Suburgatory: Tessa's Teeth

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

This episode certainly did not make me want to continue with the series. And, a quick preview of the upcoming storylines confirms that this comedy is just not for me. In this episode, Fred acts beyond crazy, Tessa has an extreme paranoia after being on pain meds, Ryan confesses his hopes of a relationship with our spunky protagonist, and Dallas' idea of "the next level" is to have mutual decor with George. Gag me with a spoon, I'm waving goodbye to Chatswin!

Suburgatory "Junior Secretary's Day" (S02E09): George discovers rat droppings (really karob) in the basement, but finds Fred instead of actual vermin. See, he pretended to leave on a business trip, but in reality he didn't win "Salesman of the Year" this time and needs to hide out for a few days. [it's so weird how people are always going in and out of one another's homes in this town!] And, because it's "Junior Secretary's Day" and Fred is now just a junior secretary who is calling into work sick, George must go retrieve the flowers delivered to the Shay house before Sheila finds them. [eye roll time!] George pretends that they were mis-delivered and supposed to be "get well" flowers for Tessa, but Sheila is on to him. So, Fred pretends he took an early flight home, and, in the end, she wishes him a happy junior secretary's day. [AWKWARD!]

Tessa needs to have her wisdom teeth removed, but she's skeptical at the preventative measure. [can't blame her. I was, too.] But, when a paper on Eleanor of Aquitaine becomes an in-class assignment for the following day, Tessa decides to have the surgery after all. [haha! does she not have to make it up?] After the procedure, Tessa drools blood and is paranoid, thinking Fred is an alien, as he's covered himself in foil to ensure that Sheila doesn't read his mind. [I told you guys he was weird!] She even thinks that he stole the souls of her dad and Dallas, which is why they're now etched in crystal. [haha! In reality, Dallas had an etched crystal picture made of her and George because she wants to start leaving items at one another's houses. also, did Dallas call George "Daddy"??] She throws out the picture and later has to explain the situation to Dallas, who thought that George didn't like it. Lisa lets Ryan bring Tessa her homework, and after some hesitation, he goes over and even ties socks around her face to help her cheek pain. [I don't think I've ever seen that done for anything but the mumps, LoL.] Ryan professes his feelings for her as she begins to fall for him.

ABC/RICHARD CARTWRIGHT

Suburgatory: A Dance-Off, Chocolate Pudding, Being Average

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I really want to know what so many people love about this series! I just don't get it. So, I'm giving it one more episode to change my mind. Otherwise, I just don't see the point in continuing to watch. Noah's storylines are so yuppie that they're genuinely uninteresting and unbelievable. Lisa's investigation was interesting but Ryan's adoption has turned into a nightmare. Malik and Lisa are long over, and I don't want to see Tessa date Ryan. Dallas continues to do things that are mind-boggling, like buy Dalia a new car just for taking the PSATs. Which reminds me, do these kids instantly get their scores now? I was kinda lost there. I also don't care for the George-Dallas relationship, and because I wasn't a big fan of his dating Eden, either, I guess I just can't find a part of this show that I really want to dig into... what is it that keeps you coming back to Chatswin?

Suburgatory "Black Thai" (S02E08): Tessa gets a 186 on her PSATs and George gives her a card and some ice cream. We don't know what Dalia got, but she gets a new car with a sound system as her reward. [as a reminder, Dalia sucks at driving.]  Dallas makes Dalia feel better by pointing out that she's a better dancer than Tessa, and Dalia promptly tricks Tessa into a hip-hop dance-off. [that was weird enough, but when George and Dallas wind up having one after arguing over their parenting techniques, I was ready for this to end!] 

ABC/CARIN BAER

Ryan has moved in with Malik, and until he returns Sheila's family eats venison every night. [gross! and expensive.] When things begin to look bleak, the family kidnaps Malik in broad daylight and ransoms him for Ryan. [what??] But, they are invited to Malik's house for dinner, where "Eugene" has decided to apply for emancipation, thanks to Malik's lawyer mother. [I can't imagine helping out a kid with that when his family didn't really do anything wrong.] But, when they have chocolate pudding without skin, Eugene finally begins to miss his family and goes home to have chocolate pudding with the skin. [see, this is why I hate this show. the one thing Ryan returns home for is chocolate pudding with skin. gross!]

Noah and his wife are worried when Opus doesn't get into their first-choice daycare, so they hire Mr. Wolfe to use unconventional methods to prepare him. [because, apparently, Mr. Wolfe is awesome at preparing infants for rigorous preschool programs??] Turns out, at six months old, Opus is average, breaking his parents' hearts. [simultaneous eye roll? yeah.]

Christmas Episode Round-Up: The New Normal, The Middle, The Neighbors, Guys with Kids, Suburgatory, The Big Bang Theory, Last Man Standing, 2 Broke Girls

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

The networks really seemed to spread out their holiday episodes this year... I think it ended up being a three-week window or something (perhaps even longer if you're a Family Guy fan!), which surprised me a bit. Because of the length, I'll jump right into some overviews and then the recaps with remarks.

The New Normal: Bryan gets Jane a job; Bryan and David realize that they're stressing over the baby.

Go On: Ryan, Anne, and Steven try to miss the group's holiday party, but when Lauren panics over getting engaged, they rush back.

The Middle: Brick is in a Christmas play, Sue bakes cookies, Frankie gets a holiday job, Mike fights with Rusty, and Axl enjoys a bachelor pad in the garage.

The Neighbors: Marty and Debbie decide to go to Hawaii for Christmas, but Larry ruins that idea by opening all of their presents and ruining them.

Guys with Kids: Sheila and Chris pass back and forth her engagement ring. Emily plans a romantic evening for Gary and Marny, who decide to just drink instead.

Suburgatory: Tessa doesn't love spending Christmas with her mom, and Ryan finds out that he's adopted.

The Big Bang Theory:The girls try to get Raj a girlfriend while Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, and Stuart play a holiday version of Dungeons & Dragons.

Last Man Standing: Mike tries to get the girls to all take trips for Christmas to give Vanessa simple holiday, but then has to get them all to stay.

2 Broke Girls: Max and Caroline resort to drastic measure to make rent during the holidays.

The New Normal "Baby Proofing" (S01E11): David is over-eating because of stress, and Bryan is drinking. They confront one another but don't get anywhere. Then they hire a baby-proofer to round corners, add a baby-gate, anchor bookshelves, etc.

Neil Jacobs/NBC

Jane is back and Bryan invites her to accompany him to a Christmas party because David doesn't like them and is busy thinking of everything that could happen to the baby around the house. [people can get crazy.] Jane is afraid that she'll never be accepted and succeed in LA, so Bryan gets her a job interview. [odd little DUI checkpoint where Jane's gun is the problem.] The whole experience convinces Bryan to pour wine down the sink. Jane is told that she's old-fashioned but when she makes it clear that she knows things, she's hired. [guess she's back for the long term. boo.]

Go On "The World Ain't Over 'Til It's Over" (S01E11): [did anyone reference anything other than Jimmy V that week?? and why did they script Anne an f-word if they just bleep it out?] Fausta decorates the group room a little for Christmas but Lauren tells her that everything needs to be non-denominational. [boo.] The group holiday party will be at 8pm on December 21st, 2012, which is when Mr. K. thinks the world will end, thanks to the Mayans. [I'm kinda glad that some show decided to point out that craziness!]

