Elementary - Hobo Hunt 2014

Elementary "Corpse De Ballet" (S02E15): A note on Holmes' door boldly states "coitus in progress," as Watson continues about her daily routine. Watson points out Holmes' promiscuity and he feels a bit judged. In the meantime, a dancer is found dead at a ballet rehearsal.

The duo show up to find that someone rigged the backdrop to cut the dancers' body in half and dump her onto the stage when it came down. Detective Bell is surprisingly off desk duty and helps track down the place when the dancer was killed with a knife. The murder weapon turns out to be a boxer cutter owned by the lead ballerina, whom they interview (Holmes is a fan). Watson calls out Holmes on his fanboy-ness towards her, but she is called away when a homeless man she knows was taken to a hospital and apparently had a psychotic episode. 

Bell and Holmes visit the deceased dancer's ex-boyfriend, whose alibi doesn't check out. The prima ballerina and her lawyer show up at the precinct, but was uncooperative and going to leave the country to teach a class, so Gregson charges her with the murder.

Watson awakens the next morning to find the murder suspect coming out of Holmes' room. Apparently, she initiated the encounter but Holmes followed through only to verify his suspicion about her have a torn rotator cuff. Watson heads off to track the homeless man's missing friend and Holmes heads to meet with the diva's lawyer to start going through her files.

Watson finds the missing man's sister, who informs her he has extreme PTSD and drug issues. Pulled away by a text from Holmes, Watson joins him to see the paparazzo the diva put a restraining order on and sued her for destroying his camera. He was not very cooperative either, and the duo are called back by Bell, who has discovered from a stolen voicemail that the diva was dating the dead girl. They interview her and she confesses to seducing the girl and guilting her into giving up the lead role. Holmes concludes her phone must be cloned and the paparazzo confesses to it, but also has an alibi.

Holmes probes further and determines the stolen voicemail was recorded from the actual phone and is a recording of a recording. Holmes questions Watson on why she is helping this homeless man and she reveals that her biological father is schizophrenic and homeless. She volunteers at the homeless shelter to see him, unable to convince him to stay on his medication, though she hasn't seen him in nearly two years. Going through the missing man's bag, Watson discovers the sister she met wasn't really his sister...

Holmes discovers a noise on the voicemail matching one from the automatic door closer in the diva's lawyer's office, so he meets with the lawyer and accuses him of murdering the ballet dancer, who turns out to be his ex. He kicks Holmes out, claims he has no evidence, and is hiding the diva from Holmes so he can't reveal the truth.

cbs.com

Watson returns to the house of the missing homeless man's sister with a warrant and the police, and they find three homeless veterans locked in the basement. The fake sister and another man were collecting the benefits checks sent to each of them.

Holmes has a House, M.D. moment and realized the lawyer must have a key piece of evidence to release during the trial. Gambling on that, the police search his office and find the stolen hard drive from the theater the night the murder occurred. Holmes, Gregson, and Bell arrest the lawyer in the courthouse bathroom.

Now symptahetic towards Watson's views of homeless people, Holmes suggests they hand out blankets to individuals living in the park.

Top Ten Memorable Video Gamers on Television

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Guess what? We're getting a new writer! J. Adams will be joining TheTalkingBox's staff starting tomorrow. You might remember that, a while back, we looked at a few television technologies and did some writing about not just what you watch on TV, but what you watch TV on. Well, how about other things that you DO with your TV? The list is quite impressive at this point, but our new writer will be focusing on video games, as a vast majority of those are played through consoles connected to televisions. We'll be starting with a look back on some video game history, but you can look forward to game reviews, recommendations, retrospectives, and more.

So, in celebration of this new branch to our site, today we take a look at some of the most memorable instances of video gamers on television - did you realize just how many shows depict characters playing video games at one time or another? Sometimes they're single episodes (like the Scrubs gang playing Unreal Tournament III or Kovac's impulse buy on ER), but other times they are regular activities for the characters, so let's dive right in and take a look. If we missed somebody you think should have made the cut, let us know in the comments!

10. Frasier "The Apparent Trap" (S07E09): Now, Frasier's son, Frederick, plays both console games and handheld games when visiting from Boston, but this episode sticks out in my mind because Niles repeatedly dies in the intro level. It's not rocket science, but the sitcom has built both Frasier and Niles into being so deficient in anything "normal" kids did (remember the later episode where Daphne has to teach them to ride bicycles?) that the character just dies as soon as Niles takes the controller. 

9. Friends "The One Where Joey Dates Rachel" (S08E12): Yeah, okay, the "main" story may have been about Joey and Rachel exploring their feelings for one another, but the memorable plotline is that Phoebe's wedding gift to Monica and Chandler finally arrives. She decided to present them with a retired arcade game, Ms. Pac-Man. While Phoebe and Monica are fiercely competitive initially, it's unemployed Chandler who becomes obsessed, ultimately filling the Best Scores board with dirty words. The clinching moment of the episode, however, is a tie between Chandler realizing that his hand is now cramped into a joystick position and Ross's son Ben walking in to hear Phoebe's diarrhea-of-the-mouth when she loses.

8. Seinfeld "The Frogger" (S09E18): This episode is remarkably close to the end of the iconic show, but it offers some great gaming moments. Not only is George obsessive about making sure his "top score" is preserved, but he also takes on the challenge of maneuvering the arcade game in traffic as if he were the frog in the classic game. Add in an overhead view and some cheesy sound effects and we've got ourselves an adult taking a game all too seriously. 

by pacman1990 at GIFSoup

7. How I Met Your Mother "The Third Wheel" (S03E03): Barney and Marshall are so engrossed in a game of Wii Tennis that they're actually not going to go down to MacLaren's. But wait, it gets better. As the trash talk begins to mount, Marshall removes his pants for "freedom and mobility" and Barney switches into British mode, using words like "crumpet" and "bangers and mash" to distract Marshall. Lily comes home and is there when Ted calls to announce he's got a "tricycle" building, and everyone needs to clear the apartment. While it would have been funnier if the men had refused to give up their game for the tricycle, they honor the Bro Code and hide to give Ted and the ladies the apartment.

