NEW SHOW: Suburgatory

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

When I was picking which new shows I was going to watch this season, this was one of my last-minute add-ons. I wasn't in love with the concept. I wasn't thrilled with the cast. I wasn't sure how interesting it would be, but it did pique my interest so I decided to go with it. I kinda wish I hadn't. Both the pilot and the second episode have been horrific. My sister is visiting for a couple weeks and she was kind enough to watch the first two episodes to see if they were as crappy as I thought or if I was jaded... she agreed, and she's only a few years out of high school. I think this show might only get a third episode from me, then I'm giving up!

Suburgatory "Pilot" (S01E01): Tessa does an overview about the mothers of the suburbs... but she hasn't had her own urban mother for much of her life. George, her father, gets her a bicycle, but she doesn't know how to ride. [I know that some people consider this to be a tragedy, but, really, it doesn't change much.] George goes to talk to a college friend of his, who pushes things like the fake breasts. Sugar-free RedBull is the "official drink" of suburbia. [rolling my eyes...] Dahlia is Tessa's "buddy," to show her around the school. [ew to Dallas's dress!] Dahlia is Dallas' daughter, and they also live in the neighborhood. Tessa hangs out in the bathroom and witnesses some bullying, but when she tries to be nice it doesn't work. [... not a big fan of the word "vagitarian."] George and Dallas pick up Dahlia and Tessa from school and bring them to the mall. Dallas dresses Tessa in slutty clothes and says that she needs a cuter bra and some "heterosexual dress shoes." [The passive-aggressive reference books were amusing, tho!] Turns out, the bullied girl is Lisa, and she lives across the street from Tessa and George. Dallas comes over to apologize to Tessa, and gives her a bra. [cute moment I suppose. But, overall, I gotta say, I'm not a big fan of the voice-overs...]

Suburgatory "The Barbecue" (S01E02): It's a couple of weeks later, and George has been avoiding dinner invitations from the neighbors like the plague. It has come to such extremes that he forces Tessa out the door without her backpack. [what kind of parent tries to send their child to school unprepared??] But, when George gets himself caught in the door, he ends up getting roped into dinner that night. And, at the dinner, the neighbors pry into their lives. We learn that Tessa's parents separated 15 years prior and that Lisa can't have dessert for some reason. Lisa's brother, Ryan, has friends (including Dahlia) over and the neighbors force the kids all downstairs so they can grill George some more. Dahlia still calls Tessa a lesbian, and dares Ryan to kiss her. Upstairs, the neighbors try to force George to have a barbecue, so he borrows his high school friend's grill, which is apparently a big deal. [who knew? but I guess I'm accustomed to people owning grills?] Dallas tells George that Ryan and Tessa kissed. [you know, since gossip is what these folks live for...] Ryan and Tessa kiss again by the school bleachers, but Tessa quickly learns that they have nothing in common. George asks her about Ryan at dinner, which was fairly awkward. When the grill runs out of propane at the barbecue, they end up using George's small charcoal hibachi anyway. [for the title of the episode being "The Barbecue," they really only spent a few minutes there...] And, a fun fact thrown in at the end, Dallas apparently uses Yahoo! rather than Google. [...snooze...]