Suburgatory: Things are Moving Pretty Quickly!

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Somehow, Tessa is apparently working full-time at Dallas' store. She's a decent salesperson and makes thousands of dollars in a heartbeat. Somehow, Eden is now very visibly showing and already at the point where an ultrasound can detect the sex of the baby. With that, George is infatuated with her, enough to invite her to move in, which Noah can't be happy about! Somehow, Lisa is able to find a random pamphlet from years ago, then finds a tape of her parents asking for a baby to adopt. It just all seems a bit strange to be taking place so quickly. I've been back and forth on this series all season, and the latest developments certainly aren't helping anything. At least Tessa still opens the episodes with reminders about the show's premise - people do weird things in the suburbs.

Suburgatory "Hear No Evil" (S01E20): Noah is being rough on Eden, trying to take charge of how much pepper she puts on her salads. [the "blood, mucus, and baby bones" image was really gross.] Noah even has George sign a contract about not being intimate with Eden until the baby is born, though she soon finds out about it and things kinda go out the window. Sheila tells Jill that Eden will eventually want Noah and the baby to herself, so Sheila is now hanging around not doing much of anything. Oh, speaking of Jill... she's getting a pregnancy portrait done without actually being pregnant. [MAJOR EYE ROLL.] Noah wants to start teaching Mandarin to the fetus (cue pic). George plans a movie night with Eden and Tessa, but "the numerologist" needs to know the sex of the baby so he can get started on names, so George and Tessa (and Sheila) accompany Noah, Jill, and Eden to the doctor's appointment. [I understand that George and Eden are dating, but why would she invite him to her ultrasound?] Eden asks the doctor about intimacy during pregnancy, and she's given the okay, which only sparks an argument between George and Noah. When things get heated, Eden realizes that she needs to be more relaxed, and considers moving back to Montana. George can't bear to see her go, so he invites her to move in with him, without talking to Tessa about it first. [I don't understand why they couldn't have put it off a single day so that Tessa could be more involved. Not that she'd welcome the situation with open arms, but I really would have thought that George would have made more of an effort.]

(ABC/CARIN BAER)

Dallas' store is doing well, and she sells crystal clothes hangers while Tessa sells a crystal chef's hat to Mr. Wolf. [useless stuff, coming right up!] Dallas gives Tessa a new uniform and her own business card, with the title, "Ultimate Sales Manage Grand Supreme." [I had to pause to stop laughing! It's a good thing I caught a few episodes of Toddlers & Tiaras so I got the full effect! I also liked the tension between Mr. Wolf and Dallas' dog.] Tessa starts spending thousands on purses and having home-visit manicures, so George has Dallas move Tessa to part-time so that he can spend more time with her. [the whole thing was just weird. I understand that crystal is expensive and that Dallas is generous to her employees, but just how much was the girl bringing home??]

Lisa found an adoption pamphlet in the garage and is wondering if she's actually adopted, explaining why Sheila is so upset about Noah using a surrogate. [her brother's line was so random, but still made me laugh. "I have a big phone call coming up and I have to make a joke about fart."] Lisa then locates some old video tapes belonging to her parents, with one focusing on her parents asking for a baby. Lisa swabs her mother's mouth while she's asleep, probably because she wants a DNA test. [I understand that Lisa is hoping to find out that she's adopted, but her smile while doing all of this is just a tad creepy!]