6. Step by Step "Video-Mania" (S03E06): This is really an episode about perfectionism, which may explain why I'm particularly drawn to it. See, Mark, the brainy boy in the family, receives an "A" on an assignment. Normally, that would be great, but for children accustomed to seeing "A+" at the top of their papers, it causes some alarm. Stepfather Frank thinks that playing a video game will help Mark with his stress. Unfortunately, Mark can't enjoy the game for what it is; he makes it a constant competition with himself - to get to the next level, to have the highest score - and is soon up all night mashing the buttons. Frank and Carol wind up taking him to a support group for video game addicts, and BAM! he's cured.

5. Futurama "Anthology of Interest II" (S04E03): The Professor's "What If" Machine allows Fry to see what life would be like if it were a video game. Well, in the sub-story "Raiders of the Lost Arcade," Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Mario, and Space Invaders are all showcased in one way or another. This episode is particularly interesting because Fry must personally battle the Space Invaders as if the world depended on it - and I think that a lot of us can relate to the endscene, where Fry admits that he could never get the final one... his brother always did it for him.

photo credit: Futurama and Matt Groening

4. House: The brilliant doctor plays anything and everything - Metroid Zero Mission, Metroid Prime Hunters, MX vs. ATV, Ninja Gaidan II, racing games, and a couple of handheld consoles come to mind. Oh, and that one with the apes - it looked cool, though I think SavageScape was fictional. House plays alone, with Wilson on the weekends, and with Taub at work. Taub and Foreman also played games together when they were roommates. While there aren't specific episodes that come to mind, video games were showcased throughout several seasons of the show, and I particularly liked how they infiltrated work and home. 

3. Clarissa Explains it All: I may be wrong, but just about every episode I can remember had Clarissa DESIGNING her own video games. Yes, sometimes all she'd do is put her brother's head on something and kill it, but she was always creating thematic screens. But is was 1991-1994, and Clarissa was a girl, so Nickelodeon was really being a little edgy with writing her into being able to do such advanced stuff when she was 14 and the Super Nintendo was just coming out. Talk about girl power! 

2. South Park "Make Love, Not Warcraft" (S10E08): Yes, the kids do play video games on a multitude of platforms throughout the series. BUT, I don't know how you could argue that their most memorable gamer episode is when Kyle, Kenny, Stan, and Cartman become obsessed with World of Warcraft and killing a specific player, who has become drunk with power. The references to guys doing nothing but playing games for 21 hours a day for months on end are ridiculous - the kids are all overweight and acne-ridden, they survive off of energy drinks and hot pockets, and they use words like "pwned" in real life. In the end, they're able to defeat the "Griefer" and are happy that they can "finally play the game." Hardcore, my friends. 

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1. The Big Bang Theory: The guys are all into video gaming and even Penny plays a few times, showing some great beginner's aptitude. They're big on Halo, RockBand, and Age of Conan, though others certainly make appearances. Heck, there's a whole episode about Sheldon's World of Warcraft account getting hacked and someone stealing his ostrich, leading our favorite physicist to call the police, though it's Penny who delivers a swift kick to the thief's groin and gets back Sheldon's stuff. It's also good to note that the guys believe in owning every geeky item out there, so they don't discriminate when it comes to XBox vs. PS3 vs. PC games, allowing them to fully embrace the many gaming options available to them. And, with this series still going on, you can pretty much bet that we haven't seen the end of their gaming episodes! 

House: The End of the Doctor

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Well, it was no ER, but House sure was an interesting medical drama. I agree that it was time to wrap-up the series, but the writers could have probably used a bit more notice to get things to fall into place better. The retrospective was a very crew-oriented, making for a very different approach - I liked it. I would have liked to see some more about the patients as opposed to the character drama, but c'est la vie. The finale episode should have been two hours. While I liked the funeral only showing a bunch of one-liners, I think that everything up until the fiery beam falling on house should have been one episode, and everything after being its own episode - we could have seen more of the funeral (and found out how House was watching it), seen how House switched the dental records, and maybe a little more of what the relationship between House and Wilson will become. Still, I think the biggest mistake was putting Chase in charge of the Diagnostics Department - he had finally learned to take a step on his own, only to return two episodes later. What a shame. 

House "Swan Song": This is "a memoir by Hugh Laurie," and begins with Laurie taking Jennifer Morrison (Dr. Cameron) around the sets as they reminisce.We get some fun facts, like how just under 100 canes were lost or broken over the years. We hear about some of the original concepts behind the show - putting Dr. House in a wheelchair would have resulted in too many limitations. [could you imagine if they went with a scar? they'd need such exact makeup every time!] We're treated to plenty of clips throughout the series. [HOLY CRAP! HOW YOUNG THEY LOOK! those old-timey title cards were odd, though.] They built a lot for the show, giving thousands construction jobs. [it was cool to see parts of the hospital built in time-lapse.] All in all, House took almost 5M man-hours and 474 miles of film! [Why did they keep showing teenagers' videos? did nobody else send in one?] There's a quick thought on the parallels between House and Wilson / Holmes and Watson. Finally, Wilson and House play paintball in tuxedos hours before the sets are torn down forever.

Shots from the Wrap Party

 CR: Frank Micelotta/FOX

 CR: Frank Micelotta/FOX

House "Everybody Dies" (S08E22): House tries to get Wilson to take the fall for the vandalism... well, just enough to create reasonable doubt, anyway, but our favorite oncologist doesn't want to spend his dying days in hearings. "I don't want to lose this time with you," almost pushes Wilson into it, but he still holds fast. [good. I'd have been angry if Wilson went through with that!] A heron-addicted patient decides to take the fall, but that's not ideal, either.

