Looking Ahead at 2018-2019

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Well, it's been a summer. There was a whole lot of nothing on television, aside from the Bates Family, the Duggar Family, the Roloff Family, and the newer addition to my reality followings - the Busby Family. Technically, there was also Trial & Error, but I'm behind in that because Spectrum is awful and we're on our third DVR box in two months. But, I spent some time last night going through the new shows for the broadcast networks and made some selections. because, you know, there's more to TV life than

ABC came in high, CW isn't even on the board, and FOX tanked. CBS and NBC are surprisingly equal, but we'll see how that pans out. I picked more shows this year than I did last year, but a few of them I really don't think will make it to Thanksgiving, so not much is lost in giving them a try.

What made the cut?
For ABC, I'm going with the soon-to-premiere Single Parents (a bit too much exposure, already, I think), A Million Little Things (it better be better than Friends with Better Lives), plus the farther out The Rookie (Nathan Fillion, anyone?), The Conners, Schooled, and The Kids are Alright (it seems that we're on an every-other-year-there's-a-Catholic-family-show module). As two of those are spin-offs, I'm not really feeling like my ABC selections are as high as they appear.

For FOX, the only thing I'm going to bother with is Rel, which starts tonight. It's about a guy who has to rebuild his life after a divorce, so it'll be a rough start, but Sinbad plays the protagonist's father, so that could be fun.

On NBC, the start dates are mostly soon. In September alone, I'll be checking out New Amsterdam (I'm a sucker for medical shows), I Feel Bad (I need more "mom shows"), and Manifest (it's going to be awful or amazing), plus later on there's Gilded Age (period show!), Abby's (this looks like a hot mess), and The Village (which, really, I'm only in to see Daren Kagasoff act again).

Rounding it out on CBS, there's the crazy (unscripted) Million Dollar Mile, the unlikely-to-work Happy Together, the reboot of Murphy Brown, the too-much-like-Living-Biblically-from-last-season God Friended Me, the is-this-Timeless-again? Blood & Treasure, and the Beth-Behrs-is-back The Neighborhood.

The bigger, scarier thing (if you can believe it) is that I have a TON of returning shows, which I don't think I realized back in Spring!
ABC: Fresh off the Boat, American Housewife, Speechless, The Goldbergs, Black-ish, The Good Doctor [only one new thing from last year remaining]
FOX: Bob's Burgers, The Resident, Last Man Standing (I don't think it'll be that good this time around, though...) [only one new thing from last year remaining]
NBC: This is Us, Superstore, A.P. Bio, Will & Grace, The Good Place (which I discovered online over the summer) [only one new thing from last year remaining]
CBS: Man with a Plan, How to Get Away with Murder, The Big Bang Theory, Young Sheldon [only one new thing from last year remaining]
CW: Jane the Virgin, Dynasty [one old, one from last year]
Other Networks: South Park (Comedy Central), Grown-ish (Freeform), Good Trouble (the Freeform spin-off of The Fosters), plus the aforementioned follow-an-atypical-family shows I enjoy. 

And, at some point, I still do plan to check out The Mick and Good Girls. So... yeah, there's a lot of television entertainment to be enjoyed this year. 

2017-2018 Network Prospects: Why Not?

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Where have I been? Well, around the time of the last post, I excitedly became pregnant. Later that month I signed a large contract for my other occupation that kept me very busy, from that point until about five months after the babies were born. Then, we moved across the country, and I have been filling my days with everything that goes along with navigating a new area (while learning to parent twin toddlers).

I'm not entirely sure what my blogging plans are at this point (I'm not sure if I have any press contacts left out there), but I've been looking forward to the new television season for several months now, and want an outlet to talk about the prospects. I didn't really ease up on my viewing, and have largely stayed up-to-date with all of the series I followed before (both broadcast network and cable). I actually even began a post last year, planning to discuss those pilots, but I never got around to finishing/publishing it.

Anyway, let's dive in. Expect my thoughts to be scatterbrained, as I'm rather out of practice at this point, and am more in the mindset of having fun than editing.

First, here are the pilots that interest me on each of the big five networks:
ABC: The Good Doctor, Kevin (Probably) Saves the World, Ten Days in the Valley, The Crossing, Deception.
CBS: 9JKL, Young Sheldon, Wisdom of the Crowd, By the Book, Me, Myself, and I.
The CW: Dynasty.
FOX: The Gifted, Ghosted, The Resident, LA to Vegas.
NBC: The Brave, Good Girls, Rise, A.P. Bio, and the return of Will & Grace (not really a pilot, per se).

