Hot in Cleveland: Switching Characters

In the 90s, there were serial daters with their own shows. Cheers had Sam, Friends had Joey, Frasier and Seinfeld had their title characters... it was a thing. It brought fresh faces to the sitcoms for a stretch of episodes, and then they were replaced with new ones. Hot in Cleveland has had that, too, but it's getting extreme as well as boring. Revolving boyfriends, extended family members, coworkers, and even neighbors have been appearing on this comedy, and as soon as a viewer might start laughing at someone, they're out the door. As soon as one of the four ladies might start growing because of someone they're frequently with, that process gets shut down. There's something to be said for sticking with the initial premise of a show, but there's also meat behind the idea that change is good.

facebook.com/hotincleveland

Hot in Cleveland "The Italian Job" (S05E20): Melanie gets a new co-host, Frankie, as the show is now designed to have a lot of conflicting viewpoints. [I'm crinkling my nose here.] When she manages to get him dumped by his girlfriend, he decides to stay at the girls' place and offer his advice to them... and they prefer it over Melanie's! [meh. not the most realistic thing ever, and I think Melanie's constantly changing jobs is one of the more sporadic things about this series!]

J.J. wants Victoria to meet his grown children, Jessica, James, and Lisa. Victoria tries her best, but manages to upset each, and then when she reminds J.J. too much of his ex-wife, they decide to take some time apart. [well, that was a quick relationship! It was kinda destined to fail from the start, though.]

Also, Joy and Elka both fail an oral exam, but decide to listen to Frankie and suggestively blackmail the teacher into passing them. It works.

Season Finale: Big Bang: Changes

I'm gonna go ahead and say it... I don't know how this series will play out for three more seasons. I don't feel like the situations the characters come into are as "everyman" as Friends or Seinfeld, but there's no big gimmick to be revealed like on How I Met Your Mother, either. The close dynamic of Frasier and Happy Days isn't there, and it's not "workplace" enough to work like Cheers or M*A*S*H. But, Two and a Half Men manages to keep finding things to write about, so I suppose there's still humor to be found. One thing is for sure, though... they better find a way to write-in a multiple-part episode with the guys ACTUALLY AT COMIC-CON!

The Big Bang Theory "The Status Quo Combustion" (S07E24): Leonard and Penny share their proposal news with their friends, then their parents, but Leonard's mother already knew, courtesy of Sheldon. [ugh.] Leonard talks to Sheldon about not living together anymore, so he rants to Amy, who suggests that they live together. [basing the wedding on Penny's brother's schedule, it will be 12-18 months from now... good to know.]

Sheldon finds out that he can't change his field of study at the University, as he was hired to do String Theory. He appeals to the faculty senate, but things just start turning sour in every area of his life... and after the comic book store burns down, he heads to the train station, with the intent to ride the rails. [seriously?]

CBS

Amy is pissed that Leonard and Penny let Sheldon leave. [understandably.]

Howard's mom has gone through multiple nurses, and when Penny can't handle the job (at carte blanche), Howard and Bernadette worry that they may end up stuck caring for her... until they realize that Stuart is happy to be Debbie's caretaker, and they take to each other well. [did we previously know Howard's mom's name?]

In other news, Raj has sex with Emily.

The Middle: Everyday Orson Life!

The latest three episodes of The Middle are excellent examples of what this show is, for those who have not discovered the mundane yet humorous world that is Orson, Indiana. The Heck family has their ups and downs, but they still live like everyone else, with the same sorts of disappointments and conflicts as everyone else. Sure, things get out of hand from time to time (arrested for library late fees, going from avoiding hygiene to overdoing it), but the family takes life in stride and makes the best lemonade they can out of fallen lemons. With Sue, this tends to be her attitude in every aspect of her life, but each of the others experiences it in this batch of episodes as well. Frankie desperately wants to have more friends and be more social, but she learns to accept the more private life that she and Mike share. Axl wants to be the cool football player but still gets his heart broken. Mike does the good-father thing and volunteers to help coach his daughter's soccer team, only to learn that it's no Little League team. What else will happen on The Middle this season?

The Middle "Stormy Moon" (S05E16): Sue is upset that Reverend TimTom has a girlfriend, Reverend Tammy. [ha - "What Would Jesus Tweet?"] Sue tries to talk to him twice about it, but winds up being forced to accept it, at least to a certain degree. [meh. I forget about TimTom whenever he's not around, so no big deal.]

Axl is excited to see Cassidy again, and they jump to making out. He's not sure what to make of their relationship, though, and she paints him a picture that he doesn't understand, though he claims he does. ["Happy Trails" ??]

Two policeman show up with a warrant for Frankie's arrest... for overdue library books. [LoL, remember when something similar happened on Seinfeld?] Brick forgets to tell Mike, so Frankie has to make bail on her own. [holy cow!] She forces the entire family to search the house for the book, Brady Bunch-style, but they are unable to find it. Frankie continues to blame Brick until the judge informs her that the missing book is more in a genre she would read, though Brick winds up devouring the novel when it is found anyway. [what an embarrassment in the courtroom!]

