2017-2018 Network Prospects: Why Not?

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Where have I been? Well, around the time of the last post, I excitedly became pregnant. Later that month I signed a large contract for my other occupation that kept me very busy, from that point until about five months after the babies were born. Then, we moved across the country, and I have been filling my days with everything that goes along with navigating a new area (while learning to parent twin toddlers).

I'm not entirely sure what my blogging plans are at this point (I'm not sure if I have any press contacts left out there), but I've been looking forward to the new television season for several months now, and want an outlet to talk about the prospects. I didn't really ease up on my viewing, and have largely stayed up-to-date with all of the series I followed before (both broadcast network and cable). I actually even began a post last year, planning to discuss those pilots, but I never got around to finishing/publishing it.

Anyway, let's dive in. Expect my thoughts to be scatterbrained, as I'm rather out of practice at this point, and am more in the mindset of having fun than editing.

First, here are the pilots that interest me on each of the big five networks:
ABC: The Good Doctor, Kevin (Probably) Saves the World, Ten Days in the Valley, The Crossing, Deception.
CBS: 9JKL, Young Sheldon, Wisdom of the Crowd, By the Book, Me, Myself, and I.
The CW: Dynasty.
FOX: The Gifted, Ghosted, The Resident, LA to Vegas.
NBC: The Brave, Good Girls, Rise, A.P. Bio, and the return of Will & Grace (not really a pilot, per se).

That's 5 each on ABC, CBS, and NBC, with 4 on FOX and 1 on The CW. Technically, that makes perfect sense, when you look at the total airtime of each of those networks. It's actually not as simple as that, as the networks didn't all offer the same number of pilots, but moving on...

Looking at the programming schedule, those shows (save the ones that will begin in 2018) air as follows:
Sunday: 3
Monday: 5
Tuesday: 1
Wednesday: 2
Thursday: 1

I historically have huge conflicts with Monday shows, but generally don't have a lot on Sundays, so that's rather interesting. However, let's look at it in the scope of the returning network shows I'm tuning in to watch:
ABC: Fresh off the Boat, American Housewife, The Middle, Speechless, The Goldbergs, Black-ish.
CBS: Man with a Plan, Trial & Error, How to Get Away with Murder, Code Black, Scorpion, The Big Bang Theory.
The CW: Jane the Virgin.
FOX: Bob's Burgers.
NBC: Timeless, This is Us, Superstore.

Low on FOX, very heavy on CBS and ABC (I've been particularly drawn to ABC's programming as long as I can remember), average for NBC and The CW.

Add in the fall returns by day:
Sunday: 1
Monday: 1
Tuesday: 4
Wednesday: 3
Thursday: 3
Friday: 1

This is where I really start to get fired up and want to talk about the season! If we didn't have the technology to record multiple shows at once or to access them outside of the original broadcast, I'd be doomed. Not looking specifically at the different timeslots within primetime, I could be in some trouble. Four on Sunday night is weird (while four on Thursday night is expected), and six on each of Monday and Tuesday is insane! Five more on Wednesday means I would constantly be struggling to keep up at the water cooler by Thursday morning, but at least a measly one on Friday night would make it easier to plan movie nights to go see the latest soon-to-be-blockbuster. However, we're fortunate enough that we can watch three "hours" of television in just about two, thanks to the magic of fast-forwarding. And, in my own case, I don't see movies on their opening nights anymore; the amount of coordination that takes doubles when factoring in childcare!

If you're a longtime reader (not sure if any of those are left, honestly), you know that I always try out a large number of new shows in the fall, so a dozen does not scare me, but an additional 13 returning series really start to twist my mind a bit. 25 series to watch at least 2-3 episodes of (not factoring in which are sixty minutes rather than thirty!) makes for a bit of a daunting October (the fact that it's taking forever for shows to start is an entirely separate issue...). And that doesn't factor in which shows my husband will choose to watch with me (of the returning fall series, he's only a fan of Scorpion, Superstore, How to Get Away with Murder, Man with a Plan, and Bob's Burgers), and which he'll need time to view on his own (he really only picks three or four pilots each year, but they're generally different from my own choices).

Fortunately, my boys are phenomenal sleepers, so between their almost-three-hour nap and the eleven hours they sleep at night, I think I can fit it all in. I guess only time will tell.

RETURNING: The Middle: The Start of the Year of Sue

I can’t believe that this series is in its sixth season already! I’m glad that it still feels fresh, and the characters are developing appropriately, but I’m also pretty curious as to what sorts of trouble the Hecks will get into this year! It’ll undoubtedly be a big year for Sue, who I really hope will be able to leave the nest and go away to school when she graduates, but I imagine for Brick as well. The youngest Heck didn’t really come out of his shell as he entered middle school, but now that he’s had his own room for a year, he might be starting to become more comfortable in discovering his non-reading passions, which would open up new opportunities for him. I’d like to see Axl get a new girlfriend, but I bet he’s going to be partying it up now that he’s off-campus. For Frankie and Mike, I imagine it’ll be a lot of the same ol’, same ol’, but I imagine their wonky families will again pop in here and there.

facebook.com/TheMiddle

The Middle "Unbraceable You" (S06E01): Boss Co. did landscaping over the summer, Brick took up croquet, and Sue counted down until she could get her braces off. [haha, I like croquet.] Axl and Brick’s hobbies seemed to be fleeting however, though Sue’s determination comes through (as always). In fact, Frankie demands the orthodontist remove Sue's braces after eight years, and the Hecks celebrate with candy and popcorn for dinner. [I would expect nothing less!] However, a day or two later, Sue’s teeth begin to shift, and she has to get a retainer. [I thought retainers were kinda standard for people who had braces?] On the bright side, she sees it as being completely different and her confidence level goes way up.

Sue really needed a win, however, because school sure got off to a rocky start for her. Frankie was a week off in realizing when the first day was, causing both Sue and Brick to immediately fall behind. [um, Sue doesn’t have a countdown to school starting? Carly and Brad didn’t bother to figure out where she was?!?] While Sue is crushed that she’s missed so many sign-ups, Brick struggled to figure out what he’d like to carry his books in this year. He tries a dragging messenger bag, a guitar case, and a baby carrier before settling on a pizza delivery bag he found in the dumpster. [hmmm… intriguing little gag.]