That's 5 each on ABC, CBS, and NBC, with 4 on FOX and 1 on The CW. Technically, that makes perfect sense, when you look at the total airtime of each of those networks. It's actually not as simple as that, as the networks didn't all offer the same number of pilots, but moving on...

Looking at the programming schedule, those shows (save the ones that will begin in 2018) air as follows:
Sunday: 3
Monday: 5
Tuesday: 1
Wednesday: 2
Thursday: 1

I historically have huge conflicts with Monday shows, but generally don't have a lot on Sundays, so that's rather interesting. However, let's look at it in the scope of the returning network shows I'm tuning in to watch:
ABC: Fresh off the Boat, American Housewife, The Middle, Speechless, The Goldbergs, Black-ish.
CBS: Man with a Plan, Trial & Error, How to Get Away with Murder, Code Black, Scorpion, The Big Bang Theory.
The CW: Jane the Virgin.
FOX: Bob's Burgers.
NBC: Timeless, This is Us, Superstore.

Low on FOX, very heavy on CBS and ABC (I've been particularly drawn to ABC's programming as long as I can remember), average for NBC and The CW.

Add in the fall returns by day:
Sunday: 1
Monday: 1
Tuesday: 4
Wednesday: 3
Thursday: 3
Friday: 1

This is where I really start to get fired up and want to talk about the season! If we didn't have the technology to record multiple shows at once or to access them outside of the original broadcast, I'd be doomed. Not looking specifically at the different timeslots within primetime, I could be in some trouble. Four on Sunday night is weird (while four on Thursday night is expected), and six on each of Monday and Tuesday is insane! Five more on Wednesday means I would constantly be struggling to keep up at the water cooler by Thursday morning, but at least a measly one on Friday night would make it easier to plan movie nights to go see the latest soon-to-be-blockbuster. However, we're fortunate enough that we can watch three "hours" of television in just about two, thanks to the magic of fast-forwarding. And, in my own case, I don't see movies on their opening nights anymore; the amount of coordination that takes doubles when factoring in childcare!

If you're a longtime reader (not sure if any of those are left, honestly), you know that I always try out a large number of new shows in the fall, so a dozen does not scare me, but an additional 13 returning series really start to twist my mind a bit. 25 series to watch at least 2-3 episodes of (not factoring in which are sixty minutes rather than thirty!) makes for a bit of a daunting October (the fact that it's taking forever for shows to start is an entirely separate issue...). And that doesn't factor in which shows my husband will choose to watch with me (of the returning fall series, he's only a fan of Scorpion, Superstore, How to Get Away with Murder, Man with a Plan, and Bob's Burgers), and which he'll need time to view on his own (he really only picks three or four pilots each year, but they're generally different from my own choices).

Fortunately, my boys are phenomenal sleepers, so between their almost-three-hour nap and the eleven hours they sleep at night, I think I can fit it all in. I guess only time will tell.

Top 10 Television Democrats

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

With the 2012 Presidential Election upon us, I thought that it would be cool to take a look at some openly political television characters. Today we'll look at Democrats and tomorrow we'll look at Republicans. No special reason that we're doing one before the other.

all images pulled from wikis, except Family Ties from IMDB

10. Joe Quimby, The Simpsons. Mayor Quimby is largely portrayed as an animated collage of political Kennedys, with an accent, a passion for womanizing, and uses money to solve as much as possible.

9. Grace Adler, Will & Grace. She wastes no time in declaring her political affiliation - in the fifth episode, "Boo! Humbug," she says, "I'm a Democrat" when she has to take Harlin's children trick-or-treating and one is dressed as Richard Nixon!

8. Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan, Friends. Though the show never gets very political, it would be difficult to peg Phoebe as conservative! She's a vegetarian, respects the environment, loves all animals (even smelly cats and rat babies!), donates to the homeless, and is really a free spirit in many ways. She's a lover of peace, not a big fan of Western medicine, doesn't like mass-manufactured products, and generally doesn't worry about how others see her. One very liberal thing she does is after she gets married she legally changes her name to Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock for an episode! 

7. Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H. Hawkeye was drafted and opposes the war, often disagreeing with everything the army stands for and disregarding their policies. In "Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde," he sends a telegram to President Truman, asking "Who's Responsible?" for the insanity taking place. Many seasons later, in "Give 'Em Hell, Hawkeye," he writes a letter to Truman, begging for him to stop the Korean war. He explains how dire the situation is and that the peace talks need to take place.

6. Christine Campbell, The New Adventures of Old Christine. For someone who is hardly motivated about anything, Christine founded her college's Democrats group. She doesn't talk about her political beliefs specifically all that much, though in the early season 4 episode "White Like Me," she does point out to Richard that she's a Democrat (and also says that's why she won't take alimony). She also drives a Prius, liberally drinks wine, and marries a woman for a short period of time, if you want to further stereotype a character who thoroughly stereotypes throughout the series.

5. Winnie Cooper, The Wonder Years. Winnie genuinely cares about stopping the war, as it took away her brother far too early. So, she works for the McGovern campaign in 1972 ("Politics as Usual" in season six), and is genuinely sad that there are folks who won't take a leaflet about a guy who wants to end war, poverty, and pollution. She is swept up in wanting to see change in the world, and even meets the Senator, who loses by a landslide. The local head honcho, Mike, depresses Winnie further when he says that McGovern never stood a chance, and Kevin says their political views were forever changed that night. 

4. Dorothy Zbornak, The Golden Girls. Though she never comes out and says it, Dorothy is implied to be a Democrat - she supported both Mondale and Dukakis and planned to "tell off" George H. W. Bush about the educational system's flaws. Dorothy also believes in female independence and allowing immigrants to stay in the country as long as they're productive members of society.

3. Rory & Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls. In "Dear Emily and Richard," Lorelai thinks back to being pregnant with Rory, when she planned to register as a Democrat because it's so far from her parents' ideals. Multiple times throughout the series, Rory and Lorelai talk about their liberal thinking, solidified toward the end of the series as Rory goes to work as a reporter on Obama's campaign. 

2. Brian Griffin, Family Guy. A supporter of Dennis Kucinich, this dog is anti-religion, hates George W. Bush, served in the Peace Corps, believes that marijuana should be legalized, and supports gay marriage. He considers himself an intellectual (attended Brown University and all) who thinks global warming is man-made, yet he drives a Prius. Surprisingly, he did vote for John McCain.

1. Steven & Elyse Keaton on Family Ties. This show depended on the liberalism of the Keaton parents being contrasted with the conservatism of their children (except maybe Jennifer). They married young, joined the Peace Corps, had their first child, THEN went to college at Berkeley, when they had their second child. They often speak of protesting, Elyse is a hardcore, independent feminist, and Steven works in public television. Imagine his cries as Mitt Romney tries to assassinate Big Bird!


Honorable Mentions include Brian and Joe Hackett from Wings, Mary Richards from Mary Tyler Moore, Lindsey Weir from Freaks and Geeks, Eric Camden from 7th Heaven, and Shirley Feeney from Laverne & Shirley. Am I missing anyone?

Random Thoughts: Characters with Cars in NYC

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

So I watch Seinfeld in the afternoons sometimes. It comes on at 3pm here in California, and it'll be on as I'm writing or folding laundry or whatever. Last week, I managed to catch an episode where George was driving. He owns a car. Kramer also owns a car. So does Jerry. I don't believe that Elaine does, but the fact that 3/4 of the main characters on the show have cars is weird. And, I'm not sure why they have them. Jerry, maybe... I assume he probably had some stand-up gigs in Jersey or upstate or whatnot. But with the price of parking and insurance and the few times you'd use a car in NYC, I just don't see why they all have cars!

And it's not just Seinfeld. On Friends, Monica has a car in the later seasons (her dad's Porsche), Phoebe has her grandmother's taxicab, and Ross has a sportscar in one episode (though I imagine he returned it, since we never hear of it again). The taxi comes in handy on several occasions, and Monica only has a car because it was a gift of sorts... so these are much more justified. But, on most shows, those who live in Manhattan are car-less, which I think is much more believable. Will and Grace don't have cars. Marshall used to, but now none of the How I Met Your Mother gang have cars. Paul and Jamie owned a parking spot but not a car. So it just seems weird to me that so many people on Seinfeld had cars. What do you think?

10 Favorite Best Friendships

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Last Wednesday I was in Florida, having spent just about a week with various friends. The night before I left I had dinner with my two best friends and then we played Phase 10, our mutually favorite game. So, in honor of friendships, today we look at ten great pairs of best friends.

