GCB: Ending Season One in Mexico

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

How many times must we be reminded that Amanda is an alcoholic? I'm sick of it. I'm ready to bet that GCB will get cancelled come next Tuesday (ABC's upfront), and, even if it is renewed, the previews for season two would have to be mighty impressive to get me to tune in once more. This season finale was one of the more annoying episodes of any television show I've watched this season. The women being hauled off to the desert, only to signal help by using hairspray and a gun? And their cell phones just happened to be brought back to the original shop? And Sharon and Cricket are both going after the same get-rich-quick scheme on eye cream that would never be approved in the United States? The Ripp-has-a-secret-daughter storyline was just icing on the cake of ridiculousness. No thanks, ABC. Take back your Good Christian B!tches/Belles and forget we ever had this foray into Texan shenanigans.

GCB "Revelation" (S01E10): Carlene, Sharon, and Heather are going to Juarez so that Carlene can file the deed to her new property and the other two can purchase illegal skin cream. Cricket fights going until Blake questions her about the men in her life. Zack is also going, and Carlene had begged the pastor to join them to bless the sand. He brought along Gigi, as Amanda had other plans - namely, flying to Austin to see Luke. Well, Luke's lies are uncovered when she arrives at his house and he's away, so she rushes back to join the crowd to head for Juarez, as Luke's neighbor shared that he was there. [she flew to Austin and back before the other group left? and what kind of neighbor shares travel information with a stranger??] So, when they land in Mexico, most of the group goes shopping while Amanda and Gigi take a cab to the address provided by Luke's neighbor. There, they see Ripp with a younger woman. Amanda wants to squeal to Carlene immediately, but Gigi asks her to wait a bit, and then they meet up with everyone at the site.

After they ground breaks ground in unincorporated Juarez, they're supposed to go to City Hall... instead, they are brought to the middle of the desert, have their hands bound, and walk with bags over their heads to a shack of sorts. [why did the pastor take a different vehicle away from the groundbreaking?] Cricket offers up a German SUV and an ostrich for their freedom, but it turns out that Carlene's land is sacred Aztec grounds and a descendent of that tribe wants Carlene to give up her condo dream. [Cricket stepping up when she finds out that their captor is homosexual was odd... and it should have struck some of the other girls as peculiar, too.] Carlene refuses, but after a while, the Aztec woman just takes the deed paperwork from Carlene's purse and leaves the girls there.

(ABC/KAREN NEAL)

Carlene takes on the leadership role of leading the group through the desert at night, but by morning they're dehydrated. The only nourishment they have is a bottle of tequila that Sharon bought. [why does she have that on her person? Why wouldn't she have left it in the limo?] Even Amanda eventually takes a few swigs, and when things start falling apart, Amanda tells Carlene about having seen Ripp. Gigi's confirmation shocks Carlene, and the girls must carry her as they continue on. [this scene was so over-the-top I almost gagged.]

Meanwhile, Zack and the pastor have no idea where the women are, have been trying their phones for hours, and tried talking to the local authorities. Zack is a little preoccupied, as he has decided to sell Sharon's business (for $20M) without her consent, and he's been dealing with some quality control issues at a basketeria. In retracing the girls' steps, they find the cell phones at the skin cream shop [just how they got there and why, I'm not sure.] The girls have made it back to the groundbreaking site, and Gigi pulls a gun out of her bouffant and throws up a can of hairspray to light the billboard on fire. [resourceful?] After they're rescued, everyone heads to where Amanda and Gigi saw Ripp, and he admits that he recently learned that he has a daughter. Similarly, Luke admits to doing the legwork for Ripp so that Carlene wouldn't find out the truth until there was something to tell. [I thought that this was dumb.] Afterward, despite Luke professing his love for Amanda, she tells the pastor that he's great at rescuing people and kisses him. [because this show just had to have a love triangle?]