Friday, December 10, 2010

New Competitions: Bridalplasty & The Next Great Baker

by Amy K. Bredemeyer


Bridalplasty (S01E01 & S01E02):
I'm a week late getting on this one because I just heard about its existence. The premise is that there's a bunch of engaged women competing for plastic surgeries. If you're not the loser of the week, you get a treatment. So, the person who lasts the longest gets the most surgeries. The big winner also gets a dream wedding. Oh, and they can't see their fiancees while they're away, AND not until their wedding days! Fascinating and creepy, huh? I thought so, that's why I'm not DVRing it.
Anyway, the first episode introduces us to the 12 girls, Cheyenne has a good stomach, but she hates everything else, pretty much. Her fiancee agrees she could get a nose job. Allyson talked about her bad luck in life, how she's been laid off, etc. Lisa Marie talks about missing her fiance. Kristen was a pageant queen as a teen, so I'm not sure what her thought process is on doing this thing. Alexandra is 21 but looks closer to 30, and her fiancee thinks that if they're getting a dream wedding she should get a dream body. She wants a lot done, and the fiancee asks her for a boob job. Dominique is whining because her parents spent all their money on her sister's wedding... so I think she's more after the wedding than the body, LoL. Jenessa is a type-A, competitive, and a talker. Jaimie is already married with two kids, but they had a courthouse wedding. Netty wants to feel fabulous, and the fiancee is okay with a butt augmentation and okay with a breast augmentation. Ashley wants a bigger chest and a different nose. The fiancee loves her as she is. Alexandra and her fiancee are from Biggest Loser, and the girls in the house have various reactions to that "fame." Melissa is also married, but her husband is in Iraq, and they did a courthouse wedding because of his deployment. He's going to come home while she's at the house, so she's sad about that. Jessica is 30 but looks 23 or so. She's big on breast augmentation, but it sounds like she has good reason - she has had cysts removed and her breasts are uneven.
After introductions, we meet Dr. Dubrow, who goes over the wishlists. Alexandra is first... more on her Biggest Loser stuff. Then Lisa Marie... lots of drawing on her body with marker - 15 surgeries+. Allyson has a 3-year-old. She's got some flab, but not as much drawing. Jenessa and Jessica and Jaimie are getting some breasts. Cheyenne is getting some legwork, but otherwise she had a pretty nice body. Ashley is angry that "some skinny girls" are even there. The first night, they're having a Bridal Party. Ashley pawned her ring to pay for her car. And she didn't tell her fiance!! After three teases of a surprise guest, we see that it's the soldier, back from Iraq where he's been for 8 months. Melissa was very happy. Some of the girls were really happy for her. The first challenge had everyone's bikini bodies blown up to giant posters in the tent. In front of each photo were puzzle pieces for what the girl could look like in the end, so they raced to do their puzzles. When you finish you get to go to an injectables party, and the last 2 aren't safe to stay until next week. Jenessa thinks she's super-smart. Kristen finished first. Then Jessica, then Cheyenne. Jenessa got in under the wire. Lisa Marie gets the last syringe, leaving Ashley and Alexandra to be the "bottom two." Apparently Alexandra was the first person to go home on Biggest Loser. and WHOA, there's a giant syringe ice sculpture, LoL. There's a hand vote taken after each of the two girls gets a chance to talk about why they deserve to stay there. Ashley tried to use Alexandra's Biggest Loser thing against her, and Alexandra used it for herself. Out of 10 votes, 3 go to Ashley, 7 to Alexandra. I'm glad that Ashley got taken out tho, aside from Jenessa, I liked Ashley the least. Jenessa, Melissa, and Lisa Marie weer the ones that voted for Ashley (Jenessa because she's sick of Alexandra's Biggest Loser crap). And now those three are on Alexandra's sh!tlist.