Lauren is afraid that Wyatt may be ready to propose, so when Yolanda and Sonia see Wyatt at a jewelry store, they try to sabotage the proposal (tho they're mostly worried that Lauren won't have time for them anymore if she gets married). He sees right through them and mentions that he's going to pop the question at the party. [groups are not the best idea for this, guys!] Meanwhile, Ryan and Steven decide to go to Napa like old times, and Ryan decides to invite Anne along to take her mind off her graveyard issues (she's been going every single day). They'll miss the end-of-the-world party, but oh well. That is, until Sonia spills the beans to Lauren, who calls Ryan for advice. He reminisces about how Janie told him to get it together or she'd leave him. [that was kinda interesting... I should have expected it but I did not.] They then decide to rush back to LA, but by then Wyatt had already proposed in front of a snow machine, and Lauren accepted. ["Asian glow" is an enzyme thing? and how did they go from Napa to LA in just a few hours??] The episode ends with Ryan turning out the lights to when Mr. K. projected the world to end.]

Vivian Zink/NBC

The Middle "Christmas Help" (S04E09): Reverend TimTom asks Brick to be a wiseman in a play for kids, and Sue will bake the cookies for the concession stand. She calculates that she needs to bake 1200 cookies (20 cast members + 2 parents each + siblings + 1.5 grandparents + crew members + church people + 5% accidental crumblage) and gets to work right away. [this made me laugh SO HARD, guys. how did the Heck family have the money for ingredients to bake 100 dozen cookies?] Brick even gets an extra line to help cover for another wiseman and starts practicing his singing all over the place. Sue has tons of cute Santa cookies but none are selling, so she donates the bulk of them to TimTom's next project. Brick is awkward in the play, not paying attention during his lines and directing others. [but was kinda cute.] 

Frankie and Mike worry that they don't have a way to pay for Christmas presents, even with Frankie not signing her tuition check. [remind anyone of Roseanne?] She decides to get a job at a store to get a 30% discount to buy presents, but the discount doesn't count for 20 days, meaning she can't use it until Christmas Eve. [haha, figures!] She tries to get people to stay away from the items she wants to buy, then just starts hiding them around the store. [let me digress for a second... when we were in middle school, our science teacher would take us to the library for research, but you weren't allowed to check-out any books until the end of the day, because each period deserved to have a chance to access all of the same materials. so, if there was a book you really wanted for your project, you'd hide it within the library, then run there after final bell so you could grab it and check it out and make it to the bus. after a few rounds of this, though, the teacher caught on and we got a big lecture about being unfair to others, LoL!] When she tries to hide a basket of goodies on a tall shelf, someone moves the ladder while she's up there, trapping her for hours. She isn't even able to buy anything before the store closes, so they give the kids pictures of what they're getting and they utilize the post-holiday discount to load-up the next day. [which is a nice way to do things, not gonna lie.]

ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL

A third storyline going on has Mike storing some furniture for Rusty, only to later find out that it may have stolen it from a police officer with whom Rusty plays poker. [episodes with Rusty are extra weird.] After a couple of days, Axl decides to arrange it as a "pad," and even serves dinner and has a Christmas party in the garage. [reminded me a little bit of Greg Brady decorating the attic.] Mike decides that he's "done" with his brother, but TimTom encourages him to pray about it and he does. When everything gets returned, Axl is upset, but Mike realizes that he and Rusty should make up.

The Neighbors "Merry Crap-Mas" (S01E09): Marty and Debbie move wrapped presents to Larry and Jackie's home to keep them hidden. [Max gets an iPad? If Abby is six, he must only be like eight! and, Amber doesn't strike me as the snowboarding type.] When Amber wants her gifts early so that she can leave on a ski trip on Christmas Eve and Max wants to amend his list, Marty and Debbie decide to return the presents and take a trip. [whoa. I don't mind a trip in lieu of presents, but you have to plan that sort of shenanigan in advance!] The kids are unhappy about having been "nice" all year for nothing, but Debbie and Marty still go to book Hawaii. [haha, I loved the kids reacting like that.]

Meanwhile, Larry decides to open the gifts to see what they are, causing the Weavers to have no presents (they're ruined) and no trip (they can't return them for money). Larry then watches Christmas movies, trying to analyze how Santa travels the world in a single evening. [haha on Larry thinking an Etch-a-Sketch has Siri.] Abby tells Larry that Santa will fix things, so he decides to dress as Santa and make Dick his elf. [haha!] They get some strippers to be luau dancers, get a pig for roasting, and scrounge up a few presents for the kids, including an etch-a-sketch for Max. [I particularly liked the carolers!] The Weavers have no presents or tree on Christmas morning, but the Zabvronians are there! [I laughed at an elf/Tiny Tim mash-up.]

ABC/ERIC MCCANDLESS

Guys with Kids "Christmas" (S01E10): Chris and Sheila recap that they got divorced because they had a baby to fix their marriage and it didn't work. [omg that sucks.] Sheila decides to return her engagement ring at this point, but Chris doesn't want to take it, so they pass it through various means until Sheila finally admits to being responsible for their divorce because she didn't try to solve their problems. [did they change the baby who plays Ernie?]

Nick, Emily, and their kids arrive at Gary's dressed in Victorian clothes from taking their Christmas card photo.

Vivian Zink/NBC

Gary and Marny bought a new dishwasher for Christmas, which Emily finds offensive because it's not romantic and she doesn't want them to wind up like her parents. Emily decides to stage an intervention to help them spice-up their marriage, even planning an elaborate date for the couple which includes a carriage ride. They don't love it, though, so they skip to drinking. They head to Nick and Emily's, where Marny takes off her bra and puts it on their Christmas Tree, then she and Gary call the couple "Nemily" because they're too cute. [haha on "Nemily" being expanded to include anything annoying!] They go back to their place to be intimate while Nick and Emily are honest about their own relationship, realizing neither actually likes those annual carriage rides. The next morning, Marny and Gary try to put together the events of the previous night, and Emily and Nick show up to return the couple's four children.

Suburgatory "Krampus" (S02E07): Dalia misses her housekeeper and comes up with a plan to get her back. So, she decides to make a music video about how Carmen used to do all of her laundry to win her back. Of course, she's not having the greatest time working for Noah and Jill anyway, offending the mother by saying she doesn't understand her baby because she never spends time with him. [ouch! it must be extremely taxing on Carly Chaikin to hardly ever smile! Also, Wan'Er in the bridge was random. And, Dalia calling George "Daddy Altman" was odd.] Carmen sees the video and George arranges for Carmen to be in a box for Dalia to open on Christmas morning. [super odd.]

Tessa doesn't like how quick Chatswin converts to Christmas, and even George gives her the early gift of being able to spend time with her mother in Manhattan. Tessa and Alex's first hug is awkward, and Alex can't figure out how to appropriately treat her almost-adult daughter. [whoa to "Krampus is like Santa, but evil."] Tessa decides to leave the hotel in the middle of the night to head home to her dad's.

Someone at the photo shop tells Ryan that he was adopted, freaking him out to the point where he strips in the street and growls at his family's car. [Ryan is SO crazy!] Lisa tells Tessa that she spilled it to the photographer so it's her fault.

ABC/RICHARD CARTWRIGHT

Later, Malik and his family are driving down the road when he sees Ryan running around without a shirt and acting like a wild animal. [what the??] They put him in the trunk and Ryan tells Malik what happened. [Lisa's pajamas were super cute!] Lisa asks Tessa to talk to Ryan about it all, and she shares that your parents are who raised you, and she winds up kissing him. [ahhh! and, Eugene Goldfarb?]

