Homer a Barber; Arcadian NOT a Landmark; Charlie Born

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Reviews & Commentaries for "scripted" shows this week include: Simpsons, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, House, How I Met Your Mother, The Middle, Better with You, and South Park.

Sunday: 

The Simpsons "Homer Scissorhands" (S22E20): Opens with Homer riding a flying carpet past the clouds. [somewhat amusing.] "I do not deserve a Mother's Day gift for being 'one badass mother'" was the chalkboard writing. [meh.] Couch gag is the family sneaking into the Smithsonian, trying to blend in, and finding a way to sit on their cough. [long and inventive - I liked it!] Bart ruins Lisa's painting. [sad. makes me angry he did that.] Bart spills paint on his aunt's hair, then pours paint thinner in it and burns a hole. Home cuts the hair, and it ends up looking great! [Funny Spice Girls reference.] The other aunt wants her hair done, and Homer cuts it, too. Milhouse watched the entire movie Finding Nemo, instead of starting at the "first day of school" scene, and is now freaked out about death, since Nemo's mother dies at the start of the film. More people from the community want their hair cut by Homer, so he begins doing styles. "Home Fingerhands." [haha] Then, a joke about not being able to find commercial property, followed by a ghost town of closed businesses. [well done. and at least they didn't show us a video rental store again!] Milhouse announces in the cafeteria that Lisa is the greatest, plays her the theremin [yeah, I had to look up the spelling on this one!], and that he won’t rest until they are boyfriend-girlfriend. Lisa says that she’ll never love Milhouse, and a 5^th grade girl (Taffy) comes up to Milhouse and tells him that he’s sweet. Homer gets tired of listening to women while he cuts their hair. Homer tries to quit, then tries to do a bad job, but neither work. [Funny joke about how nothing can kill Homer, haha.] Lisa goes online to figure out why Taffy likes Milhouse, but that doesn’t help... so she stalks them. Taffy has a bunch of inhalers. Taffy breaks up with Milhouse because he still loves Lisa. Lisa kisses Milhouse, since “life is full of unexpected things.” [oooooook...] Marge gets her hair done by a “Julio” to get everyone to go to someone besides Homer. The episode ends with Homer washing Marge’s hair in the backyard at sunset. [odd]
[Season Finale May 22nd]

Monday:

House, M.D. "The Fix" (S07E21): We open with two guys in the middle of nowhere, but it turns out that they're just helping to demonstrate a bomb of sorts to the military. A woman who was explaining the bombs goes into a seizure after the explosion. Then, we see House doing physical therapy at his place, alone. Then, House is with the team in the conference room, discussing the patient. Wilson comes in, claiming that House owes him $50... they bet on a fight. [why are they betting each other on everything these days?] House meets with the boxer who lost, and tries to find out if the guy threw the fight. House comes back to Wilson with a photo of the boxer's eyes and talks about how he has a disease. Wilson retorts, "the bet was on who would win, not who would live the longest," [hahahahaha love it!] but that doesn't shut up House. Foreman believes that perhaps the woman was poisoning herself... via alcohol. [I love it when the team walks together, makes a decision, then they all head separate directions.] Meanwhile, House has performed an EKG on the boxer, but it was normal. The seizure patient gets severe abdominal pain. House's pain is clearly getting worse, and we see him shoot up drugs, and he clearly has a ton of other marks. [awww... sad. I don't like to see people become addicted to drugs.] Foreman goes to Cuddy about House being weird, but she just says that he'll be fine and Foreman should do his own job. Thirteen sees House shoot up (Cuddy and Wilson both asked Thirteen to break in), and declares that it's not heroin, it's something else. House is taking a muscle-regrowth thing that had good results in tests on rats. [commercial for ItGetsBetter with Foreman, Thirteen, Taub, Chase, and Cuddy was interesting. I wonder why no Wilson?] House goes to the lab that is conducting the rat study to find out some information about maximum dosage tolerance, and ends up stealing some of the medicine. [go figure, could have seen that coming!] Then, back at the hospital, the original patient has horrific blisters on her gums... like they had been burned. [scary!] House is experimenting with the boxer some more, then goes to a bar and realizes that the leg medicine is working. Turns out, the original patient was being poisoned by one of her two boyfriends. And, House solves the problem with the boxer. [scenes from the next reveal that House may have tumors from the medication, and may try to remove them himself. yikes.]  
[Season Finale May 23rd]