Axl has his own coming-of-age situation when he beats Mike at basketball for the first time, causing a rift in the father-son hierarchy. Fortunately, however, together they can still beat other father-son duos. [I was half wondering if Axl set up that neighborhood game, so I was kind glad that it didn’t come off that way.]

New Season, New Format

We're changing up our episode recaps and remarks for the new television season, mainly to shift our focus to covering new series and specials before they air rather than after. We believe this will help you make more fitting choices as to what to watch, and it will also help out our subscribers not to receive as many articles about shows they potentially have no interest in, as our current lineup is very broad.

But, we're not dropping recaps with remarks completely. We will still cover pilots we deem promising, and we'll be writing about holiday episodes of those and of our returning favorites. Plus, we are continuing to cover some series in their entirety, particularly cable shows that are tougher for you to catch up on elsewhere. What does this mean for your favorite show? For all of the series we were currently recapping, here are their fates:

                                                      16 & Pregnant: regular posting
                                                      19 Kids & Counting: regular posting
                                                      2 Broke Girls: holidays and special episodes only
                                                      Bob's Burgers: holidays and special episodes only
                                                      Buddy's Bakery Rescue: discontinued
                                                      Cake Boss: regular posting
                                                      Cake Boss: Next Great Baker: fate to be determined if series is renewed
                                                      Falling Skies: discontinued
                                                      Girl Meets World: regular posting
                                                      Hot in Cleveland: holidays and special episodes only
                                                      Instant Mom: holidays and special episodes only
                                                      Last Man Standing: holidays and special episodes only
                                                      Little People, Big World: regular posting
                                                      Melissa & Joey: holidays and special episodes only
                                                      Mistresses: fate to be determined if series is renewed
                                                      South Park: regular posting
                                                      Switched at Birth: regular posting
                                                      Teen Mom 2: regular posting
                                                      The Big Bang Theory: holidays and special episodes only
                                                      The Exes: regular posting
                                                      The Goldbergs: holidays and special episodes only
                                                      The Middle: holidays and special episodes only
                                                      Under the Dome: fate to be determined if series is renewed
                                                      White Collar: holidays and special episodes only

what do you think of the posting schedule? sad to be losing regular updates? excited for more new program coverage? 

SEASON FINALE: The Middle: The Hecks Go to Florida

We're fresh off a five-day trip to NYC, which some might have considered rather overbooked. This is a habit of mine... if there's a way to plan out vacations in advance, I have a tendency to figure out what's going on every hour of our recreation. Well, back when I was 12, my mom had a HS friend visiting, and she took us all to Magic Kingdom for a day. It's the only time I've been to a theme park with both of my siblings, but as my sister wasn't even in kindergarten yet, she was too small to ride some of the classics. Still, we all had a great time, but I did over-research the park and tried to steer us to certain attractions at certain times, when, in hindsight, that may not have been the best way to go. Perhaps this is one of the reasons i love Sue Heck...

The Middle "Heck on a Hard Body" (S05E22): [the title is a play on "Hands on a Hard Body," the title of a 1997 documentary that was also a 2013 Broadway musical.] Mike has been helping Brick study for another spelling bee, so when a homeless Rusty shows up, they let him stay. [wow, look at that NFL crap!] The two share old stories in the car with Brick, who sadly comes in second, because Rusty had him throw it to win bets. [what the !?!?] Mike is upset that his son didn't get to win, but it doesn't bother Brick, who knew his uncle needed the money.

Axl's desk has gone missing, and he can't get his deposit back until it's found, so Frankie helps find it... being used for a beer pong game. Frankie is soon schooling the kids in the art of the game, which doesn't embarrass Axl for once. [what did Frankie go to college to do?]

Sue is determined to win a car by keeping her hand on it the longest. [hey, remember when Mad About You did that?] Brad also competes (for Sue), but he's the first one out. [you can't switch hands?? that really intensifies the situation!] Sue gets sunburned, has to stand on one foot for four hours, and winds up psyching out her final opponent to win... but the prize isn't a car. It's actually a car trip to Disney! [as much as I love Disney, I still would have wanted the car! also, that would have brought a very different population of competitors!]

The Middle "Orlando" (S05E23): Brick wants to meet his online girlfriend, who lives in North Carolina. He keeps pestering Mike and Frankie to stop on the way to Orlando, and Frankie eventually gives in after learning that Tanya has been talking to Brick for two months already and isn't turned off yet. [kinda sad that was the winning point.] Unfortunately, when they arrive, Brick announces that he dumped Tanya the night before, but they go in anyway. [the catfish suspicions were a bit much.] Brick and Tanya make up, but the families fight, so as soon as Brick gets his first kiss, the Hecks are on their way once more. [wonder if Tanya will make future mentions...]

Axl tried to pass his classes but is afraid that he'll still fail, so he turns to Sue for advice on how to accept failure. [ouch.] But, he gets all Bs and a B-, surprising himself and his parents. [and me, for what it's worth.] And, because of an earlier deal, the adult Hecks can't talk to their oldest son until September. When that doesn't work, they have to call him Sir Axl, Duke of Awesomeness. [and they stick with that??]

Sue meticulously counts down the 27 days until the Disney trip, and makes an 800-page binder of information for the trip. [in comparison, I think my notes were about 4 pages, handwritten. but this was a couple years before the average person had internet access at home.] Frankie and Mike worry about another trip with the kids, so Frankie institutes a calming word ("Orlando") to get everyone back in the vacation mindset when things get rough. [14 playlists??] The Hecks take turns driving, and everyone is worried about Sue getting behind the wheel. They decide to let her, but she scrapes up the driver's side of the car at a drive-thru. [omg, I am Sue Heck. I have also done this, thought not to the same extreme. but that's a story for another time.] She is forgiven, though, and drives the family the last leg of the drive. However, when they arrive, they learn that their tickets are for Disneyland...