The Big Bang Theory "The Santa Simulation" (S06E11): Leonard wants to spend Saturday night playing Dungeons & Dragons with the guys, and though Penny finds it amusing, Bernadette and Amy aren't thrilled. The three of them parade around in hot dresses to show what the guys are missing, then go out for drinks, inviting Raj when his character dies early. Raj buys the drinks because he likes to pamper ladies so much that he gives his dog foie gras. [seriously??] The girls decide to find him a woman, but it doesn't work out. Plus, Amy gets offended that he once fell for Bernadette and Penny but not her, though they are able to commiserate over how lonely and sad they are. [uh oh. I hope the writers know what they're doing here!]

At the D&D game, meanwhile... Leonard gets Sheldon a scroll (his third favorite method of after stone tablets and skywriting) that features a quest with a holiday theme. Sheldon sings "Good King Wenceslas" to get them through a room, and they later play "Jingle Bells" on handbells. [Sheldon insisting on doing all of the verses was funny.] We learn that Leonard had to leave a research paper for Santa to grade. ["C- was your gift" was harsh!] Plus, Sheldon admits that, when he was five, he went to the mall and told Santa he wants his grandfather back for Christmas. [awww.] So, he decides to let the game's Santa die, causing him a nightmare where Santa sends a canon after him. [kinda crazy, I know.] 

Eddy Chen/Warner Bros.

Last Man Standing "Putting a Hit on Christmas" (S02E07): [odd shot of living room into kitchen. and Vanessa's necklace is ugly.] Mike asks Ed for a an idea for Vanessa for Christmas, so he suggests to steal the dog, let Vanessa freak out, then bring it back and be a hero. [tale as old as time! plus, Go On kinda just did this.] Vanessa admits to Mike that she misses simple Christmases before the kids and grandchild, so he decides to use that charade with his children. Mike gets Kristin to take Boyd to Winnipeg to see his other grandparents, sends Mandy on that Cancun trip, and allows Eve to go with another family so Aspen. Of course, there are problems along the way that he has to solve, like reuniting one of Mandy's friends with her cheating boyfriend and firing Eve from her holiday job as a gift-wrapper at the store. But, Eve figures out what's going on and cuts a deal - no questions about her next report card, as she's getting a D in art. [I hope we focus on that again at some point!]

ABC/CARIN BAER

Mike gives Boyd a snowglobe that plays "Little Drummer Boy," Vanessa's favorite carol. This gets her sad over missing everyone, so Mike makes everyone cancel their plans, reuniting them and looking to be a hero. [Kristin's tickets were refundable and Mandy's are good for a year??] Vanessa even decides to invite Ryan's parents to Denver.

Elsewhere, Ed accidentally shoots a bald eagle and tells Mike and Kyle. Ed and Kyle go to dispose of it, but the bird ends up still being alive. [this was kinda just filler, I feel.]   

2 Broke Girls "And the High Holidays" (S02E12): The girls don't have the money to pay their shoppe's rent, but Caroline doesn't want Andy to know. [typical.] Max has been doing "cupcake runs" at 2am, selling munchies to druggies. [awesome that her dealer tips her off! his name is Kieffer. Teen Mom 2, much? also, um... I don't think that California passed the marijuana bill, so was this taped pre-election and not changed?] Caroline thinks maybe it'll work out because there aren't drugs in the cupcakes, but after she witnesses a meth bust, she changes her mind, worrying that she'll get in trouble just by knowing about someone using. [haha.] Caroline won't ask Andy for money, so the girls try to evade their landlord by going out the bathroom window. Well, it turns out that Max got a big bag of pot from her dealer as a Christmas present, and when it accidentally pours into a pot, she makes drug cupcakes after all. [holy cow!] Caroline continues to be paranoid as Sophie come over and devours some, but then they feed them to their other friends as well, for thanks when they give them the money to make rent. [Oleg ($100), Earl ($50), and Han ($350)]

Darren Michaels/Warner Bros.

Max makes some calls and the girls go to a party to unload the goodies at $15 apiece. But, surprise! Andy shows up at the party to smoke weed, and Caroline goes out the window. [crazy antics!]

Also, we see the girls hosting a children's party where the kids threw frosting everywhere.

Cupcakery Total: $100.00. [finally! back to being poor!]

Suburgatory: Dalia Does a Favor, Lisa Annoys Tessa

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I'm still not a fan of Dallas and George. Her "faking" was very annoying for me, as was how flippant Dalia can be from one moment to the next. It was semi-interesting to have the Ks follow around someone else for a change, but I don't think it lasted long enough to be truly intriguing. Additionally, Tessa is just too good at heart sometimes and it's driving me crazy. Oh, and Tessa has a Microsoft Surface, in case you missed it. I'm not sure how you could have, because the entire episode of "Friendship Fish" was a love-fest with the tablet. Not that I have a problem with it (I accompanied two friends to the Microsoft Store the morning they went on sale), but I thought it was so forced I was laughing at times. Did you find it as contrived as I did?

Suburgatory "Foam Finger" (S02E04): Dallas repeats a crazy entrance to impress George... including a gospel choir! After kissing, Dallas claims that she's had an orgasm and is tuckered out. [um... WHAT??] They decide to take Tessa and Dalia to Chinese to tell them about their new relationship, and though Tessa takes it well, Dalia is secretly upset. She's got a lot of issues, though, as her father and Wan'Er eloped. Dallas is so hurt, in face, that she decides to help a geek with a magic trick, but Tessa helps break that up and gets Dalia's hair back to blond from the brunette she had dyed it to match the bride's. [this was a screwy storyline that was made worse by Dalia and Tessa only getting along in a "when I need you, be there. otherwise, stay away" relationship. and what was with that Jewish ritual to Evan's picture??]

 ABC/ADAM TAYLOR

After Dallas spreads the news that George is great in bed, he tries to correct the guys in the locker room, then tells her that they need to be real... so they get to it.

 ABC/ADAM TAYLOR

While Dalia is off being emo (having told the Ks that she's going to Singapore for her father's second wedding), her posse flocks to Tessa, who pawns them off on Lisa. [all because Tessa told them not to walk in the street?? get real!]

Suburgatory "Friendship Fish" (S02E06): Dallas gives George a makeover, just before his friends from Manhattan show up. [at least he didn't wind up looking like Noah!] After he serves them diet grapefruit spritzers, they question what he's been up to. [yeah, I would, too.] He talks about installing skylights as his main line of work now, and they call him a "Real Housewife," so they go to dinner so George can try to act tough once more. [haha!] The guys keep talking about how fake everything is around there, and Fred and Noah show up to act like George's posse. [Grease is the best that Fred can do? mashing the male AND female roles of the 50s??] Theo and Cyrus are not impressed by Dallas, either, and George winds up leaving the dinner early. [If George went to college with Theo, wouldn't he also known Noah? or wouldn't that at least be a talking point?] Dallas suggests that George get them back by under-cutting their bid on a big upcoming project, but it doesn't work out.

Lisa and Malik's breakup was messy, and while he's willing to talk things out, she just wants her scrunchies back. [oh, Lisa!] Lisa is lonely and decides to spend time with Tessa, bringing a trunk of "sleepover essentials," like stuff to scrapbook, airbrush, and tie-dye... as well as a dead fish she got at summer macrame camp. Legend has it that if two people partake of the same fish, they'll be friends forever, and Lisa has been smoking the fish with an electric smoker in her bedroom closet for four weeks. [holy.cow.] After stalling as long as she could (carving watermelon helmets and airbrushing t-shirts),Tessa is momentarily saved from eating the fish when a caricaturist shows up and does a drawing of the girls. [I didn't get that... Lisa had arranged for a caricaturist to do random drawings??] To save herself, Tessa calls Sheila anonymously as a fire marshal, so Lisa has to leave. [hahaha!] But, Tessa comes clean the next day, and they eat some of the fish... which lands Tessa in the hospital with food poisoning. [Tessa is so sweet it's ridiculous.] When the hospital couldn't reach George, Tessa's grandmother, Helen, is called, and she's worried that Tessa needs her more than she thought. [not sure that adding her as a recurring character is going to work for me. what do you think?]