House is on the ground in a room with a corpse and Kutner. The corpse is the addiction patient whom House admitted in order to try taking on several life-or-death cases, hoping to prolong his jail sentence until after Wilson's untimely demise. [not a bad plan. I totally didn't think of that. I wonder how it would work in real life?] Kutner ascertains that House is pondering suicide. Then, Kutner disappears and we see Amber, sitting with House in the burning building. House is trying to get out of the building but the floor collapses. Stacy appears, and together they imagine him with a baby, which doesn't make him any happier. He pictures himself with Dominika but then surrounded with other women, which only quashes his will to live. [odd.] Luckily, Cameron pointing out that he has suffered enough and given enough that he deserves to die pushes him to decide to live. [I might have gone with a different order of visions, but this probably worked without elongating the scenes.]

Meanwhile, as House has been missing for two nights, Foreman and Wilson decide to start looking for him. At House's apartment, they find food sitting out and learn that he stood-up a hooker. They realize that House called his psych doc, but confidentiality prevents him from being much help as Wilson and Foreman become more frantic. [I'm kinda surprised that House called him, honestly.] They decide to track down House's last patient - the heroin addict. The address he gave was fake, but when they smell smoke, they take off running toward a burning building. They arrive just in time to see a burning beam fall on House, who was nearing the doorway. [gasp! of course. television timing and all.]

In the daylight, the team is there as a body is excavated. A coroner confirms that it was House, and, at the funeral, everyone gives a one-liner, concluding with Wilson talking about House saving lives, but, in the end, he was an @$$ who mocked anyone who didn't measure up to his ideals of integrity - a bitter guy who liked making people miserable. [that is, indeed, pretty much the bottomline!] During Wilson's speech, his phone goes off... and he reads a text from House. [say whaaaa?] Wilson goes to meet the walking dead, and learns that the mastermind swapped the dental records and BOOM! he faked his own death. [didn't see that coming!] He can't go back, but is available for Wilson's final five months. As the two of them take off on motorcycles, we learn that Chase takes over the Diagnostics Department, Cameron now has a baby, and Foreman uses House's badge to prop up a wobbly office table.

Cr: Ray Mickshaw/Fox

House: Quality of Life

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

The final scene got to me. I started crying when I realized that House was going back to prison. I couldn't stop. I cried for five minutes, so sad that House will likely miss Wilson's final days. My husband suggested that, perhaps, Wilson will now go through the chemo after all, in order to prolong his friendship with House. I'm not so sure. Yes, Wilson did have the realization that he and House have survived so much in the past and that he wants to be there in the future for his buddy, but I don't know if that's what's going to happen. Drama aside, the patient wasn't all that intriguing this episode... though, I can't imagine that the writers are going to beef up the medicine just as a series like this comes to a close. Between the two-hour finale and the hour-long retrospective, I can only imagine the buckets of tears that will roll down my cheeks over a show that I was never all that in love with anyway. But, they sure know how to pull some heartstrings!

Wilson chooses to forgo chemo to maintain a higher quality of life but a shorter lifespan. The patient questions whether hearing voices in his head is a good thing or a bad thing. The decisions each make have such great impacts that it's difficult to make sense of how they reason out their priorities. But that's good television all the same.

House "Holding On" (S08E21): The patient is a 19-year-old cheerleader who, among other things, hears voices in his head. Taub and Adams go to the patient's dorm room, where they find a picture of a young boy, the patient's brother who died ten years earlier. He's also the voice. So, the team suspects viral encephalitis, but there's a blood clot in an artery behind the patient's eye, so they focus on the condition being part neurological. Also, because the patient is an athlete, Adams suspects an injury that the patient kept quiet. [that's a good point.] When the patient's mother arrives, we realize just how much grief he has been repressing. [sad. :(] House sticks a syringe into the patient's ear and removes blood, which diagnoses a problem that will require surgery to fix - though it will likely stop the patient from hearing his brother's voice. House goes to choke the patient, only stopping when Park whacks him with his cane. [very odd scene, see the image below if you don't believe me!] The patient desperately wants to see pictures and hear stories of his brother, and his mother eventually comes around to sharing these details.

Cr: Adam Taylor/FOX

Wilson has decided to stop chemo, knowing he'll be dead in five months. Foreman buys season tickets to give House something to do after Wilson dies. [I don't think that Foreman would ever do that, do you?] House wants to convince Wilson that death is worse than suffering, so he fills the hospital cafeteria with actors who talk about the differences he made in their lives because of the cancer treatments he recommended. [except that, from the moment they sat down, I didn't believe that this could be a true thing. House JUST hired a kid to play Wilson's son, why not hire one to be an old patient?] Wilson meets with Thirteen to ask her about knowing you're terminal, and she tells him it's surreal for a long time. [one can only imagine!] Meanwhile, House has been calling Wilson's mom repeatedly (not reaching her), hoping for some help in convincing Wilson not to "choose death."

After talking to Thirteen, House surrenders to Wilson, saying that he should listen to what he wanted. They go to a nice dinner and have Oreos for dessert, recanting about a camping trip they took years ago. [what? they used to do "normal" things? I never would have guessed!] After a while, Wilson takes House's actions to really be about him instead, and he breaks down over the fact that he has to go through it alone. [sucks.] House is trashing the hospital one toilet at a time and then announces that he's done with Wilson. Foreman steps in and tells Wilson that, for twenty years, he's had three wives, hundreds of colleagues, and thousands of patients, but one best friend. [too cutesy for Foreman, I say.] Foreman tells him that enduring pain for someone you care about is life. [yeah, but you stay alive for a life partner, not for a friend... though if you don't have one, I guess things are different.] Wilson goes to tell House that he'll start chemo because House needs him, and that's not a bad thing, but House tells him that he needs to accept Wilson's decision. The next day, they talk about going hiking when the hospital lawyer comes in - House was caught in his pranks, which have done some severe damage. He will be charged with felony vandalism, despite Foreman's attempt to keep things internal. He has to report to Mercer County jail on Monday to serve out the rest of his sentence - six months. [cue the waterworks!]