ABC/Todd Anderson

The Middle "The Wonderful World of Hecks" (S05E24) [season finale]: [spotted a goof! there's an extra wearing a blue striped shirt who uses a Magic Band to get into the park in the line to the right of the Hecks who is then immediately in the line to the left of theHecks, holding a ticket to enter.] Frankie tries to talk the cast member into letting them in without the proper tickets, and, after sitting around in Guest Relations for a while, they make it inside Magic Kingdom.

Unfortunately, their problems are only just beginning. Sue almost immediately passes out, so they swing by the infirmary. Then, Brick goes missing, having gone shopping for a Mickey Ears hat. It takes him 90 minutes to choose a font and thread color, throwing off Sue's schedule and they head for Space Mountain instead of Jungle Cruise. However, the line is unexpectedly two hours long, so they move toward The Haunted Mansion, which has only a 15-minute wait... but Brick misplaces his hat, so they leave the line. After some backtracking, they learn that it was in his backpack the entire time. [I don't think I would have been very controlled after that!] They get some turkey legs, which they wolf down to get onto Thunder Mountain... but Sue hurts herself in the process, so it's back to the infirmary! [omg.] After that, Axl takes over and gets everyone in a line... out of the park. [how did they not see that coming??]

They head to the hotel, where they're given an upgrade that excites each member of the family. [I've never stayed on Disney park property, so I would have been excited regardless, LoL!] However, they love it so much that they sleep in until 3pm! Mike is itching to get to EPCOT, so once they're all in Magic Kingdom, an argument for the ages breaks out, and each goes their own way. Mike takes Frankie to the Paris in EPCOT, and after a few moments realizing that being alone isn't any fun, the Heck kids ride Splash Mountain together, then Test Track, and The Little Mermaid. [I've never been on that last one!] They find their parents and go for Mission Space and the fireworks to end the vacation.

The Middle: Sue isn't 12 anymore...

Sue is really growing up. She's thinking about college, planning her activities around dates with her boyfriend, and even sharing with her father what she's picturing for her "first time." Because of Sue's eternal optimism, conservative child-like fashion sense, and naivety about other students not liking her, it's a little tough to swallow that the middle Heck is growing up. Next season (I hope!) she'll be a senior in high school, and although she's a sweet girl who deserves a bright future, she's not getting a full-ride somewhere like her brother did... but she'll make sure that she's prepared to make it in college and life, a skill Axl sorely lacks. You'll notice I'm focused on her academic rather than social life, and with good reason... part of me stands by Mike... Darrin may be a "good guy," but he's 20 years old, which is a huge difference compared to Sue. I'm curious as to whether the "Christmas tree" comment is foreshadowing... let's hope not. (and not just because of Sue's allergy!]  

ABC/Michael Ansell

The Middle "The Optimist" (S05E20): Sue is starting to freak out about college, and has been working around the clock writing scholarship essays and studying SAT words. [I remember scholarship season! That really was a rough time... I think I spent $20 on stamps to mail applications!] When she gets turned down for one scholarship, Frankie worries and gets a Groupon for a janky spa. [so gross! I'm pretty sure I would have left and not gotten into that water!]
 
Frankie realizes that she never mailed some "reminder" cards for work, and the dentist's office has no patients. [how did they not see that coming in advance when the appointment book was empty?] She tries to remedy the situation, but she needs a few more lies to cover her. [the song thing was a bit too much of a stretch.]

Axl and Hutch are out of meal-plan points before the semester ends, but still want to bulk-up for spring football season, so they go raid the Hecks' kitchen, and eat all they can. [is this a glimpse into the future for Axl off the team?]

Brick says that he's having a rough time at school, so when Mike sees a girl messing with him, he yells at her. But, it turns out that Piper is one of Brick's only friends, and she now thinks of Mike as a bully. [how weird.] Mike apologizes to Brick, but Brick thinks Piper deserves the apology, and sets up a meeting between Mike and Piper at school, then the park, then a family restaurant with the girl's parents. [so weird!] When Mike actually apologizes, Piper doesn't take it well. 

The Middle "Office Hours" (S05E21): Frankie believes that the car has been stolen from the dentist's parking lot... until someone points out to Frankie that she parked in the back lot one day, and the car has been sitting there ever since! [ugh! I remember thinking someone stole my car once when I was in graduate school... turned out I went to the lot where I had parked it the day before, and remembered after like three seconds of panic, LoL.] The whole family makes fun of Frankie's memory, so she decides she won't help the family remember their lives anymore, and to have more time to herself and less on her plate, she establishes "office hours" between 5 and 6pm. [Sue has scoliosis?] Axl loses an apartment because he doesn't call Frankie earlier on a day that the deposit check is due, ending "office hours" because the kids have emergencies. [I liked how Frankie told Axl that she won't read him his notes but she'll fax them to him. where is that kid accessing a fax machine?] However, this puts Frankie's head clouds one more... so much so that she accidentally drives to her old job at the car dealership! [ha! I can't believe they re-created that set and brought in the actors for a ten-second shot! maybe they'll return again before the season is over?]

Darrin is hanging around the Heck house a lot, and to get them out of the living room, Mike lets her entertain him in her room, as long as they keep the door open. But, he still hears them being cute, so he sends them down to the basement. But, then he catches them making out (see above photo), and gives Darrin a sports analogy to tell him to keep his hands off Sue. Sue confronts her dad about it, and makes it clear that she's not trying to be intimate with Darrin, but she is going to kiss him.

Brick has elderly women from his book club over to the house. 

The Middle: Solving Problems

Have you guys seen the video, "It's Not About the Nail" ?? This episode of The Middle reminded me of that - Frankie just wants to tell Mike about what's bothering her, and Mike just wants to go out and solve all of his wife's problems. This is a video my husband and I reference often when venting, so the other one knows whether to come up with a solution, or just listen and nod, LoL. But, I digress. Back on The Middle, Axl needs someone to solve his problems for him - as his best ideas are still riddled with holes and require multiple strokes of luck to pan out. I mean, what if it had rained during the several days that the couch was in the woods? And that's just for starters!

The Middle "The Wind Chimes" (S05E19): It's the day after Prom, and Sue tells her family that she loves Darrin. [no surprise, really.] Frankie worries because Darrin has a friend with a one-year-old, so she gets Mike to forbid Sue to go to a party with him. Sue doesn't go, and Darrin asks Mike what the deal is. [I don't think this issue will keep popping up, do you?]

