Suburgatory: A Dance-Off, Chocolate Pudding, Being Average

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I really want to know what so many people love about this series! I just don't get it. So, I'm giving it one more episode to change my mind. Otherwise, I just don't see the point in continuing to watch. Noah's storylines are so yuppie that they're genuinely uninteresting and unbelievable. Lisa's investigation was interesting but Ryan's adoption has turned into a nightmare. Malik and Lisa are long over, and I don't want to see Tessa date Ryan. Dallas continues to do things that are mind-boggling, like buy Dalia a new car just for taking the PSATs. Which reminds me, do these kids instantly get their scores now? I was kinda lost there. I also don't care for the George-Dallas relationship, and because I wasn't a big fan of his dating Eden, either, I guess I just can't find a part of this show that I really want to dig into... what is it that keeps you coming back to Chatswin?

Suburgatory "Black Thai" (S02E08): Tessa gets a 186 on her PSATs and George gives her a card and some ice cream. We don't know what Dalia got, but she gets a new car with a sound system as her reward. [as a reminder, Dalia sucks at driving.]  Dallas makes Dalia feel better by pointing out that she's a better dancer than Tessa, and Dalia promptly tricks Tessa into a hip-hop dance-off. [that was weird enough, but when George and Dallas wind up having one after arguing over their parenting techniques, I was ready for this to end!] 

ABC/CARIN BAER

Ryan has moved in with Malik, and until he returns Sheila's family eats venison every night. [gross! and expensive.] When things begin to look bleak, the family kidnaps Malik in broad daylight and ransoms him for Ryan. [what??] But, they are invited to Malik's house for dinner, where "Eugene" has decided to apply for emancipation, thanks to Malik's lawyer mother. [I can't imagine helping out a kid with that when his family didn't really do anything wrong.] But, when they have chocolate pudding without skin, Eugene finally begins to miss his family and goes home to have chocolate pudding with the skin. [see, this is why I hate this show. the one thing Ryan returns home for is chocolate pudding with skin. gross!]

Noah and his wife are worried when Opus doesn't get into their first-choice daycare, so they hire Mr. Wolfe to use unconventional methods to prepare him. [because, apparently, Mr. Wolfe is awesome at preparing infants for rigorous preschool programs??] Turns out, at six months old, Opus is average, breaking his parents' hearts. [simultaneous eye roll? yeah.]