News Roundup: Half of May is Over!

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

If you're looking to find out which broadcast network shows were renewed or cancelled, try here instead. A few new additions include CBS renewing Two and a Half Men and canceling Unforgettable, Rob, and NYC 22 and FOX canceling Napoleon Dynamite and renewing Bob's Burgers.

We'll also be doing a post or two about the new pick-ups later in the week, so be on the lookout for that. The below will focus on cable shows with renewals/cancellations and leave off some "shows in development," but will otherwise give you a nice round-up of what's been announced recently. 

Renewals, Cancellations, & Scheduling:
HBO has renewed Real Time with Bill Maher for two more seasons.

ABCFamily has renewed The Lying Game for a second season. The network has canceled Make It or Break It, with the series finale airing tonight, May 14th. 

The NBC Sports Network has renewed NFL Turning Point for the 2012, 1013, and 2014 seasons.

E! has renewed Keeping Up with the Kardashians for three more seasons, with the seventh beginning May 20th.

True Justice, REELZ's Steven Seagal show, has been renewed for a second season of thirteen episodes.

HBO has renewed Girls and Veep.

TLC has renewed Long Island Medium for a THIRD season!

Showtime has renewed The Borgias for three seasons.

Southland has been renewed for a fifth season on TNT. Maybe NBC should have kept it after all, huh?

WEtv has renewed Mary Mary for a second season.

Mob Wives has been renewed for a third season on VH1.

AMC has renewed Comic Book Men and Talking Dead.

Flashpoint will end after this season, its fifth on ION.

Lifetime's The Client List has been renewed for a second season of 15 episodes.

ABC has renewed Shark Tank, Dancing with the Stars, and The Bachelor. Plus, America's Funniest Home Videos and Wife Swap.

NBC has canceled Fear Factor, Minute to Win It, Who Do You Think You Are?, The Marriage Ref, and The Sing Off. Their renewal of 30 Rock will be its final season.

History has renewed Top Gear for a third season.

Bravo's Pregnant in Heels is back tomorrow, Tuesday, May 15th at 10pm ET/PT.

TLC has two specials premiering on Thursday, May 17th. At 9pm ET/PT we have Obese & Expecting, and at 10pm ET/PT we have Birth Moms.

Current's The Gavin Newsom Show debuts Friday, May 18th at 10pm ET.

TLC's long-awaited On The Fly begins Thursday, May 24th at 9pm.

Remember How to Be a Gentleman? CBS pulled it back in October, but they're going to burn off the episodes this summer, beginning at 8pm on Saturday, May 26th.

A&E's Gene Simmons Family Jewels will be back on Monday, May 29th at 9pm ET/PT.

Comedy Central's Workaholics is back Tuesday, May 29th at 10:30pm.

Dogs in the City will premiere on CBS on Wednesday, May 30th at 8pm ET/PT.

Mountain Men on History begins Thursday, May 31st at 10pm.

Drop Dead Diva's fourth season will begin on Sunday, June 3rd at 9pm.

Also on Sunday, June 3rd, you can catch Head Games on the Discovery Channel at 10pm ET/PT. It's an interactive series where "both viewers and on-screen subjects are challenged with brain games, mind puzzles and social experiments." It's a three-part series.

FOX's Hell's Kitchen will begin the summer at 9pm ET/PT on Monday, June 4th, followed immediately by Masterchef at 10pm ET/PT.

Storage Wars is back June 5th at 10pm ET/PT.

SyFy's Haunted Collector begins its second season on Wednesday, June 6th, at 9pm.

The Choice premieres 9pm ET/PT Thursday, June 7th on FOX. 

A&E's Barter Kings will premiere Tuesday, June 12th at 9pm ET/PT.

Ready for another competition series? ABC has The Glass House beginning Monday, June 18th at 10pm ET/PT, where 14 contestants will live together, trying to win $250,000. It's going to be really interactive, using social networking to decide what players wear or where they sleep, for starters.

Monday, June 18th will also be the premiere of Bravo's Miss Advised, a docuseries about three single relationship experts.

Spike's new Diamond Divers, an unscripted series, will begin on Wednesday, June 20th at 10pm ET/PT.

Comedy Central's Futurama will return on Wednesday, June 20th at 10pm ET/PT.

Bad Girls Club: Mexico premiered Monday, July 9th at 10pm on Oxygen.

Travel Channel will premiere season six of Bizarre Foods America on Monday, July 9th at 8pm ET/PT.

ABCFamily's Beverly Hills Nannies will begin Wednesday, July 11th at 8pm ET/PT.

Big Brother will be back on Thursday, July 12th at 9pm ET/PT.

3, CBS' new dating series, will begin Sunday, July 22nd at 9pm ET/PT.

Cast & Plot Updates:
Jennifer Morrison's Dr. Cameron will be appearing on House's series finale.

Betty White will appear in June 10th's season finale of The Client List, playing a character who gives marriage advice.

Not only will Ryan Seacrest be coming back for American Idol, but he's also joining Today as a special correspondent for two years.

Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans is trying to sell photos of her new 34C chest.

Teen Mom's Amber Portwood is back in jail, having been caught lying to get out of her drug test and court date.

Pregnant in Heels' Rosie Pope live-tweeted her labor yesterday.