The Middle "The Walk" (S05E17): Sue is sad that she's the only one without a date to the Prom, but that's only the beginning. Her boss, Edwin, asks her to go with him, then Sean shows up from Notre Dame to take her, and Brad also assumes that they're going together. [haha, Brad will do her makeup! what was with Sue's multi-colored pants?] But, it gets so much more complicated when the Glossner also asks her, and then Darrin does, too. She dumps Sean, then Brad, but the Glossner kid is easy because he gets thrown into juvie. Edwin dumps her after hearing about Brad, but then Shaun tells Darrin about Sue having multiple dates, and he also pulls out, leaving Sue to go alone. She meets up with WeirdAshley, who has also gone stag. [LOVED Frankie's voiceover joke!]

ABC/Michael Ansell

When Darrin goes to see Axl, the eldest Heck pulls out the big brother muscle and chews out his friend for leaving Sue standing there, so the lughead heads to Prom and makes up with her. [what was that theme?? "Lost in Time" or something?]

Frankie and Mike go for a walk and run into another couple, hitting it off. They host a dinner party for the neighbors, but everyone talks to each other and leaves Frankie and Mike out of the fun. [haha.] 

Axl helps Brick with an out-of-the-box book report, but when they go to watch the video of a book-themed domino rally across the house, they realize that Axl had the front-facing camera on. [that sucks. also, why is Axl still home??]

The Middle "The Smell" (S05E18): Mike is asked to be the assistant coach of a girls' soccer team, which he only agrees to because it will give Sue a chance to play. [yay, Sue!] However, then the coach has a big work project and has to leave Mike in charge. He's not really ready to deal with the drama that is teen girls, but he tries. [hard, for Mike!] However, then the parents start bothering Mike for various reasons, so he does the same thing that happened to him and gets someone to become the assistant, then leaves him alone with the crazy. [ha!] Mike even joins the original coach in stalking the games from a van! [this was a little bit over-the-top!]

There's a stench in the house that the family cannot locate, and it turns out to be Brick. Frankie takes him to the drugstore to let him pick out some hygienic products, but he overdoes it and Mike has to show him what's appropriate usage. [this was a random storyline, I thought.]

Axl and Hutch try to figure out what the painting from Cassidy means, and decide to ask girls on the floor what they think. The disagree on the interpretation, but it also gets them interested in Axl, who winds up calling Cassidy to figure out if he's about to cheat on her... only to sadly realize that she has moved on from him. [:(] 

Top Ten Memorable Video Gamers on Television

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Guess what? We're getting a new writer! J. Adams will be joining TheTalkingBox's staff starting tomorrow. You might remember that, a while back, we looked at a few television technologies and did some writing about not just what you watch on TV, but what you watch TV on. Well, how about other things that you DO with your TV? The list is quite impressive at this point, but our new writer will be focusing on video games, as a vast majority of those are played through consoles connected to televisions. We'll be starting with a look back on some video game history, but you can look forward to game reviews, recommendations, retrospectives, and more.

So, in celebration of this new branch to our site, today we take a look at some of the most memorable instances of video gamers on television - did you realize just how many shows depict characters playing video games at one time or another? Sometimes they're single episodes (like the Scrubs gang playing Unreal Tournament III or Kovac's impulse buy on ER), but other times they are regular activities for the characters, so let's dive right in and take a look. If we missed somebody you think should have made the cut, let us know in the comments!

10. Frasier "The Apparent Trap" (S07E09): Now, Frasier's son, Frederick, plays both console games and handheld games when visiting from Boston, but this episode sticks out in my mind because Niles repeatedly dies in the intro level. It's not rocket science, but the sitcom has built both Frasier and Niles into being so deficient in anything "normal" kids did (remember the later episode where Daphne has to teach them to ride bicycles?) that the character just dies as soon as Niles takes the controller. 

9. Friends "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel" (S08E12): Yeah, okay, the "main" story may have been about Joey and Rachel exploring their feelings for one another, but the memorable plotline is that Phoebe's wedding gift to Monica and Chandler finally arrives. She decided to present them with a retired arcade game, Ms. Pac-Man. While Phoebe and Monica are fiercely competitive initially, it's unemployed Chandler who becomes obsessed, ultimately filling the Best Scores board with dirty words. The clinching moment of the episode, however, is a tie between Chandler realizing that his hand is now cramped into a joystick position and Ross's son Ben walking in to hear Phoebe's diarrhea-of-the-mouth when she loses.

8. Seinfeld "The Frogger" (S09E18): This episode is remarkably close to the end of the iconic show, but it offers some great gaming moments. Not only is George obsessive about making sure his "top score" is preserved, but he also takes on the challenge of maneuvering the arcade game in traffic as if he were the frog in the classic game. Add in an overhead view and some cheesy sound effects and we've got ourselves an adult taking a game all too seriously. 

by pacman1990 at GIFSoup

7. How I Met Your Mother "The Third Wheel" (S03E03): Barney and Marshall are so engrossed in a game of Wii Tennis that they're actually not going to go down to MacLaren's. But wait, it gets better. As the trash talk begins to mount, Marshall removes his pants for "freedom and mobility" and Barney switches into British mode, using words like "crumpet" and "bangers and mash" to distract Marshall. Lily comes home and is there when Ted calls to announce he's got a "tricycle" building, and everyone needs to clear the apartment. While it would have been funnier if the men had refused to give up their game for the tricycle, they honor the Bro Code and hide to give Ted and the ladies the apartment.