Thanksgiving Roundup: The Middle, The Neighbors, Suburgatory, Go On, Ben and Kate, The New Normal, Guys with Kids

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Happy Thanksgiving! If you're up early watching the parade, cooking, or preparing for football, we thought you'd like a nice run-down of some of this year's new Thanksgiving episodes. You can find several of them online, so if you need a break later on today (and don't want to watch more traditional holiday programming), consider giving some of these a try. First, the nutshell reviews and then the full recaps with remarks. 

The Middle: Everyone loves a great love story, and this episode has Brick enjoying a book about Love Story, Axl starting a new relationship, and Frankie's parents re-living their first date.

The Neighbors: The Weavers deal with having the Bird-Kersees over for the holiday while entertaining Marty's parents as well. In addition, Larry has to come to terms with Jackie's rebellious sisters.

Suburgatory: Tessa heads to Manhattan to see her mother and grandmother for the holiday, but her mother is nowhere to be found. When she returns home to a motley crew of recurring characters in her home, she is greeted by her long-lost mother as well.

Go On: The group decides to have Thanksgiving together, and Ryan decides to host it at the radio station because a) he's working and b) he wants to keep Steven from moving in on a potential love interest.

Ben and Kate: The night before Thanksgiving is a high school reunion for multiple grade levels, allowing Ben and Tommy to be cool kids once more while Kate (who is now on boyfriend-girlfriend level with Will) struggles to confront a bully.

The New Normal: David, Bryan, Goldie, and Rocky all have painful past experiences with Thanksgiving but decide to invite their families to celebrate together for the future of the baby. Things don't go as planned and each guest is booted from the event anyway.

Guys with Kids: Sheila wants to host for Chris and all of his friends' families while Gary is obsessed with purchasing a TV on Black Friday.

The Middle "Thanksgiving IV" (S04E08): [I thought it was funny that Frankie won't pay ten cents per bag at the grocery store so she carries everything herself.] Axl continues to flirt with his tutor, Cassidy. His foot also healed two weeks quicker than expected, so he's excited to get back on the field for the big game. But, his tutor says that football is a waste, causing Axl to wonder what he's doing. He decides to not let fear get in his way and he confesses to Cassidy that he likes her, inviting her to watch him play. [interesting... is Axl maturing?] But, her boyfriend is coming into town so she can't. He tries to cover by acting like he's inviting everyone to the game. [this reminded me of the first time my now-husband ever called me...] Meanwhile, the mascot head has been stolen by a rival school and Sue recruits Brad to help her get it back. Brad tries to have a "dance fight" but he gets beat up. [yep!] Sue tries to make a head on her own, but when that doesn't work she winds up wearing a bear head to the game. [I found it odd that nobody else really got involved with this plotline.] Axl overthinks playing and fumbles three times, so Sue gives him a pep-talk and he gets it together. [and we're supposed to believe that he listens to her now? wow, maybe he IS growing up!] Things end well for him as a scout reminds him that East Indiana really wants him AND Cassidy kisses him, telling her she broke up with her boyfriend. 

ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL

Now, the dinner-part of Thanksgiving... Frankie wants to host a couple of marines and is incredibly awkward about it, even saying the Pledge of Allegiance before Thanksgiving dinner. [ha!] Her parents make things worse when her father keeps droning on about nutrition (he lost four pounds recently). Things go so haywire at dinner that the Marines leave before dessert! 

The Neighbors "Thanksgiving is for the Bird-Kersees" (S01E08): [loved the early Marty line: "What could be more American than eating food to make room for more food?"] Jackie is profoundly depressed because she misses her sisters, who were exiled ten years ago for trying to overthrow Larry. [what was up with that crop-circle-like design??] Dick and Reggie decide to go visit the prisoners and invite them to Thanksgiving. Against his better judgment and sense of self-preservation, Larry does decide to let them be free once again. [though I hope that they're not going to be regulars!]

Marty is excited about Thanksgiving because he thinks he'll be able to impress his parents for once, but Debbie is stressed because she always gets criticized over her cooking. Marty suggests that they un-invite his parents and do things their way, and he makes up a lie about how the oven is broken. [...really?] But, as his parents begin to think that his new house is too small, he decides to let them come to show that he's doing well. [I'm surprised that Debbie isn't more upset about Marty's cowardice there!] But, they'll still be doing a deep-fried turkey. When the duo arrive, Marty's father doesn't even want a tour of the house while his mother gives the children hand-knit sweaters. [yeesh!] After Marty's mother starts in on everything about Debbie, her house, and her children, she stands up for herself and Marty defends her as well, sending his mother to sulk in the car. Dick decides to help by talking to Marty's mother about "changing the game" and not forcing mothers-in-law to keep their daughters-in-law "on their toes." [odd coming from Dick.] When she comes in, she actually compliments Debbie on her turkey, though everyone else dislikes it. 

ABC/PETER "HOPPER" STONE

Suburgatory "The Wishbone" (S02E05): Tessa wants to spend Thanksgiving with her mother in Manhattan. But, George plans to go to Dallas's for Thanksgiving this year, though without costumes. Dalia wants a Caribbean theme, but after Dallas finds out that Tessa won't be there, she decides to fire the chef and cook herself to "rally around" George. [um, I smell disaster!] But, George tries to cook and ruins potatoes trying not to have to pay "guest Alan" for advice. [I did think that $8 was a bit steep for a small pinch of advice! and, Carmen took the baby to see a witch doctor??]

Over at Lisa's, she's freaking out over how close Malik is getting to the family when Sheila invites him for Thanksgiving. Malik played touch-football with his family so he takes a shower when he gets there, but Sheila winds up seeing him naked, distressing Lisa more. 

ABC/ADAM TAYLOR

In Manhattan, Alex, Tessa's mother, is a no-show. She was supposed to bring the main course, so Tessa leaves early. When she gets home, Alex is there, initially thinking that Dalia is Tessa. [ha!] George is pretty upset that Alex didn't do what she was supposed to, but after some initial shock, Tessa and Alex talk. [the fake-snoring thing was awkward.]

Go On "Dinner Takes All" (S01E09): The group decides to have Thanksgiving together. ["Peter? sweetie, that's low self-esteem!" was hilarious! and cute The Brady Bunch moment with the heads!] Amy, a girl Ryan and Steven knew in college, is in town for a job interview and is staying with Ryan. [can we keep Lauren Graham, please? love her!] Amy and Ryan try to joke with Steven about how he doesn't know sports. But, Steven and Ryan both have feelings for her, and because of a broken fold-out couch, they share Ryan's bed, which makes him uncomfortable. [I bet!] So, when Steven announces that he's going to take Amy to Santa Barbara for Thanksgiving, Ryan decides that he should host Thanksgiving at the office and make his assistant do the cooking. [I thought that was rude, even for him!]