How I Met Your Mother  "Landmarks" (S06E23): NYC Landmarks Preservation Committee is giving a final decision about The Arcadian. Marshall has some really bad rhymes about keeping the Arcadian. [I did like how the one guy had Marshall come up and finish his final rhyme... it was bothering me, too!] "feelin' fine and getting some jine" was a bit much. [I'm also finally seeing Jennifer Morrison as Zoey now, instead of Cameron from House.] Ted is still set on naming his children Luke and Leia. [haha. oh, and there were a LOT of pictures of that dog in Barney's associate's office!] Robin talks about playing chess, which turns into Angry Birds, but then she admits she was just lying. [haha.] Ted struggles over what he's going to say at the meeting. Ted ends up saying that The Arcadian should NOT be a landmark, but Zoey gets up and plays an old tape recording of Ted talking about why The Arcadian SHOULD be a landmark. [b!tch! I can't believe it! and, weird thirty seconds of talking about buying a beer!] Lily comes up with an idea, but they don't tell us what it is "for legal reasons," though it is implied that they cut the lion heads off the building, and since those were the intriguing part of the building, it is no longer a landmark. Then, Zoey and Ted break up. [On the whole, this was not a strong episode, and the end was certainly weak.] 
[Season Finale May 16th]

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "Young at Heart" (S03E21): Adrian is trying on wedding dresses for Grace. The first doesn't quite fit, so the salesperson looks for something with an empire waist. Adrian tells Grace that she had sex with Ben. Adrian tells Grace that Ben was fun and crazy in bed. [he's only had sex once before... and it was with the same person... so how does he know how to do "crazy things"?] Adrian is thinking that she wants a church wedding, and thinks of getting Jack's dad to perform the ceremony at Grace's church. [odd.] Grace went to ask Amy if she wants to help plan a shower for Adrian... Amy's a bit iffy on it, but agrees. [I would've been reluctant, too!] Amy calls Ricky, and there is still tension about her not moving in. Adrian comes over to Amy's to thank her for helping with the shower, and implies that it needs to be really nice. Adrian alludes to the fact that she had sex with Ben. [Adrian is telling everyone, despite the fact that she told Ben that she wouldn't.] Ricky calls Amy and asks her if she wants to have sex right then, and Amy declines. Leo shows Ben some paperwork about what his inheritance will be, and he's excited. Leo questions the happiness, and Ben ends up confessing that he had sex with Adrian and that's why he's happy. Leo was afraid it was drugs or alcohol, and tells Ben that he doesn't want to hear about his sex life. Ben doesn't want a pre-nup, but Leo tells him that it's a good idea. [um. yeah. when you're worth tens of millions, I'd have to agree.] He explains the trust that is built for Ben's daughter and whatnot. Then, Leo tells Ben an old anecdote about how, if you put a penny into a bucket for each time you have sex during your first year of marriage, it'll take you fifty years to retrieve each penny if you took one out each time you had sex after that first year. [interesting. I hadn't heard that.] Ben is skeptical. Tom complains to Ricky and Jack that he's been taking the bus for a week and still hasn't met anyone. [awww. LoL.] Ricky asks Jack how he manages not to have sex, and Jack tells Ricky about the sex between Ben and Adrian. Jack tells Grace that he didn't ask his dad about performing the ceremony for Ben and Adrian, since he doesn't owe Grace any favors. Turns out, Grace called Jack's dad and got him to agree to perform the ceremony, and Grace also accuses Jack of not loving Madison, and that's why they're not having sex. [so soap opera!] Adrian invites Amy to go with her to pick up the wedding dress, but Amy declines. Henry and Alice ask Adrian and Ben to hang out, but Adrian and Ben only want to have sex all weekend. Henry catches on, but Alice doesn't agree. Garrett asks Grace to meet his parents. Jack looks on with a strange look. [not sure how I feel about that!] Ricky tries to get Amy to spend the night again, but she says the timing isn't right. Amy tells Ricky that she wants complete control over when they have sex... forever. Ricky has no response, except to say that he thought that their relationship was more than sex. Grace's mom doesn't consider 5:30pm to be dinner time yet, so she's weirded out that Grant's parents are coming over. [really? it's not too common, but it's not way off, either!] She also thought that the last shower that Grace threw was lame, so she's working on coming up with some ideas for Adrian's, even though she's not invited. [I would be weirded out if my mom told me I threw a bad party!] Grant's mom shows up, and then his dad appears... his dad is significantly older than his mother. Turns out, his mom was born in 1969, and his dad was born in 1930... nearly a forty year difference! [caught me a bit by surprise!] Amy complains a bit about being a teen mother, then Ashley makes it about her and her date with Toby. George offers Amy $200 to use to throw the shower, and Amy feels like George is more giving with others than with her. Toby brings his step-sister, Carly, who teaches geography at a community college nearby. She's about 27, and she hits on Ricky when he shows up. We end with Ricky and Amy at the driving range. [who's watching John??]

