Fun Friday: What the Rich People Watch

Yesterday, AVClub posted an article looking at the socioeconomic demographics of the Nielsen ratings - the top 20 shows watched by the highest-earning households, and the top 20 watched by the lowest-earning households, on average. I was thoroughly amused by which shows were on each list. Let's take a gander, first at what the high-earners watch:

Now, out of the 20 above, I regularly watch 5 of them (The Goldbergs, How I Met Your Mother, The Michael J. Fox Show, Trophy Wife, and The Middle), and occasionally tune in for one more (Shark Tank). Of the others on the list, there are several that I can't stand (Modern Family, Glee, Super Fun Night, and Nashville), and a bunch I've seen but don't care for (Castle, Parks and Rec, New Girl).

Now, at what the low-earners watch:

From this list, I only cover one series for this site: Bob's Burgers, the show with the lowest earners of them all. I watch The Simpsons occasionally, and tried both The Neighbors and Dads, though they weren't my cup of tea. I've seen American Dad and Family Guy in the past, and enjoyed America's Funniest Home Videos back in the early 1990s. The rest? I couldn't care less about.

Now, I don't really trust the Nielsen ratings anyway, so I take all of the information in the above charts with a grain of salt, but I still found it interesting enough to glance through and think about.

What about you - do you tend to watch the shows of the princes or the paupers?

Fun Friday: Betting on Renewals and Cancellations

It can be a depressing time of year for a lot of people. We're only a month out from Network Upfronts Week (May 13-16 this year), and although we've already seen many cancellations and heard about many upcoming new pilots, there are still quite a few shows up for renewal, both freshman and returning. Back in January we did a Midseason Checkup on how the first-season scripted shows were doing so far. But, at that point there were still quite a few that hadn't even debuted, so a lot has changed. (and, actually, there still are some shows that have not seen the light of day yet, like Crossbones, Friend Me, The Goodwin Games, Save Me, Family Tools, and Mistresses.) That said, I wanted to go ahead and start predicting how things will go for freshmen series and the older series that this site follows. Again, this only covers the programming on the big five broadcast networks. If a show isn't on this list and you expected it to be, that's because its fate has already been announced, so check here.  

and, not, I didn't try to make the sections near-even, that's just a coincidence.

I think it'll be renewed:
Beauty and the Beast. While the numbers are decent for a series on the CW, there are many cable series that do better. Still, I think it's good enough for the situation. [update: we were right!]
Chicago Fire. Not the highest numbers, but the series is getting a spin-off, so you'd think they'd keep this around for some early publicity, crossovers, etc. [update: we were right!]
Golden Boy. The numbers are decent, but CBS can afford to be picky, so that might work against this drama. Still, the critics are more favorable than not on it, and although it's not my cup of tea, I could see it getting a second chance. [update: we were wrong!] 
Hannibal. For a series about the famed Dr. Lecter, it did not open well, and the second episode did about the same. It could be advantageous that the series does not plan full seasons but just 13-episode installments, and it's hard to make a judgment call after just two airings, but I think NBC could work with this.
How to Live With Your Parents (for the Rest of Your Life). It could be a good fit for ABC, maybe even joining the TGIF lineup if the network could scare up some more family comedies to throw in there. After two episodes, it's still early, but the numbers are decent, even if it does have Modern Family as a lead-in at the moment. [update: we were wrong!]
Last Man Standing. (listed because it's one of the few non-freshman network series we cover that has not yet been renewed/canceled) The numbers are high enough for a renewal, and although I don't think the stories are going anywhere, I think it's a safe show for ABC's Friday night lineup. [update: we were right!]
Malibu Country. The numbers aren't where they could be, but the stories could go far, plus it pairs well following Last Man Standing. [update: we were wrong!]
The Middle. (listed because it's one of the few non-freshman network series we cover that has not yet been renewed/canceled) The numbers are better than last year's and the storylines could easily keep going, so I don't know why this would get canceled. [update: we were right!]
Nashville. The numbers aren't terrible for a 10pm slot, and it got decent critical praise. [update: we were right!]
The Neighbors. The numbers are on the weaker side and it's not a critical favorite, but it's high-concept and fits into the "family" block on Wednesday nights. [update: we were right!]

I think it'll be canceled:
1600 Penn. The numbers are absolutely abysmal, and the comedy packs in too much drama. [update: we were right!]
The Carrie Diaries. The CW operates by slightly different rules, but this series still has weaker numbers than Emily Owens, MD, and that's already been canceled. [update: we were wrong!]
Deception. The numbers are poor and there are two episodes to air that aren't even scheduled at the moment, which is not a good sign. [update: we were right!]
Go On. The numbers suggest that it just fell too far. Combined with a last-minute timeslot move and the very droll plots, I don't see this going anywhere. [Update: we were right!]
Guys with Kids. The numbers were never great for this one, and it aired against the more-established family comedy block on ABC on Wednesdays. It never even got a full season pickup, so as much as it pains me, I don't think it'll make it. [update: we were right!]
The New Normal. The numbers have been on a downward slope, and I think the stories would be scattered should the series continue. [update: we were right!]
Red Widow. The numbers are dropping, and month-long gap between the last episode and the next won't help anybody. [update: we were right!]
Revolution. The numbers have been falling drastically since the pilot, and it's a bit too high-concept for the show to try and "solve" the problem of the power so soon. [update: we were wrong!]
Vegas. The numbers have been pretty steady, although the move to Friday will keep many guessing as to how the remaining five episodes will do. Still, it's a big-budget show, and although another network might risk another season, CBS may not. [update: we were right!]

what do you think will happen? check out the poll to the right and let us know which series you think will be renewed!

The Middle: Brick Goes to Chicago, Sue and Darrin Go for Fro-Yo

Somehow, this has become the show I look forward to second-most every week. The first being Switched at Birth, of course. I've bragged about the realism of this series before, and it just keeps getting better and better. I have no doubts that it will get renewed for a fifth season, but I don't think it could sustain more than six seasons (after which Sue would graduate from high school), and for that I'm already a bit bummed. But, let's live in the moment! The Middle AND The Neighbors both promoted the Academy Awards The Oscars this week, an event which doesn't have a long history of being marketed via family comedies. I liked that Frankie gave the awards show the same amount of attention that she gave The Royal Wedding, and that Sue and Darrin will always be able to link them to their first night as a couple. Speaking of which, I really liked Mike's lecture... he wants the best for his daughter and knows that his son's friend might not be it, but he's willing to let the relationship run its course... at least for now. Similarly, Frankie really thought that Brick going on a three-day class trip was a terrible idea (I was stunned that she was willing to chaperone!), but in the end she accepted it. And, aside from Brick wandering off on his own to Wrigley Field, everything worked out just fine. Who knew?

The Middle "Winners and Losers" (S04E16): Brick is going to Chicago for three days on his fifth-grade class trip, but Frankie is very worried that he'll get lost. Apparently, she hasn't paid attention all year, so she goes to the final meeting to learn more and volunteer to chaperone. [didn't she have to sign a permission slip and write a check at some point??] But, there are tons of volunteers so they draw names. Frankie tries to rig the drawing, then acts like it was rigged to pick others, and accidentally admits to cheating. She tries to convince Brick to stay home and go to a book fair in Terra Haute instead, but she winds up letting him go to Chicago. She does the best she can, packing only orange clothes so he'll be easy to spot, trying to request he get a "responsible buddy like a girl," and refusing to allow him to bring any books so he won't be distracted and get lost. [without books, I'm crazy curious to know what he did on that bus!] Brick has a great time and Frankie winds up completely forgetting to pick him up. [why did Nancy Donahue just give him a ride? why not call the Heck house to see what's going on?]

ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL

Sue isn't sure what the status is of her relationship with Darrin, and when she tries to talk to him at school, Axl chases Sue out of the "senior hall." [I've never understood the meaning of that phrase...] She hopes to get his attention at home by interrupting Axl's garage band's practice by dressing up and doing her hair... which must have worked to a certain extent because Darrin writes a song about the magical moment, which only Sue understands. Later, Darrin comes over to the Heck house spontaneously, deciding to ignore Axl and watch The Oscars with Sue and Frankie, who has decorated the house for the occasion. [seriously? a strip of red carpet?] When Axl sees Sue and Darrin holding hands, however, he freaks out, sending Sue to her room before yelling at Darrin. [why did Sue listen to him??] He then calls for a conference with Frankie and Mike, and Mike worries that Darrin is too old and dumb for Sue, though Frankie thinks he's sweet and comes from a good family. [I hate that saying, for the record...]