6. Step by Step "Video-Mania" (S03E06): This is really an episode about perfectionism, which may explain why I'm particularly drawn to it. See, Mark, the brainy boy in the family, receives an "A" on an assignment. Normally, that would be great, but for children accustomed to seeing "A+" at the top of their papers, it causes some alarm. Stepfather Frank thinks that playing a video game will help Mark with his stress. Unfortunately, Mark can't enjoy the game for what it is; he makes it a constant competition with himself - to get to the next level, to have the highest score - and is soon up all night mashing the buttons. Frank and Carol wind up taking him to a support group for video game addicts, and BAM! he's cured.

5. Futurama "Anthology of Interest II" (S04E03): The Professor's "What If" Machine allows Fry to see what life would be like if it were a video game. Well, in the sub-story "Raiders of the Lost Arcade," Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Mario, and Space Invaders are all showcased in one way or another. This episode is particularly interesting because Fry must personally battle the Space Invaders as if the world depended on it - and I think that a lot of us can relate to the endscene, where Fry admits that he could never get the final one... his brother always did it for him.

photo credit: Futurama and Matt Groening

4. House: The brilliant doctor plays anything and everything - Metroid Zero Mission, Metroid Prime Hunters, MX vs. ATV, Ninja Gaidan II, racing games, and a couple of handheld consoles come to mind. Oh, and that one with the apes - it looked cool, though I think SavageScape was fictional. House plays alone, with Wilson on the weekends, and with Taub at work. Taub and Foreman also played games together when they were roommates. While there aren't specific episodes that come to mind, video games were showcased throughout several seasons of the show, and I particularly liked how they infiltrated work and home. 

3. Clarissa Explains it All: I may be wrong, but just about every episode I can remember had Clarissa DESIGNING her own video games. Yes, sometimes all she'd do is put her brother's head on something and kill it, but she was always creating thematic screens. But is was 1991-1994, and Clarissa was a girl, so Nickelodeon was really being a little edgy with writing her into being able to do such advanced stuff when she was 14 and the Super Nintendo was just coming out. Talk about girl power! 

2. South Park "Make Love, Not Warcraft" (S10E08): Yes, the kids do play video games on a multitude of platforms throughout the series. BUT, I don't know how you could argue that their most memorable gamer episode is when Kyle, Kenny, Stan, and Cartman become obsessed with World of Warcraft and killing a specific player, who has become drunk with power. The references to guys doing nothing but playing games for 21 hours a day for months on end are ridiculous - the kids are all overweight and acne-ridden, they survive off of energy drinks and hot pockets, and they use words like "pwned" in real life. In the end, they're able to defeat the "Griefer" and are happy that they can "finally play the game." Hardcore, my friends. 

southparkstudios.com

1. The Big Bang Theory: The guys are all into video gaming and even Penny plays a few times, showing some great beginner's aptitude. They're big on Halo, RockBand, and Age of Conan, though others certainly make appearances. Heck, there's a whole episode about Sheldon's World of Warcraft account getting hacked and someone stealing his ostrich, leading our favorite physicist to call the police, though it's Penny who delivers a swift kick to the thief's groin and gets back Sheldon's stuff. It's also good to note that the guys believe in owning every geeky item out there, so they don't discriminate when it comes to XBox vs. PS3 vs. PC games, allowing them to fully embrace the many gaming options available to them. And, with this series still going on, you can pretty much bet that we haven't seen the end of their gaming episodes! 

Throwback Thursday: Elaine's Airport Route

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Seinfeld peppers the syndication world on several different channels these days. I feel like I see it on the guide at least once a day. It's one of those shows that I came to long after it ended, and I enjoy seeing a funny episode every now and then when reruns are the best thing that's on the tube. 

Not long ago, "The Busboy" episode was on, which is about how George gets a busboy fired, then makes his life pretty crappy before everyone realizes that he really saves his life. But, in a sidestory, Elaine's boyfriend is visiting from Seattle, and she gets sick of him. They oversleep when he's supposed to leave, and she drives like a maniac to get him to the airport. Her monologue about the way she drove amuses me to no end. I'm almost on the edge of my seat each time I hear it. So, I thought I would share it with you today. I couldn't find a clip of the show, but here's a sketched version someone did, the monologue still in place:  

cropped with SnipSnip

If you'd like to see the entire episode, go here, the monologue beings about 16:30.

More FOX Renewals; Charlie Sheen on Entourage?

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

There will be a Glee 3D movie.

Negotiations didn't work out, so Katie Couric won't have her own CBS talk show.

Ted Nugent will be running for President next year... on The Simpsons.

Teen Mom got renewed for a 4th season... and, bonus.... season 3 will begin July 5th.

House faced a lot of potential issues in getting renewed, like the licensing fees, but it ultimately was renewed. However, the actors who play Foreman and Cuddy likely took a pay cut.

Some people think that maybe Netflix will come in and pick-up Lie to Me, which still hasn't been cancelled or renewed.

As we reported earlier this week, Jerry Seinfeld can't stand to watch Seinfeld.