Mitchell Guist of History's Swamp People died after a seizure today.

Shows in Development & Other Fun Stuff:
While not everyone would consider it a "fun fact," the CW's debut of LA Complex managed to get the very lowest broadcast drama premiere EVER, at just 646,000 viewers.

ABC's got Tony Danza and Vince Vaughn working on a multi-camera comedy about "three old friends whose lives have taken them down very different roads."

SyFy will be making Stephen King's Eyes of the Dragon into a movie or miniseries.

Axe Cop will be joining FOX's late-night cartoon block that launches in 2013. Five episodes aired in January 2010, but another six 15-minute episodes have been ordered now.

Oxygen will be adding My Shopping Addiction (folks obsessed with shopping), I'm Having Their Baby (women deciding if they'll place their babies up for adoption), All the Right Moves (following So You Think You Can Dance's Travis Wall and friends), and NYC and LA editions of Girlfriend Confidential to the fall slate.

E! has some new one-hour series in development, including Amy Devlin Mysteries (a procedural about a twentysomething detective), Anne of Hollywood (the story of Anne Boleyn), Dorothy (a modern Wizard of Oz), Fascination Street (two brothers in a band), The 400 (following the Vanderbilt dynasty), Juror #9 (a twisted trial show), King David (a billionaire playboy in Washington, DC), Upstarts (three guys trying to gain power and money during the dot-com boom), and the Untitled Assistant Project (some office assistants want more power).

truTV has some new series in the works as well. Killer Karaoke is singing with physical challenges. Guinness World Records Gone Wild has folks setting out to break dangerous records. Container Wars is like Storage Wars but with shipping containers. Hardcore Pawn: Fort Bragg is another pawn shop show. There's also a possible Shaquille O'Neal show, a weight loss show with a comedy duo, and a game show where contestants fly around the country.

There's a possibility that Murphy Brown will be back on the air in a series of specials full of political commentary.

Netflix is interested in reviving Jericho, which CBS canceled in 2008.

Amazon is jumping into the television business, inviting original ideas for primetime comedy and children's series!

Starz is getting Michael Bay to develop Black Sails, an eight-episode season show about Captain Flint and his pirate adventures.

CMT is working with Stone Cold Steve Austin for a ten-episode series called Redneck Island, which will have 12 Southerners competing for $100,000.

TNT's new medical show, originally known as Chelsea General, will now be known as Monday Mornings, and the 10-episode first season will debut in summer 2013.

A fan of Burn Notice? You can vote on the new main title sequence! Head to the official website or the facebook page.

TLC has two more specials of Virgin Diaries to air later this summer.

A&E is working on Southie Rules, about the iconic working class of South Boston.

DirecTV's first original series will be ten episodes of the drama Rogue, which will focus on a cop who lost her son.

Was it Canceled?

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

When I was a kid, I didn't understand much of why a show was canceled or renewed. I generally thought that the writers had no more stories for a specific set of characters, and that's why so many series finales were big, all-out episodes. The randomness of Michelle's amnesia on Full House comes to mind. Later, I thought that they ended shows when the characters got past the age that the show was designed to portray - like when the Saved by the Bell gang graduated from high school. That made perfect sense to me, especially because Saved by the Bell: The College Years was a completely separate show, as was Good Morning, Miss Bliss, when Zack, Screech, and Lisa were in middle school. When I got to high school, however, I started to learn (the hard way, of course), that it wasn't so much to do with the writers or the characters - it was the ratings. Somewhere around 1998 I began to "try out" new shows, as opposed to catching ones that were already established and joining the crowd. I loved a show I've written about before, which was so forgettable that nobody has ever been able to tell me what it was called... I suspect it lasted about five episodes, and was about teenagers going to high school while pursuing Olympic dreams. In 1999 I thought that Get Real was an awesome show, and I became a fan of Anne Hathaway even before The Princess Diaries. It lasted a single season. Just like last year's Better with You. A lot of shows don't last that long, though... 10-13 episodes are all they get, like Miami Medical, Sons of Tucson, and The Goode Family.

But, the time has come and the hammer is down... the majority of the 2011-2012 shows on the broadcast networks have now been renewed. We knew that the time was coming, what with the network up-fronts this coming week, but the vast majority of renewals and cancellations have already been announced, so here ya go. Hope you're not too upset! After the announcements I'll post a few thoughts.

First, the cancellations. Because, otherwise, you'll just scroll down to read those first anyway. I know you. :)

NBC really has the boatload of cancellations. Chuck is the only show that "just ended" while they have also pulled The Playboy Club, Free Agents, Awake, Bent, Best Friends Forever, The Firm, Harry's Law, Prime Suspect, and Are You There, Chelsea?. If you haven't heard of some of them, you're not alone. Many are blaming poor marketing and bad timeslot placement for several of these shows failing, particularly Bent.

From ABC, many of these were already known, but they've canceled Charlie's Angels, Man Up, Pan Am, Work It, Missing, GCB, and The River. Desperate Housewives has ended as well.

FOX has canceled Allen Gregory, Terra Nova, Breaking In, Alcatraz, I Hate My Teenage Daughter, and The Finder. They've also pulled the plug on House. They have not yet announced the futures for Napoleon Dynamite or Bob's Burgers.

CBS is holding onto the announcements for seven of their shows (including both CSI spin-offs and Two and a Half Men), so stay tuned for more on those, but they've actually canceled A Gifted Man and How to be a Gentleman.

If you care about the CW, they've canceled The Secret Circle and Ringer, and One Tree Hill is also finally ending. An announcement is pending for The LA Complex.


Now, onto the renewals!
On NBC, you'll see more of 30 Rock, Whitney, Up All Night, Smash, The Office, Grimm, Community, Parenthood, Parks & Recreation, and Law and Order: SVU.