Midseason Checkup

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

For the past six months, the new series that we've focused on have all been on the "Big 5," better known as the broadcast networks of ABC, FOX, CBS, the CW, and NBC. We looked at each show in four parts, deeming them "good," "bad," "questionable," and "ridiculous." Some of them have not yet started, as the midseason is just getting underway. FOX has The Following premiering tonight, and the ball will just keep rolling from there, with NBC's Do No Harm starting Thursday, January 31st, Body of Proof beginning Tuesday, February 5th on ABC, Zero Hour (also ABC), showing up on Valentine's Day, and more. So, this post will serve as an alphabetical roundup for where this season's shows now are and which are still to come. In the near future we'll do a separate article to look at a few cable shows. 

1600 Penn is three episodes in and definitely NOT a ratings hit. The critics are generally fans, though I've been back-and-forth on it.

666 Park Avenue made it seven episodes before cancellation. All thirteen episodes will air, though the final four won't be until the summer. Beginning at almost 7M, the show lost 3M before cancellation, though it enjoyed audiences in Canada, the UK, Spain, New Zealand, and Australia, where the series will finish in the next couple weeks.

Animal Practice seems to be nothing more than a laugh now. Five episodes aired before it was canceled, one after, and the remaining three went straight to Hulu, hopefully satisfying the fans it did have. I was among the 12,8M who tuned in for the pilot during the Olympics "Hot Weather Sports," but I never bothered again, finding it just too ridiculous. Still, 3.68M stayed with it until the bitter end.

Arrow, a modern retelling of the comic book Green Arrow, has been a hit with critics and audiences alike. The viewership has been steadily over 3M, and the show is about halfway through the first season. I haven't been able to get into it, but I'm happy it's doing well.

Beauty and the Beast has another 13 episodes to go in its rookie season, which has a very stable audience of around 1.5M. I thought that the pilot was better than the marketing, but I still didn't think it was great. Luckily, there are plenty of teenage girls ogling "beast."

Ben and Kate has been a bit weak for its time slot, rarely reaching 3M after the first three episodes. It has seven episodes left in its season to turn things around, but things aren't looking great. Personally, I'm only a fair-weather fan.

The Carrie Diaries just started a week ago, and the pilot drew 1.6M. I think that the CW was expecting more for the Sex and the City prequel, set during Carrie's junior year of high school, but nothing about the series really appeals to me.

Chicago Fire didn't draw my attention because I neither find Chicago nor firefighters intriguing. But, it is certainly drawing plenty of eye otherwise! It started with 6.6M and has seen peaks up to 8.54 recently. I highly doubt that this one will get canceled, so that 10pm Wednesday slot will probably hold this drama for a while. 

Crossbones has been largely forgotten about by many, as no news has really broken in months, aside from the possibility of Hugh Laurie starring. Production has been delayed, and this series will likely not even appear for another year, so don't get excited.

Cult begins Tuesday, February 19th at 9pm. My initial opinions about the series (a blogger investigates mysterious disappearances) remain: boring, but could have an audience.

Deception, initially known as Infamous, has its third episode airing this evening. The first two brought in 5.66M and 4.14M viewers, respectively, but I'm still left wondering how this mystery drama is going to work as anything other than a TV movie in the long run.

Do No Harm has been highly anticipated by many, and the marketing for this updated Dr. Jekyll-and-Mr. Hyde really seems to be creating some hype for its debut on Thursday, January 31st. Personally, I find it to be creepy and an over-exertion of a simple theme. Still, with another former Cosby on the air (Phylicia Rashad), it might just do okay.

Elementary has been a ratings hit for CBS, and will likely continue to grow as it gets the coveted post-Superbowl slot this year. I've personally felt that the episodes are less entertaining as the first season goes on, but I'm clearly in the minority.

Emily Owens, MD is currently burning off the remaining episodes from its original order of thirteen. It's been wavering between one and two million viewers since its inception, but the CW doesn't have the same standards as the others. Its competition? Go On, NCIS: LA, Happy Endings, and New Girl.

Family Tools will be gracing the airwaves on Wednesday, May 1st at 8:30pm. It's only getting ten episodes instead of thirteen, but there are a lot of great actors who could make magic. I'm still looking forward to it!

The Following begins tonight, and I originally found it to be procedural and too crime-solving for me. After the pilot, I was astonished at how much I disliked it, and I'm not sure that Kevin Bacon is enough. That said, my husband liked the beginning of the series and is planning to cover it for TheTalkingBox, so if you think an FBI agent in the midst of serial killers is cool, stay tuned.

Friend Me has been up in the air since the co-creator committed suicide last fall. Unfortunately, the premise might need to change if the series is to continue, as it was to be based on two guys moving to LA to work for Groupon, which has not been doing that great.

Golden Boy begins Tuesday, February 26th at 10pm, though it will actually be a Friday night series for CBS. It's a cop show that originally had Ryan Phillippe attached, though Theo James is the new star. It's a biography to a certain extent, and is set to chronicle the life of a police officer from detective to commissioner. Not my cup of tea.

Go On is in the middle of its first season, and despite some early popularity, it's been below 5M viewers since 2013 began. I don't know if it can pull out of its dip, but many hope so. I'm still watching, but it's not my favorite comedy.

The Goodwin Games is still to come. With no start date in sight, the initial order was cut from thirteen to seven back in early November. The veteran writers and decently-known actors might still draw a crowd when FOX finally decides to air it, so don't panic yet! 

Guys with Kids has been getting a bad reputation since the beginning, with critics mainly complaining that it brings nothing original to the table. Its first season has six episodes left to air, but it has struggled to pull 4M+, succeeding only once since October. I actually think the show is funny and interesting to watch, but I need to start preparing myself for the fact that its renewal is not very likely.

Hannibal does not yet have a date to premiere, but follows the theme of prequels & adaptations, being based on the Hannibal character from the Thomas Harris novels. Not a fan of serial killers or creepiness, I won't be tuning in when it does air.

How to Live with Your Parents for the Rest of Your Life has Brad Garrett playing Sarah Chalke's father, coming Wednesday, April 3rd at 9:30pm. Though the shorter title will certainly help, but Chalke as a divorcee with a close male BFF still isn't going to reel me in to watch.

Last Resort didn't receive a full-season order, and the final episode will air later this week. I thought that the exotic South Pacific was a strange locale for a show that would primarily take place on a submarine, and I guess I'm not the only one. The pilot drew 9.3M pairs of eye but the drama has dipped as low as 4.9M.  

Made in Jersey was an early cancellation, with only two episodes airing before it was pulled from the Friday night schedule. It actually got 7.8M and 6.7M viewers for those episodes, respectively, but it has already burned off the other six episodes that were completed. I hardly had time to really compose a stance on the series before it ended, so no skin off my back. 

Malibu Country did not last long in my book - I gave up after just two episodes. For a Friday night, the numbers aren't terrible... though the TGIF block needs more substance if you ask me.

The Mindy Project received a full-season order after just two episodes aired. Its ratings have since fallen from 3.68M to 2.76M, but it is up against Apt. 23 and NCIS: LA. The critics tend to like the series, though there has been plenty of speculation as to its staying power. Personally, I'm not a fan of Mindy Kaling nor this show's approach to medicine.

Mistresses is expected to begin in May, though it may begin airing in just a couple of weeks in New Zealand. It's a take off of a British series by the same name, and the more I learn about the series, the less interested I am. Still, I might give the pilot a go.

The Mob Doctor was canceled after eight episodes, but many wondered why it took so long. All thirteen episodes did air, albeit the final few often to only just over 2M people (the pilot only drew 5.1M anyway). My gripe with it was that it offered nothing original, and I guess I wasn't alone.

Nashville never interested me because of my dislike in country music. I wondered how it would do in a 10pm slot, but it's been great. Critics like it, the actors have been receiving award nominations, and its only halfway through its season. It has not fallen below 5.9M yet, so it's probably going to stay around a bit.

The Neighbors is halfway is halfway through its first season, staying above 6M in its slot between The Middle and Modern Family. The marketing seems to suggest that critics are coming around to the series, but I recently abandoned it for its failure to incorporate all of the characters and keep a cohesive storyline.

The New Normal has been a bit of a gamble since it was announced, but I like it. I'm not sure if it has a long and prosperous future, and it seems that the general public feels the same: It hasn't hit 5M viewers since the fourth episode, and the latest two have been under 3.5M.

Next Caller is dead in the water. The Dane Cook series never aired, and only four episodes were filmed. I didn't think it had a great premise - two radio hosts having to share the air - but it doesn't matter now.