Now, before you look at this list, you kinda have to know that a) I specifically left out trios & ensembles, like Danny-Jesse-Joey on Full House, the six on Friends, the four on Seinfeld, the six/five on Saved by the Bell, the five on How I Met Your Mother, etc. b) there are some famous duos I've never seen, so I can't comment. This includes groups like Laverne & Shirley. c) I also left out shows that only focus on two individuals, like Square Pegs. And d) I didn't consider people who are work-friends only, since we rarely see them in a social setting.

I also struggled to find female-female best friends... and I'm not sure why. I came up with four or five female ensembles, but no one-on-one best friendships of note. Anyone think of any? I'm sure I'm just drawing a blank here, right??

10. Larry Appleton & Balki Bartokomous (Perfect Strangers) These two guys are thrown together by chance, really. Larry isn't thrilled with what's about to transpire, but he powers through and the two end up having a lot of fun over the run of the show. Balki's positive thinking and natural ability to find mischief keeps this pair on their toes. Sometimes you have to wonder what's keeping them together, but they are sure one hilarious pair to watch interact with each other and others!


9. Kevin Arnold & Paul Pfeiffer (The Wonder Years) Being a teenager is tough, and it's important to have a good best friend, especially one with whom you can learn about sex, deal with the woes of studying, rely on when times are tough, and turn to when all hope is lost. Kevin & Paul really go through the whole "coming of age" thing together, and although it's clear early on that their lives are destined for different paths, their friendship is always there. And, while we all know that girls tend to come between buddies as they get older, these two manage to get past the few such occurrences that happen in their lives.

8. Philip J. Fry & Bender (Futurama) Time, space, and species no longer matter in this one-of-a-kind friendship. Fry has a difficult time fitting in when he's fast-forwarded 1,000 years, and so his fellowship with robot Bender seems to come natural. Not to mention the fact that they met in a suicide booth, LoL. Neither of them are particularly bright, and both enjoy a good time causing mischief, so their pairing off fits the show well, and allows for a great number of storylines where their close-knit relationship is apparent but not overwhelming.

7. Hawkeye Pierce & BJ Honeycutt (M*A*S*H) If ever there was a pair who had more fun together trying to make the best of a bad situation, let me know! These two goons are absolutely hilarious together, and are always there for one another around camp. The tricks that they come up with to play on their fellow doctors and nurses are clever, and their banter in any given situation is comical. They may very well be the funniest duo on this list! Thank goodness for their sense of humor, because otherwise the war would have been much less exciting for the 4077th!

6. Michael Westen & Sam Axe (Burn Notice) Sam used to snitch on Michael... and not like you tell the teacher on a copycat. Sam was an informant for the FBI, haha. But, that was a long time ago and Michael is now a free agent, so he and Sam are free to be the best of buds. This is handy, since they can't seem to pull off their antics by themselves, really. The fact that they think fast on their feet is probably the biggest asset to their friendship, as one generally needs to bail out the other at a moment's notice... sometimes even less.

5. Gregory House & James Wilson (House, MD) For most of the series, it's not really known how many other friends these two have besides one another. The friendship is kinda one-sided, in that House mooches off of Wilson in every way one can think of, but Wilson takes it and is generous towards House. Wilson does do nice things for him, even if they're kinda out there... like drugging and kidnapping House to bring him to his father's funeral, LoL. All in a day's work for these doctors.


4. Will Truman & Grace Adler (Will & Grace) These two are just so good together, and have been from the get-go. They need each other to stay sane at times, but have proved that they can also function independently. They are probably the most similar in personality on this list, since they have a lot of common dislikes and hobbies, and are on the perfect wavelength to be one another's partner in games like Tribond (which is good, given hoe competitive Grace can be!). They do things for one another, large and small, time and time again, and it just warms my heart with how much consideration and compassion they have for each other. The fact that they seem to fall out of touch in the look-into-the-future at the end of the series just broke my heart.

3. Kimmy Gibbler & DJ Tanner (Full House) I learned a lot about friendship by watching Kimmy and DJ. There's always a prettier friend, there's always a smarter friend, and there's always a sluttier friend. While it's more often DJ putting her neck on the line for Kimmy than vice versa, their friendship stands out for the realism of it all. Kimmy changes a grade for DJ here, DJ helps Kimmy study for a Spanish test there, etc. Although, DJ does things with Kimmy for at least three of her birthdays on the show, whereas DJ really only has one major birthday on the show, and I always found that to be a bit weird. But, running off to Reno at a moment's notice to stop your best friend from marrying the wrong guy is probably one of the crowning friendship moments for this pair.

