South Park: Gerbils Take Over?

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

South Park "Bass to Mouth" (S15E10): A kid at school had an accident requiring that his mother bring in a new pair of underwear and pants. It's on a gossip site, Eavesdropper, which some of the kids are touting as awesome.

kids checking out Eavesdropper
photo courtesy: Comedy Central

Cartman gets called into the principal's office and asked to let the kid's accident go, giving an example of another kid's nightmare that Cartman caused... that kid ended up committing suicide. The school doesn't want another suicide on their hands, so they say they'll make it worth Cartman's while if he'll let it go. [I can't even begin to guess what Cartman might get in return...] Cartman tricks another girl into eating a laced cookie, which causes her to have an accident in class... she jumps off the roof in an attempt to kill herself, but survives. [things like this piss me off too much to laugh.] Cartman is brought back into the principal's office and told that he can't make fun of anyone for having accidents OR make them kill themselves. Of course, Cartman finds this appallingly difficult. His solution? Give the entire school laxatives on the pizza, plus Arby's horsey sauce. [this show always has weird things to say about what makes you have digestive troubles...]

Meanwhile, Stan sent a private email to Kenny that gets on the Eavesdropper and Stan is pissed. Kyle "tracks the IP address" to find out that the stories are being posted from the music room... where there's a "rat" typing away. [these kids always do the craziest things that would never be possible...] The creature is named Wikilinks, who has a brother named Lemmiwinks. [love the names, not the talking animals.] The kids try to stop the vermin, but it runs off and finds more gossip, like the fact that two of the girls in school have alcoholic mothers. While the hunt is in progress, the teachers get Selena Gomez to come to the school and they beat her up for Cartman. [totally didn't see that coming. weird.] Then, the teachers start going after the rat, too, after they see that he is taping them spike the pizza.

A magical fish talks to the kids and tells them that the gerbil is in power because his brother can't do anything... so the kids run to a random kid's house, grab the gerbil, and take a bus back to school... BUT, the faculty conspire to have Cartman commit suicide in order to keep the pizza story under control on the website. So, they throw Cartman under the bus (literally), but the kids are more focused on stopping the Eavesdropper stuff than if Cartman's okay. So, the teachers drive them to the school so that a magical frog, fish, and owl can get the two gerbils fighting. Lemmiwinks wins in the end and all is well. Cartman has a broken leg and arm, and isn't upset about the bus incident... he did give the teachers all cupcakes, however...