Charlie Sheen wants to do a show on another network, since things aren't working out well over at CBS. Entourage wants him for their final season.

Bristol Palin will get a reality show on BIO.

I've been enjoying the new show, Pregnant in Heels. Crazy things like this are fun for me. Parodies are even starting to develop.

Family Guy and The Cleveland Show both got renewed.

MTV UK is going to have Geordie Shore, a British adaptation of Jersey Shore. Read this in Entertainment Weekly, and I must share their commentary with you! "Finally, a version of Jersey Shore in which people speak English!" hahahaha.

Random Thoughts: Characters with Cars in NYC

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

So I watch Seinfeld in the afternoons sometimes. It comes on at 3pm here in California, and it'll be on as I'm writing or folding laundry or whatever. Last week, I managed to catch an episode where George was driving. He owns a car. Kramer also owns a car. So does Jerry. I don't believe that Elaine does, but the fact that 3/4 of the main characters on the show have cars is weird. And, I'm not sure why they have them. Jerry, maybe... I assume he probably had some stand-up gigs in Jersey or upstate or whatnot. But with the price of parking and insurance and the few times you'd use a car in NYC, I just don't see why they all have cars!

And it's not just Seinfeld. On Friends, Monica has a car in the later seasons (her dad's Porsche), Phoebe has her grandmother's taxicab, and Ross has a sportscar in one episode (though I imagine he returned it, since we never hear of it again). The taxi comes in handy on several occasions, and Monica only has a car because it was a gift of sorts... so these are much more justified. But, on most shows, those who live in Manhattan are car-less, which I think is much more believable. Will and Grace don't have cars. Marshall used to, but now none of the How I Met Your Mother gang have cars. Paul and Jamie owned a parking spot but not a car. So it just seems weird to me that so many people on Seinfeld had cars. What do you think?

Another Seinfeld List

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Sometimes the joy of doing lists is simply nitpicking someone else's! So I caught this article in December 2010, looking at what they consider to be the 10 best Seinfeld episodes. They didn't have the same qualifiers that I do, like no holiday episodes and only one per season, so of course it makes sense that their list differs from mine. I was interested, however, in just how different it was. And, today I plan to pick apart their list, keeping mine in mind.

Theirs:
10. The Puffy Shirt. I hate this episode. It's really dumb, and the low-talker thing wasn't very interesting, either. The only positive thing to come from it is the appearance of the shirt-designer in the series finale, where they can't hear her on the stand.

9. The Rye. This episode is okay, but not really a storyline worth remembering, since I don't care about the majority of the episode (anything but Jerry stealing the loaf!).

8. The Hamptons. Not a fan of this one, either. The only reason anyone likes that episode is because of George's "I was in a pool" comment regarding shrinkage. whatever.

7. The Pick. In the Seinfeld canon, this one is kinda classic, since it's really the epitome of random nothingness. However, I could do without Elaine's nipply Christmas card and Jerry's neurotic thinking about nose-picking.

6. The Doorman. Same basic idea as The Pick. Jerry deals with being a doorman for fifteen minutes, Kramer's got a hair-brain scheme cooking about a male bra, and Elaine is house-sitting for Mr. Pitt. A few funny moments, incredibly random overall, but on the whole I found it to be average.

5. The Parking Garage. Now, here's an episode I can stand behind! I had a difficult time not choosing it as my own favorite for Season 3. Great concept, great execution.

4. The Pen. I'm rather upset at the inclusion of this episode. It's pretty boring - Elaine has a bad back and can't stand the heat of Florida (can't blame her), and Jerry accepted a special pen that's causing commotion in his parents' community. No George or Kramer.

3. The Chinese Restaurant. After just complaining about there being no George or Kramer in an episode, I do need to state that you don't necessarily need all four of the characters to have a great episode. The Chinese Restaurant doesn't have Kramer, but is still pretty hilarious. I support it making their list.

2. The Soup Nazi. I'm not a big fan of The Soup Nazi, because the concept kind of irks me (though I do "get it." I've been to restaurants where being "in the know" helps you a great deal). And, Elaine giving away the recipes in the end is kind of unfair.

1. The Contest. I've never been a fan of "The Contest" because the mere fact that this group talks about such things grosses me out. End of story. To place it at the very top is ridiculous.

So, do you agree with their selections? How would you nitpick them? How would you nitpick mine?

Drinking to Seinfeld

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

This is the final installment in the Drinking Game series. With the holiday season already on top of us, I'm planning to return Wednesdays to updates of holiday episodes and specials, like I did last year. So, feel free to suggest new "lists" and other ideas for new Wednesday series starting in January! I may put up a poll after I get a couple of ideas, so if you don't regularly visit the actual site, I'll let you know when that goes up so you can head over. :)

Seinfeld is a pretty funny show, but it definitely had a time and place, which I don't think would work as well if it was in first-run now. In the days of cell phones, many of their storylines about misunderstandings, answering machines, and not knowing who called would be moot. Still it's funny, it runs often, and makes for an excellent drinking game. I did mention some of my favorite episodes a while back, but these suggestions work for the whole series.

