Two and a Half Men: Alan Wants to be Charlie

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

We finally get an episode with a decent amount of screentime for Jake, and it ends up being more than I was ready for. I guess I still think of him as a nerdy third-grader... not a teen who can now drive and may be sexually active. No sign of Bridget this episode, but that's okay, since Walden is still sleeping around. But, not as much as Alan, who is becoming Charlie... literally.

Two and a Half Men "Thanks for the Intercourse" (S09E08): Walden sings the Maple Loops song in the kitchen, and it throws Alan, who then gives some other examples of Charlie's jingles. [Walden had never asked what Charlie did for a living? Because, other than being "Charlie Waffles," jingles was his big money-maker...] A couple guys show up to pick up the piano, as Walden donated it to an underprivileged school. Alan gets upset, and sits in that space after the piano has been removed. [wow... I mean, I know that Walden mentioned that he wanted to redecorate, but I wonder how different the house will become! Also, laughed at "Songs, Thongs, Bongs, and Schlongs."] Jake tells Alan that he misses Charlie too, especially since he didn't treat him like a kid. Charlie also taught Jake some things, like "if it doesn't fit, don't force it," and helped him realize that when he's Charlie's age, he wants to be married with a family. [that's cute. I'm glad that he's got some goals in life. LoL on Jake not getting the ASAP thing, and on Alan's "I couldn't score a woman like that if my semen cured cancer."]

Alone again, Alan admits to himself that he would've given anything to be like Charlie, if only for a day. So, he decides to start acting like Charlie when it comes to women, including using Charlie's name. [with the amount of women that Charlie has slept with, this is going to be a gamble!] Alan acts like Charlie the next morning, too. He mentions that he "tapped a little strange," starts drinking liquor at breakfast, etc. Oh, and he's dressing like Charlie, too.

Photo: SONJA FLEMMING/CBS ©2011
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He walks in on Jake and Megan, and tells them the kissing leads to more. Mortified, Jake tells Walden that Alan's acting like Charlie and that it's a problem. Walden suggests Alan go to therapy, and when he won't, he says he's taking him to Vegas... but drops him off at a psychiatric hospital. [hahahahaha!] Inside, Alan is talking on his hand as if it were a phoneline to the concierge... totally not realizing he's not in Vegas. But, it gets slightly better... the episode ends with Alan saying "winning."