ABC/Michael Ansell

The Glossners have put up wind chimes, and they get on Frankie's nerves pretty quickly. The first night, Frankie yells out the window, which prompts. Rita Glossner to come over and yell, so Frankie apologizes. [still not a good sign, though!] Frankie then writes Rita a letter to ask if she'll take down the chimes, and drops them off with a box of chocolates. Instead, Rita throws the chocolates at the Heck's house, and calls Frankie a bully. [whoa!] Then, Rita puts up more chimes. [ha! should've seen that coming!] Mike brings home headphones to block the noise, and the family decides to sleep in the basement, but Mike winds up heading to the Glossners' to take down those chimes. However, Rita physically assaults Mike, who then retreats home to say Frankie makes him do too many things. [what?] But, she argues that he tries to be a hero all on his own. [see Nail comparison above!] Fortunately, the Glossner children end up smashing all of the chimes, so this won't be an ongoing problem!

Meanwhile, Brick calls a pretzel company to complain about the decrease in salt on their pretzels. The automated message asks if he has an idea for a product, so he leaves his name and number. But, each of Brick's ideas have already been done, or are terrible. He makes it his responsibility to come up with something - and he goes from product development to advertising to come up with a creative concept to share. [the cutest part was that he saw a ten-cent coupon as his first paycheck!]

Elsewhere, Axl and Hutch find a couch on the street and want to use it in their apartment next year, even though it is beat-up and missing a cushion. [I'm all for more Hutch on this show, but I wonder if Axl could handle living on his own without the construct of a residence hall...] They begin to carry it back, but it's heavy so Hutch winds up having to stay with it overnight while Axl goes to class, then gets a truck. [why didn't Axl just return after class to stay with Hutch and the couch?] But, Axl can't seem to borrow a truck for a few more days, so they decide to just bring the couch to some nearby woods in the meantime. [did I miss finding out where the coffee table came from?] They start hanging out there, but Hutch brings a girl over, making Axl wonder what it'll be like when they live together the next year. Fortunately, Hutch makes it up to him. [nice 80s throwback.]

The Middle: Everyday Orson Life!

The latest three episodes of The Middle are excellent examples of what this show is, for those who have not discovered the mundane yet humorous world that is Orson, Indiana. The Heck family has their ups and downs, but they still live like everyone else, with the same sorts of disappointments and conflicts as everyone else. Sure, things get out of hand from time to time (arrested for library late fees, going from avoiding hygiene to overdoing it), but the family takes life in stride and makes the best lemonade they can out of fallen lemons. With Sue, this tends to be her attitude in every aspect of her life, but each of the others experiences it in this batch of episodes as well. Frankie desperately wants to have more friends and be more social, but she learns to accept the more private life that she and Mike share. Axl wants to be the cool football player but still gets his heart broken. Mike does the good-father thing and volunteers to help coach his daughter's soccer team, only to learn that it's no Little League team. What else will happen on The Middle this season?

The Middle "Stormy Moon" (S05E16): Sue is upset that Reverend TimTom has a girlfriend, Reverend Tammy. [ha - "What Would Jesus Tweet?"] Sue tries to talk to him twice about it, but winds up being forced to accept it, at least to a certain degree. [meh. I forget about TimTom whenever he's not around, so no big deal.]

Axl is excited to see Cassidy again, and they jump to making out. He's not sure what to make of their relationship, though, and she paints him a picture that he doesn't understand, though he claims he does. ["Happy Trails" ??]

Two policeman show up with a warrant for Frankie's arrest... for overdue library books. [LoL, remember when something similar happened on Seinfeld?] Brick forgets to tell Mike, so Frankie has to make bail on her own. [holy cow!] She forces the entire family to search the house for the book, Brady Bunch-style, but they are unable to find it. Frankie continues to blame Brick until the judge informs her that the missing book is more in a genre she would read, though Brick winds up devouring the novel when it is found anyway. [what an embarrassment in the courtroom!]

The Middle "The Walk" (S05E17): Sue is sad that she's the only one without a date to the Prom, but that's only the beginning. Her boss, Edwin, asks her to go with him, then Sean shows up from Notre Dame to take her, and Brad also assumes that they're going together. [haha, Brad will do her makeup! what was with Sue's multi-colored pants?] But, it gets so much more complicated when the Glossner also asks her, and then Darrin does, too. She dumps Sean, then Brad, but the Glossner kid is easy because he gets thrown into juvie. Edwin dumps her after hearing about Brad, but then Shaun tells Darrin about Sue having multiple dates, and he also pulls out, leaving Sue to go alone. She meets up with WeirdAshley, who has also gone stag. [LOVED Frankie's voiceover joke!]

ABC/Michael Ansell

When Darrin goes to see Axl, the eldest Heck pulls out the big brother muscle and chews out his friend for leaving Sue standing there, so the lughead heads to Prom and makes up with her. [what was that theme?? "Lost in Time" or something?]

Frankie and Mike go for a walk and run into another couple, hitting it off. They host a dinner party for the neighbors, but everyone talks to each other and leaves Frankie and Mike out of the fun. [haha.] 

Axl helps Brick with an out-of-the-box book report, but when they go to watch the video of a book-themed domino rally across the house, they realize that Axl had the front-facing camera on. [that sucks. also, why is Axl still home??]

The Middle "The Smell" (S05E18): Mike is asked to be the assistant coach of a girls' soccer team, which he only agrees to because it will give Sue a chance to play. [yay, Sue!] However, then the coach has a big work project and has to leave Mike in charge. He's not really ready to deal with the drama that is teen girls, but he tries. [hard, for Mike!] However, then the parents start bothering Mike for various reasons, so he does the same thing that happened to him and gets someone to become the assistant, then leaves him alone with the crazy. [ha!] Mike even joins the original coach in stalking the games from a van! [this was a little bit over-the-top!]

There's a stench in the house that the family cannot locate, and it turns out to be Brick. Frankie takes him to the drugstore to let him pick out some hygienic products, but he overdoes it and Mike has to show him what's appropriate usage. [this was a random storyline, I thought.]