Take a drink whenever:
- all four main characters are together
- Kramer busts into Jerry's room
- the phone rings
- we hear the theme song or part of it
- Jerry is doing stand-up
- George's baldness is mentioned or alluded to
- Elaine is wearing glasses
- Kramer has a new money scheme
- someone tells a lie or doesn't reveal the whole truth
- someone gets injured (even mildly) or just goes to the doctor/dentist/etc.

Take two drinks whenever:
- Kramer's friend, Mickey
- we see parents
- we see Newman
- someone runs into someone they know accidentally

10 Best TV Weddings that Didn't Happen

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

you know. when the characters are set to get married but something doesn't go as planned. [My apologies to those who may have received this before it was finished - I had an internet problem.]

This isn't an original thought of mine... I saw another list done here recently, but I have different ideas of what should be at the top of the list (and my list is a top ten, LoL). Keep in mind, this is based off of shows that I watch, so things like Hayden & Christine on Coach aren't gonna make the cut, regardless of how interesting that may have been.

10. Danny & Vicky on Full House. They show up so low on the list because I never really warmed up to Vicky. Sure, Danny and the kids liked her, but I kinda wished Danny would have made it with Cindy (about two seasons before Vicky showed up, LoL), plus then we'd have Rusty in the picture for the girls to contend with.






9. Sam & Diane on Cheers. I think I would be more intrigued by Frasier & Diane, but I haven't seen any episodes that dealt with that. Anyway, Sam and Diane have a tortured history, and several really bad breakups along the way. It makes the list today because Diane left with the promise to return after she finished her novel... even though Sam knows it'll never happen.

8. Will & Lisa on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I liked Lisa a lot, but didn't think she was right for Will. But I think she does make a good sister to him. That's right. The second time the couple tried to wed (the first was the Shaft wedding in Vegas), they called it off and their respective parents married each other. Strangely, Lisa is never seen again.

7. Ted & Stella on How I Met Your Mother. We all kinda knew that Stella couldn't be the mother of Ted's children (it just didn't seem logical), but it would've been interesting if he had a first wife before the mother, LoL. Stella leaves Ted for her ex-husband and father of her child, and Ted is devastated. I'll never forget how sad he looks on the ferry boat.





6. Luke & Lorelai on Gilmore Girls. They belong together. Truly. From their first interactions, I think many fans wanted them to come together. It took four seasons for them to kiss, another for the engagement, and sadly it comes to a close when Lorelai doesn't want to wait any longer, and Luke does. Then there's an awkward phase (that seemed like forever!) before the two seem to rekindle in the series finale. It could've been a beautiful marriage.

5. George & Susan on Seinfeld. I think this one wins in the comedy department. It all starts when George & Jerry decide to "grow up" and settle down. But, when George decides he doesn't want to get married after all, he tries like HELL to break up with Susan. She turns into the world's most-accepting woman and puts up with everything he does. The only way the wedding gets called off is because she dies, poisoned by the glue on the wedding invitations. Classic.

4. Sabrina & Aaron on Sabrina, The Teenage Witch. Yeah, yeah. You probably stopped watching that show about the time Sabrina went off to college and lived with Soleil Moon Frye, LoL. But, it kept going for several years, and she eventually meets a guy named Aaron in the (middle of the) final season (although I think she would've been better with Josh!). They date for about 5 episodes, are engaged for about 5 episodes, and then she calls it off because she realizes that Harvey is her soul mate. Best part of the wedding? Zelda is a candle so Sabrina's mother can attend her daughter's wedding.

3. Donny & Daphne on Frasier. I never liked Donny (I wanted Niles to have her and be happy, LoL), and was surprised when the pair got engaged. This episode gets ranked so highly purely because of the craziness that takes place in the wedding episodes. Not only are Daphne's brothers so much more than a handful, Niles and Daphne constantly being interrupted by one thing or another. And, let's not forget, the moment on the balcony where we were all pulling for dear, sweet Niles, was one of the most dramatic scenes EVER.





2. Brandon & Kelly on Beverly Hills, 90210. These two went through a million different problems through the years. They first seriously consider marriage at the end of Season 5, miscarry at the end of Season 7, get engaged toward the end of Season 8, and the wedding goes awry in the Season 8 finale. Really, the couple just decides that they have too many doubts. But they were TOO CUTE together! And Jim and Cindy's return to see it happen was great. And as much as I liked her with Dylan, he could have Brenda. I really wanted Brandon and Kelly to work out. In fact, I think I still do (I don't watch the newest spin-off, but I hear Brandon has made an appearance... and Kelly is a regular...).

1. Simon & Rose on 7th Heaven. She was all wrong for him. I don't know that many people were pulling for them at all! But, it was still an amazing set-up. And the fact that they still had the party without the wedding was fun, because we heard about the three oldest children all expecting twins! It made for an interesting (faux) series finale, and for a crazy start to what became the final season (poor Lucy and her miscarriages).

who's missing?

