by Amy K. Bredemeyer
I'm one of those people who were given a middle name that sucked. When I got married I gave it the boot, throwing my maiden name into that slot instead (which, actually, is much worse in a sense, but anyway). There are a lot of television characters with unfortunate middle names. This week we'll go over some males, next week the females!
10. Theodore Jasper Dettweiler (Recess). "Jasper" isn't all that bad, but it's bad enough for a fourth grade to go by TJ instead.
9. Bartholomew Jojo Simpson (The Simpsons). "Jojo" isn't that bad, either, but let's keep in mind that it's Bart, and he's not exactly high on the list of kids-so-perfect-nobody-will-tease-them. Plus, it sounds goofy.
8. Leonard Leakey Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory). Yes, he's named after an archaeologist friend of the family, but it's geeky and laughable.
7. Waldo Geraldo Faldo (Family Matters). Now, having each of your names rhyme might qualify you to be higher on the list, but the strangeness of the character in general balances that out some.
6. Milhouse Mussolini Van Houten (The Simpsons). Um, who names their child after the founder of fascism?
5. Douglas Yancey Funnie (Doug). Here, we have a name that you could play off as being some beloved ancestor's name. But only if it was used sparingly. On Doug, we see the name used frequently, and the guidance counselor ALWAYS makes sure to use the Yancey.
4. Maxwell Beverly Sheffield (The Nanny). For a man so important in New York, you'd think they'd give him an honorable middle name. But the other reason he ranks so highly is the humorous scene in which the name is revealed, and Fran's reaction to hearing it.
3. Geoffrey Barbara Butler (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air). Boys with girly middle names top the list because it's odd and hard to play off. I went to school with a girl named Michael (first name), and it was very strange. I haven't seen her in ten years, but I wonder if she eventually began going by something else... Oh, and let's not forget the irony of having your surname be your profession.
2. Drew Allison Carey (The Drew Carey Show). Allison is a REALLY girly name, and not even in an old-fashioned way. Plus, it's his REAL name as well. AND, all three of his names have female spellings but the same pronunciations.
1. Chandler Muriel Bing (Friends). Not only is "Muriel" a really unimpressive middle name, but "Chandler" "Bing" never really had a chance in the first place. I mean, Chandler is not that enticing of a name, and even Phoebe's dimly-portrayed brother chooses it as a girl's name for one of his triplets. And once a name gets used by a dog, that's it.