ABC will bring you more Modern Family, The Middle, Suburgatory, Once Upon a Time, Last Man Standing, Grey's Anatomy, Castle, Body of Proof, Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23, Happy Endings, Private Practice, Revenge, and Scandal. Cougar Town has not been canceled, but you'll have to have TBS to watch new episodes next season.

FOX has decided to renew Bones, Glee, Fringe, New Girl, Raising Hope, Touch, American Dad, The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, and The Simpsons.

Over on CBS, look forward to more NCIS, NCIS: LA, CSI, How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls, Mike & Molly, The Big Bang Theory, Criminal Minds, Person of Interest, Hawaii Five-0, Blue Bloods, The Good Wife, and The Mentalist.

And, if you're a CW person, have fun with additonal 90210, Gossip Girl, Hart of Dixie, Nikita, Supernatural, and The Vampire Diaries.


Now, some thoughts...
None of the announced cancellations truly upset me this year. Perhaps if ABC would have officially canceled Pan Am a few months ago I would have cared more, but I've made my peace with it by this point. I'm a tad bummed that Terra Nova won't see the light of day again, but I didn't think it would get renewed so I wasn't crossing my fingers there. Alcatraz's cancellation does bum me out a bit, and I was hoping for an eleventh-hour renewal, but I can handle it going away, too. I'm downright thrilled that GCB is off the air and I'll wave goodbye as House finishes up in a few weeks. I do think that Bent deserved more of a chance, but it's too late now, anyway. I hope you're able to make your peace with the future of your favorite show (and hang in there, folks banking on one of the remaining few to be saved!), but we're going to have a lot to look forward to with the rest of the new pick-ups coming this week!

House: That's It for Chase!

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Let's start with the fact that Wilson not being able to drive a stick was ridiculous.And, that crashing the car into a fence and taking off on foot to complete the journey was absurd. While any dying man wants to knock off a few things from his bucket list while he still can, I don't think that Wilson went overboard... I think they just threw in a couple of quirks that didn't fit as well as the others. On the bright side, I completely believed that he had shaved his head at first - that bald cap wasn't noticeable to me until much later. The team trying to get along with House wasn't as novel, as they JUST DID THAT. Chase deciding that it's time to pull the plug on his dead-end job and start something fresh was nice, even if they had to show the big push he was given by someone who wanted that fellowship nine years earlier. This more-or-less ends the possibility of him getting together with Park, and with just a couple of episodes to go, you have to wonder what the writers will do with the rest of the doctors... I can't imagine a large change for Foreman, but it's not too late for Adams to make a big change or for Park to make a life-altering decision... at least, I think so.

And, for those of you who like polls, we have one going on our facebook page regarding whether you think Wilson will live or die. Go vote!

House "Post Mortem" (S08E20): After a medical examiner performs an autopsy, he takes a scalpel to his own hairline. House thinks the guy thought he was a corpse - a mental issue. Taub and Park find a bunch of empty energy drink cans when they search the patient's lab. The patient, by the way, only wants to be cared for by House, so when the doctor is unavailable, Chase just lies to him. [he definitely learned one thing from House, that's for sure!] The patient requests Chase as his surgeon and shares that he's bitter that Chase's father made a call and got him the diagnostics fellowship way back when - he had relocated and worked very hard to get that spot and failed. He proceeds to make Chase feel guilty for not going on to better things after such a coveted fellowship. [I guess that's a good point? I never really got that from the show before, though.] After twenty-four hours, Adams doesn't think that they should keep lying to the patient about House being in charge of his care, but Chase keeps going until a misdiagnosis causes more health problems. That's when Foreman has to take over, giving Chase the task of finding the brain of the patient's last body to biopsy. [a brain closet. holy jeez. I had to pause and take a break.] Foreman is worried about Chase, who has a breakthrough while washing his hands. Foreman even offers Chase his own team, but Chase says it's time for him to step out of the shadow. [awww. sad.]

Why was House unavailable after a while, you ask? Well, Wilson pretty much demands he accompany him on a roadtrip in his new Corvette. [parking in a handicapped space? Wilson!] While away, Wilson orders an 80-ounce steak and eats it in an hour. He begins going by "Kyle" because that's a name that has a fun lifestyle. Wilson wants a threesome, so House has him put on a bald cap to pull the cancer card. [niiiice.] However, one of the women steals Wilson's wallet, so they don't have enough money to get home. [I loved the twist that House couldn't use his credit card out-of-state because of his parole!] They continue on, however, as Wilson wants to go see Julie, his high school crush. A funeral procession pauses their trip, but Wilson decides to cut it off, driving on the left side of the road, and they wind up out of control and crash into a fence. From there, they head out on foot. [Wilson is going to make House hike that far with his bum leg??] They're in Ohio and wait at a bus stop (seriously. check the pic.) for half an hour before House hails a cab, but Wilson won't leave a woman with Alzheimer's at the bus stop. [they're going to a clinic, leave her there! seriously though... why give up now??] They take a bus (thanks to selling Wilson's watch) back home, and Wilson says that he was in love with Melanie, not Julie. A guy named Kyle, with a car, took Melanie to the prom, and Wilson just let her go. [that sucks. but we could have seen that coming - Wilson just plays the nice guy too well.] 

Cr: Adam Taylor/FOX

House: It's a Tumor

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Should we take bets on whether Wilson will live or die? Are we really supposed to believe that Wilson wouldn't have called Cuddy in a time of need like this? You know, for a seventh opinion, if nothing else? It was interesting to watch the team solve a case completely independently of House, though I was wondering why Foreman didn't help more - he did do diagnostics in the past, and I don't know a lot about AT, but it IS degenerative, so it is probably neurological to some degree. I did think that they were going to wind up needing House's help, and figured that he'd answer eventually. Guess he was too busy being both himself and a caring, thoughtful guy for once. House giving Wilson the last of his Vicodin was a sweet, tender moment, especially when House was in pain and still helping Wilson down the hall. But, at the same time, House still managed to have a good time with passed-out Wilson, dressing him up and having bikini-clad women hang around him, etc. Not a superb episode, but you can't ask for too much as they're winding down an eight-year drama.

