Secret Life: First Day of School

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Well, everyone who was guessing that Ricky and Amy didn't really get married was correct! While it's interesting that they think they can keep this lie going, it's going to unravel awfully fast once they fill out the health insurance paperwork! I say they go down to the courthouse and get a marriage license, pronto. Of course, I doubt that's what's going to happen, and you can almost bet on the fact that rumors will fly and everyone will know before the important people - which, in this case, I'm going to consider Margaret, George, and Leo, though Shaker, Nora, and Anne certainly deserve to know as well. I don't know that we'll see much of Anne with the "group" for a while... it appears that they're heading down the Mimzi's illness storyline and will probably kill her off soon. Honestly, they almost need to - I think we're at a higher character count than Degrassi at this point!

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "I Do and I Don't" (S05E03): It's the first day of school and everyone is congratulating Amy on getting married. Grace even gives her a Bible. [hmmmm...] Dylan's mother made a four-tier wedding cake for Amy, so she spends the day hauling that around on an AV cart. [what a bad idea!] As Amy opens her locker (booby-trapped with confetti and whatnot), a flashmob begins (thanks to Ethan), to "Marry You," with Madison and Lauren singing and tons of dancers holding the Ricky masks. [Ricky on a stick?] Also, Madison's hair is blond and straight now, by the way. I thought the flashmob was neat, but WAY too long. and what's with the exclusivity of that "Marry You" song??] We also learn later that the church nursery had an impromptu wedding shower for Amy.

Now, it's time for an update on how people are responding to Ricky... Leo shows up to present Ricky with a gift from Nora - Amy and John are now covered by his insurance. [so... Nora's gift was filing?] He also gifts him a ton of cash. [cue Ethan robbing Ricky...] Leo then offers Ricky a place in his company, be it butchering, in the office, as an international associate, whatever works. This would, of course, be after Ricky finishes his business degree. [nice! who offers someone a job FOUR YEARS EARLY, though?] Ricky is worried about competing with Ben, but Leo tells him that Ben has other plans. Later, at the college bookstore, Adrian points out that Ben hates Ricky and would never let him have a big part in Leo's company. [boo on that killjoy!] After work, Ricky goes to see Margaret, who gives Ricky her parents' wedding bands. [I love how much love that woman has to give. remarkable!]

After discussing their days, Ricky and Amy decide to watch their wedding video... or, should I say, "Amy & Dicky's Wedding" video. The video is poor quality with no editing, and we find out that it was so bad that they left without actually tying the knot. [they didn't have any witnesses anyway...]

Back to the school day... Kaitlin is asking the seniors to mentor freshmen, and Amy is matched with Kathy, a pregnant new girl. [OF COURSE they have to match the teen mothers together. ::eye roll::] Her boyfriend was a fan of the pull-out method, but it didn't work. [why did they allow Amy's character to suspect that Kathy was raped, though? will rape be coming up soon on the show?] Kathy plans to give her baby up for adoption, and already has a family picked out. [good for her.] The only other senior we see attempt to be matched was Ben, who claims that he's always in trouble and nobody should look up to him. [there's a lot to say here...] And, on that topic, Ben causes a few problems right then and there. He runs into student-teacher Omar and accuses him of being a pervert, and won't let it go until Omar says he'll have to report this. Ben quickly apologizes, but it's too late, Omar tells Kaitlin, who says that an investigation will be opened. [remember when we used to like Ben? and, by "we," I mean everyone? LoL.] Ben then bumps into Amy, around whom he's been awkward, upset that she didn't tell him when she got married. He decides to confesses that he's always loved her. [WHOA. this is going to start SO MUCH trouble!] Well, one of Dylan's friends overhears both conversations, and soon all of Dylan's friends know and suggest she break up with Ben because he's "cracking up." [is this teen lingo now?] Oh, and one more bit about the school day - Madison and Lauren feel fat and poor because they don't have uniforms. [I don't even know what to say here. Though, Lauren quoting The Help was a bit odd.]

Over at the college, the new football coach sees Jack praying and decides to make him the team's "Tebow," demanding the HS coach (the one who played Sgt. Michaels on 7th Heaven... I don't think he has a name?) get Jack back in church to make it legitimate. He calls Grace, and we don't actually hear the conversation, so look for that to come up next episode. 

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Then, we're inundated with dinner conversations. [seriously. did we need to see FIVE different dinner scenes??] Grace says the blessing for a meal with George, Kathleen, and Tom, pointing out that Jacob has gone back to Africa for now. [Kathleen and George not being able to stop kissing at the dinner table was awkward. Jacob being missing for a while should be interesting, though.] Over at Adrian's parents' house, Omar is making nice with Ruben and Cindy, which irritates Adrian. [so... if Omar's dad and Adrian are both detectives of one nature or another, are we about to find out that they know each other, too?] Omar is also a topic of conversation between Leo and Ben, as Ben avoids talking about the fire to mention that he's going to be questioned for what he said to Omar. Ben also decides that Ricky is responsible for ALL of Ben's big problems over the past few years, as he "stole" Ben's life. [hahaha. Though, we're almost getting to the point where Ben's going to wind up in some serious therapy...]

Over at George's, Nora has made beanies and weenies for Ashley and Toby. [bleh. people still eat that?] Ashley finds it revolting, then lets it slip that she's moving to Italy, telling Toby that he's coming. [she is SO demanding. her and Amy both have horrible attitudes toward other people sometimes.] Toby says that he doesn't have the money to go and he can't leave in as short notice as Sunday anyway. He also says that she should stop running but she can't see staying in a place that she hates... so he's going to consider moving with her anyway. It also seems that George may not be aware of Ashley's plans. [prepare for a big speech from him next episode!]

Down at Mimzi's, Anne apologizes for eloping, to which Mimzi says that Anne was present at her wedding. [this could be interesting...] Mimzi doesn't always associate Anne as being her daughter, so she mentions that she's sorry that she made her daughter feel bad for eloping years ago. Mimzi also doesn't "get" that Anne is gay. [did we change the child playing Robbie?]