Ryan orders the group to create a de-sexualized atmosphere, but things get awkward quickly when Lauren offends Owen's mother and several of the others start bothering Amy. [Ann's two adopted children adoring Ryan wasn't as funny as I think it should have been.] Ryan decides to confront Steven, asking him to step aside because he might want to make a move in the future. So, they go to a bar and play an old game of see-how-many-sips-of-other-people's-drinks-you-can-take-before-getting-punched. [seriously? has anyone heard of anything like this before?] Ryan wins, almost breaking the ten-drink barrier. Ryan admits to Amy what's going on, and she tells him he has no chance with her right now - she won't be the first one after Janie, though she's always had feelings for him. [meh. I thought that was a weak way to end it... some far-off-future nonsense?]

(Photo by: Colleen Hayes/NBC)

Ben and Kate "Reunion" (S01E07): Ben and Tommy rescue a live turkey from the mall (people were bidding on it to eat for Thanksgiving) and Kate decides to let them keep it, though they later drop it off at a preserve.

Kate and Ben's high school reunion is the night before Thanksgiving, and Kate isn't looking forward to it because there was a girl who made her life miserable. [such an informal reunion! and I'll never understand how the multiple-grades thing plays on TV, with the exception of teeny schools like on Wings.] Will decides to go and help Kate "slay the dragon." [Kate AND Ben played Jesus Christ in Jesus Christ Superstar? how often did their school do that musical??] It's been eight years and Kate isn't thrilled with where she is in life, so she's not thrilled when the mean girl plays innocent.

Cr: Jennifer Clasen/FOX

Will tries to get the girls to do a sing-off, but Kate doesn't think she needs to prove anything. [um, okay?] She decides to brag about her awesome boyfriend, and that's the end of it. Plus, Tommy wants to make an entrance at the reunion, and resorts to asking Maddie for ideas. [not sure why this happened.] She suggests that he "lose the fro." Luckily, he doesn't go through with it.

Perhaps the bigger story, however, is that Ben and BJ got married seven years ago and kate doesn't know. Ben wants to tell because mail is coming to her house addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Ben Fox," but BJ thinks that the appropriate window has passed and they should just keep it a secret forever. Well, BJ decides to break the news during Kate's Thanksgiving toast... being even more honest than Ben expected. He thought it was a green-card-marriage when really BJ has dual citizenship but made Ben marry her so that he'd be around if Kate needed him, as he was going to head to Indonesia right when Kate became  pregnant. [I understand how this is supposed to be sweet, but it's a bit too odd.] 

The New Normal "Pardon Me" (S01E09): Goldie, Rocky, and the guys dish about how they don't like their family Thanksgivings so they decide to start their own traditions. [haha, Rocky wants to charge for the time spent having Thanksgiving with them!] Bryan and Shania go to get a turkey but didn't know that they'd have to choose a live one and kill it themselves, so they buy them all to liberate them, keeping them as pets. [what kind of theme is this??] After David's mother gives him a guilt trip, Shania suggests that everyone bury the hatchets and invite their families, including Goldie's grandmother, Shania's dad, Rocky's half-brother, and David's parents. [nobody for Bryan? I laughed at Jane as "the last real American, along with Newt Gingrich."] David's parents get through a fight and then get wild with one another. Then, Clay goes to hit Rocky's brother when he realizes that the guy has had a relationship going with Goldie for some time now.

(Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC)

Plus, Jane flips at the idea of a meatless Thanksgiving (they're having tofurkey at Shania's request) and goes hunting the backyard turkeys with a cleaver. [seriously??] All of the extra folks get kicked out, the tofurkey is terrible, and the core group orders pizza, deciding that they'll deal with families on Christmas but keep Thanksgiving sane in the future.  

Guys with Kids "Thanksgiving" (S01E09): Gary has decided that six months is too long to go without a television, so he plans to spend three days in line to get a Black Friday ultra-deal: a $4,000 television for $100. [say WHAT?? also, my brother will be spending the holiday in a similar situation, so I don't fault people who choose to do so.] Marny isn't upset that he could miss Thanksgiving with the family because she thinks he'll quickly wimp out. He starts out as the second person in line, but nobody will huddle with him and he gets upset. Marny tries to reason with him after one night on the street, but no dice. By Thursday, Gary has made peace with the cold by swapping spots with someone to be on top of a heating event - still keeping him sixth in line. Still, there's some fierce competition. 

Photo by: NBC

It's Ernie's first Thanksgiving so Sheila and Chris decide to celebrate together, at her place. [um, his birthday has already happened, so how is this his first one? perhaps he was in the NICU or something and didn't celebrate out of the hospital? or maybe the episodes were meant to be aired in a different order?] To make things less awkward, Chris invites Gary, Nick, and their families, having to cash-in a favor to get Nick and Emily to change their plans. Sheila wants to make a big fuss and theme everything, choosing to go for "historically accurate," complete with a boiled cod instead of turkey, no alcohol, no Oreo pie, and maple sap-soaked hickory nuts. [wow. that's worse than the Pilgrim-inspired meal on Everybody Loves Raymond! and what was Emily's outfit??] Yoda and Clark give the adults advice on how to get rid of the host's food and eat something else, but Sheila catches them snacking on stuffing in Emily's bag. [I didn't understand why the adults couldn't come up with a plan themselves... hiding food isn't new!!] Sheila freaks out and throws everything from the table out the window before she realizes that this group is so casual that she doesn't need to impress them. [her insults during this process were pretty intense.] Marny decides that they should all join Gary, and Sheila brings Subway sandwiches for everyone. [seriously, she wants them to pay her back??] When the doors open, Gary sicks his older kids on slowing down others, allowing him to actually get the big-screen!

Fun Friday: Character Demographics This Season

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

For seventeen years now, GLAAD has been tracking the number of LGBT characters in scripted programming. You can see their entire report here, which is full of fantastic facts and figures. I wanted to share some highlights, though, as the numbers are pretty interesting.

Their estimate for the 2012-2013 television season (defined as any show premiering 6/1/12-5/31/13) is that 4.4% (of 701, meaning 31) of all regular characters (on new shows and returning shows) on the five major networks are LGBT. An additional 19 recurring characters are LGBT as well. Cable adds another 35 regulars and 26 recurring.

Where We Are On TV 2012-2013 Season
http://www.glaad.org/files/whereweareontv12.pdf

For comparison, they counted only 1.1% of all regular characters on network programming being LGBT in 2007.

Some other facts from the report that stood out to me:

- Women make up 45% of television characters this season.

- Of the network LGBT characters, 61% are gay men, 20% are lesbian women, 14% bisexual women, and 4% bisexual men. On cable, 49% are gay men, 27% are lesbian women, 15% are bisexual women, and 8% are bisexual men. Of the cable LGBT characters, 4% are transgender, a category not addressed yet this year on network TV.

- Glee and True Blood tie for the highest number of LGBT characters at six each!

- Showtime has 12 regular LGBT characters, the highest of any cable network.

- The CW only had one LGBT character at the start of the 2011 season, but now they have four. Speaking of The CW, 83% of their characters are white. (For comparison 72% of NBC's characters are white.) Latinos are specifically under-represented, with only 4% of the characters on network programming being Latino, despite the US being 16% Latino!

- Last year, only five LGBT characters were "people of color," (POC) but this year there are 14.

- The only network shows this year to have LGBT POC are Bones, Don't Trust the B---- in Apt. 23, Emily Owens, MD, Glee, The Good Wife, Grey's Anatomy, The LA Complex, Malibu Country, The Office, Smash, and Suburgatory. Four are Latino, three are Asian/Pacific Islander, and seven are Black.