House "The C-Word" (S08E19): A father is with his six-year-old daughter at the park, and she wants to ride the merry-go-round alone. He reluctantly allows her to, but she gets a nosebleed during the ride and passes out. [there's no way they would keep that ride running after the father leaps onto it and starts looking for his child.] Her mother happens to be a doctor who is an expert in the rare genetic condition that gives Emily a lifespan of about twenty years. [and, I guess Foreman is familiar with this woman from Johns Hopkins?] During an MRI, the patient's fingers turn blue from loss of circulation, and the mother decides to go check the father's apartment, suspecting heavy metal poisoning. [I got tired of the woman flip-flopping her roles as mother and doctor.] Meanwhile, Chase searches her place, finding a laboratory in the basement, where the mother tests drugs on herself and Emily. Renal failure is the likely cause, as it's been linked with that medication. But, during the kidney ultrasound, Emily begins having chest pains and coughing up blood, so now if could be a blood clot. Her lungs are clear but her liver is failing, so the team thinks that Lyme disease could be the culprit, as the father took Emily into the woods once. The girl has a stroke just before they do a lumbar puncture, and they figure out that it's a tumor in the heart. [nice graphics.] 

House is unavailable as he's taking time off for "spring break." [battleship on the back of pizza boxes = win.] Really, he needs to cope with Wilson's illness, going with him to consultations and whatnot. The general plan should be daily radiation for three weeks to shrink the tumor, then remove it. But, Wilson is worried that it won't work if he doesn't have chemo and radiation simultaneously, instead hoping for a very concentrated dose of chemo, that has a 1 in 3 chance of killing him. [that seems a bit extreme for Wilson's character, even after he explains his reasoning.] Wilson has been stockpiling equipment at his place, and House points out that the odds of dying from the treatment and the thymoma tumor itself are the same. But, Wilson just doesn't want to die in the hospital, so House offers up his place to do the treatment. [if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!] House plays old-timey music and they have martinis while House lists the predicted side effects. Wilson thanks House

Cr: Jordin Althaus/FOX

for helping him, and soon hallucinates a child who died from thyroid cancer. When they run out of morphine, House gives Wilson his own personal painkillers, not mentioning that he doesn't have very many. Wilson's white blood cell count keeps dropping, and House wants to take him to the hospital, but Wilson makes him promise that he won't. Wilson also gets very mouthy at times, saying things like House deserves cancer more than he does because he's a bad person. He makes it through the night, and when he returns to work, there's a video of girls in bikinis all over a passed-out Wilson on his computer.

House: The Wrap-Up Begins...

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Rushing to the finish line? Wilson announcing that he has cancer, Dominika leaving House's life, and Chase and Park are thinking of getting it on... what else is there to wrap up? Get Foreman a wife or fire him, mention Cuddy in passing, and do something with Taub's "two babies from two mothers two weeks apart" shenanigan? With the finale being called "Everybody Dies," you have to wonder what's in store for the rest of the cast. Then again, the preview for next week featuring Wilson wanting to do an experimental treatment and House saying, "let's do it at my place," already has me looking for the end of this show. Yeah, I think that House jumped the shark after last season, but I think we could be in a better place right now if the writers had made different choices. Four episodes to go, and they're pulling out all of the stops... levitation? Exorcism? PARK AND CHASE?? We're slipping into ridiculous, one moment at a time... 

House "Body & Soul" (S08E18): The patient is a young boy who has a bad dream and struggles to breathe when he awakens. Taub and Park go to the home and find a decapitated pig in the kid's bedroom - apparently, the grandfather thinks that the kid has been possessed for weeks. [well, now I know that, if I smell wet dog, it could be a dead pig...] The team thinks that there's a mental problem, but the grandfather talks of how his son also suffered from bad dreams. When the kid starts speaking Hmong, a language he doesn't know, and envisioning his grandfather choking him, both ideas begin to fit. [I believe this is the first time I've ever heard the word "hmong," I've only ever read it... and pronounced the "h" in my head, haha!] The patient levitates, but only Adams and Taub witness is, and the other doctors don't believe it happened. The grandfather wants to perform an exorcism, and Foreman says that it's fine, as long as nothing is ingested or put on the skin without being verified as harmless. [kinda odd, but okay.] The mother now believes that her husband must have been possessed, too. The kid crashes during the ritual, but Adams gives ibuprofen as a last-ditch effort - the family believes the exorcism cured the boy, the doctors believe it was the ibuprofen. [finally! someone calls it! "you're wrong again?" I've often wondered why none of the patients' families ever ask that!] 

Wilson knows that House has been keeping Dominika's green card paperwork from her, but he doesn't really fight it. House and Dominika are beginning a real relationship - being intimate, eating together, and even going shooting. [her accent is a little heavier than normal...] He tells her that it may be another few weeks or a month until they hear a status update, which is upsetting to her, as her aunt is in a nursing home in Poland. When US Citizenship calls and says that they've sent several notices about picking up her naturalization certificate, House is caught. ["good news so we can get back to sex" was AWKWARD!] He apologizes, but she packs her things and hugs him goodbye. [why does it look smoky in his place?] House is surprisingly depressed when he tells Wilson about the situation. 