On to the second episode... Jenessa is angry that Alexandra is still there. Jenessa wants an alliance with Melissa and Dominique. Jaimie thinks Allyson is a whiner. Every week they're doing some planning, this week is vows. Jenessa said that she'll have to write her fiance's vows, too! And some flashy wedding rings. Most seemed to be in the $5,000-6,000 range, one at $7,000. They all looked pretty similar to one another, LoL. Each person has to write 5 vows and see how well they match the vows of what each fiance wants to hear. They get an hour to work on them. Allyson is worried. Jenessa is worried. Lisa Marie goes first. Melissa thinks it's too dramatic. Lisa Marie's fiance gave weird things in his vows, so they had 0 matches. Cheyenne goes next, and she matches the wrestling season, the laundry, the wife and mother, and the love, so 4 matches. Allyson is third, and matches positive, so just 1. Her fiance gave really specific and weird vows, too. Alexandra gets 2, Melissa gets 3, Netty gets 2, Jaimie gets 2, Dominique gets 2, Jenessa gets 3. Allyson freaks out that she didn't do so well. Alexandra isn't into that. Jessica thought that she had a great shot, but ended up getting 0. Jenessa thought Kristen was inappropriate with her vows containing sex, but it matched so that worked. Kristen actually got 3. Lisa Marie, Jessica, and Allyson were the bottom brides. They get a day to decide who they want to STAY in the house. Lisa Marie turned to prayer. Voting is done by sealed envelope this time. The Top Bride doesn't vote, she leaves for her surgery and gets 2 WEEKS of "being safe" which is cool. Kristen is planning to vote for Allyson to stay, to show her that there is hope. Jenessa wants Lisa Marie to stay. "If you fail to plan you plan to fail" was Jenessa's motto. Cheyenne is getting her nose done at Newport Heights Medical Center. I'd never watched a rhinoplasty before (I've watched boob jobs, tummy tucks, and liposuctions a-plenty) and was a little taken aback at how gruesome it was... Jaimie is kinda weird... I can't decide how I feel about her. Jenessa's alliance plan looked to be working pretty well. A recovery room, haha. Cheyenne would vote for Jessica, but she doesn't get a choice, LoL. I wonder if Cheyenne was trying to get Kristen to vote on her behalf kinda, LoL. Melissa asked Jessica to see the breast scars, and she showed a little, and not Melissa isn't dead-set on Lisa Marie anymore. Kristen was really torn!! Netty voted for Jessica. Jenessa is so fake!! But she voted for Lisa Marie, as planned. Alexandra went with Allyson, but that's fine with me, since I want both of them kicked out. Melissa went with Lisa Marie because she saw Jessica as too big of a threat!! Dominique went with Lisa Marie, as expected. Jenessa had a mean puppy-dog comment. Jaimie went with with Allyson!! OMG, what?? Kristen faked me out and went with Allyson. So Jessica gets sent home, and I'm sad. She does a good job of staying together, though, since so many of the other girls were crying.

The Simpsons (S22E08):
Christmas episode already! Special opening!! yay!!Gingerbread McMansion was cool. "I wanted them til I got them" haha. Polar Express parody. haha with Otto driving. hahaha, pot makes the train go. Whoa, trippy. Toy Soldier in a wheelchair? okay. There were some awesome nods to A Charlie Brown Christmas and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer! "I may have been naughty, but no by today's standards. I didn't get anyone pregnant and I didn't Facebook some kid to death." heh. another cartoon where we get multiple stories. Lisa not wanting a Christmas tree until her mother returned from World War II conflict. And then Marge goes MIA. Who keeps a tree for a year, LoL? The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and a stuffed elephant yielded THAT dream??!? Funny about Martha Stewart being who Marge wrote to, and the knitting of a jetpack was cool. "A picket fence stood on its end makes a sturdy and attractive ladder" VERY strange toy soldiers! face-down snow angels? "Hubby's Holiday Helper" ... chloroform?? Crazy magic wand, too. Katy Perry made me laugh.