Wednesday:
The Middle "The Prom" (S02E22):  Brick and Arlo have a play to do for Frankie and Mike. They enjoy it. Axl has a couple friends over and they’re talking about prom. [I don’t get how Axl has no idea who Ashley is… he has her phone number, it has to be an Ashley he knows!] Frankie tells Axl that he has to take “Weird Ashley” to the prom because he asked her. Mike says that he can still back out (prom is two weeks away), but he has to tell her in person. Sue is still doing cue cards for the school’s television program. She got her lunch with her friend, but since they don’t have friends at any of the lunch tables, they walk around and take turns holding a tray so they can eat. Her friend convinces her to try and sit with one of the girls from the television show, but they drop their tray and decide maybe they’ll try the next day. [charming geeks!] Brick and Arlo do another skit. It’s a sequel of the first and it doesn’t work. The next day, Brick has a skit all by himself. Ashley’s mom calls Frankie to coordinate colors for prom, and Frankie has to confront Axl about not breaking it off with Ashley. She tells him that he now has to go with her (she bought a purple dress) or he can’t go at all, and he threatens to be a jerk and not go at all. Sue continues to try and get with the B table, trying all sorts of random things… but when someone actually talks to her, she panics. [what kinda geeks don't have a contingency plan of topics?? #fail] The reverend comes over for dinner and to talk to the family. Brick wants to do a show for him, Sue wants advice, but Frankie really wants him to talk to Axl about the prom thing. Mike says that Brick’s shows are endless and boring… right in front of him. Mike tells Brick about practice and preparation rather than improv. [and what he said made sense, I think he put it at a good level.] Sue and her friend make it to the B table… just in time to get deserted when some slots at the A table open up. [ain't that the way! tho I was surprised that they went back to walking-and-eating instead of sitting there!] Axl decides to go with Ashley to prom, since the reverend told him “it’s just one night, man. Be cool.” Ashley ended up being odd and quirky and into wizards. Brick does another skit. [I liked the reverend’s songs.]

Better With You "Better with the Baby" (S01E22):   Opens with Mia calling Maddie from a cab to say that she’s gone into labor. Maddie tells Casey that they won’t show up until later on, as per Mia's request… as she and Ben are getting into a cab. [LOVE this family!] One of Ben’s biggest fears is dying ironically. [I find that very amusing. And very Ben!] Vicki and Joel start walking to the hospital, since it’s a 90-minute walk and they have plenty of time… Vicki tells Joel to keep going, she needs to rest… but she just hails a cab instead. [hahaha!] Ben and Maddie beat Casey and Mia to the hospital. Vicki also beats Mia to the hospital. When Mia and Casey check in, the admin makes a joke about them not being married… but Mia is insistent that they will get married… so insistent that she demands that Casey take the woman’s information and invite her to the wedding. [hahaha, love it!] Joel walks in and the admin thinks that he’s had a heart attack. Joel sits in a wheelchair and wheels off for coffee. Maddie stole some nurse’s paperwork and now knows the occupation of each patient on the floor… to get new job ideas. [definitely quirky.] Maddie runs off, asking to be texted when the baby is crowning. There’s an ongoing joke about the child not calling Ben “uncle,” since he and Maddie are not married. [I’m surprised that multiple people are “making the mistake” of calling Casey “the husband” …it’s not that uncommon for people to give birth unmarried. Why not just say “the father” ??] Mia realizes that she called off the wedding for superficial reasons (not wanting to look fat, wanting to be able to drink champagne and eat sushi, etc.), and wants to have the wedding right there in the room. Casey supports her. Ben is a registered officiant, but Casey tells him that he’d like him to be the best man instead. Maddie uses her patient list to find a judge, and Vicki and Joel go to find “something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue” at the gift shop. Richard from Gilmore Girls is the judge, and he says that they need a license. There’s a courthouse three blocks away, and Ben runs out with Casey to get the license. There’s a line, and Casey tries asking people to let him cut, but nobody is letting him. Ben tells Casey to stare at a specific woman for a minute… as his bachelor party. [hahaha, brilliantly clever. I also liked her dress!] Vicki and Joel steal a necklace from a comatose patient for the borrowed, they get a little stuffed bear for the new, a surgical glove for the blue, and the old isn't mentioned. Mia’s contractions are getting closer together, and Maddie calls Ben & Casey. Casey tries to pull the “love” card, and just begins telling people that his reason for being there is better than theirs. Maddie acts like she’s not really having contractions, and the nurse announces that she’ll need to start pushing. Ben, Casey, and the judge return. Vicki is upset that Joel threw away an heirloom handkerchief the night before their wedding, and she thinks that maybe something would be different if she had carried it on her wedding day. Joel comes back saying that he wishes nothing were different – that he loves her, yada yada. They both admit that they wouldn’t change a thing. Maddie made bouquets out of wrapping paper and tongue depressors… and hers is bigger than Mia’s. [haha.] The judge doesn’t know how to officiate a wedding. [of course.] Casey starts his vows, but since Mia goes into another contraction, he says that he’ll just email the speech to her later. [dates the show to the 21st century, haha!] Ben googles “how to officiate a wedding” and hands his phone to the judge, who reads it off the screen. Vicki makes a joke about Maddie wanting to get married all of a sudden when she tries to help Mia through the “I do” part. [I laughed!] Joel got a haircut and saw a Giants game when Vicki gave birth. Casey wants to name the baby “Charlie,” and Mia says “Spencer.” They go with “Charlie” anyway, even though they had decided upon “Spencer” months ago. Maddie decides that she doesn’t need a new career, she needs a baby… Ben says “okay.” [I get goosebumps.] Then, we see each couple talking to the baby, but since we see it from the baby’s perspective, all we hear is “blah blah blah.” [And, while this aired as a season finale, it became a series finale today. The show was canceled.] 