Axl and Hutch try to figure out what the painting from Cassidy means, and decide to ask girls on the floor what they think. The disagree on the interpretation, but it also gets them interested in Axl, who winds up calling Cassidy to figure out if he's about to cheat on her... only to sadly realize that she has moved on from him. [:(] 

The Middle: A Real Show

This show is just so real. Every awkward girl wishes that everyone at school got along with everyone else, as it would make things easier/better for her. While I don't believe that Sue's lunch seating idea would have actually been implemented, I did once have a similar situation. In seventh grade, the whole "team" was collectively punished for a week or so, and we had to sit alphabetically during lunches. Two of the people in my booth were very popular, and the third was one of those boy-next-door types that many crushed on, so I tried to "get in good" with them and act cool, hoping they'd still talk to me after the assigned lunches ended. It didn't work, and karma made its rounds on me that year in the cafeteria, but that's another story. Back to The Middle, Brick trying to get his dad to use the gift coupons was another anecdote with which I relate, and it was good for me to hear that parents never actually plan to cash-in on those. There are still quite a few episodes left in the season for this comedy, so let's hope they continue to ring true!

The Middle "The Award" (S05E14): The heater is off so everyone is bundled up constantly, though Darrin eventually comes over to fix it, and he and Sue both talk about being single. [I'm kinda over them. it's been too long.] The cousins' hand-me-down box arrives, and Brick falls in love with one of the suits... until he realizes it's a woman's suit! 

facebook.com/TheMiddle

Sue decides to help her classmates get to know one another after someone thinks she's a foreign-exchange student. [okay, how forgettable Sue is may be unrealistic, LoL.] Her "Hands Across Orson High" fails, so she gets a new lunch table setup in place, forcing students from all cliques to sit together on "Mix-it-up Mondays." [I'm also kinda amazed the kids followed the directions, as I saw nobody enforcing this "rule."]

Mike has worked at the quarry for twenty years and is being celebrated at a dinner, which Frankie has to read about online, because Mike doesn't want praise for "showing up." [while I agree with not giving participation trophies, I think that 20 years is a real accomplishment, especially now that most people don't spend their entire working lives with the same company.] Frankie pressures him into going, and it winds up being a bit of a disaster because he doesn't say the most compassionate things... and is rather cynical, really. 

The Middle "Vacation Days" (S05E15): Mike has to take his paid vacation days, and because it's also Spring Break, Brick wants to spend time with him by using up the "present coupons" he's been giving his dad over the years. After a few, Mike flips out on Brick, and they agree to cut them up and move on with life. [the 100 hugs in a row was pretty funny. I was scared during the lawnmower part, though!]

Axl tells the family that he's off to Florida, but he actually spends time in the neighborhood first. [eh. we all sneak around our hometowns without telling our parents, whether to surprise them or avoid them, it happens.] Then, as he drives to Florida, his engine block cracks, ruining the car. He calls Frankie collect from Chattanooga to pick him up. [ouch.]  

Sue finds out through Yelp that a customer thought she was slow, so she dedicates herself to doing better. Of course, then she's too quick, then too creepy (trying too hard to maintain eye contact), and it all blows up in her face eventually.

The Middle: The Hecks are The Hecks

With the Hecks, one might expect that Brick would be a wild card when it comes to towing the party line, but not Sue. Previously, I would have thought that, although she has a strong moral compass, her desire to be well-liked and not a burden of any kind would persevere. So, when she prolonged the family's stay at the church, I was a bit surprised. Therefore, I only became annoyed when she played the stupid card with not understanding how alcohol consumption works, something that is taught multiple times during your adolescent years (and certainly prior to receiving your driver's license!). However, when all was said and done, Axl summed up the family nicely - they're not the Cleavers or the Bradys, but they pull together and make the best of what they're given... and that's a lesson that all families could stand to learn.

ABC/Michael Ansell

The Middle "Hungry Games" (S05E13): The family plans to go to a buffet after church, but the visiting minister butts into their lives when the Hecks seem stressed. [I was SHOCKED at the Bible toss!] Brick opens up about feeling invisible, and then lists several examples of how he is ignored. [well, he kinds is... often.] As soon as amends are made, Sue confesses that she got drunk at a party and danced inappropriately. However, she didn't actually drink anything and only twerked, so it wasn't a big deal. [plus, the party itself seemed really boring, yet nobody even looked at her??] She goes on a confession spree, but her indiscretions are so minute that the reverend eventually stops her. [ha! "save some for Reverend TimTom."] Mike and Frankie are arguing when she comes out, so they go in next, and Frankie winds up breaking down over how much she has on her plate. [I still felt it was all a bit whiny.] When the reverend asks for another group session, Axl protests, claiming that the Hecks all have one another's backs and are good to go. By the time they reach the restaurant, they can all get a plate or two of grub before closing time. [ugh. if it's within 75 minutes of a buffet closing, you don't go. that's kinda the rule, guys.] As they eat, Axl says that he wasn't BSing, he meant what he said, which makes Frankie tear up. [and definitely shows some character growth on Axl's part!]

The Middle: Paying Attention

I laughed at the idea that Mike didn't know where Sue worked. As far as the other examples of his ignorance toward his only daughter, I almost became offended. As someone who had no father during those formative teenage years, I can relate to Sue's desire to have attention and assurance that only a male role model can give. Sue is a strange individual by almost any definition, and it often seems like Frankie and Mike are lost upon how to parent any of the Heck children, so it is sensible that Sue would crave more time with the hard-shelled Mike. Now that she has his attention, and Axl has learned to pay attention to his studies, the family would be in for a positive shift if only Frankie could master paying attention to her responsibilities - like getting kids to school!

The Middle "The Carpool" (S05E12): The bus drivers go on strike, so the middle school parents need to form carpools. It's a mad rush, and Frankie only lasts a week or two as a driver before she's asked not to drive because of her constant tardiness. [ha! I'm surprised that she didn't ask Mike to help! (of course, that would have messed with the storyline, but still...]