- On cable, LGBT POC can be found on Anger Management, Army Wives, Enlightened, House of Lies, Major Crimes, Pretty Little Liars, Single Ladies, Superjail!, Teen Wolf, True Blood, and White Collar.

- The number of disabled characters (a population we've looked at before) decreased this year, to just four - one on each of the four largest networks. GLAAD counts characters with "non-apparent disabilities such as cancer or HIV/AIDS" (as does the ADA). [Because the number is so low, I'll name them for those interested: Dr. Robbins on Grey's Anatomy is an amputee, CSI has a character using prosthetic legs, Parenthood has a character with Asperger's, and Artie on Glee uses a wheelchair. Dr. Robbins will be one of only two LGBT characters with disabilities, the other is the diabetic Thor on Nurse Jackie.]

How do these numbers compare with what you thought they were or where you think they should be? 

For starters, I know that I was surprised to see there were shows featuring six LGBT characters, and I'm surprised at how many of the depicted LGBT characters are white.  

Suburgatory: George & Dallas, Ryan & Tessa

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

One of the things that many critics like about this show is that they leave plotlines dangling forever, despite the fact that it's a comedy, not a drama. Tessa still yearns to be back in New York, Lisa's been dealing with her family's preference of Ryan over her since the series began, Dallas has had the hots for George for about a year, and Dalia still rules the "K" girls as much as she ever did. But, I'm not digging all of that. I could care less about whether Lisa tells Ryan that he's adopted or Ryan starts dating Tessa. I'm not a fan of inner-neighborhood romance at all, so that includes George and Dallas as well. I'd like to see more of Mr. Wolfe, and perhaps Malik could receive some more screen time as well. I'm not in love with this season but I can't seem to quit this show... who has thoughts to sway me one way or the other?

Suburgatory "Ryan's Song" (S02E03): Dalia consoles Dallas as the latter freaks out about going on a date with George, a man much plainer than her usual. [you're KIDDING me with that entrance Dallas made!] Dallas makes it clear that she doesn't want to be disappointed because she's bad at hiding it - he suggested a charcuterie for dinner but she wants lobster. At the restaurant, George learns that Dallas has invited her life coach to join them, and though the evening is a bit harried, the couples does decide to give the relationship a try. [I don't see this ending in anything other than disaster, guys!]

Noah is panicked about losing his nanny and is planning to give her pearls for her two-week anniversary, plus take her out for an opera. George and Noah both think it's a bad idea for Tessa to babysit for Opus, but she's fine until she finds out that the alarm system is broken and the lights are on a timer. [she shouldn't set a baby seat on a couch!] When a creepy guy comes to the door, claiming to be an "electrical strangler," she decides to hide out in the bathroom.

Meanwhile, Lisa is extra-nice to Ryan around the house, but Sheila tells her not to treat him any differently or he'll realize that something's up. [well, yeah.] Lisa then gives Ryan her room, but he asks her to set him up with Tessa. [if you give a mouse a cookie...] Lisa arranges for him to help Tessa babysit, but he says that he thinks he's dying, and thinks that's why Lisa is being nice to him. [haha! not a strong enough scene to warrant the episode's title, though.] They kiss after Ryan stops Opus from crying, and Ryan goes home to thank Lisa. [boooooorrrrrrrrring!]

ABC/RICHARD CARTWRIGHT

Halloween 2012: The Middle, The Neighbors, Suburgatory, South Park, Guys with Kids, The Big Bang Theory, 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Ben and Kate

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Although a couple of shows have yet to air their Halloween-inspired episodes because of multiple pre-empting conditions, I wanted to go ahead and give you guys recaps of all of the Halloween episodes I've seen this year. [except The Simpsons, who did theirs really early.] The episodes below appear in the order in which they aired. When shows like Go On and The New Normal finally run theirs, they'll be posted separately.

It's an interesting year for television in that I can't remember the last time that so many different shows actually featured Halloween episodes! I was pretty excited, actually, as they kept showing up in the descriptions on my DVR. One can only hope that Thanksgiving and Christmas will also bring us such festive storylines, but we'll see!

The Middle "Halloween III: The Driving" (S04E06): Brick tells the school that his mother isn't working so she's available to volunteer at the school Halloween carnival. [I find it hilarious that the Hecks don't have Called ID with all of the people they try to avoid!] Though Frankie winds up having to bring home a bunch of extra goldfish, she is able to get Mrs. Donahue to agree to take Brick trick-or-treating. [...what did they do with the fish?] The kid returns home with a huge Halloween haul - about 500 pieces! [holy moly!]

ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL

Frankie wants to send most of it to the soldiers overseas, so she tells him he can only keep it for 24 hours. [except she's TOTALLY the type of mother who would keep it for herself instead.] In true childhood fashion, Brick manages to eat ALL OF IT in that time period. He winds up acting semi-normal for a few days, very focused and social, only to crash from the sugar eventually. [but with Mike and Frankie now aware of this "trick," I can see them employing it more often than "special occasions"!]

Sue has her learner's permit, but is taking her time getting ready to drive an actual car, wasting time picking out a keychain and practicing puttering around the house. She freaks out on both Frankie and Mike, saying that they rush her, but on her third try things get worse - she runs over Axl's foot and is so distraught that Mike eventually has to throw her from the car and back up so the tire is no longer on Axl! [omg that's terrible!] Oh, and by the way, Axl is really taking his new responsibility as a registered voter seriously, so when both of his parents aren't home on Election Day (and he can't drive because of a broken foot), Sue manages to pull herself together and drives him to the polls (with Aunt Edie riding along to be the "adult supervision"). [good for Sue!]

The Neighbors "Halloween-ween" (S01E05): The Weavers have always wanted to take their children trick-or-treating in a neighborhood instead of an apartment building, so they're pretty psyched about the houses in the area. [Christmas! Thanksgiving! Halloween! was cute.] Max and Marty being Nemo and Marlin while Abby is being Rapunzel. Amber was the financial collapse last year and will be Obamacare this year, though the pun is for Debbie's sake - Amber is really doing Sexy Nurse. But, when Max and Abby talk about Halloween on the school bus, a girl invites him to trick-or-treat with her, so he wants to go as a zombie to fit in.

ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL

The Zabvronians are paranoid about people coming into the community on Halloween, so they set-up scarecrows and prepare for an invasion. Jackie asks the Weavers to teach everyone in the neighborhood about Halloween. Larry is skeptical, especially of weapons. When they open their gates to trick-or-treaters, the community panics, taking shelter at Larry's. He eventually decides to answer the door for a little girl, gives her a piece of candy, and then tells everyone to go ahead home to answer their doors. [Jackie as Effie Trinket?]

Meanwhile, Reggie wants to get in on Amber's costume, but he was thinking "Death Penalty" until she tells him to go as Sexy Doctor. This falls through because he dresses as a sexy nurse, plus Debbie and Marty are sad that Amber has "gone slutty" instead of topical. Their hands are still full, however, as they take Dick along, and he   dresses as Debbie (someone he admires), complete with a Marty puppet. [he NAILS it! that was hilarious and got better as time went on!] In the end, Amber and Reggie bail on a party and join the Weavers, who have reunited because Abby wants her parents to help her scam adults and Max wants to avoid Emma because she wants them to be boyfriend-girlfriend. [not the funniest ever but some poignant moments and a great bunch of Debbie/Marty jokes!]