The Cleveland Show (S02E08): not a normal show for me, but heard it was a holiday episode so I jumped on it. I liked the intro with everyone on the tree a lot. haha, Rollo didn't get that Jewish was a religion because he just thought that it was a word to describe people who were thrifty, ran the media, etc. haha. Funny references to Up, Fiddler on the Roof, RockBand, and black-and-white cookies. The old guy making a Star of David instead of a Snow Angel was funny, too. Rollo hiding the old man was weird. Cleveland and his wife boxing in the yard was weird. haha, "training montage cut due to familiarity" was amusing.

Family Guy (S09Exx): no episode this week, episode 7 coming up on December 12th.

Kate Plus Eight (S02Exx): not this week.

Cake Boss: Next Great Baker (S01E01): 10 bakers vying for a chance to work with the guys at Carlo's and get $50,000. Over 8 weeks, they'll be tested... and they have to please all of the Cake Boss people... like Mary, LoL. Each week will have a Baker's Challenge (timely) and an Elimination Challenge. The top person in the Baker's Challenge gets a buy from the second challenge. Joe is from Brooklyn, was a plumber, and is now a pastry chef, who specializes in cannolis. Pamela was an electrical engineer from Virginia, turned cake designer. Dana from Delaware is a cake decorator, "the sugar daddy." Johanna from MA, who has been icing cakes since high school. She does Renaissance Faires. Megan from Texas is young and cocky. Gregory from Jersey City, the "Lady Gaga of Cakes" who loves stuff that's "out there." Corina from Long Island who was a full-time mom who started baking, and opened a bake shop. Jake from Nashville does couture wedding cakes. He's the one who will be sabotaging people. Kendra from smalltown Virginia who was a 6th grade English teacher who bakes on the side, at her home. Brian from Austin, Texas, who does "wild cakes."
First Baker's Challenge: In 2 hours, they have to make their best dessert. They get to use their own inspiration, and the winner will get a special advantage later. Corina tried to help Gregory, and that was really nice of her. I like Buddy trying to be tough, hehe. Buddy and Mauro do the tasting. Taro Coconut Cupcake (Pamela) = different. Rosemary olive oil cake with orange topping (Joe) = nice texture. Caramel pie (Jay) = not visually pleasing but tasted very good. Banana split (Dana) = wish there was more baking, but very good. Strawberry lemonade cake with lemon basil filling (Brian) = over-baked. Bomb-diggidy-hug-yur-baby-daddy all-night-long-amazing-tasting chocolate hazelnut cake (Greggy) = a lot of words, looks thrown together. Almond Cupcake with buttercream icing (Megan) = spectacular job, very good. Chocolate cake with peanut butter ganache (Corina) = looks pretty good, needs a glass of milk with it (which apparently you don't want to hear), a little dry. Better than Sex cake (Kendra) = cake's not bad, definitely ain't better than sex. Carrot cake (Johanna) = a little spicy, it's liked. Overall, Greggy and Corina were in the bottom two. The top two were Pamela and Joe (who was the very best).
This week's Elimination Challenge is 3 hours the first day and six hours the next day, and you have to create a celebratory cake. Mary is going to be the extra judge. Sucks that Pamela was having such a difficult time getting her hands on a mixer. I liked how everyone was picking different holidays and stuff. OMG Pamela left the oven on all night??!? It sounded like she thought she turned OFF the ovens, tho... and now she has to start over. Jay spent 15 minutes helping people, just so they think he'll be a helper in the future, LoL. Pamela did a Chinese New Year cake. Nobody seemed to get the "gold nugget" part. Joe made a feast of giglio cake, which is an Italian thing. The look wasn't great, but his immunity was going to save him, LoL. Dana made a "baby daddy" cake... Mary didn't look thrilled. Joe did an Easter cake... it looked pretty nice, except for the handle that broke. Brian did an elaborate 4th of July cake. He demonstrated it for Buddy and the crew, and they saw the fog come out, but the confetti didn't go. But who wants confetti on their cake anyway? Greggy did his sweet sixteen cake. Megan did a birthday cake. Mary didn't know it was a Yorkie, she thought it was a wolf. Corina did an anniversary cake that was a tree at the bottom and two tiers for her kids at the top... tasted moist but the outside wasn't impressive. Kendra's football cake just looked plain. The sponge was dry. Johanna's Halloween cake was a haunted house. I thought it looked good except the buttercream was different. They called Pamela's cake amateur and Joe's cake a joke. They thought Greggy's cake was good enough to be sold by Carlo's. Mixed thoughts on Megan's. Kendra's was sloppy, uneven, flat, and Mary didn't like it at all. The chicken looked good, but that was mostly hidden. Johanna's old-school buttercream went well with Mauro, but Mary thought it was something you'd make at home with your kids. Dana, Brian, Jay, Corina were "okay." Greggy, Megan, Johanna were "the best three of the day" and the winner goes to Greggy. Joe thought he took on too much. Mauro and Mary thought that Joe should go home, regardless of the "pass" he had the day before. Buddy asked Joe which cake was the worst, Joe agreed it was his, and Buddy said that he could volunteer to go home if he felt that way. Wow! That's a shocker! Joe doesn't want to give up his immunity, Mauro rolls his eyes, and Buddy lets him keep his immunity. What's all this "true to myself" junk? I don't think you can stay with that in baking. Buddy votes Kendra to go home, which I agree with.
Most cakes take at least 30 minutes to cool, but they're on a time crunch and the quality is suffering. :( I'm not a big fan of Greggy using words like "totes" and "jelly" and "sexalicious" and "Gaysian" and "fabu." I found it interesting that Joe and Pamela were the best bakers but the worst decorators... I wonder how that'll play out as time goes on. And what's with locking the "not the next great baker" in the box truck? Are they getting driven to the airport, LoL?

