Two Wipeouts, No Waiting...

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Note: I think I'll be giving up this show when the season ends in a few weeks. It's just not as amusing as it used to be, leaving me with less and less to say besides describing the obstacles. Anyone else finding this show to be dragging on lately?

Wipeout "Bucking Broncos and Jiggling Monkeys" (S04E26): 
The Qualifier: starts with Bucking Broncos (jump from a diving board onto a bucking bronco, then onto an unstable walkway... twice. see photo!), Driver's Ed (get across a wall with a few platforms to stand on, avoiding a pedal pushing out, spinning steering wheels, and airbags that pop out), Big Balls, Monkey Jiggalator (jump onto a shaking platform, then onto another, through a hole, and past two monkeys, then to another platform), Double Barrel (a large oval is spinning vertically. It has two circles carved out - jump into one of them and ride it around, jumping out onto a platform on the other side).  LingerieFootballPlayer comes close on the big balls.
Round 2: is Total Carnage. All contestants start on one platform. They need to jump from platform to the next in a circular pattern, all the while 10 feet above the water. There's also a sweeper coming around - one end has three spinning rings hanging from it and the other end has a crankshaft going. As per the usual, a good half of the contestants get wiped out immediately, and a bunch more a few seconds later. The crankshaft's three pieces are no longer alternating completely - they're staggered, making it more difficult. Six guys move on, which is rare.
Round 3: Wipeout Playset. Everyone rides individual slides to a spinning platform in the middle. Then, get past a few sweeper arms. After that, bounce from a diving board through a spinning windmill onto a slide to the finish. [yeah, it is a bit strange!] The first person to finish each of three heats moves on to the WipeoutZone. Finishers include TheInappropriateFan, Geologist, and TheBully.
The WipeoutZone: contains The Towering Flume of Doom (7-story plummet into the water), Iron Maze-In (vertical spinning maze - enter in the yellow, make your way through the maze, get to the red, get out), Axel of Evil (sweeper arm that comes around, you have to grab onto the spinning prongs and ride those to another platform), and the Great Wall of Fall (a wall full of pegs to cross that pop out and retract). InappropriateFan is first. He needs two attempts on both the Iron Maze-In and the Axel of Evil. He has some fancy footwork on the Great Wall of Fall, finishing at 11:31. Next up is Geologist. He gets stuck in the maze a bit, but makes it out just fine. He also takes on the Axel of Evil without any problems. He pushes through, finishing at 4:55 with everything! TheBully doesn't have a great run, especially taking three attempts on the Axel of Evil. Eventually, he just runs out of time. 

Wipeout "Ballsy's Playground" (S04E27):   [as a whole, I liked today's contestants. I thought they were pretty funny, the nicknames were amusing, and the jokes made by the Johns were hilarious.]
Qualifier: Ballsy's Playground (zipline into a foam pit, then get past a tilting/spinning merry-go-round), Driver's Ed (get across a wall that has steering wheels spinning, air bags popping out, and pedals flinging out... and only a few points to stand on), Big Balls, Jiggalator (jump onto a violently shaking platform, then onto another, then off to a steady platform), Aquatic Adventure (really the Double Barrel - vertical rotating oval with two circles cut out - you jump in one, ride around, and jump out onto a platform). [Nudist was funny on the zipline. There's a girl they describe as a high schooler... so did they film this earlier and not think through the fact they weren't airing it until the summer? or is she just going into her senior year? Because if that's the case, those digs on "Class of 2011" aren't correct...]
Round 2:  Total Carnage. Everyone stand on one platform, ten feet above the water. They have to jump from one platform to the next, but as they go they need to avoid a crankshaft that comes around, plus a trio of spinning rings. [some great wipeouts on both the crankshaft and the rings.] PhotoBomber finishes first. [he was one I would've bet on! and, apparently Dunkin' Donuts is now a sponsor of sorts...]
Round 3: Detour - get over some bouncing pedestals and sweeper arms, a rotating block, a spinning circle, and some tilty platforms. First one to make it through in each of three heats goes on.
WipeoutZone: includes the Flume of Doom (7-story plummet), Iron Maze-In (giant vertical spinning maze. enter on the yellow half, make your way through, and exit from the red half), Axel of Evil (an arm is spinning around with three rotating prongs on the end. Grab them and ride them to the next platform), The Great Wall of Fall (climb across pegs that push out and retract from a wall). DinoDan is first. He has a great Flume and a great Maze-In, though he slips on the Axel his first time. The Wall of Fall doesn't give him problems, but he falls off of the finish platform so he has a long swim back to try that obstacle again. He finishes at 6:00, which is still pretty competitive! BrokenHearted is next. [looks like she's holding her breath long before the flume even starts!] She's pretty slow in getting around and ultimately falls out to late. On her second try, she climbs in the other direction and ends up falling out AGAIN. She's quick enough on her third try, but misses the jump... and time runs out. Last is WildThang. He goes into Iron Maze-In clockwise and ends up missing the jump out. He makes it on his second try, but at that point he only has one minute to go... he makes the Axis of Evil just fine, but a fall on The Great Wall of Fall pushes his time too far.