HIMYM: Valentine's Day Massacre

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Marshall and Lily are the only two of our five friends who have a good Valentine's Day. The other folks are all slaughtered in one way or another. Robin receives a proposal, which could have been a very happy thing (though SO cliche and rather soon), but she decides to end the relationship because of it. On one hand, she's heartbroken. On the other, she has taken a mature step into knowing that, from now on, she probably shouldn't mess around with guys who want something different in life than she does. Now, this leads me to think that Barney can't possibly be the one who marries her... he wants kids and I don't see that changing. But could Quinn be the one for Barney? She may have the kinkiness of a stripper, but I don't actually see Barney being free of jealousy issues, so this won't work out in the long run... right? Either way, his Valentine's Day is wrecked because he can't get her out of his mind. Ted has a completely different experience... while he certainly could have gone home with any of the ladies on the train, he chooses not to, having no idea that Robin suddenly became unattached. So, Ted just shrugs off the idea of a Valentine's fling for no reason, only to fall back in love with Robin after she talks his ear off. Yeah, that's kinda all that could have sparked this revelation on his part... but for him that seems to be enough. Ted is just so scatterbrained sometimes, ya know?

How I Met Your Mother "The Drunk Train" (S07E16): The group makes random jokes about the "Top Ten Things Said on Marshall and Lily's Wedding Night." [why now? they've been married for YEARS at this point!] For Valentine's Day weekend, Marshall and Lily go with Kevin and Robin to Vermont, and the veterans tell the newbies not to keep score, giving examples. [hilarious matching sweaters with the moose!] Kevin proposes to Robin. [ahhhhh! I screamed! WHO SAW THIS COMING??!?] Robin tells him that she needs some time to think. [yeah!] The situation is that Robin has not yet told Kevin about her reproductive issues. She takes a baby-step in telling Marshall and Lily first (they know about the proposal), then confronts Kevin (off-screen). He still asks her to marry him, and his mother is quick to book a date, a venue, a caterer, and a singer. [wow... she must be really picky to want to ensure she got all of those things! When I got married we had a date picked out for several months before having to change it because the venue we liked best wasn't available that day.] Then, Robin clarifies that she not only can't bear children... she doesn't want them, either. Kevin is a bit taken aback, but he wants to marry her anyway, even though he grew up wanting children. She's afraid that he'll regret giving such a big thing up... so she breaks it off with him, despite the fact that he keeps on proposing. [well, this should get rid of Kevin! And, in true sitcom style, it happens just as Barney is falling for someone else...]

Barney and Ted don't have Valentine's Day plans, and they aren't doing to well lately in the ladies department. Recently, Ted asked Barney to be his wingman, forcing Barney to talk to a girl for hours, with her just turning him down time after time. As retaliation, Barney demands that Ted play in a Laser Tag tournament with him... as his son. [LoL at both of those ideas.] We learn that Barney was actually able to score with this woman, and now he's a bit hung up on her. However, he puts that to the back of his mind when Marshall and Lily share that the last train of the night from Manhattan to Long Island is known as "The Drunk Train," since the folks on it will go home with anyone. [I've been on drunk trains, guys... in three different states... they aren't all party central...] The first night Barney and Ted try it, they

Photo: Ron P. Jaffe/CBS

wait for ladies to come to them, but end up falling asleep. [seen it!] The second night, the ladies aren't impressed and keep responding to Ted and Barney with "you think you're better than me? and throwing drinks at them. [haven't seen it. but I laughed at Barney's "I pay for the meal, you handle my deal."] The next day, Barney tries to mathematically find out what's wrong with their approach (oh, by the way, Barney apparently went to MIT...), but Ted realizes that they just need to get drunk! [particularly liked the "U think U>me" part.] So, train attempt #3 has the guys drinking and acting disorderly on the train on Valentine's Day. Barney is a bit iffy on going back with any of the girls, which leads Ted to realize Barney might actually like Quinn, who we know as a stripper at a joint Barney frequents, though he apparently doesn't recognize her otherwise. [so weird!]

The episode has a terrible ending... Ted goes to console Robin, and confesses his love for her. [I even saw that one coming... but this is such a waste of time... we all know that Robin can't be the mother, at this point for at least a dozen reasons!]