2. Tommy Pickles & Chuckie Finster (Rugrats) The adventures that these tiny tots get into are often remarkable, especially considering how fortunate they are that no adult is ever paying attention to them when the chaos is about to start or already in progress. Tommy and Chuckie would never turn their backs on one another, despite Chuckie often being portrayed as the coward of the group. They share everything, there's no adventure too treacherous, and we know that they remain best friends when they are pre-teens (All Growed Up).

1. Cory Matthews & Shawn Hunter (Boy Meets World) These two are the epitome of best friends. From middle school through high school to college, from one relationship to another to one's wedding and the other's constant family issues, no two friends can be closer than Cory and Shawn. I laughed with them, I cried with them, my heart was touched as they stumbled through some of life's biggest moments together. Shawn's continuous search for love and acceptance (through friends, girlfriends, parental figures, the cult...) is always aided by Cory's everlasting dependability, and Cory's always wanting to live more wildly and unpredictably is covered by Shawn's creative and devious nature.

Who's left out? I left out Tucker & Becca on (the old) Flash Forward, since you could argue that they don't do a lot for one another on a regular basis, and both had other "best friends," too.

Get in the Holiday Spirit! 5 More Thanksgiving Eps

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Full House: "Thanksgiving." In a show that could have easily pulled off a Thanksgiving episode every season, there is but one to this series. It was the tenth episode of Full House, and it was called "The Miracle of Thanksgiving." Grandma can't make it, and since it is the first Thanksgiving without Danny's wife/Jesse's sister/the girls' mom, everyone tried to make it just like always. However, the frozen turkey and ruined pie are just the beginning... trying to buy a stranger's turkey is nuts. And the corwning moment is Joey + a bottle + a chair + a fire. This clip is the second half (minus a couple minutes) of the episode, where all the crazy shenanigans come together!

Boy Meets World: "Turkey Day." Opening up with a funny classroom skit, the story of the haves and have-nots starts early. Morgan's little date is a cute idea. Shawn and Cory doing a group donation every year is also kinda funny. There's a rather surprising situation with the trailer park "homeowner's association" and a very touching ending as well. I share with you the final part... the first two can be found from the same member.

Will & Grace: ''Lows in the Mid-80s." In a double-episode flashback, Will & Grace give a lot of their history. Well, mainly about how they went from being boyfriend and girlfriend to engaged to not speaking for a year to the current state of best friends. We see how Will realized he was gay, a high school Jack, and the beginning of Karen and Rosario. Grace's family is seen in its strange state, and it's really kinda crazy in general. I couldn't find a clip longer than three minutes (and those weren't ideal clips), but I did find the script, so if your want to get the gist, read this. But, be aware that you don't get the crazy 80s clothing or many of the funny details.

How I Met Your Mother: ''Slapsgiving.'' The most modern great Thanksgiving episode. The gang is together for their first Thanksgiving... Robin and Ted haven't been broken up for too long, Lily is freaked about creating a perfect dinner, and Marshall is counting down to the moment when he will take out his final slap on Barney. Not a very long clip, but embraces the title.

Mad About You: "Giblets for Murray." I'm not going to lie to you... this is one of the funniest Thanksgiving episodes I have ever seen in my entire life. Paul and Jamie are determined to make a Thanksgiving that everyone in both of their families will like. They make like six trips downstairs to the local store to pick up random items to appease the guests. They have issues with the table settings and the guests changing things to fit each person's individual's tastes. But that's only the start. The dog eats the turkey, so they have to sneak another one in without anyone finding out. This proves harder than one would think, and one turkey after another is doomed. This clip does pull out all of the drama and some of the great jokes, but you get the humor. (slowly, different people figure out what's going on, and by the end they all know but they don't say anything)

Top 10 Man-Whores

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

As a follow-up to Top 10 TV Sluts, I thought it would be fitting to do something similar with male television characters as well.

10. Zack Morris (Saved by the Bell). While we don't know how many girls he actually had sex with, the promiscuity of his character is a major part of his personality throughout all three series. One-daters are frequent, and include many of his close friends as well as people we only see once. Notable gals: Shana, Kelly, Stacy, Tori, Leslie.



