by Amy K. Bredemeyer
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Hot in Cleveland "Everything Goes Better with Vampires" (S03E16): The maid, Jackie, isn't cleaning so Victoria tells Melanie to fire her, as a celebrity firing a maid would only result in a tell-all book. [the first of a half-dozen The Help jokes this episode. Too bad they beat that horse to death!] Joy can't do it because Jackie apparently can't understand her accent. [again, once or twice is was laughable, but they went a little far with this one, too.] Once Jackie breaks Victoria's Daytime Emmy, however, Victoria is ready to lay down the law! [with the tiny bit we learned about Jackie's character, I didn't really see "honesty" as being a big priority for her, so why would she confess to Victoria about the award right away?]
"Rick Springfield" is picking up Joy for a date, though she quickly connives him into moving straight to the bedroom. After their intimacy, however, she notices that he doesn't have a certain scar, so it's yet another one of her faux-Rick Springfields. [Joy has an unhealthy obsession with Rick Springfield, got it. But if the writers really wanted us to believe that, why haven't any of her other attempts been shown before now? We're not in season one...]
Elka's friend comes by to collaborate on writing a radio play adaptation. [now here's something you don't see everyday!] Elka wants to get a younger audience by adding vampires to Gone with the Wind. [I laughed at probably all of the jokes in this storyline... from "modernization" to vampires and werewolves to 70-year-olds being young... great stuff.]
Melanie is dating an intellectual but decides to break it off with him... just before a mandatory lockdown goes into effect because of an armed robbery in the area. So, all four girls have unwanted guests, as each woman's story comes to an impasse at around the same time. [I enjoyed Victoria's joke about the 99% and Occupying the living room.] The group decides to play charades, but that doesn't last long. Victoria eventually apologizes to Jackie and FakeRick apologizes to Joy. [FakeRick did have a good point about carrying out a different persona because it repeatedly works...] Melanie and her guy and Elka and her friend make up, then the police come to the door to let them know that the lockdown is over. [I thought that they could have carried this over to a second episode if they wanted, but I guess not... I did like the reading of the Vampire mashup of Gone with the Wind, tho!]
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