ABC/Richard Cartwright

Axl sneaks into an astronomy class to tease a friend, but when he gets a question correct, a girl hits on him and he decides to start learning the science. Soon, his other classes are suffering, and he winds up admitting to the girl that he was only helping her to be with her. She turns around and says she was only pretending to like him so he'd help her, so it became a lose-lose. [awww, that was sad. but, maybe it'll pay off?]

Mike received basketball tickets from corporate, so he needs to find someone to take. His employees all volunteer, but he decides that Sue would be a better pick. [wouldn't it have made more sense to go with coworkers if it was a work thing?] However, when someone else becomes available at the last minute, he goes with him instead, disappointing Sue, who had been excited about spending time with her dad. [awww!] Frankie points out that Mike doesn't spend much time with Sue, so he takes her out to dinner, where they have a great time. [that was cute... and just in time for a daddy-daughter dance in February...]

The Middle: No More Dog

I'm a little sad for Sue and Axl. Sure, little sisters are bothersome (ask mine about the time she was bothering me and I slammed the door, nearly severing her finger), but Axl and Sue being fairly close in age likely meant they were constant playmates when they were younger. I think that Sue's reaction to Axl's "I don't have a sister" was a bit extreme, but he should have seen that coming from his sibling, who somehow couldn't come up with anything more comparable to burning a jersey than tearing apart a plush toy. My brother and I have a similar age gap, and when I went off to college, we didn't communicate again until winter break (this was pre-cell phones for teenagers, people!), when I was hardly home because I was off hanging with friends I hadn't seen in four months... and I never really thought about how that probably made him feel. I'm looking forward to Sue visiting Axl at school - something my brother was never able to do (though I was a six-hour drive away, not 45 minutes).

Also, Frankie's boss is the same guy who did the voice of Fix It Felix in Wreck-It Ralph! Jack McBrayer has such a unique way of saying "amazing" and "ma'am" that you cannot mistake it! Ahhh, I thought that was so cool, and I'm bothered that I didn't notice it before now!

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The Middle "War of the Hecks" (S05E11): Axl is still home from winter break, and when Frankie makes him clean his room, he tries to trick Sue and Brick into doing it for him. [though Brick would rather be reading Unsinkable by Debbie Reynolds.] This actually works pretty well until Brick finds the school mascot costume's head in the closet, deeply angering Sue. [how did the writers come up with this storyline??] A prank war incites, and Sue eventually winds up accidentally burning a priceless autographed jersey of Axl's, right after he apologizes for taking the hen head initially. [awww!] She apologizes endlessly and tries to barter some teasing, but Axl doesn't respond. She then attempts to make it up to him by destroying a stuffed dog that's very precious to her, and they reconcile. [I've never tried to pull apart a stuffed animal, but it can't be easy...]

Frankie's boss invites her to a burger after work, and although she fights it, she winds up going. They hang out until 9pm, and then go shoe shopping another night. [not gonna lie, I'm a little jealous. I haven't really had "coworker friends" since like 2007.] When he invites her to see his (terrible) amateur comedy act, she's dying for a way to get out of going, so when she learns that he lost his dog a few months ago, she is ready to prey on that. Unfortunately, it seems that "Toffee" is "Colin Firth," with whom Mike has finally bonded. [that was kinda cute.] Frankie brings him to Dr. Goodwin, and although they take to one another, it wasn't even the same dog... Toffee only had three legs! [haha that Frankie offered to hang out with the dog and her boss turns her down! like on Frasier when Roz gets a dog for Alice and Martin wants to help out constantly.]

The Middle: Making Peace

When I first watched this episode, I was a bit stunned by how Brick grabbed onto the Buddhist principles. But, then I remembered my own reactions when I realized how much bad there was in the world... I was 13 or 14, and it was hurricane season in Florida. There was a storm headed for us, and I didn't really care what happened - the way I looked at it, what was meant to be would be, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. I had much the same outlook through college, though I have since become a bit more concerned. Still, however one is able to make peace with problems works for me, plus Brick's new outlook on life may come up again, much the way Lisa Simpson's vegetarianism has been written into that show. Sue's peace with Derrick constantly kissing her to shut her up, however, kinda backfired, and I foresee some awkward moments between her and both Derrick and Darrin in the future!

The Middle "Sleepless in Orson" (S05E10): Brick has been extra weird lately, wanting to spend a lot of time with Mike and Frankie. [haha, I kinda figured it wasn't going to be Sue from the tone somehow.] Turns out, he has become aware of what is happened in the world around him, and he is afraid of break-ins, roof collapses, radiation, food poisoning, parasites, and just about anything that could happen. When Mike and Frankie cannot assuage his fears, they take him to see a therapist, who suggests he exercise to take his mind off the issues. [really? that's the best the guy could come up with?] However, he winds up breaking a goblet and then reading about Buddhism when he goes to fix it. The idea that one should picture everything as broken before it is comforts him. Mike, however, begins to be a bit paranoid.

Axl and Sean find out that Darrin has hired some extra "bosses" for Boss Co., and demand he fire them. However, this leaves them with a snow shoveling job that they don't want to do, and they're eventually fired from it. [funny that they thought they'd just watch the sun melt the snow!] 

Derrick Glossner hangs out at the mall to see Sue, stealing money from the fountains to pay for a potato. [haha!] She tells him it's not okay to kiss her without her consent, but he does it again anyway, repeatedly.

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That is, until he stops, realizing that he isn't good enough for her, but not before Darrin sees. The a/c student has become fed up with the needy Angel and was going to attempt making up with Sue when he sees her kissing the neighborhood boy. [what do you think Derrick is going to do to "make something of himself" ??]

