Pregnant in Heels: Learning & Choosing

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I'm disappointed that Jenay chose Desiree. Yes, the Children's Bible was a bit of a cop-out, and I didn't see a lot of promise in the pick-a-dress category, but you'd think that being frustrated with a child but managing to have a teachable moment in the final two minutes wouldn't be worth as much as being willing to take your child to church and knowing some basic biblical facts (like which books are known as The Gospels). Especially after Jenay and Will had talked to Rosie about what they were looking for in a godmother. The dynamics between Paula and Jay were interesting, but I was a bit bothered by how little they knew about having a baby when they were already pregnant... it makes me wonder how many people are in that situation... scary!

Pregnant in Heels "When Baby Robots Attack" (S02E03): Rosie sees a speech therapist, Lynn, who does some mouth exercises with her. Rosie is surprised when she's told that she sounds young. [really? that surprises her? has she NEVER watched her show or a tape of herself speaking?]

Client #1: Paula & Jay - five months pregnant with their first child. Paula calls Rosie because she feels that Jay isn't being supportive, but it turns out that there are much larger problems at hand. While Paula is a personal chef, Jay runs his own fitness & wellness company, and he feels that he'll never let up on his work. She feels like she's second but he claims that she's not. [I'm with her so far...] Paula doesn't know about baths, umbilical cords, car seats, or how to swaddle, and Jay doesn't know much either, so Rosie has them take an all-day baby bootcamp, where they learn diapering, burping, bathing, feeding, swaddling... but never turn off their phones. [I can't imagine letting my phone ring TWICE at an event! I'd be mortified!] That night, Rosie brings a bassinet with a robot baby for them to care for, together. [wow. after spending all day learning, this could be rough... I bet I'd want a break!] The doll needs to be fed, burped, diapered, swaddled, rocked, and put to bed, and info will be sent to Rosie so she can evaluate how they do. They only feed the baby for a few seconds before trying to move on, and the same thing happens with the burping. Jay tries to help and Paula takes over, but Rosie winds up having to step in and help. [eeek!] When the baby cries, Jay tries to take care of it, but Paula won't let him. [hmmmm...] When Rosie returns to discuss their results, they had the baby for six hours and the baby was calm for only 7 minutes. [yep, rather worrisome.] Basically, Paula and Jay suck at communication. So, Rosie brings has them do some team-building exercises, and by the time Baby Max is born, Paula has given Jay some trust, and Jay has cut working three nights a week.  

Client #2: Jenay & Will are having their first baby - he's a family law attorney and she's a criminal defense attorney. They need to pick a godmother, and it's really stressful. [may the Lord bless me with that being my biggest conundrum, lmao. but not really, I'm not worried in that department.] She's between her sister, Monique, 11 years older and a mother and teacher, and Desiree, who has been Jenay's best friend for 17 years. Jenay and Will see the godparents having a close relationship with their daughter, and will take on the caretaking role if the worst should happen. For their daughter, their priorities are that she is raised in a caring home, brought up in the church, and understands dressing well. [while I can't understand that being #3 on my list, it should make for some interesting comments.] Jenay thinks both women are equal in advice-giving, care, etc. so Rosie designs a set of challenges to help Jenay decide. [could this be Rosie's easiest job yet?] Desiree and Monique name one another weak points - Desiree says Monique is sensitive and Monique says Desiree has no patience. [mmmhmm.] There's a religion pop quiz next - Monique gets 9 correct and Desiree doesn't know any of them. [well, for a family who wants their daughter raised in the church, a godparent should probably be able to name the gospels or know that God appeared to Moses as a burning bush. [failing at naming the three gifts that the Kings brought to baby Jesus was my personal favorite. If you know some basic Christmas carols, I think you could have gotten there.] Monique asks Desiree if she'd take Jenay's daughter to church, and she says no, unless Jenay and Will pass away. [probably not a good sign. it must be annoying to hear bells in a tea room like that!]

Photo by: Andrei Jackamets/Bravo

Next, Jenay's godson is brought to play with the contenders - each gets 15 minutes to try to teach the kid something. Desiree doesn't think it's fair, as she's at a disadvantage. Everyone watches as each woman attempts... though Cuba, three, just wants to run around instead. Desiree is disappointed that Monique didn't command attention better. Desiree doesn't know what to teach him, tries a few things, then leaves the kid to brood for a few minutes before teaching him to count to three. Monique is surprised that she was beat. [I don't know that she actually was, by the way.] Rosie has the girls each try to pick a dress for Jenay's baby's dedication, and Monique wins. [this was a shortened segment for some reason...] The final challenge is to bring a gift for the baby. Monique got them a children's Bible, and Desiree thinks it's an obvious choice that only looks at one aspect of the baby's life. [not her worst comment.] Desiree chose a charm bracelet, which could be added to whenever she does something with the child. [thoughtful now, though it does get her out of thinking of gifts for a long time.] Jenay says that Desiree's gift is nice because it represents exposing their child to different cultures. It's a tie, but Jenay chooses Desiree, who says that it means the world to her. Rosie points out that Monique still gets to be the aunt, and Monique says that Desiree deserves it. ["still gets to be the aunt" ? awkward.] At the baby dedication, Baby Leila is spoiled by both.

Mummy IQ: Do you give a newborn baby a bath? When does the umbilical cord fall off? When do you switch from rear-facing to forward-facing car seats? Do you ever put the baby to sleep on its back? When do you start tummy time?