Suburgatory "The Witch of East Chatswin" (S02E02): Dallas goes to the Country Club Halloween Party as Barbie, planning to get George to be her Ken. But, he doesn't think he can pull off the look, so she decides to take Dalia as Skipper. [hahaha! I'm glad to hear that Skipper still exists. I think Tutti/Todd, Stacie, Kelly, Chelsea, and Krissy have all faded, LoL.] George thinks about going as Jerry Seinfeld, but he can't do the jokes, so he decides to go as Noah after learning his best friend is shadowing him to get the mannerisms and voice accurate enough to go as him! [is this a thing? going as your friends? between these guys and Dick going as Debbie on The Neighbors, I'm not sure what's going on here.] At the party, The guys are shocked at how differently they're treated as one another. Dalia tells George about how her mother wanted to go to the party with him, and he decides to confront Dallas and ask her out.

ABC/ADAM TAYLOR

"It's Stripper Shoe Season!" After Tessa tries to get Dalia and her friends to not objectify themselves this year, she thinks that someone is following her, even planting a creepy book in her backpack. [it was a bit odd, let's not lie.] Sheila burns the book, saying it's from "a witch," a girl who took shop class, opened her own pudding cups, and ruined a doll. [why does Tessa have an office in the school bathroom at this point??] Tessa decides to seek out this "witch," and runs when she sees a "coven of witches" over a cauldron. [I liked Tessa as Daphne, Lisa as Velma, and Malik as Fred for the Scooby-Doo gang. Ryan also dressing as Fred was only slightly funny.] Turns out, Paula was just running a book club, and she tells Tessa that she's also into female empowerment. [haha, Chatswin sees witches and feminists as the same.] Sheila leads a mob towards them, but Paula disappears. [does Tessa have a new friend as well as a new cloak? hmmmm...] Tessa realizes that her mother was a brave feminist to "leave the world that was thrust upon her,"though George doesn't see it that way. [and, neither do I.]
 
South Park "A Nightmare on Facetime" (S16E12): Randy buys a Blockbuster, still full of DVDs and BluRays. He makes the family work with him, and nobody comes the first two days that they're open. You get the feeling that renting DVDs is so antiquated that young children no longer know what it means. By the fifth day, someone comes in to rent Turner and Hooch... but it turns out to be a ghost... the first of many. The next day is Halloween, but Randy won't let Stan join his friends to celebrate. [Butters as a were-prechuan was great, but I should have seen Jimmy as Gangnam Style in advance!] Stan is to be the Captain America to go along with Kyle as Thor, Cartman as the Hulk, and Kenny as IronMan. But, using iPads, Stan trick-or-treats via FaceTime, moving forward on a skateboard somehow. [I didn't like how that part wasn't explained.] People don't get that Cartman is the Hulk, thinking he's Honey Boo Boo or Bruce Vilanch or Chas Bono. [so odd! I feel like it's really easy to guess, especially in the context of the other kids!]

photo courtesy: Comedy Central

The kids decide to try stopping a convenience store robbery, but when there are more villains than they expected (and a dead cashier), they split, but Stan-via-Facetime is captured and tortured, via scratching the glass. [odd. funny. kinda suck. interesting all around!] The bad guys dump the iPad in a field, where a couple finds it and brings it to the hospital. Stan explains that the robbers are going to the Monster Mash at the community center, and he goes "in disguise" as GangamStein. [loved the jokes about the "Monster Mash," and everyone dressed as Gangnam Style is funny.] Meanwhile, at Blockbuster, Randy talks to an employee ghost, then goes after the family, taking over Stan's FaceTime until he's thoroughly shot. [this was too weird.] The battery dies before Stan can help the Avengers win the costume contest, Shelly burns down the video store, and we're back to status quo by the end. 

Guys with Kids "Apartment Halloween" (S01E06):  The building's co-op president died, and the new president, Linda, takes down all of Nick and Emily's Halloween Haunted Hallway decorations. ["what do I look like, the grim reaper?" was weak. cute change in font for the credits, tho.] But, she's really into Chris (immediately giving him extra storage space for no reason), so Nick and Sheila decide to team-up and use Chris to get what they want - Halloween decor for him and permission to alter the apartment for her. Sheila and Nick set up Chris with Linda, saying that they'll only be friends if he helps them, so he turns it around and forces them to share food and hug, like real friends would. [hahaha!] However, all bets are off when it seems that Linda wants Chris to dress like her father. In a possible future storyline, Emily and Sheila both proposed to run for co-op president next time.

(Photo by: Vivian Zink/NBC)

Because the now-dead president was Gary and Marny's neighbor, they want to buy that apartment and expand their own place... but it has to be on the market for a week before a current tenant can buy it. [is this a common rule?] The family goes crazy trying to get people to hate the apartment by spreading a story about how the previous tenant died via explosion, and her body was eaten by ants for two weeks before it was found. [gruesome!] Of course, this winds up backfiring when the boys are scared to live there because of the stories, and the lights mysteriously flicked off when the family was taking a look at the place. [I was only half on-board with this plotline. If the family is to expand, I wouldn't do it so early in the series!]

The Big Bang Theory "The Holographic Excitation" (S06E05): Raj offers to help Stuart throw his 9th annual Halloween party, going so far as to theme the menu, "foods that go bump in the night," to include "Halloweenies" and "Draculoni and Cheese." [a little cheesy but I like the concept.] Raj goes as Indian Jones, Bernadette and Howard go as Smurfs, Penny goes as a sexy cop, Leonard goes as Einstein, and Stuart goes as Willy Wonka. Amy asks Sheldon to dress in a couples costume, and he agrees a bit readily, though he wants R2D2 and C3PO to her Romeo & Juliet or Cinderella & Prince Charming. [other ideas included Hewlett & Packard, Batman & Robin, Jobs & Wozniak, Kirk & Spock, Arhtur Dent and Ford Prefect, The Doctor & a Dalek, Salt & Pepper, Raggedy Ann & Andy, and Dharma & Greg. You can figure out who suggested which!] In the end, Amy goes as Raggedy Anne and Sheldon as Raggedy C3PO, which is a robot with a wig. [funny and disturbing.]

Warner Bros.

Howard gives out autographed, framed photos of himself in his NASA suit, leading Leonard and Sheldon to see if they can talk about any single topic without Howard bringing up his space trip, but it's not working. [haha at Sheldon shaking Leonard's p0wn fist!] Bernadette decides to try telling Howard that he shouldn't bring it up in every single conversation, but he's bummed out until Raj sends Howard a video of Buzz Aldrin handing out candy (Milky Ways and Moon Pies!) to trick-or-treaters, telling each child he went to space.

Penny goes to Leonard's lab to see him work on a hologram that you can move with your hands, and they end up getting frisky. The next thing he shows her is a levitation thing (through magnets), with the same result. [okay, so they're definitely together, got it.]

Mockingbird Lane (Special): [note that I'm calling this a special, though technically it's a pilot to 1313 Mockingbird Lane, which may never see the light of day again.] On a camping trip, a bear snatches a couple of scouts and the rest run to the car for the night. In the morning, young Eddie is out there, and the situation causes the family to move unexpectedly to 1313 Mockingbird Lane, a condemned home that was scheduled to be torn down because a serial killer took out his aggression on hobos there. [creepy! also, this appears to be in the San Francisco area... interesting.] Movers deliver rats, which combine to form Grandpa. [um, what??] Smoke comes out of an accompanying box to showcase Lily, who calls upon spiders to wrap her dress. [neat!] Herman and Lily talk about Eddie's "baby bear attack" and think that two more rounds will happen (every 29 days?) before he becomes majorly suspicious. But, Lily winds up talking about how she tries not to eat things but sometimes it happens, and Herman explains that Eddie WAS the baby bear... though he's really a werewolf. Eddie is freaked out, as he had just decided that he didn't even want to eat meat anymore. [I felt that scene came out of nowhere... perhaps something was cut?] To help the boy cope, his parents get him a pet dragon to help protect him from eating anything the next time it happens. [is it partially invisible?]

