Two and a Half Men: Walden Loves Alan

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

This show is getting more and more disappointing. I mean, I know that people are tuning in by the droves, but I'm unsure as to why... we're getting too little of Jake, next to nothing from anyone other than Charlie and Walden (remember when Berta and Evelyn were on this show? and Judith and Herb?), and it's boring. At least, to me. Maybe I'm alone in this thought? In this episode, we basically had two things happen - Walden relied on people to help him out (Zoe and Alan), and Alan went for the greatest gift (his name on the deed over a red porshe). Nothing groundbreaking here, folks.

Two and a Half Men "Slowly and in a Circular Fashion" (S09E13): Bridget calls a stockholders' meeting to try and take over the company, which is evenly distributed between herself, Walden, and his mother. His mother seems to be siding with Bridget, so Walden has Zoe look at the information and he learns that he can name a fourth person to the board, and he'll have the tie-breaking vote. So, he asks Alan to be on the board, which is a win-win, since he's excited to screw mothers and ex-wives, and he'll get $50,000 a year. Walden calls another meeting, and Zoe outlines the corporate bylaws to Bridget and Walden's mom, who decide to leave before voting.

Photo: Darren Michaels/ Warner Bros.
©2011 Warner Bros. Television.

The ladies decide to double-team Alan at a bar, and both order $1,000 shots. Bridget soon takes off, leaving Robin with Alan. Later, Walden questions Alan's loyalty, threatening to put Jake on the board instead. So, when the ladies have dinner with him and want to know whether they can count on him at the next meeting, he talks about his loyalty to Walden. In fact, he m@sturb@ted three times so that he wouldn't give in to sex. [I thought this was pretty funny.] Well, the ladies find his new weakness... and buy him a new red Porshe. Luckily, Walden wins back Alan... by putting his name on the deed to the house! That keeps Alan's vote, which fixes the corporation issue. Walden also decides to renamed the company from "Walden Loves Bridget Enterprises" to "Walden Loves Alan Enterprises." [yeah, I totally thought this was a joke the first time it was said. and I still want it to be one, LoL.]

Alan has an idea for a chiropractic tool, which he pitches to Walden. Sadly, it's not techy enough to warrant funding. As if that wasn't odd enough, here are two more strange things: first, Alan alludes to the fact that, from years of yoga, he can put his own genitalia in his mouth. [haha at the "go f*ck yourself" assumption.] Second, the episode ends with Alan catching his crotch on fire and making a run for the ocean. [seriously.]