9. Jack McFarland (Will & Grace). The sole gay man to make the top ten, Jack considers nearly every "relationship" serious, regardless of how short it is. Many of his conquests have no names, and many are one-night stands. He hits on many men, and his reputation among his friends is that he sleeps around. Notable men: Stuart.







8. Will Smith (Fresh Prince of Bel-Air). While his sexually active status is not consistent throughout the series, he definitely makes it known that he has a way with the ladies and that he's keeping it real (yep, I know that line is from Smart Guy). But let's not lie, he was pretty fly for a high schooler. Notable women: Mimi, Kayla, Kathleen, Jackie, Lisa.


7. Tony DiNozzo (NCIS). More of a flirt than a follow-through player, but he'll flirt with pretty much any and every woman he encounters. His approach changes a little bit throughout the seasons, but his womanizing nature is probably here to stay. Women: Ari, Michelle, Paula, Jeanne.








6. Luka Kovac (ER). I find it intriguing that a man who lost his virginity on his wedding night became such a hotshot after the war killed his family. I can't even remember some of the names of the women he has had relations with. And he's not known for ending them on a positive note, either. Notable women: Carol, Chuny, Sam, Abby.


5. Gavin "Spinner" Mason (Degrassi: The Next Generation). I think of him as a player... but definitely one of the least attractive on the list, and not just physically. But he hasn't had the easiest life, and we all know how that goes, especially on sitcoms. Notable women: Paige, Manny, Darcy, Jane.

4. Jesse (Cochran) Katsopolis (Full House). I think that everyone understood him to be a ridiculous womanizer. Most of the gals seemed to only last an episode or so, and it was rather common that we'd see "old girlfriends," like when he ran away to Tahoe, when he went on the fishing trip, and various band episodes. At least he calmed down. Memorable ladies: Corrina, Cheryl, Denise, Becky.



3. Joey Tribbiani (Friends). He comes in at #3, surprisingly. At first I figured he would be at the top of the list, what with his "how YOU doin'?" and other antics, but it turned out that there's actually a few men worse than he is in this department. Anyway, without further ado, here's the only girls whose names I could remember... Angela, Melanie, Erin, Kathy, Kate, Katie, Lorraine, Charlie.


2. Glenn Quagmire (Family Guy). Yep, animation near the tip-top of the list. How many times have we seen MULTIPLE women coming out of Quagmire's house or car? Yep, I can't count, either. Names aren't important, and neither is ethnicity, body type, or even age to some degree. Named women: Joan, Loretta.

1. Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother). Barney has slept with over 200 women. He doesn't remember them all, but keeps a scrapbook. He also ends up having to create a bracket system to try and figure out who might have bad-mouthed him! He almost always sneaks out after a single night of sexual encounters, and he has jokes, catchphrases, and codes for his lifestyle. Some named women: Shannon, Rhonda, Robin

Didn't make the list but you could argue that he should have: Ricky Underwood (The Secret Life of the American Teenager). He has Adrian, Amy, (almost) Grace, and a reputation quite long at school and band camp.

Top 10 TV Sluts

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

10. Ally McBeal (Ally McBeal). the dancing babies really should be an obvious notion that Ally is always trying to find a relationship. With her biological clock ticking, Ally tries hard to find a soul mate... encountering many sexual relationships along the way. Notable men in her life: Billy, Greg, Brian, Larry.







9. Grace Adler (Will & Grace). Aside from having the constant fear that yet another boyfriend will "turn gay," Grace is out on the prowl regularly. She meets men in the most random places, and really wants to find someone solid in her life... but at the same time demanding a lifestyle of fun. Notable men in her life: Danny, Will, Josh, Leo, Nathan






8. Lois Griffin (Family Guy). Many of her conquests remain a mystery, yet she seems proud of her promiscuous past. The typical rebel of an upper-class family, teenage Lois did an assortment of drugs, drank, and yet was crowned Miss Rhode Island. She makes vague references of forced miscarriages, and has stated a past tried-curiosity with lesbianism. Notable men in her life: Peter, Bill Clinton, Glenn Quagmire.