Partners had a short life. Only six episodes aired, and though it never had more than 6.5M in the live audience, it also never dipped below 5.4M. I liked it but didn't think it was gold. How I Met Your Mother was its lead-in, and it was up against Bones, The Voice, and Dancing with the Stars, so completely different target demos. Oh well!

Red Widow begins Sunday, March 3rd with an eight-episode run. If gangsters are your thing and you want to see how a woman handles things when her mob boss husband dies, check it out. For me, the premise doesn't offer much.

Revolution had me going there for a while. At one point I was curious as to how the airwaves would handle another apocalyptic-like show, similar to both Falling Skies and Terra Nova. After the pilot, I was hooked. I wanted to see where things were going to go. A few episodes later, however, I was more frustrated than anything else. NBC choosing to air ten episodes in the fall and hold the other ten until March has been a choice questioned by many, but the show has never had fewer than 7M viewers, so they must be doing something right!

Save Me is still in the pipeline, with no updates in quite a while. You may recall that this is the show where Anne Heche can channel God. If not, don't worry, as I'm sure Anne Heche will be the big marketing factor when this one returns to light.

Vegas has surprised me. I'm not one for the 1960s mob scene, but it's been great for CBS, starting with nearly 15M viewers and still over 11M after 12/21 episodes. This is certainly an accomplishment, as it's up against Parenthood and Private Practice, among other things.

Zero Hour will first air on Valentine's Day... creepy for a series that is about the paranormal and conspiracy theories. Nobody wants to learn about a spouse abducted on the most romantic day of the day, so although I'm unsure about the debut date, I am sure that I won't be tuning in regardless of when it runs.

The Neighbors: PTA & Soccer Practice

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Can we all agree right now that Larry using a gingerbread man that he was moving through a remote-controlled body suit was ridiculous, creepy, and unnecessary? I don't really think that Debbie is a great candidate for PTA President anyway, so the idea that Larry would scare off the current leader is problematic for multiple reasons. Amber, Reggie, and Abby were absent from this episode, which continues to irk me. Rarely does this series manage to include all nine main cast members, which isn't an outrageous number. Despite the fact that I've been putting effort into trying to like this comedy, halfway into the first season, I'm calling it quits. Anyone going to miss coverage of this extraterrestrial/NJ family show?

The Neighbors "The Gingerbread Man" (S01E11): It's Parent Involvement night at the elementary school, and though Debbie wants to join the PTA, Marty would rather coach soccer. Loving petty politics, Larry decides to join Debbie while Jackie helps Marty with sports. At the PTA meeting, Debbie's ideas for gingerbread soccer players doesn't go over well, but Larry dives in and decides that they should win over other members to the idea. They get enough promised votes, but when the President is still rude, Larry builds a gingerbread cookie that he can remotely move. He freaks her out but everyone in the PTA becomes afraid of Larry and won't help bake the cookies. [I think that this storyline had greater potential but it fell flat, especially in the way it wrapped up.] 

Dick and Max are on the soccer team, and Jackie is afraid that Dick will develop low self-esteem from his horrible skills. [does that happen? kids who aren't great but still part of a team feel like they suck?] Larry suggests that she push Dick harder, so she forces him to run hundreds of laps. Then, she points out how weak he is in front of everyone and kicks him off the team, as her competitive nature has surfaced. [what was that mess about installing a performance chip in Dick's brain??] The kids choose her over sympathetic Marty, but Marty gets Dick back on the team when Jackie misses her son. [having Dick move like the gingerbread man to scare the PTA President again was ridiculous.]

ABC/KELSEY MCNEAL

Christmas Episode Round-Up: The New Normal, The Middle, The Neighbors, Guys with Kids, Suburgatory, The Big Bang Theory, Last Man Standing, 2 Broke Girls

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

The networks really seemed to spread out their holiday episodes this year... I think it ended up being a three-week window or something (perhaps even longer if you're a Family Guy fan!), which surprised me a bit. Because of the length, I'll jump right into some overviews and then the recaps with remarks.

The New Normal: Bryan gets Jane a job; Bryan and David realize that they're stressing over the baby.

Go On: Ryan, Anne, and Steven try to miss the group's holiday party, but when Lauren panics over getting engaged, they rush back.

The Middle: Brick is in a Christmas play, Sue bakes cookies, Frankie gets a holiday job, Mike fights with Rusty, and Axl enjoys a bachelor pad in the garage.

The Neighbors: Marty and Debbie decide to go to Hawaii for Christmas, but Larry ruins that idea by opening all of their presents and ruining them.

Guys with Kids: Sheila and Chris pass back and forth her engagement ring. Emily plans a romantic evening for Gary and Marny, who decide to just drink instead.

Suburgatory: Tessa doesn't love spending Christmas with her mom, and Ryan finds out that he's adopted.

The Big Bang Theory:The girls try to get Raj a girlfriend while Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, and Stuart play a holiday version of Dungeons & Dragons.

Last Man Standing: Mike tries to get the girls to all take trips for Christmas to give Vanessa simple holiday, but then has to get them all to stay.

2 Broke Girls: Max and Caroline resort to drastic measure to make rent during the holidays.

The New Normal "Baby Proofing" (S01E11): David is over-eating because of stress, and Bryan is drinking. They confront one another but don't get anywhere. Then they hire a baby-proofer to round corners, add a baby-gate, anchor bookshelves, etc.

Neil Jacobs/NBC

Jane is back and Bryan invites her to accompany him to a Christmas party because David doesn't like them and is busy thinking of everything that could happen to the baby around the house. [people can get crazy.] Jane is afraid that she'll never be accepted and succeed in LA, so Bryan gets her a job interview. [odd little DUI checkpoint where Jane's gun is the problem.] The whole experience convinces Bryan to pour wine down the sink. Jane is told that she's old-fashioned but when she makes it clear that she knows things, she's hired. [guess she's back for the long term. boo.]

Go On "The World Ain't Over 'Til It's Over" (S01E11): [did anyone reference anything other than Jimmy V that week?? and why did they script Anne an f-word if they just bleep it out?] Fausta decorates the group room a little for Christmas but Lauren tells her that everything needs to be non-denominational. [boo.] The group holiday party will be at 8pm on December 21st, 2012, which is when Mr. K. thinks the world will end, thanks to the Mayans. [I'm kinda glad that some show decided to point out that craziness!]

Lauren is afraid that Wyatt may be ready to propose, so when Yolanda and Sonia see Wyatt at a jewelry store, they try to sabotage the proposal (tho they're mostly worried that Lauren won't have time for them anymore if she gets married). He sees right through them and mentions that he's going to pop the question at the party. [groups are not the best idea for this, guys!] Meanwhile, Ryan and Steven decide to go to Napa like old times, and Ryan decides to invite Anne along to take her mind off her graveyard issues (she's been going every single day). They'll miss the end-of-the-world party, but oh well. That is, until Sonia spills the beans to Lauren, who calls Ryan for advice. He reminisces about how Janie told him to get it together or she'd leave him. [that was kinda interesting... I should have expected it but I did not.] They then decide to rush back to LA, but by then Wyatt had already proposed in front of a snow machine, and Lauren accepted. ["Asian glow" is an enzyme thing? and how did they go from Napa to LA in just a few hours??] The episode ends with Ryan turning out the lights to when Mr. K. projected the world to end.]

Vivian Zink/NBC

The Middle "Christmas Help" (S04E09): Reverend TimTom asks Brick to be a wiseman in a play for kids, and Sue will bake the cookies for the concession stand. She calculates that she needs to bake 1200 cookies (20 cast members + 2 parents each + siblings + 1.5 grandparents + crew members + church people + 5% accidental crumblage) and gets to work right away. [this made me laugh SO HARD, guys. how did the Heck family have the money for ingredients to bake 100 dozen cookies?] Brick even gets an extra line to help cover for another wiseman and starts practicing his singing all over the place. Sue has tons of cute Santa cookies but none are selling, so she donates the bulk of them to TimTom's next project. Brick is awkward in the play, not paying attention during his lines and directing others. [but was kinda cute.] 