Favorite Episodes: Seinfeld

So I was never a Seinfeld fan when it aired originally. I wasn't even a fan when it began airing regularly on TBS and the like. Honestly, I only got into Seinfeld at the very end of my graduate coursework. But, I've seen every episode now, and many of them twice (since there's not really anything else on when my husband first gets home from work and likes to relax, LoL). Choosing favorites from various seasons was only slightly tricky (in comparison to other shows I've been working on, LoL), and it became clear that seasons 3 and 4 are my favorites. There's also a website somewhere where you can watch ALL of the episodes (I made my way through them this way), but I can't seem to find it anymore. Anyway, without further ado:

Season 1: "The Stake Out." I actually was under the impression that this was the first episode, when in fact it is the second. I think TBS airs it often, since I've seen it about five times. Jerry and Elaine are at a dinner party, and Jerry flirts with a woman he doesn't know. He doesn't know her name, but he knows where she works. He doesn't want to ask Elaine about her, so he decides to try hanging out around the building hoping to run into her, and that works. Clip from near the beginning:


Season 2: "The Pony Remark." Jerry and Elaine are again at a dinner party, where Jerry mentions that he hates anyone who had a pony growing up. Turns out that the hostess had a pony, and she ends up dying shortly thereafter. Jerry feels guilty, and has to decide between going to her funeral and playing in a championship softball game. Oh, and Kramer wants to build levels in his apartment... Jerry bets he won't do it... and when Kramer doesn't follow through, he argues that the bet was invalidated since he never attempted it, LoL. Ep in full.

Season 3: "The Subway." This is the first full-length season of Seinfeld. And, as such, it was really difficult for me to make this decision (especially considering that "The Parking Garage" is such a good episode as well!). But, each character has a separate (and funny) storyline in this one, so that's why it won out. George is headed to a job interview but gets seduced, robbed, and tied up instead. Kramer is going to pay parking tickets but ends up betting on a horse race before an undercover cop saves him. Elaine is supposed to be in a wedding, but gets claustrophobic after train delays. Jerry is heading out to Coney Island and becomes friends with a nudist. Yeah, good times.
Elaine:
George:
Kramer:

Season 4: "The Movie." I really consider this to be a classic Seinfeld episode. Totally slice-of-life, and fitting to the theme "a show about nothing." Basically, the characters are in a comedy of errors. They plan on seeing a movie together. Jerry is supposed to do two comedy acts, but when he misses the first one, he tried to tell everyone he won't make it (he actually goes to the theater to do this, since it's still 1993 and nobody has a cell phone yet except Zach Morris, LoL). The others all get separated (and have a devil of a time trying to describe what the others look like), and only Kramer sees the originally-intended movie. There are a ton of links for this one, but none actually work in the US, LoL. So, here's the script.

Season 5: "The Stall." It's really an episode about voices. Jerry is dating someone whose voice reminds Kramer of a phone sex operator. Elaine is screwed out of toilet paper by a woman who she later hears in Monk's, so she steals her toilet paper in return. (oh, the infamous "I don't have a square to spare," LoL.) Oh, and Elaine's boyfriend gets injured badly while rockclimbing with George and Kramer. I can only offer you the tiniest of clips, but it is the one for which the episode is named.


Season 6: "The Secretary." George hires an ugly secretary so he won't sleep with her. But that doesn't work. Elaine believes that a store has "skinny mirrors" and tries to see what clothes look like on her in other ways. Kramer gets Uma Thurman's phone number, but he writes it down on Jerry's dry-cleaning slip. Jerry realizes his dry-cleaner's wife is wearing clothes he dropped off, so he confronts the situation. Kramer sells the clothes off his back in the dressing room. Such a funny episode, but I've never understood why the title places the emphasis on George's storyline, LoL. Full Ep.

Season 7: "The Pool Guy." George freaks out when Elaine and Susan become friends. Kramer's new phone number is very close to Moviefone (omg, remember that!!?!?), so he starts giving out movie times. Jerry sees the pool guy at the movies, and then can't get rid of him. Unfortunately, the best clip only deals with George (and Elaine to a certain extent), and that's the worst of the three.
Here's a funny Kramer (and George) clip, lmao:

Season 8: "The Bizarro Jerry." Elaine is dating a guy kinda like Jerry, and meets his friends, who are similar to Kramer and George, and even Newman. It freaks everyone out, but in the end there are certain differences that Elaine can't get over, so she goes back to her normal crowd. Meanwhile, Jerry dates a woman with large, bulky hands. Kramer uses a restroom in a skyscraper and gets roped into working there, causing him all sorts of problems. Lastly, George uses a photo of the woman Jerry's dating to get others to like him, acting like his dead fiance was gorgeous. As always, his plan eventually backfires. Two clips, the first handles some of Kramer's storyline.

This is actually like the episode broken up with some commentary, but it's not bad.

Season 9: "The Strong Box." Jerry is going to make some jokes about a pair of Jerry Lewis cufflinks. He allows Kramer to put them in his new strongbox, but Kramer is paranoid about someone finding the key. Kramer ends up putting the key inside a neighbor's birdcage, but the bird eats the key and dies. Kramer and Jerry are forced to dig up the grave to get the key to open the box, which doesn't bode well for being friendly to the new neighbors. Plus, George tries to break up with a woman who just won't allow that to happen. Full Ep. But the quality is poor, so here's a clip.