Little People, Big World (S06E19 & S06E20): Why was Jeremy sleeping in "the forest"? And I agree with Matt... the kids are 20, they need a push, LoL. It always makes me laugh when people don't have resumes... we had to do them in 9th grade and update them every year, so I got in the habit of updating mine every time something changed, LoL. "utilize my interpersonal skills in a challenging customer service setting" LoL. Matt takes Zach to look at cars, which I thought was weird since Amy already took him to look at cars, LoL. And Zach was set back then, now he's kinda wavering. $29k for an Outback? Interesting. How many Xboxes do they have?? Matt is considering SELLING THE FARM to make the twins leave the nest?? What exactly does that accomplish, aside from giving them no place to live otherwise? He says he'll sell it after pumpkin season. And again with Jeremy referring to his dad as "Matt Roloff" LoL. Jeremy doesn't want to fill out an application online so he goes into the store to get an application, but they only have them online anyway, hahaha. And he keeps saying "I hate computers," which isn't helping anything. Who doesn't know their SSN by the time they're 20??? haha, "Indoor Goals job is #1 instead of the farm" was funny. Nice that Zach took the initiative to ask for more hours and be ready to work 7am on Saturday mornings to do so. I thought Jacob was mowing the lawn now, why did Matt ask Jeremy and Zach about that? Jeremy and Matt talking over one another gets old FAST. I was curious as to what Amy thought about all this, and she comes in and says she's pro-selling. Jeremy bought ANOTHER car?? To fix up and sell. I like how he tried to act like he was fixing it for a friend, until Amy asked him which friend, LoL!! I LOVED Amy's earrings in that scene. They looked kinda like the outlines of gift packages, hehe. Odd interview Jeremy had to that machinery place. Awwww, Zach and Matt doing the loan paperwork! haha, Zach: "I don't go on dates, so I'm solid" regarding having to have money for dates.
Is it the same day or does Jeremy just leave up his tent all the time? If Zach just bought a new car, why is he still driving the Previa, LoL? $844 for 2 bedroom, $1035 for 3. hahaha, Zach thought rent was more like $250-300/month. But he's basing that on movies, LoL. They were still looking at some really big houses on a lot of land, LoL. hahahahaha, the boys ultimately decide that they need another YEAR to move out on their own, LoL. Matt and Amy decide to keep the farm for now, too. Amy does mention that the marriage is still rocky, then we get a big montage of the past, and then Matt agrees that things are different. Jacob and Molly weren't really present in these two episodes, but since they were never into the filming like the other kids, I guess I'm okay with that. [series finale]

House, M.D. (S07Exx): no episode this week. #9 to be announced, probably January.