Herman collapses as his heart gives out from loving too hard. [awww. #firstworldproblem?] Grandpa puts in a new one but Herman demands the old one be put back inside, only to later need a transplant... from another person. Enter Steve, who is the pack leader of Eddie's new scout troop and has no family. Grandpa invites him over with the intention of devouring him, which Eddie knows because he has seen his grandfather transform into a pterodactyl of sorts to eat a mountain lion. Sure enough, Steve's heart is put into Herman and Grandpa drinks the blood. [creepy!]

Photo by: Jordin Althaus/NBC

We also learn that Grandpa can pause time at the snap of a finger when he and Marilyn (a cousin) take some cookies (into which Grandpa put blood) to the neighbors. 

Ben and Kate "Scaredy Kate" (S01E06): BJ wants Kate to be wh0rish for Halloween, and she decides to go for it when a neighbor is throwing a party. So, she foes as a Babe Ruth / Bader Ginsberg mix, with a sluttier baseball costume underneath. With BJ's coaxing, she even kisses the host immediately. But, she realizes that she's not being herself, leaves, and on her way home meets a guy with whom she has a lot in common, and they call the police over the party noise. [I understand that Kate is supposed to be an incredible goody-goody (hello, massive emergency kit?), but this storyline was very curtailed, I thought.] She also manages to finally scare Ben by pretending that a razor blade cut up her mouth. [gotta admit, that was a bit horrifying!]

Cr: Jennifer Clasen/FOX

Tommy wants to go to the club, but Ben thinks they should answer the door for trick-or-treaters and hit on hot moms. [haha!] But, Tommy eats a couple of BJ's candies, which are from Amsterdam. [hint, hint.] Tommy wants to go to the hospital, but Ben decides to join him in ecstasy, and after one set of trick-or-treaters, they decide to bail on that plan. [omg, BLTs are the ONLY sandwich I eat with mayonnaise! I'm like Kate, LoL!]

Also, Maddie is dressed as Marie Curie. [her previous costumes include Baby Ghandi, tiny Geraldine Ferraro and the Death of Print Journalism. mmhmm...]

Suburgatory Returns, Kills Potential Plots

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

You may recall that I thought that this show was dragging as the first season finished, and wasn't sure if I'd keep up with it. Well, the teases over the hiatus have convinced me to stay through the Thanksgiving episode, so we'll re-evaluate in another month. But, I gotta say, this season premiere was terrible! Lisa having the knowledge that Ryan was adopted is now useless. Tessa and her grandmother seem to have no tension, and the break from Chatswin apparently made the protagonist content with her life once more. Plus, Eden is gone, so George is back to having no life. The only plot that moved forward this episode is Dallas' struggle to become closer to Dalia - without her housekeeper/nanny, she'll be forced to deal with her daughter more often.

Suburgatory "Homecoming" (S02E01): Tessa spent the summer with her mother's mother in Manhattan. She found out that her mother played guitar so she takes an interest in music, deciding to learn one of her mother's songs and play it in the Fall Follies. [what was with the scene where George makes Tessa sign a condition report before lending her his guitar?]

Lisa decides to confront her mother about Ryan being adopted, and her parents talk about how difficult it was to adopt Ryan - the birthmother took him back multiple times. [awww!] Lisa wants things to change, like getting the solo for their Fall Follies song over Ryan. [dancing cats? EVERY year??] 

(ABC/ADAM TAYLOR)

But, it backfires when Sheila realizes that all she has to do is threaten Lisa with the fact that, if she told Ryan the truth and he wanted to find his birthmother, that would mean Sheila would have more time to spend with Lisa. [yep, that sure would suck!] In the end, they burn down the potting shed and its secrets.

Noah is trying to woo Carmen back to nanny for the new baby, Opus, as she cared for Jenna before working for Dallas. When he offers her a car, she asks Dallas to counter-offer, but Carmen winds up leaving Dallas when she sees the woman destroying Noah's bribes. [...aside fro holiday cards or East Sunday, I don't think I've ever seen a father and son dress alike... did anyone else find that odd? Of course, not as odd as putting a headpiece on the baby to hold iced coffee!]  

Fun Friday: Where We Left Off...

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

We've been treated to quite a few pilots already in the new television season, but "the good stuff" is just starting to return. So, I figured that you might appreciate a little recap of where we left off with some great series last Spring...

2 Broke Girls left off with Caroline and Max meeting Martha Stewart in a bathroom, Chestnut returning to the the girls' backyard, Max learning that Johnny is engaged, and Sophie being quite charitable to the girls and their business. Also, Sophie and Oleg are friends with benefits.

Cake Boss revealed that Buddy's mother was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease, which is taking quite a toll on the family. It was around Easter when the show went on hiatus, so expect some 4th of July cakes and maybe some summer wedding extravagance as well.

How I Met Your Mother is a big one. The seventh season ended with Lily going into labor while Marshall and Barney party in Atlantic City. In a ridiculous turn of events, the duo get a bus re-routed to make to Lily in time for Marvin Waitforit Erickson to make his appearance. But that's just the beginning... Victoria walked out on her wedding to see Ted "one last time," and it's revealed that Robin the the bride at Barney's wedding - though Barney was planning to propose to Quinn in Hawaii.

Last Man Standing may not actually be back until November, but here's a recap for you just the same... Kristin and Kyle broke up, Mike's father lives in town, Vanessa's sister lives in the Baxter guest room, and Mike bought a tank. Also, be aware that there are a few changes - Boyd will age three years and be in kindergarten, Kristin has been re-cast, and Eve will be in high school. 

South Park last aired in late April, so Stone and Parker have some great things they can work with from the news and pop culture lately. And the Olympics, of course. In the event they want to carry over old events, though, we do have new-girl Nichole, whom Kyle liked.

Suburgatory closed with a Mother's Day episode in which Tessa sees her long-estranged maternal grandmother, so it's very likely that she'll be making another appearance. Eden is close to giving birth, Lisa found out that her brother was adopted, and Dallas wants to change the relationship she has with Dalia.

The Middle featured Mike's brother, Rusty, having a shotgun wedding of sorts, Axl and his friends starting an odd-jobs business, and Sue going to Prom with a friend of her older brother. Plus, with the library closing, Brick will have to come up a new favorite spot, and the old librarian being Aunt Edie's new companion will certainly change a few things as well.

The Simpsons featured Lady Gaga cheering up Lisa in the final episode last season. Other than that, it's pretty much crazy-scenario-that-will-reset-anyway over there, with the exception of Edna and Ned, who are learning to co-parent when she pulls Rod and Todd out of their Christian school.

Two and a Half Men left us with Jake and Eldridge joining the army, having no other post-high-school plans. Plus, everyone hates Alan right now, as he milked his friends and family by pretending that an injury lasted much longer than it really did. Oh, and Zoey and Walden are still together.

...and, a bonus! We're now going to be recapping The Big Bang Theory, as I fell in love with it late last Spring and am now addicted to the popular CBS sitcom. When we last saw our science-loving group, Howard married Bernadette and then blasted off into space, Sheldon held Amy's hand, and Penny rejected Leonard's marriage proposal.  

Photo: Cliff Lipson/CBS