Frankie and Mike worry that they don't have a way to pay for Christmas presents, even with Frankie not signing her tuition check. [remind anyone of Roseanne?] She decides to get a job at a store to get a 30% discount to buy presents, but the discount doesn't count for 20 days, meaning she can't use it until Christmas Eve. [haha, figures!] She tries to get people to stay away from the items she wants to buy, then just starts hiding them around the store. [let me digress for a second... when we were in middle school, our science teacher would take us to the library for research, but you weren't allowed to check-out any books until the end of the day, because each period deserved to have a chance to access all of the same materials. so, if there was a book you really wanted for your project, you'd hide it within the library, then run there after final bell so you could grab it and check it out and make it to the bus. after a few rounds of this, though, the teacher caught on and we got a big lecture about being unfair to others, LoL!] When she tries to hide a basket of goodies on a tall shelf, someone moves the ladder while she's up there, trapping her for hours. She isn't even able to buy anything before the store closes, so they give the kids pictures of what they're getting and they utilize the post-holiday discount to load-up the next day. [which is a nice way to do things, not gonna lie.]

ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL

A third storyline going on has Mike storing some furniture for Rusty, only to later find out that it may have stolen it from a police officer with whom Rusty plays poker. [episodes with Rusty are extra weird.] After a couple of days, Axl decides to arrange it as a "pad," and even serves dinner and has a Christmas party in the garage. [reminded me a little bit of Greg Brady decorating the attic.] Mike decides that he's "done" with his brother, but TimTom encourages him to pray about it and he does. When everything gets returned, Axl is upset, but Mike realizes that he and Rusty should make up.

The Neighbors "Merry Crap-Mas" (S01E09): Marty and Debbie move wrapped presents to Larry and Jackie's home to keep them hidden. [Max gets an iPad? If Abby is six, he must only be like eight! and, Amber doesn't strike me as the snowboarding type.] When Amber wants her gifts early so that she can leave on a ski trip on Christmas Eve and Max wants to amend his list, Marty and Debbie decide to return the presents and take a trip. [whoa. I don't mind a trip in lieu of presents, but you have to plan that sort of shenanigan in advance!] The kids are unhappy about having been "nice" all year for nothing, but Debbie and Marty still go to book Hawaii. [haha, I loved the kids reacting like that.]

Meanwhile, Larry decides to open the gifts to see what they are, causing the Weavers to have no presents (they're ruined) and no trip (they can't return them for money). Larry then watches Christmas movies, trying to analyze how Santa travels the world in a single evening. [haha on Larry thinking an Etch-a-Sketch has Siri.] Abby tells Larry that Santa will fix things, so he decides to dress as Santa and make Dick his elf. [haha!] They get some strippers to be luau dancers, get a pig for roasting, and scrounge up a few presents for the kids, including an etch-a-sketch for Max. [I particularly liked the carolers!] The Weavers have no presents or tree on Christmas morning, but the Zabvronians are there! [I laughed at an elf/Tiny Tim mash-up.]

ABC/ERIC MCCANDLESS

Guys with Kids "Christmas" (S01E10): Chris and Sheila recap that they got divorced because they had a baby to fix their marriage and it didn't work. [omg that sucks.] Sheila decides to return her engagement ring at this point, but Chris doesn't want to take it, so they pass it through various means until Sheila finally admits to being responsible for their divorce because she didn't try to solve their problems. [did they change the baby who plays Ernie?]

Nick, Emily, and their kids arrive at Gary's dressed in Victorian clothes from taking their Christmas card photo.

Vivian Zink/NBC

Gary and Marny bought a new dishwasher for Christmas, which Emily finds offensive because it's not romantic and she doesn't want them to wind up like her parents. Emily decides to stage an intervention to help them spice-up their marriage, even planning an elaborate date for the couple which includes a carriage ride. They don't love it, though, so they skip to drinking. They head to Nick and Emily's, where Marny takes off her bra and puts it on their Christmas Tree, then she and Gary call the couple "Nemily" because they're too cute. [haha on "Nemily" being expanded to include anything annoying!] They go back to their place to be intimate while Nick and Emily are honest about their own relationship, realizing neither actually likes those annual carriage rides. The next morning, Marny and Gary try to put together the events of the previous night, and Emily and Nick show up to return the couple's four children.

Suburgatory "Krampus" (S02E07): Dalia misses her housekeeper and comes up with a plan to get her back. So, she decides to make a music video about how Carmen used to do all of her laundry to win her back. Of course, she's not having the greatest time working for Noah and Jill anyway, offending the mother by saying she doesn't understand her baby because she never spends time with him. [ouch! it must be extremely taxing on Carly Chaikin to hardly ever smile! Also, Wan'Er in the bridge was random. And, Dalia calling George "Daddy Altman" was odd.] Carmen sees the video and George arranges for Carmen to be in a box for Dalia to open on Christmas morning. [super odd.]

Tessa doesn't like how quick Chatswin converts to Christmas, and even George gives her the early gift of being able to spend time with her mother in Manhattan. Tessa and Alex's first hug is awkward, and Alex can't figure out how to appropriately treat her almost-adult daughter. [whoa to "Krampus is like Santa, but evil."] Tessa decides to leave the hotel in the middle of the night to head home to her dad's.

Someone at the photo shop tells Ryan that he was adopted, freaking him out to the point where he strips in the street and growls at his family's car. [Ryan is SO crazy!] Lisa tells Tessa that she spilled it to the photographer so it's her fault.

ABC/RICHARD CARTWRIGHT

Later, Malik and his family are driving down the road when he sees Ryan running around without a shirt and acting like a wild animal. [what the??] They put him in the trunk and Ryan tells Malik what happened. [Lisa's pajamas were super cute!] Lisa asks Tessa to talk to Ryan about it all, and she shares that your parents are who raised you, and she winds up kissing him. [ahhh! and, Eugene Goldfarb?]

The Big Bang Theory "The Santa Simulation" (S06E11): Leonard wants to spend Saturday night playing Dungeons & Dragons with the guys, and though Penny finds it amusing, Bernadette and Amy aren't thrilled. The three of them parade around in hot dresses to show what the guys are missing, then go out for drinks, inviting Raj when his character dies early. Raj buys the drinks because he likes to pamper ladies so much that he gives his dog foie gras. [seriously??] The girls decide to find him a woman, but it doesn't work out. Plus, Amy gets offended that he once fell for Bernadette and Penny but not her, though they are able to commiserate over how lonely and sad they are. [uh oh. I hope the writers know what they're doing here!]

At the D&D game, meanwhile... Leonard gets Sheldon a scroll (his third favorite method of after stone tablets and skywriting) that features a quest with a holiday theme. Sheldon sings "Good King Wenceslas" to get them through a room, and they later play "Jingle Bells" on handbells. [Sheldon insisting on doing all of the verses was funny.] We learn that Leonard had to leave a research paper for Santa to grade. ["C- was your gift" was harsh!] Plus, Sheldon admits that, when he was five, he went to the mall and told Santa he wants his grandfather back for Christmas. [awww.] So, he decides to let the game's Santa die, causing him a nightmare where Santa sends a canon after him. [kinda crazy, I know.] 

Eddy Chen/Warner Bros.

Last Man Standing "Putting a Hit on Christmas" (S02E07): [odd shot of living room into kitchen. and Vanessa's necklace is ugly.] Mike asks Ed for a an idea for Vanessa for Christmas, so he suggests to steal the dog, let Vanessa freak out, then bring it back and be a hero. [tale as old as time! plus, Go On kinda just did this.] Vanessa admits to Mike that she misses simple Christmases before the kids and grandchild, so he decides to use that charade with his children. Mike gets Kristin to take Boyd to Winnipeg to see his other grandparents, sends Mandy on that Cancun trip, and allows Eve to go with another family so Aspen. Of course, there are problems along the way that he has to solve, like reuniting one of Mandy's friends with her cheating boyfriend and firing Eve from her holiday job as a gift-wrapper at the store. But, Eve figures out what's going on and cuts a deal - no questions about her next report card, as she's getting a D in art. [I hope we focus on that again at some point!]

ABC/CARIN BAER

Mike gives Boyd a snowglobe that plays "Little Drummer Boy," Vanessa's favorite carol. This gets her sad over missing everyone, so Mike makes everyone cancel their plans, reuniting them and looking to be a hero. [Kristin's tickets were refundable and Mandy's are good for a year??] Vanessa even decides to invite Ryan's parents to Denver.

Elsewhere, Ed accidentally shoots a bald eagle and tells Mike and Kyle. Ed and Kyle go to dispose of it, but the bird ends up still being alive. [this was kinda just filler, I feel.]   