How I Met Your Mother (S06E11): This week, we have The Mermaid Theory, which was pretty cool. I thought it was funny that the gang was troubled trying to figure out why The Captain was creepy, and Marshall rushing in to point it out on the giant portrait was funny. The "hates that he loves them" about the Jonas Brothers was funny. hehe, hair-washing party... flashback to Kelly Kapowski, LoL. The confusion of the Barney-Lily fight was so funny, although I did figure out part of it before the reveal. Cold weather, sports, and cold weather sports was funny for the only commonalities of Marshall and Robin. The eye-twitching was even worse. The motorcycle in the bar was funny, but the street was funnier when OldTed realized the setting was wrong, lmao. The shadowing on The Captain's face when he was talking to Ted on the boar was clever. Flashback, Lily's eventually going to get pregnant. 243 days??!?

Minute to Win It (S02E16): This is the first of three holiday-themed episodes this month. It's also for $3 million with 12 challenges, for the 12 Days of Christmas. Everyone in the audience also won a Despicable Me BlueRay/DVD combo pack. First up we have two girls, Autumn (in red) and Allison (in green). They're sisters and they're seven years apart. They look super-alike! They have 6 brothers - one is there in the studio and the other five give video messages. They really love their mom... apparently she works 7 days a week and they want to be able to pay off her house so that she can retire.
Game 1: Wreath Relay: Use your heads to transfer the wreath across the stage and onto a lamppost in 60 seconds. They seem to really know what they're doing, and get it on with 41 seconds to spare.
Game 2: Jingle in the Trunk: 12 jungle bells in the tissue box, attached to your backside. One person has to move around to get all 12 out. Autumn goes for it, and gets it with 43 seconds to spare!
Game 3: Holiday Bonus (this can give them extra stuff, like an extra life, extra time, etc.): The challenge is: Face the Gingerbread Man: Put a gingerbread man on your forehead and use your facial muscles to get it into your mouth. Allison goes for it. She knows what she's doing and gets it with 42 seconds to spare. These girls are on it!! (They get an extra life as their holiday bonus)
Game 4: Christmas Ball Conveyor: Team game. Use a ribbon stretched between them to move two ornaments across the stage and onto a tree. The first was going well until it flew off, but Allison caught it so they still got the point. The second one fell off. The third made it with 2 seconds to spare.
Game 5: Holiday Bonus: Do You Hear What I Hear?: Team game of shaking boxes to figure out how many bells are inside: 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, or 35. They're excited about this one. Autumn totally did the bulk of the work. They second-guessed themselves a lot. They messed up the 15 and the 20, so they failed. I think Guy knew that was coming, LoL. Allison will life, Autumn will shake... good plan for the second attempt! I think that making this one a two-person game is actually a hindrance... like they said, you can't shake more than one at once so it's difficult to work on. Allison looked lost when Autumn asked her to check two sets of two boxes. This time they get it all correct. I think that they should have lost the holiday bonus since they didn't get it on the first try... but they got a 10-extra-seconds thing anyway.
Game 6: Christmas Ball: Use a gift-wrapped box to roll an ornament to a specific spot, by flapping the box like a fan. Autumn goes for it. She gets it with 23 seconds to go. It was a bit tricky!
Game 7: Christmas Cliffhanger: Blow at a Christmas card (with the fold at the top) across a table so that it hangs on the edge without falling off. You only have to do it once, and you have 10 chances. The girls are looking worried. Autumn goes for it. She makes the very first card do it! And apparently she has never done it before, LoL.
Game 8: Raise Your Glass: Build a tower with four martini glasses and twelve Christmas ornaments (the round ball kind) - four in each glass. Allison goes for it, and gets to the part where the last glass goes on top when it all falls and time runs out. Allison goes again, I wonder why she doesn't use the "ten extra seconds," but she seems to have a grip on it. I am pretty sure she makes it, but they cut the episode with like a second or two left in the "three second wait time" part. boo.