South Park "Royal Pudding" (S15E03):  The kindergartners are doing a play on dental health. Ike is playing “tooth decay,” but he’s not there because he’s at home watching coverage of “The Royal Wedding.” They are two weeks into tech rehearsals, allegedly. [jigga what?? Something’s wrong if you’re doing two weeks of tech rehearsals, LoL.] Ike, being Canadian, is amused with the Prince and Princess of Canada exchanging their vows. Terrence and Phillip are there. And recording artists. Canada’s cars have square wheels. [haha.] The Queen of Canada is wearing all yellow, the crowd tosses Cap’n Crunch at the groom as he walks down the aisle, and there’s a vat of butterscotch pudding at the altar. [I adored how they played “The Entrance for the Queen of Sheba” for the Princess to walk down the aisle. We had that in our prelude. What was with the super-long Train? Diana? The pudding tradition was odd as well.] The abbey begins to collapse, and the Princess ends up in a cube that floats away. The “little mushroom people of Nova Scotia” run around in horror. [they were funny. So toadstool!] Back to the school play. [The candy shouldn’t be singing the lines about working together to prevent tooth decay.] Ike just cries. Short reference to deadly tornadoes. There are worldwide suicides because the Princess is gone… all Canadians are supposed to go home and “open their box of faith.” [what??] Ike rushes home, pulls a box out of his closet, opens it as instructed by the Canadian Prime Minister, and sees a projector start showing a message about a call to arms, to meet "at the tree in Edmonton"… eat a sandwich from the box, find a beacon and a first aid kit [but I heard “birthday cake” instead of “first aid kit,” LoL.] Ike goes off to battle. Meanwhile at school, the older kids are doing math… using the “Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo” song to learn algebra. [haha.] Kyle has to fill in for Ike in the play. In Canada, they think a giant has captured the Princess, and they’re going to use "crodino" (an orange soda) to fight it. All of the Canadians are dressed in random armor, and everyone leaves when it turns out it’s not the giant. The giant suggests that it’s the Native Canadians who took the Princess. The director blows up at the kids in the play. “Snow Monkey” and “Ice Beaner” and “Polar Gook” were all used by the giant to describe the Natives. They find the Princess in an ice castle. Tooth Decay is the enemy, and was frozen by looking at Ugly Bob’s face. Back at school, Mr. Mackey is freaking out at the kids again. Mr. Mackey relaxes when he finds out that “tooth decay” was captured… turns out that he lost his Dad to it six years ago. Back at the Canadian abbey, we see bells ringing that look like butts and penises… [weird!] Ugly Bob, Giant Scott, and a Native receive medals of white chocolate. [so many odd things in this episode!] Ike becomes a knight, receives three pairs of socks, and then they go on with the wedding… the Prince rips off one of the Princess’s arms, sticks it up his @$$, and the episode is over. [wow. dang. what?!?! ]

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Off season/Coming Up:
Switched at Birth (Monday, June 6th at 9pm)
Hot in Cleveland (June 15th picks us up at Season 2, Episode 11)
Futurama (Season 6, episode 14 on June 23rd)

Melissa & Joey (season 2 starts June 29th, 8pm)
Terra Nova (premiering in September)  
Mr. Sunshine (Canceled. we saw nine episodes.) 
The Paul Reiser Show (Canceled. we saw two episodes.)