2 Broke Girls "And the High Holidays" (S02E12): The girls don't have the money to pay their shoppe's rent, but Caroline doesn't want Andy to know. [typical.] Max has been doing "cupcake runs" at 2am, selling munchies to druggies. [awesome that her dealer tips her off! his name is Kieffer. Teen Mom 2, much? also, um... I don't think that California passed the marijuana bill, so was this taped pre-election and not changed?] Caroline thinks maybe it'll work out because there aren't drugs in the cupcakes, but after she witnesses a meth bust, she changes her mind, worrying that she'll get in trouble just by knowing about someone using. [haha.] Caroline won't ask Andy for money, so the girls try to evade their landlord by going out the bathroom window. Well, it turns out that Max got a big bag of pot from her dealer as a Christmas present, and when it accidentally pours into a pot, she makes drug cupcakes after all. [holy cow!] Caroline continues to be paranoid as Sophie come over and devours some, but then they feed them to their other friends as well, for thanks when they give them the money to make rent. [Oleg ($100), Earl ($50), and Han ($350)]

Darren Michaels/Warner Bros.

Max makes some calls and the girls go to a party to unload the goodies at $15 apiece. But, surprise! Andy shows up at the party to smoke weed, and Caroline goes out the window. [crazy antics!]

Also, we see the girls hosting a children's party where the kids threw frosting everywhere.

Cupcakery Total: $100.00. [finally! back to being poor!]

The Neighbors: A Celebration of Life

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Where was Reggie during this episode? I thought it was an odd episode to focus on Max, but, then again, it was an odd episode in general. I was hoping that the aliens-don't-eat-food storyling was going somewhere, but that ended up not happening. Also, did nobody put together that Juan died after seeing Jackie transform?? Larry deciding to resurrect the gardener was even stranger, so goodness knows what's going to happen if Juan ever returns from New Brunswick! I also thought that Marty questioning his own mortality was a bit rough in there, and Larry wondering what would happen to his children was very odd - Zabvronians don't have death at all? Are they invincible? I don't get it. what did you make of this episode?

The Neighbors "Juan of the Dead" (S01E10): Marty tries to get Larry to eat a bacon cheeseburger, but the Zabvronian isn't sure what would happen if he actually ate food. [hahaha.] After finally taking a bite, Larry declares that he doesn't like it. [I was half-expecting Larry to try improving upon the burger.] Debbie and Jackie go for a run, but the latter doesn't get tired or sore, upsetting the former.

When Juan, the neighborhood gardener, sees Jackie in Zabvronian form, he passes out and falls off a ladder, rendering him dead. [the Zabvronians have had a human gardener all this time?] The Bird-Kersees are not familiar with death, and Debbie also worries about how Max will take it, as he was friends with Juan. [hahahahaha at Debbie pretending to be Juan for Max!] The Zabvronians feel that the end of the world is upon them, so Marty explains that death is never painless and you can't see it coming. [ha!] They explain that humans are in denial that they're going to die - they just occupy themselves with other things, like cheeseburgers. Of course, Max questions death and his parents give him different answers. [murder-suicide! ha!] Then, the Weavers try to explain funerals to the neighborhood, who dress in Hawaiian garb for the "celebration of life."

ABC/ERIC MCCANDLESS

Jackie speaks, explaining that she thought he was half-man, half-machine at first. [hahahahaha!] Larry is determined to solve the problem of death, but ends up just resurrecting Juan, though he can't speak and doesn't know who anyone is. ["I've been working on the railroad" ?? love the Zabvronians sometimes!] But, in doing so, Larry used a vial from his father and can never do it again. [kinda odd, no?] Marty offers to take care of Larry's children if the worst should happen, but says that his sister will care for the Weaver kids if need be. [another funny line.] In the end, they decide to send Juan on a bus to New Brunswick, where he has family.

Thanksgiving Roundup: The Middle, The Neighbors, Suburgatory, Go On, Ben and Kate, The New Normal, Guys with Kids

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Happy Thanksgiving! If you're up early watching the parade, cooking, or preparing for football, we thought you'd like a nice run-down of some of this year's new Thanksgiving episodes. You can find several of them online, so if you need a break later on today (and don't want to watch more traditional holiday programming), consider giving some of these a try. First, the nutshell reviews and then the full recaps with remarks. 

The Middle: Everyone loves a great love story, and this episode has Brick enjoying a book about Love Story, Axl starting a new relationship, and Frankie's parents re-living their first date.

The Neighbors: The Weavers deal with having the Bird-Kersees over for the holiday while entertaining Marty's parents as well. In addition, Larry has to come to terms with Jackie's rebellious sisters.

Suburgatory: Tessa heads to Manhattan to see her mother and grandmother for the holiday, but her mother is nowhere to be found. When she returns home to a motley crew of recurring characters in her home, she is greeted by her long-lost mother as well.

Go On: The group decides to have Thanksgiving together, and Ryan decides to host it at the radio station because a) he's working and b) he wants to keep Steven from moving in on a potential love interest.

Ben and Kate: The night before Thanksgiving is a high school reunion for multiple grade levels, allowing Ben and Tommy to be cool kids once more while Kate (who is now on boyfriend-girlfriend level with Will) struggles to confront a bully.

The New Normal: David, Bryan, Goldie, and Rocky all have painful past experiences with Thanksgiving but decide to invite their families to celebrate together for the future of the baby. Things don't go as planned and each guest is booted from the event anyway.

Guys with Kids: Sheila wants to host for Chris and all of his friends' families while Gary is obsessed with purchasing a TV on Black Friday.

The Middle "Thanksgiving IV" (S04E08): [I thought it was funny that Frankie won't pay ten cents per bag at the grocery store so she carries everything herself.] Axl continues to flirt with his tutor, Cassidy. His foot also healed two weeks quicker than expected, so he's excited to get back on the field for the big game. But, his tutor says that football is a waste, causing Axl to wonder what he's doing. He decides to not let fear get in his way and he confesses to Cassidy that he likes her, inviting her to watch him play. [interesting... is Axl maturing?] But, her boyfriend is coming into town so she can't. He tries to cover by acting like he's inviting everyone to the game. [this reminded me of the first time my now-husband ever called me...] Meanwhile, the mascot head has been stolen by a rival school and Sue recruits Brad to help her get it back. Brad tries to have a "dance fight" but he gets beat up. [yep!] Sue tries to make a head on her own, but when that doesn't work she winds up wearing a bear head to the game. [I found it odd that nobody else really got involved with this plotline.] Axl overthinks playing and fumbles three times, so Sue gives him a pep-talk and he gets it together. [and we're supposed to believe that he listens to her now? wow, maybe he IS growing up!] Things end well for him as a scout reminds him that East Indiana really wants him AND Cassidy kisses him, telling her she broke up with her boyfriend. 

ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL

Now, the dinner-part of Thanksgiving... Frankie wants to host a couple of marines and is incredibly awkward about it, even saying the Pledge of Allegiance before Thanksgiving dinner. [ha!] Her parents make things worse when her father keeps droning on about nutrition (he lost four pounds recently). Things go so haywire at dinner that the Marines leave before dessert! 

The Neighbors "Thanksgiving is for the Bird-Kersees" (S01E08): [loved the early Marty line: "What could be more American than eating food to make room for more food?"] Jackie is profoundly depressed because she misses her sisters, who were exiled ten years ago for trying to overthrow Larry. [what was up with that crop-circle-like design??] Dick and Reggie decide to go visit the prisoners and invite them to Thanksgiving. Against his better judgment and sense of self-preservation, Larry does decide to let them be free once again. [though I hope that they're not going to be regulars!]

Marty is excited about Thanksgiving because he thinks he'll be able to impress his parents for once, but Debbie is stressed because she always gets criticized over her cooking. Marty suggests that they un-invite his parents and do things their way, and he makes up a lie about how the oven is broken. [...really?] But, as his parents begin to think that his new house is too small, he decides to let them come to show that he's doing well. [I'm surprised that Debbie isn't more upset about Marty's cowardice there!] But, they'll still be doing a deep-fried turkey. When the duo arrive, Marty's father doesn't even want a tour of the house while his mother gives the children hand-knit sweaters. [yeesh!] After Marty's mother starts in on everything about Debbie, her house, and her children, she stands up for herself and Marty defends her as well, sending his mother to sulk in the car. Dick decides to help by talking to Marty's mother about "changing the game" and not forcing mothers-in-law to keep their daughters-in-law "on their toes." [odd coming from Dick.] When she comes in, she actually compliments Debbie on her turkey, though everyone else dislikes it. 

ABC/PETER "HOPPER" STONE

Suburgatory "The Wishbone" (S02E05): Tessa wants to spend Thanksgiving with her mother in Manhattan. But, George plans to go to Dallas's for Thanksgiving this year, though without costumes. Dalia wants a Caribbean theme, but after Dallas finds out that Tessa won't be there, she decides to fire the chef and cook herself to "rally around" George. [um, I smell disaster!] But, George tries to cook and ruins potatoes trying not to have to pay "guest Alan" for advice. [I did think that $8 was a bit steep for a small pinch of advice! and, Carmen took the baby to see a witch doctor??]