16 and Pregnant (S02E17): Kayla, 17, from Centre, Alabama. Spoiled by her parents. a beauty queen, a hunter, and an equestrian. Has been with JR for 6 months. October at 20 weeks: haha, the restaurant they're at is called "Greens and Beans." JR has already graduated from high school. She had previously wanted to major in nursing. JR is a mechanic, and wants them to move in together. It's a boy. JR doesn't like horses. JR's parents own other houses and will let them move into one if they get married. 24 weeks: JR's mom wants to make sure Kayla isn't blaming JR, LoL. It makes me laugh a little bit that his parents accept the pregnancy, and clearly know that they're having sex, but still won't let them live together unless they're married. Whoa, deer on the wall, LoL. JR seems like he's ready to go to the courthouse, but Kayla isn't sure she's ready. December at 28 weeks: she's still trying to do pageants, and calls one to find out why she can't do a pageant after she has a child. Both moms think Kayla can take off just 2 weeks from school, and they're both plotting taking vacation to help with the baby. They're still going hunting together, which is kinda cute. She's understandably upset that all of her friends are going away to college (good for them! I feel like the case is often the opposite). December at 32 weeks: she's still going to the gym. 34 weeks: she's doing a pregnancy photo shoot. And he worked it into the proposal! cute. She starts having contractions and is bleeding... 7 cm already! 2 hours later she's pushing, and we get photos of the delivery instead of video, so that's a nice change. 5 pounds, 7 ounces for being 5 weeks early. Poor latching so she's pumping. hahaha, her friends came by "after school." Kayla's parents let JR stay overnight, but his mom makes him stay in a different room, so he's not getting up at night like she is. February and he's a month old: she still hasn't gone back to school. She wants to wear the baby and ride a horse?? That doesn't look too promising... I'm a little concerned that she's not using a carseat... every time we see her exit a car, she's carrying the baby... The Christmas tree is still up, LoL. Kayla flat-out won't move out of her parents' house yet. March at 5 weeks old: she has to go to school next week so she doesn't become ineligible to graduate.

Better With You (S01E10):
We already got a taste of Christmas a few episodes ago when we had the family preparing their Christmas card, and the previous episode was Thanksgiving, but here we are at Christmas again! "their first plane ride together" ?? okay. Even though everyone was packing for a plane ride, they didn't do the "first, third, millionth flight together" thing. I like how Maddie wanted people to think she was smarter than she was. The "got the tickets" parallel made me laugh. Wow, this is Casey's first commercial Christmas. "Gifts and gnomes are my 5th and 16th favorite things" hahaha. I loved how the parents were tricking Maddie into wrapping their gifts, haha. haha, "first boobs." Ben's mom is 65. "Ben's dad is stuck in a well" made me laugh pretty loudly! Whoa... Casey's parents' idea of a store-bought gift is a single marshmallow... dang. hahahahaha Ben actually put on the sweater, even thought Maddie figured out Mia's lie. Mia insulting Maddie's boobs was awkward. I LOVED Mia's coat!! Casey was super-corny with his "I'll run to the gift shop and buy a bunch of crap so we can have a Christmas right here" haha. oh goody... Casey has a plan... I wonder if it's similar to Jackson's "four in four" thing he sprung on Sookie.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Off season/Coming Up:

Wipeout (season 4 back January 6th)
Teen Mom (January 11th, this time featuring girls from the second season)
Hot in Cleveland (back January 19th at 10pm for 20 episodes of season 2)
Mr. Sunshine
(starts in January on ABC)
The Secret Life of the American Teenager
(not sure, probably January)
Melissa & Joey
(not sure, I'm thinking like May?)
Table for 12
(missing "summer," "busy day," "jumping in," "brace yourself," "back to school")
Futurama (Season 6 continues with episode 14 in the Spring)
South Park (season 15 in the Spring)
Cake Boss (Season 4 TBD)
19 Kids and Counting (Season 6 TBD)
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