Cake Boss: Rivers & Carts on Cakes

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

It seems that every baby I know goes through a year in a flash, and apparently that holds true for the families of reality television as well; Carlo Valastro turned a year old in February already! I was shocked at how elaborate Buddy was with a cake that his son will never remember, but the dedication was cute. The dumpster cake and synchronized swimming cake in the second episode were both different, but there was nothing spectacular about the latter, so it was probably only featured because of the swimming challenge that Buddy presented. Of course, seeing Anthony and Maurizio nearly naked will likely reel in the teen girls, but the story probably didn't do anything else for the show. And this whole "Mary isn't doing her job anymore" thing has already been milked... let's hope that Buddy wraps it up quickly so that we can move on. I mean, was she anyone's favorite?

Also, there's a discrepancy on whether this is the true beginning of Season Five, or if these new episodes are #3 and #4 instead. See, the two memorable episodes in January were four months ago, but they also came two months after what was believed to be the end of Season Four. We'll stick with believing this is the start of Season Five for now, but this may change, so be aware.

Cake Boss "Fitting In, Fed Up, & a First Birthday" (S05E01): Carlo is turning 1, and Lisa wants a candy-themed party. [you know, because infants don't even eat candy. Also, Carlo was born around Valentine's Day, if that gives you a frame of reference as to when this was taped.] We see some old pictures of the others kids' first-birthday parties: Sophia's was princess-themed, Buddy Jr. was Hawaiian-themed, and Marco was bright colors/animals? Buddy envisions a Candy Mountain cake with a chocolate river, requiring some long hours to figure out the pump and flow of the river. [LOVE that cake! a pretty big monster for a one-year-old, but awesome. I want to make the trees, LoL.[ Buddy mentions that it's his final first-birthday cake for his children, so apparently they're not planning on more. 

credit: TLC

Marissa is still new to the bakery, and Buddy gives her a faux assignment - a two-tiered cake that she designs herself. It's straight, level, and has good piping, but she hasn't earned the privilege to make cakes for clients yet. [...okay.]

Mary doesn't want to work six days a week. She's almost three hours late to work one day, frustrating Grace. Mary claims that she has a life, and she doesn't even check email if she's not at work. [yeah, yeah.]

Cake Boss "Trash, Twirls, & Tough Love" (S05E02): They're doing a cake for a garbage business and Buddy wants it to be able to roll off a dumpster. Fortunately, they've taught themselves how to weld. [mmmhmmmm.] There's a lot of trial and error, but it works in the end.

They're doing a cake for a synchronized swimming team, as the founder is celebrating 30 years. Nothing outstanding about the cake, but the talk of swimming has Anthony bragging yet again. So, Buddy sets up a two-man relay race - Anthony picks Maurizio as his partner while Buddy pairs up Jay and Ralph as the competitors. [I thought it was funny that they had no say in it.] Losers have to serve cannolis outside in January in Speedos while the winners get two days off with pay. [which means this part takes place before Carlo's first birthday (February) cake, seen in an episode prior. nice prize, tho!] Anthony has a great lead with his start, but on the final leg, Ralph sprinted to a win. [haha, "can we do the Tebow?"]

Mary calls a staff meeting because she doesn't think any of "her employees" "get it." She doesn't want to come in anymore, but tells the group that they're going to get fired if they don't do their jobs. [hypocrite, much?] Buddy is concerned that Mary is a liability, and the episode ends with him sitting her down in his office for a chat. [...and we kinda see where this is going...]