Over at Lisa's, she's freaking out over how close Malik is getting to the family when Sheila invites him for Thanksgiving. Malik played touch-football with his family so he takes a shower when he gets there, but Sheila winds up seeing him naked, distressing Lisa more. 

ABC/ADAM TAYLOR

In Manhattan, Alex, Tessa's mother, is a no-show. She was supposed to bring the main course, so Tessa leaves early. When she gets home, Alex is there, initially thinking that Dalia is Tessa. [ha!] George is pretty upset that Alex didn't do what she was supposed to, but after some initial shock, Tessa and Alex talk. [the fake-snoring thing was awkward.]

Go On "Dinner Takes All" (S01E09): The group decides to have Thanksgiving together. ["Peter? sweetie, that's low self-esteem!" was hilarious! and cute The Brady Bunch moment with the heads!] Amy, a girl Ryan and Steven knew in college, is in town for a job interview and is staying with Ryan. [can we keep Lauren Graham, please? love her!] Amy and Ryan try to joke with Steven about how he doesn't know sports. But, Steven and Ryan both have feelings for her, and because of a broken fold-out couch, they share Ryan's bed, which makes him uncomfortable. [I bet!] So, when Steven announces that he's going to take Amy to Santa Barbara for Thanksgiving, Ryan decides that he should host Thanksgiving at the office and make his assistant do the cooking. [I thought that was rude, even for him!]

Ryan orders the group to create a de-sexualized atmosphere, but things get awkward quickly when Lauren offends Owen's mother and several of the others start bothering Amy. [Ann's two adopted children adoring Ryan wasn't as funny as I think it should have been.] Ryan decides to confront Steven, asking him to step aside because he might want to make a move in the future. So, they go to a bar and play an old game of see-how-many-sips-of-other-people's-drinks-you-can-take-before-getting-punched. [seriously? has anyone heard of anything like this before?] Ryan wins, almost breaking the ten-drink barrier. Ryan admits to Amy what's going on, and she tells him he has no chance with her right now - she won't be the first one after Janie, though she's always had feelings for him. [meh. I thought that was a weak way to end it... some far-off-future nonsense?]

(Photo by: Colleen Hayes/NBC)

Ben and Kate "Reunion" (S01E07): Ben and Tommy rescue a live turkey from the mall (people were bidding on it to eat for Thanksgiving) and Kate decides to let them keep it, though they later drop it off at a preserve.

Kate and Ben's high school reunion is the night before Thanksgiving, and Kate isn't looking forward to it because there was a girl who made her life miserable. [such an informal reunion! and I'll never understand how the multiple-grades thing plays on TV, with the exception of teeny schools like on Wings.] Will decides to go and help Kate "slay the dragon." [Kate AND Ben played Jesus Christ in Jesus Christ Superstar? how often did their school do that musical??] It's been eight years and Kate isn't thrilled with where she is in life, so she's not thrilled when the mean girl plays innocent.

Cr: Jennifer Clasen/FOX

Will tries to get the girls to do a sing-off, but Kate doesn't think she needs to prove anything. [um, okay?] She decides to brag about her awesome boyfriend, and that's the end of it. Plus, Tommy wants to make an entrance at the reunion, and resorts to asking Maddie for ideas. [not sure why this happened.] She suggests that he "lose the fro." Luckily, he doesn't go through with it.

Perhaps the bigger story, however, is that Ben and BJ got married seven years ago and kate doesn't know. Ben wants to tell because mail is coming to her house addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Ben Fox," but BJ thinks that the appropriate window has passed and they should just keep it a secret forever. Well, BJ decides to break the news during Kate's Thanksgiving toast... being even more honest than Ben expected. He thought it was a green-card-marriage when really BJ has dual citizenship but made Ben marry her so that he'd be around if Kate needed him, as he was going to head to Indonesia right when Kate became  pregnant. [I understand how this is supposed to be sweet, but it's a bit too odd.] 

The New Normal "Pardon Me" (S01E09): Goldie, Rocky, and the guys dish about how they don't like their family Thanksgivings so they decide to start their own traditions. [haha, Rocky wants to charge for the time spent having Thanksgiving with them!] Bryan and Shania go to get a turkey but didn't know that they'd have to choose a live one and kill it themselves, so they buy them all to liberate them, keeping them as pets. [what kind of theme is this??] After David's mother gives him a guilt trip, Shania suggests that everyone bury the hatchets and invite their families, including Goldie's grandmother, Shania's dad, Rocky's half-brother, and David's parents. [nobody for Bryan? I laughed at Jane as "the last real American, along with Newt Gingrich."] David's parents get through a fight and then get wild with one another. Then, Clay goes to hit Rocky's brother when he realizes that the guy has had a relationship going with Goldie for some time now.

(Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC)

Plus, Jane flips at the idea of a meatless Thanksgiving (they're having tofurkey at Shania's request) and goes hunting the backyard turkeys with a cleaver. [seriously??] All of the extra folks get kicked out, the tofurkey is terrible, and the core group orders pizza, deciding that they'll deal with families on Christmas but keep Thanksgiving sane in the future.  

Guys with Kids "Thanksgiving" (S01E09): Gary has decided that six months is too long to go without a television, so he plans to spend three days in line to get a Black Friday ultra-deal: a $4,000 television for $100. [say WHAT?? also, my brother will be spending the holiday in a similar situation, so I don't fault people who choose to do so.] Marny isn't upset that he could miss Thanksgiving with the family because she thinks he'll quickly wimp out. He starts out as the second person in line, but nobody will huddle with him and he gets upset. Marny tries to reason with him after one night on the street, but no dice. By Thursday, Gary has made peace with the cold by swapping spots with someone to be on top of a heating event - still keeping him sixth in line. Still, there's some fierce competition. 

Photo by: NBC

It's Ernie's first Thanksgiving so Sheila and Chris decide to celebrate together, at her place. [um, his birthday has already happened, so how is this his first one? perhaps he was in the NICU or something and didn't celebrate out of the hospital? or maybe the episodes were meant to be aired in a different order?] To make things less awkward, Chris invites Gary, Nick, and their families, having to cash-in a favor to get Nick and Emily to change their plans. Sheila wants to make a big fuss and theme everything, choosing to go for "historically accurate," complete with a boiled cod instead of turkey, no alcohol, no Oreo pie, and maple sap-soaked hickory nuts. [wow. that's worse than the Pilgrim-inspired meal on Everybody Loves Raymond! and what was Emily's outfit??] Yoda and Clark give the adults advice on how to get rid of the host's food and eat something else, but Sheila catches them snacking on stuffing in Emily's bag. [I didn't understand why the adults couldn't come up with a plan themselves... hiding food isn't new!!] Sheila freaks out and throws everything from the table out the window before she realizes that this group is so casual that she doesn't need to impress them. [her insults during this process were pretty intense.] Marny decides that they should all join Gary, and Sheila brings Subway sandwiches for everyone. [seriously, she wants them to pay her back??] When the doors open, Gary sicks his older kids on slowing down others, allowing him to actually get the big-screen!

The Neighbors: Abby's Birthday, Alien Mating Season

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Marty's speech to Larry explaining why he works gave me goosebumps. Debbie going crazy planning Abby's birthday was also pretty amusing. The next episode, however, didn't feature the younger children for more than a minute (a pity because it would have been interesting to see their reactions to the "mating season") and was more of an "appreciate your spouse" storyline than anything else. Tell the truth, compliment, make the other feel good, etc... just isn't all that intriguing. It's also certainly not designed for a family to watch, which is what I thought was the purpose of this series. Maybe it should move over to Friday night to join Last Man Standing and Malibu Country as "quirky" family shows... though, that's a separate problem.

The Neighbors "Larry Bird and the Iron Throne" (S01E06): Debbie explains birthdays to Jackie and Dick, and Abby's is soon so they decide Dick will join in. [Debbie's point about birthdays being a yearly chance to make up for the things you didn't do during the year was a bit on-the-nose, if you ask me.] The Weavers are planning to go all-out this year because they have the space for once and because Abby recently moved from all of her friends. [um, who has a birthday party episode but doesn't say how old the person is turning?? I assume she's now seven or eight.] The party includes a magician/clown, a princess bouncing castle (though the wrong one shows up), Rapunzel (though Darth Vader shows up), and a unicorn cake (though the wrong one is in the box). Distraught, Debbie confides in Jackie that she grew up in a large family where she shared a birthday celebration with two siblings every year, so she vowed to make her own children feel special on their birthdays. Though Max had warned Jackie of Debbie's fierce attitude near birthdays, Jackie decides to help by rounding up the Zabvronians. 

(ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL)

Marty talks to Larry about how crazed Debbie gets over her children's birthdays, so Larry decides to spend the week with Marty at work (he had previously planned on just a day of doing so). Similarly, Max warns Jackie. Well, at Marty's office, Larry immediately acts weird around Marty's boss. [I thought that the mobility issue would come into play, but apparently not.] Larry finds the work meaningless, but when Marty makes a mistake in the inventory and may need to miss the party to finish a report, Larry finishes it for him. [one point for friendship?]

Also, Reggie gets Amber a birthday present - a historical tile that shows her life. She's not interested in it, though, so when she says she misses her old street, he paints a mural on her bedroom wall. [awww! loved it! though I didn't notice it in the next episode...]

The Neighbors "50 Shades of Green" (S01E07): Marty and Debbie celebrate their 17th anniversary with a frozen pizza because the kids disagree with the restaurant choices. They don't realize that "the spark" is gone from their relationship, however, until they learn that it's Zabvronian mating season, which disrupts power when the aliens look deeply into one another's eyes and make a connection by saying the same word at the same time. Debbie asks Jackie exactly how Zabvronian intimacy works, and she says that it's spiritual, not physical. She then talks about how intimacy works for humans. [anyone else see this becoming a swinger-type thing? I mean, not really, it's a family show, but still...] Debbie wants to have more romance with Marty, but he's happy with how things are going. Similarly, Jackie tries to be physical with Larry, but he just complains.

Then, Larry uses an alien filmstrip to teach Marty about Zabvronian puberty. [step 1 for Earth invasion is to kill all of the bees? oooook...] Larry decides to romance Jackie (though he wears feminine lingerie) and Marty tries verbal affirmation with Debbie. They get right to the truth-telling and try to say the same thing at the same time but it doesn't work. Plus, Larry and Jackie show up, as Jackie hasn't "achieved satisfaction" and the couple wants to know why that's the case. Luckily, they're cut off when Reggie arrives, looking for advice on how to create an emergency. See, he and Amber were at a party and she got uncomfortable and asked him to come up with a reason so they would have to leave. [sidenote, hasn't Reggie made any other friends yet?] The four parents go with Reggie to "rescue" Amber. [loved that Larry, Marty, and Jackie are in bathrobes!] She's humiliated but thanks her father for being there, and Reggie for coming through for her in his own way. [yeah, no. I don't believe that.] She and Reggie even say "loser" at the same time, making the lightpole about the van turn off. [oh yeah, there was an earlier scene where Marty and Debbie freak out because it's Reggie's first mating season, but having "the talk" with Amber results in her just telling them that she's well-informed. [typical teenager, you know.]

Halloween 2012: The Middle, The Neighbors, Suburgatory, South Park, Guys with Kids, The Big Bang Theory, 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Ben and Kate

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Although a couple of shows have yet to air their Halloween-inspired episodes because of multiple pre-empting conditions, I wanted to go ahead and give you guys recaps of all of the Halloween episodes I've seen this year. [except The Simpsons, who did theirs really early.] The episodes below appear in the order in which they aired. When shows like Go On and The New Normal finally run theirs, they'll be posted separately.

It's an interesting year for television in that I can't remember the last time that so many different shows actually featured Halloween episodes! I was pretty excited, actually, as they kept showing up in the descriptions on my DVR. One can only hope that Thanksgiving and Christmas will also bring us such festive storylines, but we'll see!

The Middle "Halloween III: The Driving" (S04E06): Brick tells the school that his mother isn't working so she's available to volunteer at the school Halloween carnival. [I find it hilarious that the Hecks don't have Called ID with all of the people they try to avoid!] Though Frankie winds up having to bring home a bunch of extra goldfish, she is able to get Mrs. Donahue to agree to take Brick trick-or-treating. [...what did they do with the fish?] The kid returns home with a huge Halloween haul - about 500 pieces! [holy moly!]

ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL

Frankie wants to send most of it to the soldiers overseas, so she tells him he can only keep it for 24 hours. [except she's TOTALLY the type of mother who would keep it for herself instead.] In true childhood fashion, Brick manages to eat ALL OF IT in that time period. He winds up acting semi-normal for a few days, very focused and social, only to crash from the sugar eventually. [but with Mike and Frankie now aware of this "trick," I can see them employing it more often than "special occasions"!]

Sue has her learner's permit, but is taking her time getting ready to drive an actual car, wasting time picking out a keychain and practicing puttering around the house. She freaks out on both Frankie and Mike, saying that they rush her, but on her third try things get worse - she runs over Axl's foot and is so distraught that Mike eventually has to throw her from the car and back up so the tire is no longer on Axl! [omg that's terrible!] Oh, and by the way, Axl is really taking his new responsibility as a registered voter seriously, so when both of his parents aren't home on Election Day (and he can't drive because of a broken foot), Sue manages to pull herself together and drives him to the polls (with Aunt Edie riding along to be the "adult supervision"). [good for Sue!]

The Neighbors "Halloween-ween" (S01E05): The Weavers have always wanted to take their children trick-or-treating in a neighborhood instead of an apartment building, so they're pretty psyched about the houses in the area. [Christmas! Thanksgiving! Halloween! was cute.] Max and Marty being Nemo and Marlin while Abby is being Rapunzel. Amber was the financial collapse last year and will be Obamacare this year, though the pun is for Debbie's sake - Amber is really doing Sexy Nurse. But, when Max and Abby talk about Halloween on the school bus, a girl invites him to trick-or-treat with her, so he wants to go as a zombie to fit in.

ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL

The Zabvronians are paranoid about people coming into the community on Halloween, so they set-up scarecrows and prepare for an invasion. Jackie asks the Weavers to teach everyone in the neighborhood about Halloween. Larry is skeptical, especially of weapons. When they open their gates to trick-or-treaters, the community panics, taking shelter at Larry's. He eventually decides to answer the door for a little girl, gives her a piece of candy, and then tells everyone to go ahead home to answer their doors. [Jackie as Effie Trinket?]

Meanwhile, Reggie wants to get in on Amber's costume, but he was thinking "Death Penalty" until she tells him to go as Sexy Doctor. This falls through because he dresses as a sexy nurse, plus Debbie and Marty are sad that Amber has "gone slutty" instead of topical. Their hands are still full, however, as they take Dick along, and he   dresses as Debbie (someone he admires), complete with a Marty puppet. [he NAILS it! that was hilarious and got better as time went on!] In the end, Amber and Reggie bail on a party and join the Weavers, who have reunited because Abby wants her parents to help her scam adults and Max wants to avoid Emma because she wants them to be boyfriend-girlfriend. [not the funniest ever but some poignant moments and a great bunch of Debbie/Marty jokes!]

Suburgatory "The Witch of East Chatswin" (S02E02): Dallas goes to the Country Club Halloween Party as Barbie, planning to get George to be her Ken. But, he doesn't think he can pull off the look, so she decides to take Dalia as Skipper. [hahaha! I'm glad to hear that Skipper still exists. I think Tutti/Todd, Stacie, Kelly, Chelsea, and Krissy have all faded, LoL.] George thinks about going as Jerry Seinfeld, but he can't do the jokes, so he decides to go as Noah after learning his best friend is shadowing him to get the mannerisms and voice accurate enough to go as him! [is this a thing? going as your friends? between these guys and Dick going as Debbie on The Neighbors, I'm not sure what's going on here.] At the party, The guys are shocked at how differently they're treated as one another. Dalia tells George about how her mother wanted to go to the party with him, and he decides to confront Dallas and ask her out.

ABC/ADAM TAYLOR

"It's Stripper Shoe Season!" After Tessa tries to get Dalia and her friends to not objectify themselves this year, she thinks that someone is following her, even planting a creepy book in her backpack. [it was a bit odd, let's not lie.] Sheila burns the book, saying it's from "a witch," a girl who took shop class, opened her own pudding cups, and ruined a doll. [why does Tessa have an office in the school bathroom at this point??] Tessa decides to seek out this "witch," and runs when she sees a "coven of witches" over a cauldron. [I liked Tessa as Daphne, Lisa as Velma, and Malik as Fred for the Scooby-Doo gang. Ryan also dressing as Fred was only slightly funny.] Turns out, Paula was just running a book club, and she tells Tessa that she's also into female empowerment. [haha, Chatswin sees witches and feminists as the same.] Sheila leads a mob towards them, but Paula disappears. [does Tessa have a new friend as well as a new cloak? hmmmm...] Tessa realizes that her mother was a brave feminist to "leave the world that was thrust upon her,"though George doesn't see it that way. [and, neither do I.]
 