7. Kelly Taylor (Beverly Hills, 90210). While she tried hard to change her image for a while, Kelly never really stopped having the "easy" reputation that many sluts end up with. She's been raped and date-raped, has had many one-time-only dates, but a lot of long-term men as well. Interestingly, her on-again, off-again relationships are probably what she is best known for. Notable men in her life: Dylan, Jake, Brandon, Steve, Colin, Matt.

6. Hilda Spellman (Sabrina, The Teenage Witch). While she has the advantage of having hundreds of years to have spent with different men, we often only hear about the last century or so. She was quite the partier before raising Sabrina, as it is revealed that the second floor of the house was a disco, she spent many late nights on the town, and many weekends in Tuscany. Notable men in her life: Drell, Will, Willard (Mr. Kraft).






5. Rachel Green (Friends). We know that she was popular in high school and college, having many boyfriends (particularly before the rumor about her being a hermaphrodite began circulating), sometimes several at once. She is a constant flirt throughout the show, hardly changing even after the birth of her daughter. The reason she's not higher on this list is probably because the role of promiscuity seems natural for her. Notable men in her life: Barry, Ross, Paolo, Joey, Mark, Josh, Danny, Tag, Paul, Gavin.

4. Adrian Lee (The Secret Life of the American Teenager). At only seventeen years old, this character already has quite the following. She is known as "the school slut" even though we only know of two lovers who go to that school. Obviously there were more before Ricky. Adrian flaunts herself, and derives a great deal of pleasure from being considered sexy. Notable men in her life: Ricky, Max, Jack, Antonio.






3. Nina Van Horn (Just Shoot Me). We never find out her exact age, or her exact number of partners, for that matter. But we know it is high, and that she doesn't remember a lot of them, particularly due to the number of drugs she uses. But she's not shy about it, and makes sure that her body isn't "going downhill" as she ages, showing it off to anyone who will look, really. Notable men in her life: well, most didn't have names or stick around long enough, LoL. There was Robert, he counts.

2. Manny Santos (Degrassi: The Next Generation). While her character is currently in college, Manny started her promiscuity incredibly young, and that's how she got to near the top of this list... her numbers are quite high. She was not yet in high school when she began dressing sexy, and by the time she reached grade 9, she was already in the principal's office for wearing noticeable thongs and midriff-bearing shirts, among other things. After her abortion of Craig's baby, it becomes hard to follow exactly whom Manny is after from time to time. Notable men in her life: Jay, Craig, Sully, JT, Spinner, Damian, Mick, Kelly.

1. Samantha Jones (Sex and the City). well, let's begin with the fact that she defines herself as "try-sexual," as in she'll try anything sexual once. We know of two abortions. We know of countless (really) one-night stands. She even had a serious relationship with a woman (Maria). Notable men in her life: Richard, Smith, James. seriously, there are too many to count.

The Top 10 Unseen Television Characters

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

you know. the characters which never appear, but are often referenced. They might even speak, but no face is ever given to the name. Some shows use this convention more than others, but there are definitely some memorable characters which have no formal physical appearance.

10. Charlie Brown's Teacher (Peanuts), whose voice is created by a trombone (although someone once told me it was actually a muted trumpet, so that may also be the case). She's the one animated character to make the list, and I think it may be because the "voice" amused me from a young age.

9. The Gooch (Diff'rent Strokes), Arnold's foil. Bet you forgot about him, eh? Well, he was mentioned plenty of times... teasing Arnold, daring Arnold, fighting with Arnold, all sorts of childhood mischief.

8. Cousin Jeffrey (Seinfeld), the one that Uncle Leo is always bragging about. He was rumored to have kissed one of Jerry's girlfriends. He worked for the Park (Central Park, maybe? I'm not sure) and once got Jerry some concert tickets. Considering how often other members of Jerry's family were seen, I'm completely unsure as to why we didn't see Jeffrey even once.

7. Dr. Kahn (Salute Your Shorts), the camp director whom none of the characters seem to have seen, either. His voice was heard over the loudspeaker (almost) every episode, and Counselor Ug seems quite afraid of him.

6. Vera Peterson (Cheers), Norm's wife. You might argue that she shouldn't be on this list, since her legs are on camera, and I believe her torso is seen once as well. But Norm speaks of her semi-regularly, and the other characters seem to have a grasp of her as well, so she still counts as unseen.

5. Heather Sinclair (Degrassi: The Next Generation), Holly J's older sister, who is pretty much everyone's enemy. Paige specifically doesn't like her, but many of the characters talk about Heather in an unpleasant tone throughout the show.