Favorite Christmas Episodes, Part II

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Seinfeld: ''The Strike.'' (1993) It might as well be titled "Festivus" as that's what everyone remembers this one as. Elaine is busy trying to get a frequent-buyer sub card back from a guy she gave a fake number to. George is trying to hide the fact that his family celebrates a unique winter holiday, and Kramer takes an avid interest in bringing back Festivus. Kramer's bagel union stops striking after twelve years so Kramer goes back to work. PLUS, George gets out of spending money on office Christmas gifts by making donations to a fake charity... which works out until the boss wants to donate, too! oh, and Jerry's dating a girl who has a beautiful side and an ugly side. The included clip shows the Festivus celebration among other things.


Family Guy: ''A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas.'' (2001) This episode looks a lot earlier on than it was. Lois is completely in the Christmas spirit, but Peter isn't, really. She eventually gets him to do some of the Christmas chores, but he goes overboard and messes things up. Meanwhile, there's a funny sidestory about KISS saving Santa. Stewie tries to figure out how Santa can watch all of the children in the whole world at once. To make things worse, Brian burns down the living room and kitchen. Lois eventually goes crazy and the family is left at a loss... which leaves Peter to fix everything and he actually manages to. I believe the whole episode is embedded below. [originally I embedded the scene where Peter is trying to park the car, but the video has since been removed.]

Boy Meets World: "Family Trees." It's hard to tell this is a Christmas episode, but there is a Santa and wreaths and things at one point. Shawn finds out Verna wasn't his mom, and that sets him off in a world of lost. He tries hard to find other family members online. It's Alan's birthday and the family is trying to plan a surprise party. In the end, Alan offers to adopt Shawn formally.


Step by Step: "Christmas Story." (1993) Cody decorates his van and the yard, using Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, and Alex Trebek as the wisemen, haha. Don Knotts plays a policeman when Frank and Carol are out at the toy store in the wee hours of Christmas morning. While the second half has some funny lines, the first half is more all-encompassing.


The Jeffersons: "The Christmas Wedding." (1976) Lionel and Jenny are having all kinds of problems planning their wedding... no thanks to their feuding fathers. So, Louise and Helen stage a wedding rehearsal in the living room... only it's the real thing!

The Top 10 Unseen Television Characters

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

you know. the characters which never appear, but are often referenced. They might even speak, but no face is ever given to the name. Some shows use this convention more than others, but there are definitely some memorable characters which have no formal physical appearance.

10. Charlie Brown's Teacher (Peanuts), whose voice is created by a trombone (although someone once told me it was actually a muted trumpet, so that may also be the case). She's the one animated character to make the list, and I think it may be because the "voice" amused me from a young age.

9. The Gooch (Diff'rent Strokes), Arnold's foil. Bet you forgot about him, eh? Well, he was mentioned plenty of times... teasing Arnold, daring Arnold, fighting with Arnold, all sorts of childhood mischief.

8. Cousin Jeffrey (Seinfeld), the one that Uncle Leo is always bragging about. He was rumored to have kissed one of Jerry's girlfriends. He worked for the Park (Central Park, maybe? I'm not sure) and once got Jerry some concert tickets. Considering how often other members of Jerry's family were seen, I'm completely unsure as to why we didn't see Jeffrey even once.

7. Dr. Kahn (Salute Your Shorts), the camp director whom none of the characters seem to have seen, either. His voice was heard over the loudspeaker (almost) every episode, and Counselor Ug seems quite afraid of him.

6. Vera Peterson (Cheers), Norm's wife. You might argue that she shouldn't be on this list, since her legs are on camera, and I believe her torso is seen once as well. But Norm speaks of her semi-regularly, and the other characters seem to have a grasp of her as well, so she still counts as unseen.

5. Heather Sinclair (Degrassi: The Next Generation), Holly J's older sister, who is pretty much everyone's enemy. Paige specifically doesn't like her, but many of the characters talk about Heather in an unpleasant tone throughout the show.

4. George Steinbrenner (Seinfeld), George Costanza's boss while he worked for the Yankees. We see the back of his large office chair, and hear him speak almost constantly (his voice is not by the real George Steinbrenner). I wonder if that's why we don't see him... because he is an actual person and didn't want to be on the show.


3. Stanley Walker (Will & Grace), Karen's rich and obese husband. Technically you see his feet and hands at separate times, but he's talked about a crazy amount of time without actually ever being seen. His character ends up with quite the storyline, including jail, (faked) death, divorce, and financial difficulties.

2. Maris Crane (Frasier), Niles' first wife. She's spoken of throughout all eleven seasons, although she and Niles divorced several years into the show. She specifically was never seen because it became too difficult to properly portray her due to all of the crazy attributes which she gathers throughout the series.

1. Alma Borland (Home Improvement), Al's often-ridiculed mother. Since Al and his brother Cal look so much alike, and it's made clear that one takes after the mother and one takes after the father, mom & dad must also look quite similar. That, and Tim's frequent teasing of Al about his mother's size (among other things) really made me want to see how they'd cast her. Alas, it never happened, despite the fact that Al had two planned weddings.


The other major contenders: The Gibblers (Full House), Kimmy's family, that includes two parents, an older brother, and possibly three sisters. Dr. Claw (Inspector Gadget), the guy always plotting against Inspector Gadget. Nanny (Muppet Babies), although we do see her striped socks. Mr. & Mrs. Urkel (Family Matters), Steve's parents. Sparky (M*A*S*H), the radio operator. The Ditmeyer Family (Brady Bunch), the neighbors to Mike, Carol, and family.