South Park "A Nightmare on Facetime" (S16E12): Randy buys a Blockbuster, still full of DVDs and BluRays. He makes the family work with him, and nobody comes the first two days that they're open. You get the feeling that renting DVDs is so antiquated that young children no longer know what it means. By the fifth day, someone comes in to rent Turner and Hooch... but it turns out to be a ghost... the first of many. The next day is Halloween, but Randy won't let Stan join his friends to celebrate. [Butters as a were-prechuan was great, but I should have seen Jimmy as Gangnam Style in advance!] Stan is to be the Captain America to go along with Kyle as Thor, Cartman as the Hulk, and Kenny as IronMan. But, using iPads, Stan trick-or-treats via FaceTime, moving forward on a skateboard somehow. [I didn't like how that part wasn't explained.] People don't get that Cartman is the Hulk, thinking he's Honey Boo Boo or Bruce Vilanch or Chas Bono. [so odd! I feel like it's really easy to guess, especially in the context of the other kids!]

photo courtesy: Comedy Central

The kids decide to try stopping a convenience store robbery, but when there are more villains than they expected (and a dead cashier), they split, but Stan-via-Facetime is captured and tortured, via scratching the glass. [odd. funny. kinda suck. interesting all around!] The bad guys dump the iPad in a field, where a couple finds it and brings it to the hospital. Stan explains that the robbers are going to the Monster Mash at the community center, and he goes "in disguise" as GangamStein. [loved the jokes about the "Monster Mash," and everyone dressed as Gangnam Style is funny.] Meanwhile, at Blockbuster, Randy talks to an employee ghost, then goes after the family, taking over Stan's FaceTime until he's thoroughly shot. [this was too weird.] The battery dies before Stan can help the Avengers win the costume contest, Shelly burns down the video store, and we're back to status quo by the end. 

Guys with Kids "Apartment Halloween" (S01E06):  The building's co-op president died, and the new president, Linda, takes down all of Nick and Emily's Halloween Haunted Hallway decorations. ["what do I look like, the grim reaper?" was weak. cute change in font for the credits, tho.] But, she's really into Chris (immediately giving him extra storage space for no reason), so Nick and Sheila decide to team-up and use Chris to get what they want - Halloween decor for him and permission to alter the apartment for her. Sheila and Nick set up Chris with Linda, saying that they'll only be friends if he helps them, so he turns it around and forces them to share food and hug, like real friends would. [hahaha!] However, all bets are off when it seems that Linda wants Chris to dress like her father. In a possible future storyline, Emily and Sheila both proposed to run for co-op president next time.

(Photo by: Vivian Zink/NBC)

Because the now-dead president was Gary and Marny's neighbor, they want to buy that apartment and expand their own place... but it has to be on the market for a week before a current tenant can buy it. [is this a common rule?] The family goes crazy trying to get people to hate the apartment by spreading a story about how the previous tenant died via explosion, and her body was eaten by ants for two weeks before it was found. [gruesome!] Of course, this winds up backfiring when the boys are scared to live there because of the stories, and the lights mysteriously flicked off when the family was taking a look at the place. [I was only half on-board with this plotline. If the family is to expand, I wouldn't do it so early in the series!]

The Big Bang Theory "The Holographic Excitation" (S06E05): Raj offers to help Stuart throw his 9th annual Halloween party, going so far as to theme the menu, "foods that go bump in the night," to include "Halloweenies" and "Draculoni and Cheese." [a little cheesy but I like the concept.] Raj goes as Indian Jones, Bernadette and Howard go as Smurfs, Penny goes as a sexy cop, Leonard goes as Einstein, and Stuart goes as Willy Wonka. Amy asks Sheldon to dress in a couples costume, and he agrees a bit readily, though he wants R2D2 and C3PO to her Romeo & Juliet or Cinderella & Prince Charming. [other ideas included Hewlett & Packard, Batman & Robin, Jobs & Wozniak, Kirk & Spock, Arhtur Dent and Ford Prefect, The Doctor & a Dalek, Salt & Pepper, Raggedy Ann & Andy, and Dharma & Greg. You can figure out who suggested which!] In the end, Amy goes as Raggedy Anne and Sheldon as Raggedy C3PO, which is a robot with a wig. [funny and disturbing.]

Warner Bros.

Howard gives out autographed, framed photos of himself in his NASA suit, leading Leonard and Sheldon to see if they can talk about any single topic without Howard bringing up his space trip, but it's not working. [haha at Sheldon shaking Leonard's p0wn fist!] Bernadette decides to try telling Howard that he shouldn't bring it up in every single conversation, but he's bummed out until Raj sends Howard a video of Buzz Aldrin handing out candy (Milky Ways and Moon Pies!) to trick-or-treaters, telling each child he went to space.

Penny goes to Leonard's lab to see him work on a hologram that you can move with your hands, and they end up getting frisky. The next thing he shows her is a levitation thing (through magnets), with the same result. [okay, so they're definitely together, got it.]

Mockingbird Lane (Special): [note that I'm calling this a special, though technically it's a pilot to 1313 Mockingbird Lane, which may never see the light of day again.] On a camping trip, a bear snatches a couple of scouts and the rest run to the car for the night. In the morning, young Eddie is out there, and the situation causes the family to move unexpectedly to 1313 Mockingbird Lane, a condemned home that was scheduled to be torn down because a serial killer took out his aggression on hobos there. [creepy! also, this appears to be in the San Francisco area... interesting.] Movers deliver rats, which combine to form Grandpa. [um, what??] Smoke comes out of an accompanying box to showcase Lily, who calls upon spiders to wrap her dress. [neat!] Herman and Lily talk about Eddie's "baby bear attack" and think that two more rounds will happen (every 29 days?) before he becomes majorly suspicious. But, Lily winds up talking about how she tries not to eat things but sometimes it happens, and Herman explains that Eddie WAS the baby bear... though he's really a werewolf. Eddie is freaked out, as he had just decided that he didn't even want to eat meat anymore. [I felt that scene came out of nowhere... perhaps something was cut?] To help the boy cope, his parents get him a pet dragon to help protect him from eating anything the next time it happens. [is it partially invisible?]

Herman collapses as his heart gives out from loving too hard. [awww. #firstworldproblem?] Grandpa puts in a new one but Herman demands the old one be put back inside, only to later need a transplant... from another person. Enter Steve, who is the pack leader of Eddie's new scout troop and has no family. Grandpa invites him over with the intention of devouring him, which Eddie knows because he has seen his grandfather transform into a pterodactyl of sorts to eat a mountain lion. Sure enough, Steve's heart is put into Herman and Grandpa drinks the blood. [creepy!]

Photo by: Jordin Althaus/NBC

We also learn that Grandpa can pause time at the snap of a finger when he and Marilyn (a cousin) take some cookies (into which Grandpa put blood) to the neighbors. 

Ben and Kate "Scaredy Kate" (S01E06): BJ wants Kate to be wh0rish for Halloween, and she decides to go for it when a neighbor is throwing a party. So, she foes as a Babe Ruth / Bader Ginsberg mix, with a sluttier baseball costume underneath. With BJ's coaxing, she even kisses the host immediately. But, she realizes that she's not being herself, leaves, and on her way home meets a guy with whom she has a lot in common, and they call the police over the party noise. [I understand that Kate is supposed to be an incredible goody-goody (hello, massive emergency kit?), but this storyline was very curtailed, I thought.] She also manages to finally scare Ben by pretending that a razor blade cut up her mouth. [gotta admit, that was a bit horrifying!]

Cr: Jennifer Clasen/FOX

Tommy wants to go to the club, but Ben thinks they should answer the door for trick-or-treaters and hit on hot moms. [haha!] But, Tommy eats a couple of BJ's candies, which are from Amsterdam. [hint, hint.] Tommy wants to go to the hospital, but Ben decides to join him in ecstasy, and after one set of trick-or-treaters, they decide to bail on that plan. [omg, BLTs are the ONLY sandwich I eat with mayonnaise! I'm like Kate, LoL!]

Also, Maddie is dressed as Marie Curie. [her previous costumes include Baby Ghandi, tiny Geraldine Ferraro and the Death of Print Journalism. mmhmm...]