The Middle: Glossners Return, Axl has Issues, and Christmas

I spend a lot of time with kids for someone who does not have them. My husband, on the other hand, rarely interacts with children, so when we're out in public and there are tons of children around (like airports and parks), he tends to notice things that I don't. Recently, he asked me what had happened to kids' clothes, noting that the seven-year-olds around are all dressed like mini-adults. I brushed it off, chalking it up to the fact that the specific children he was mentioning might have trendy parents or something. Well, I checked out Target the other day, and was shocked - there are no "kids' clothes" as we knew them in the 1980s. Sure, there were tees with cartoon characters on them, but no duckie-printed sweatshirts or adorable dresses with tons of buttons and bows. I thought maybe it was the time of year... so I went online and browsed. Nope, the major retailers seem to be designing outfits for everyone over age 4 to look like small adults rather than adorable youngsters. I brought this up again, and he said he had also noticed that no children are wearing the puffy choo-choo trains or the circus-themed ensembles. But, somehow, Sue Heck manages to base her wardrobe on these ideas, even finding the items in the Juniors department! Anyone who regularly watches this series has probably noticed Sue's "interesting" fashion sense, but if you think about it, she is always channeling her inner six-year-old... but how is she fulfilling those visions??

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The Middle "The Kiss" (S05E08): Frankie's sister wants Mike and Frankie to house-sit, leaving Sue and Brick home for the weekend. Janet's home is fancy, but Frankie can't figure out the jacuzzi and Mike can't get the TV working. [haha, when I was a kid, my grandparents were snowbirds, and we'd often go over to their house to check on things. Granted, we were kids, but we had the exact same two problems!] The oven, ice machine, and electric corkscrew also confuse them. When the ice machine won't stop shooting out cubes, the couple eventually starts an ice fight and then goes to get frisky... only to be frustrated with the bed controls. [ha!]

The Glossners wanders into the Heck home when Sue leaves the door open, so when they have a minute, they leave a pop-tart trail to lead them out of the house... only for it to backfire when a third Glossner enters the house via the trail. [this really made me laugh.] Then, they flip off the power, but that somehow draws a fourth... a girl Glossner. The duo decide to pretend there's a fire, but the Glossners aren't afraid and stay inside, locking out Sue and Brick. [seriously??] They have no choice but to actually ask them to leave, and because one of the kids likes Sue, they do... and he kisses her on the way out. [whaaaaat?!?!?]

Axl's friends come to visit him at school, and they try to convince him to take a ten-hour road trip to see Cassidy. [I had forgotten about her!] They head toward New York, but Axl worries that she'll be with a new boyfriend when he arrives, so they turn around. On the way home, his friend suggests that it would still be romantic of Axl to appear, so they pull another 180. But, this makes Axl feel like a stalker... then miss her. Each of his friends is on a different side, so they stop at a diner to make a decision, where they get kicked out for stealing another table's onion rings. [who does that??!?] In the end, Axl heads back to campus. [awww.]

The Middle "The Christmas Tree" (S05E09): Axl is home for Christmas and promptly runs off to see his friends and play the new XBOX. Frankie wants Axl to do holiday activities with the family, like decorate the tree, but he only wants to spend about 2 hours with the group, so extreme bargaining needs to happen. [I remember what that was like the first few Christmases I came home from college!] The Hecks even get a huge tree, only to learn that Sue is allergic, so she wears a diving mask in the house. [hahaha!] When her arms are covered in hives, however, Mike kicks the tree to the curb, causing Sue to think that she has ruined Christmas. Sue insists the tree return, even if it means she has to stay in a separate room that is plastic-wrapped. Axl is invited to a bonfire on Christmas Eve, but he has to stay home and watch White Christmas... the German edition that Frankie accidentally purchased. [that's really funny! you gotta read the fine print on ebay!] Frankie explains what's going on to the family, but when she's not doing a good job, she decides to let Axl head out to see his friends. [I was really hoping that Cassidy would make a surprise appearance!] Mike quotes part of "Cat's in the Cradle" to explain what it's like for parents to have children grow up, and nearly tears up as Axl prepares to leave. [I've heard that song before but never thought about the message... sad but true!] Axl decides to stay and admire the tree from the front yard, which is the only place Sue can enjoy it. [but so very Heck!]

Brick got a booklight from selling wrapping paper... but he didn't actually sell it, he just brought home 20 rolls and will deal with paying the $97 later. [they give that stuff on credit now? It used to work the other way around... you had to take orders, collect the money, and then deliver the goods a month later!] Frankie has already used the paper, so she asks Brick to unwrap the gifts and put the paper back on the rolls. The quality isn't great, so he has to raise the money himself... but he takes on church popcorn in order to pay it back. [but if it's not returnable, why even bother unwrapping everything?] He then starts selling Boy Scout peppermint bark, getting himself in even deeper. Crockpot Cozies for the women's club solidify his Ponzi Scheme, but he thinks he has an out when he starts selling poinsettias that he took from the cemetery, as he doesn't owe anyone money for those. [first, I'd like to know how he sold more than one of those cozies! second, how did none of these organizations require a parent's signature to allow the child to participate?? also, I think there was a missed opportunity... with Brick having seen all of the presents, he could have been making multiple jokes about items that would be received shortly, and he never does.]

The Middle: An Airing of Grievances

In case you missed it, the song in the background of the opening was "Simple Gifts," which the string quartet played during the unity candle lighting at my wedding. I think it was perfect for both occasions because the message is really that you need very little to be happy, and love and friendship make the world go 'round. On The Middle, though, it wasn't terribly fitting... except maybe for Frankie's parents, who recently lost quite a bit of money. The confusion over the dinner guests was perhaps the highlight of the episode, but I felt everything going on was a bit too busy to make it a classic.

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The Middle "Thanksgiving V" (S05E07): The sales at the malls are the night BEFORE Thanksgiving in Orson, and Frankie and Sue head out to snag some deals. [I guess that's better than on Thanksgiving itself?] Frankie prepares a small dinner for Thanksgiving, as it's just the five of them plus Frankie's parents. Mike was supposed to go pick them up, but Axl volunteers, hoping to get them on his side for when he breaks the news that the only class he's still taking is Music Appreciation. [you'd think Axl also taking out the trash and walking the dog would start to raise suspicion...] However, they don't have the "perspective" he was hoping for, and lecture him the entire drive. But that's only the start of their issues; Frankie's dad gambled away $8,000 in online poker, so he tries to get Mike to discuss the dangers of cruising to dissuade Frankie's mom about an upcoming trip. [I don't even know what to say about this!!]