"20 Killable Characters?"

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

so today's topic stems from today's news. One of the first things I read this morning was "Top 20 Sitcom Characters You'd Kill in Real Life." And I must say that I severely disagree. We must have very different opinions on personas, the other blog writer and I. I'm going to argue why I wouldn't kill the character, rather than nitpick on why the other writer would.

20. Frasier Crane. Awesome guy to have around in real life. He knows EVERYTHING. Definitely worth a phone-a-friend slot on Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

19. Joey Gladstone. While I wouldn't want to moocher living in my home for an extended period of time, he's pretty darn funny. The common sense, notsomuch, but I'm not worried about him diapering my imaginary baby with paper towels and ziplocs, so no worries.

18. Larry David. I've never seen Curb Your Enthusiasm, and I don't even know when it was on (is it still??), so no comment.

17. Cosmo Kramer. clearly the blogwriter has no spontaneous friends in his life. I love the craziness of people like my friend Joe, and their unexpected popping in and continual "great ideas" are something to be admired.

16. Marie Barone. I'm gonna agree here. The woman has no redeeming qualities. Hell, when she wanted more grandchildren, she bought her son wine and silk boxers, and gave his wife romantic CDs! Does pushy get much worse?

15. Archie Bunker. Agreed again. I can't stand his closed-minded bullsh!t. It drives me insane. In fact, I tried to get into this show at one point when it was big on Nick-at-Nite, but it just wasn't happening. Bigotry blows.

14. Carlton Banks. I think he's quirky. I also love perfectionists. I can relate to the idea of "all-nighters" in high school. He doesn't strike me as incredibly annoying, especially when you consider his stupid jokes ended after the first season, and became much more bearable.

13. Roseanne Connor. Sure, she's foul-mouthed. And I don't know that I'd want her as my mother. But I don't think that she's a bad person, and while I'd much rather have Jackie as a friend, I don't know that she'd truly "annoy" me.

12. Cindy Brady. Little sisters can be annoying, but Cindy never had any real storylines of her own (what, the tonsils thing? losing Kitty Cariole? the see-saw record with Bobby? what else was there?), so she really didn't have a major role. In a real-life scenario, there's not much harm in having a baby sister when there are already enough siblings to make you miserable from time to time.

11. Sheldon Cooper. I still have not seen even one minute of The Big Bang Theory, so I can't comment.

10. Phoebe Buffay. What? seriously? I'd love to have her as a daily plant in my life! I love to hear about the lives of those who grew up in crazy-different backgrounds. I love the unconventional hairstyles and clothing choices she had. Please, pour me a mocha and sit me on the couch, there's no way I'd off Phoebe.

9. Michael Scott. He's from the office, and I'm guessing he's Steve Carell's character. But I still don't know a thing about him.

8. Kimmy Gibbler. hmmm. now this is a toughie. She was pretty annoying on the show, and if she was my friend/neighbor in real life, I'm pretty sure it would drive me mad. Especially when you consider the crazy things that her family did, that would annoy anyone in a mile radius!

7. Lucy Ricardo. See here's the thing... yeah, she was a pretty big ditz, but women weren't portrayed as the pinnacle of intelligence at that time anyway. Either way, she was whiny, and I don't deal with that. agree.

6. Fred G. Sanford. he's a really mean old man. a codger, even. but it's not like he leaves his house much, so he doesn't have a lost of opportunities to bother you. No killings.

5. Steve Urkel. Yeah, I could see how he could get on absolutely every last nerve, but death is not an appropriate sentence. Lock your doors, hide your daughters, and call it a day.

4. The Janitor. I don't do Scrubs.

3. Screech Powers. It sure is handy to have a friend who can concoct devices in the blink of an eye with very little to work with. It's also great to have a scapegoat who can pull the wool over the Principal's eyes. the only downside that's coming to mind? he can't keep a secret. but neither can several of my friends. so don't keep them filled in and you're good to go.

2. Fran Fine. this is a tricky one. She had a unique sense of mind. A flirty nature. An eccentric mother. A nasally voice. A tacky wardrobe. A skewed view of life. I think she's very "take it or leave it," since there's nothing that sets her apart on either end of the spectrum... she's just balanced out in the middle, plain as day.

1. Gilligan. In my world, I don't live on a deserted island ninety minutes from the nearest bit of civilization. So the buffoon's charm at foiling escape plans isn't as problematic for me. However, he does sort of embody a kind of immature nuisance that I don't know I'd want to deal with forever...

Overall, I disagree with this list a LOT. Who would I kill, you ask? Well, I'd start off with Taub from House, MD, because he's useless, spineless, and boring. Cheryl from 7th Heaven, she was dumb and had no ambition. Plus, she stopped Matt from being with nicer, prettier girls. And there's Beverly Hills, 90210, definitely Valerie Malone, hands down. I hated her from like the second episode she was in, and I really tried to like her, since I was a big Tiffani Amber-Thiessen fan in the 90s. What an evil, sinister girl. And to finish off the list, all four girls from Sex and the City: Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda. That show's attitude alone just kills me.