4. George Steinbrenner (Seinfeld), George Costanza's boss while he worked for the Yankees. We see the back of his large office chair, and hear him speak almost constantly (his voice is not by the real George Steinbrenner). I wonder if that's why we don't see him... because he is an actual person and didn't want to be on the show.


3. Stanley Walker (Will & Grace), Karen's rich and obese husband. Technically you see his feet and hands at separate times, but he's talked about a crazy amount of time without actually ever being seen. His character ends up with quite the storyline, including jail, (faked) death, divorce, and financial difficulties.

2. Maris Crane (Frasier), Niles' first wife. She's spoken of throughout all eleven seasons, although she and Niles divorced several years into the show. She specifically was never seen because it became too difficult to properly portray her due to all of the crazy attributes which she gathers throughout the series.

1. Alma Borland (Home Improvement), Al's often-ridiculed mother. Since Al and his brother Cal look so much alike, and it's made clear that one takes after the mother and one takes after the father, mom & dad must also look quite similar. That, and Tim's frequent teasing of Al about his mother's size (among other things) really made me want to see how they'd cast her. Alas, it never happened, despite the fact that Al had two planned weddings.


The other major contenders: The Gibblers (Full House), Kimmy's family, that includes two parents, an older brother, and possibly three sisters. Dr. Claw (Inspector Gadget), the guy always plotting against Inspector Gadget. Nanny (Muppet Babies), although we do see her striped socks. Mr. & Mrs. Urkel (Family Matters), Steve's parents. Sparky (M*A*S*H), the radio operator. The Ditmeyer Family (Brady Bunch), the neighbors to Mike, Carol, and family.

Quick recaps

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I LOVE TV-on-DVD. It's my favorite. I am obsessed with making sure I've seen every episode of shows I love, so I don't miss anything in the overall arc of the series. Because of this, my friends and family often get me seasons of shows I love for birthday and holiday gifts. This past Christmas, I received Full House Season 5, Will & Grace Season 7, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Volume 5. I finished them all last week (slow pace for me, but with the move, I was without a DVD player for two weeks), and had a few thoughts.

One, while a lot happens in that season of Full House (26 episodes), they were all episodes I watched in their original order, so nothing was surprising. Here's the rundown of what happens in those episodes... Michelle starts kindergarten and thinks her dad should marry her teacher, DJ gets her own room/learns to drive/starts dating so Danny starts spying even more than before, Joey becomes Ranger Joe and has his own afternoon television show (and starts dating Danny's sister Wendy who has a pet monkey), Michelle starts tap-dancing while Stephanie joins an elite dance team (and the famous dance sequence to "Motown Philly," Michelle turns five while Becky goes into labor with twins (and Jesse has an emergency appendectomy), Jesse mixes up the twins and they footprint them to tell them apart, Danny gets "Bay Area bachelor of the month" and starts dating but then ends up falling for his new co-host Vicki, Michelle learns to read and ride a bike (and runs away because Jesse gets her in trouble), Stephanie has singer Tommy Page at her birthday, and the Beach Boys allow Jesse to make a music video of "Forever."

In that season of Will & Grace (24 episodes), there are a bunch of blah shows combined with a lot of action. Grace comes to terms with the fact that Leo cheated on her, Jack works with J. Lo then Janet Jackson then OutTV (a new gay network) and gets his own talkshow, Karen does some actual interior design work when Grace freaks out at a client, Will and Vince have some rough times (Vince's best friend doesn't like Will, Will cooks Thanksgiving dinner for Vince's family, Will chooses to console Grace instead of be with Vince, Vince is fired from the force but is afraid to tell Will), Will gets named partner but then quits the firm to become a writer, Will and Grace update their wills, and Will finds out that Stanley is alive.

But I actually started this post to write about TMNT. The twelve episodes on this volume basically cover episodes with "special mutants" such as the frogs, the alligator, the rat king, and the bunny. But what stuck out the most in these episodes were two hilarious scenes... First, the Ninja Turtles put an ad in the paper to Kasey Jones (the hockey-masked vigilante) to get his attention, saying they were going to rob the candy store in the park. So… why didn’t the police see it and come too? LoL. Next... the turtles and Kasey Jones are all tied up. Leonardo finds a saw mounted on the wall with the TEETH STICKING OUT. No lie. So of course, he saws himself free. What are the odds?