Axl's prayers are answered, however, when company shows up to dinner. Thinking that his parents won't make a scene in front of his mother's boss and his father's brother's (ex-)wife and kids, he waits for the perfect opening. [awww, Brick's poorly-made lime jello salad made me sad. that kid is so often forgotten!] Unfortunately, the gambling and divorce news surfaces, blocking Axl from announcing his problems during the meal. He tries to bring it up again later, but Frankie's crazy actions at the mall make the news, so his moment is stolen once again. Finally, he blurts it out, and when Mike just says "it's your life," Axl is baffled and winds up lecturing himself. [haha, when Frankie's boss leaves, she jokes about Christmas dinner and he takes her seriously!]

Fun Friday: What the Rich People Watch

Yesterday, AVClub posted an article looking at the socioeconomic demographics of the Nielsen ratings - the top 20 shows watched by the highest-earning households, and the top 20 watched by the lowest-earning households, on average. I was thoroughly amused by which shows were on each list. Let's take a gander, first at what the high-earners watch:

Now, out of the 20 above, I regularly watch 5 of them (The Goldbergs, How I Met Your Mother, The Michael J. Fox Show, Trophy Wife, and The Middle), and occasionally tune in for one more (Shark Tank). Of the others on the list, there are several that I can't stand (Modern Family, Glee, Super Fun Night, and Nashville), and a bunch I've seen but don't care for (Castle, Parks and Rec, New Girl).

Now, at what the low-earners watch:

From this list, I only cover one series for this site: Bob's Burgers, the show with the lowest earners of them all. I watch The Simpsons occasionally, and tried both The Neighbors and Dads, though they weren't my cup of tea. I've seen American Dad and Family Guy in the past, and enjoyed America's Funniest Home Videos back in the early 1990s. The rest? I couldn't care less about.

Now, I don't really trust the Nielsen ratings anyway, so I take all of the information in the above charts with a grain of salt, but I still found it interesting enough to glance through and think about.

What about you - do you tend to watch the shows of the princes or the paupers?

The Middle: Volleyball, Failing, and a Dog

I'm not a dog person. For the vast majority of my life, I was actually an anti-dog person, though I tolerate them now. I've had friends who have very meaningful relationships with their dogs, and I really don't "get it." Frankie reiterated the same thing they always preach: the pooch is there for them when they leave for work and they're there when they return home, and they act like their owners are the only people in the world. I don't see the big desire to have that, but the Hecks didn't all have that sort of relationship with "Colin Firth," so I assume he'll be gone in an episode or two anyway. Axl failing out of college and Sue playing volleyball? Now THOSE are interesting storylines. More of them, please!

The Middle "The Jump" (S05E06): Sue makes the varsity volleyball team. [not gonna lie... I was so happy for her, I teared up!] However, it turns out that the school felt bad, as Sue crashed through a bad spot in the gym floor during her tryout. [yikes!] When Mike goes to the game and starts chanting "Sue," the volleyball coaches put her in to avoid a lawsuit, even though it is match point. [hahaha!] Well, she winds up getting hit with the ball three times in a row, but they hit her hard enough to go back over the net and eventually win the game. [don't really think that could happen, but good for Sue anyway! her jump meter was cute as well.]

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Axl is behind in his studies and is told to drop three of his (four) classes so he doesn't fail, so he turns to Brick for help. [I'm intrigued that Brick would be able to help... he is seven years younger, after all.] Axl admits that he has been struggling without his parents on his back, and when he winds up dropping drop math and philosophy, he isn't sure how to tell his parents. [are we assuming he kept Spanish, of all things?? also, they could have tried harder to make that look like a University setting.] 

Frankie wears blue nail polish but after the kids tease her, she takes it off. [I thought it was cool.] Later, she has trouble jumping, so she spends some time alone, only to run into a dog in town. [random! but who opens their door to a stray dog??!?] Frankie brings "Colin Firth" home, but she's the only one he likes. [Love Actually has come up three times today... how weird!] When the family tells her to get rid of the dog, Frankie tells them that she doesn't feel loved by her family, but they share their feelings to lift her spirits.

The Middle: A Bookmark for Halloween?

Brick growing up has been one of the more interesting ongoing arcs on this series. Each of the characters is really well-written, and great care is obviously taken to make sure the personalities are clear with every action, but the kids are maturing, little by little. Brick starting middle school was going to open up all kinds of potentially awesome storylines for the little misfit, but when he starts acting like a typical pre-teen by crushing on girls and wanting to go to a dance, I think audiences everywhere were a bit intrigued! He is definitely still himself, though I was a tad surprised that he made the costume on his own rather than asking for Frankie's help. And, for every notch he grows out of his shell, his sister becomes more and more confident in who she is, and his brother learns how to make lemonade out of lemons! I'm really looking forward to the other holiday episodes on the horizon for this comedy!

The Middle "Halloween IV: The Ghost Story" (S05E05): As punishment for not doing the dishes, Frankie makes Brick go to a party, where he stares at a girl named Harper, on whom he has a crush mostly because she developed early. [ha!] Frankie and Mike suggest Brick try talking to her via social media, but, he's slow to reply so the entire family helps him IM. He decides to ask her to the Halloween dance, and she says "yes." [haha, nobody high-fives Brick.] Brick dresses as a bookmark, and has a seizure or something at the dance. [that many different things were happening to him and his parents weren't called? I'm suspicious.]

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Frankie buys licorice menorahs so nobody is tempted to eat the candy before Halloween, but they do anyway, and they have to hide from the trick-or-treaters. [typical Hecks!] Sue gets the Wrestlerettes pumped by having a team sleepover, but when they hold a seance, Sue calls Christopher Columbus and thinks she sees the Santa Maria on the wall. [I'd say that's a stretch...] She starts telling everyone, concerning Mike. Both parents talk to their daughter, explaining that they've all had experiences that seem paranormal, but they don't believe they happened. Well, this only encourages Sue. [which makes sense. If they believe they really saw something, what's to stop the same thing from happening to Sue?]

Axl is being hazed on the football team, but he and Hutch, a fellow hazee, throw a party... only to not be let in because they're not upperclassman players. [hilarious!] They decide to crowd-surf their way in, then hang out with a couple of girls until the upperclassmen tie them up again. [it seemed almost like freshmen boys pledging a fraternity, really.]