HIMYM: Happy Housewarming?

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I couldn't believe how much I disliked this episode. It was getting some great press and tweets before it aired, since word got out that it was planned to be another great "structure" episode. You know, since How I Met Your Mother is synonymous with doing fabulous things when it plays with how a story is told. (aside from THE ENTIRE THING being a flashback, of course.) It bombed, guys. At first, I was afraid that I was the only one who thought it was poorly done. Then the internet began to agree. At this point, I've seen everything from tweets claiming people will never tune in again to nitpicks of everything from the camera angles to the absurd problems that the characters have in the episode. While I'm far from giving up this show, I 100% agree that it was just PLAGUED with problems. Perhaps part of the root of the issues is that this episode taught us nothing. Why would Ted relay this particular story to his teenagers? Keep that in mind as we go through what happened - keep in mind that the recap, by nature of the episode, will be a bit "off."

How I Met Your Mother "The Burning Beekeeper" (S07E1): Lily and Marshall are having a housewarming party and are paranoid that Mickey will manage to ruin it in one way or another. [what's he still doing there, anyway? or is it only like a week later, in theory?] Instead, so many other things get a chance to ruin the event, in addition to Mickey, though he's the main problem anyway. The episode really starts, however, when Robin and Ted arrive, bringing kugel into the kitchen to warm it up. [why did Robin bring kugel? Is someone Jewish all of a sudden? oh, and what was with Robin's capri pants?? or Lily's tunic?? and are they padding her butt to match the belly now?] While the kugel is warming (which takes all of five minutes, apparently), the bulk of the episode takes place, beginning with Ted yelling at Robin for being rude to an old Jewish woman. [anyone else have flashbacks of Jerry and the marble rye from Seinfeld?]

Photo: Ron P. Jaffe/Fox

In the living room, Marshall's boss tells him that they'll be going back to work soon - as in, before the party is even over. [remind me - why would Marshall's NEW boss make the 46+ minute trek out to a housewarming party? Are we to believe that he's super-nice, just like Marshall?] Marshall wants to confront Mr. Cootes, but ends up quitting instead. [yeah. because Marshall loved being out of work so much last time. plus, he has a baby on the way, guys.] Don't worry though, Marshall and Mr. Cootes make up like two minutes later - hang in there. 

Oh, so I guess it's worth mentioning that Mr. Cootes is really a main character in this episode. In the dining room, he goes after the vegan snacks, getting pissed when the spring rolls run out so early. Barney (who had been gobbling them down) blames Ted, so Mr. Cootes gets all up in Ted's face about being a non-vegan and eating vegan food. And, speaking of food, Lily is very excited about a special wheel of gouda that she bought on the internet. But, it falls on the floor and two rats jump on it, so when Marshall tries to serve it, she knocks it to the ground and stamps on it. [sad. I was looking forward to hearing when everyone said about it... I mean, gouda is a waxed cheese, and the rats were only on there for a second... wasn't some of it salvageable?] 

While all of this is going on, there's a fairly typical Barney scenario taking place. A neighbor propositions Barney to have sex with her in the upstairs guest bedroom. [how many bedrooms does this place have? 4?] The woman is a crazy cat lady (and not hott enough to compensate when you look at the Mendoza Diagonal), and Lily warns Barney that this woman has a history of taking a knife to the genitalia of men who don't call her back. Barney begins to get really nervous, talking to Robin about his love for his genitals, but ends up sleeping with her anyway. The craziness comes out again, however, and Barney has to make a run for it amidst the bees in the house.

The bees? Oh yeah, about them... Mickey has 10,000 bees in the basement because he's decided to start a new business. He's a rookie, though, and therefore takes all suggestions seriously - like Barney's idea to douse the beekeeping suit in kerosene. [do people really keep kerosene around anymore?] Well, they get out of their enclosure but are still in the basement. But, after Mickey talks to Mr. Cootes about taking up beekeeping as a hobby, Cootes tries on the suit and opens the basement door to go downstairs... just as the timer on the kugel goes off. So, Cootes opens the oven, catches on fire, and races through the house to get to some snow. [do they not have a backdoor? Why would a vegan (a fact about Cootes that is seriously pushed) want to take up beekeeping?] While this is happening, the bees come up into the house, and while everyone is outside checking on Cootes (who is high off the adrenaline rush of the whole thing - hence how Marshall gets his job back), they invade the rest of the house.