Cr: Adam Taylor/FOX

Park had a sex dream about Chase and asks him if he's had a similar one about her. He is quick to dismiss the idea, leading her to believe that he finds the idea "abhorrent." [now, there's a word you don't hear everyday!] Park makes up a dream about Taub just to see his reaction - happiness. Later, Chase does have a sex dream about Park, and she asks him about it, gives possible explanations, and then farts in the elevator to "test her theory." [out of character! Park is too shy to do that!] The episode ends with House learning that Wilson has stage 2 thymoma cancer.

House: Follow the Directions

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I caught the phrase, "we need the eggs" during the episode but don't really understand why that's the title of the installment. Anyone want to explain it for me? Not that it would really improve things... this was one of the stranger episodes in a while. The medical mystery was downright wonky - did we ever figure out WHY the patient was crying blood?? I didn't really care about the life-size doll and what the patient did with her, but I'm sure that some people found it amusing. Park and Adams having boyfriends is really just filler at this point... the show is going to end before either actually becomes part of a committed relationship. I did think that Taub was a bit hilarious, but I don't see where lying about it being the same baby was going to help things. Besides, we know that he sometimes has both children at the same time, so doesn't he have two of anything in his apartment? Wouldn't that be a big tip-off? And, lastly, House deciding that Dominika is good for him was a cop-out. If the show ends with him believing things will be "happily ever after," I will NOT be pleased.

House "We Need the Eggs" (S08E17): A guy wins his neighbor a teddy bear at a fair. [who puts a stuffed animal down on the ground at the fair?] He soon cries blood and is brought to the hospital. Adams thinks he inhales glue, but when she and Chase search the patient's home, the only unusual thing they find is a life-size doll. They bring it in and the patient admits to having sex with the $7,000 item. While

Cr: Ray Mickshaw/FOX

he knows that "Amy" isn't real, she fulfills him in a way that other women don't. House has the team swab out the doll but all they find is a mass in the doll's abdomen. Adams gets the patient's consent to operate on the doll, then they stitch up and bandage it as the patient nearly passes out (he's in liver failure now). Soon, the patient imagines the doll to be real, talk, stand, strip... and then he imagines her oozing blood from her incision. Taub realizes that the doll was only $5,000, so they deduce that he had it customized to look like a girl he used to know. The patient experiences light sensitivity, neck stiffness, and vomiting - Adams suggests meningitis. Turns out that he simply used tap water instead of distilled water in his neti pot. [this is why you follow the directions.] The whole experience did give him some confidence, though, as he manages to ask out Adams. She turns him down and suggests he date his neighbor. 

House's favorite "escort" is leaving the business to get married, so he tries to find a replacement, mainly based on her non-sexual skills. After all, "57 minutes out of the hour" is her doing other things he wants. [I liked Fawn's (the second candidate, who got the movie question "wrong") jacket.] House tries upping his prostitute's workload so she'll keep him as a client, because "you're the only hooker I know who can tune a piano." [why did they meet in the hospital cafeteria? I liked her nails.] House asks Wilson for advice on breaking up his hooker's potential marriage, then decided to get Dominika to seduce the guy and ruin the relationship. Except, the guy turns out to be the hooker's brother. It seems that House's favorite playmate just finds him rude for sleeping with her while his "wife" is in the next room. House opens Dominika's mail and finds out that she's been approved for citizenship, but throws out the letter. [again, follow the directions and give it to the rightful owner.] 

[and, the remaining drama:] A guy asks Park to jam, and she says she will. But, she chickens out and makes up excuses about her family instead. ["break your face" ??] After Taub insists, however, she decides to tell her mom she's working late and play "I Got You Babe" on the guitar with the guy. Taub picks up a woman at the grocery store, though he lies and says that Sophie's mother died in childbirth. On the second date, Taub comes clean about Sophie's mom.... but she realizes that it's a different baby, which Taub lies about anyway. [dumb move, buddy.] Adams asks Chase for a drink, but he thinks it's a bad idea.

House: Bum Hockey Player & A Fake Kid

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I know that we're trying to wrap-up this drama in the next 1/3 of a season, but do we have to avoid all multiple-episode storylines at this point? Did Duncan have to have all of his appearances here only? Did Park need to fight with her mother, be reluctant to live with a male, move in with Chase, and move back home in the time it takes the team to diagnose and treat a single patient? Are we not going to bother examining Adams' character at all anymore? Did Foreman suddenly receive approval from everyone? Because it had been clear that he was close to getting canned... I guess we'll deal with that later? And where is Dominika? Okay, I'll stop complaining and give you the scoop...

House "Gut Check" (S08E16): Two hockey players get into a fight and one begins coughing up blood. The next symptom is swollen breast tissue, so Taub suspects steroids.[always a safe guess with professional athletes.] After searching the locker room with Chase, Park suspects mono. Neither of these are the culprit, and once Taub finds the patient crying, he wonders if it's depression. [House in the MRI machine to mess with Taub was funny!] We learn that the hockey "player" was a great child athlete, but his skills never caught up to his size, so he basically just acts as "an enforcer" now, meaning he's had lots of concussions, among other ailments. The patient suffers paralysis, begins to get better, then has worse paralysis. A positive test for botulism throws things off more, but it ends up being two conditions - one was mono, tho! [so the mono test was wrong earlier? or they didn't do one?]  

Wilson has been kept up at night by a neighbor's baby so he is sleeping in his office. He realizes that he probably won't get to experience fatherhood at the rate he's going, so house decides to have a little fun with him. House tells Wilson that, eleven years ago, one of his girlfriends called and told House that Wilson was the father of her baby. House chose not to pass on the news directly, but brings it up now. [at first I couldn't figure out why Wilson wasn't more angry with house for keeping such a big thing from him for so long!] Wilson calls Beth, and it seems that his son wants to meet him, so they have lunch at a diner. [a neutral location is great and all, but what eleven-year-old in Princeton is going to diners alone??] Duncan takes a liking to Wilson and asks to hang out that evening, so Wilson changes his plans to have dinner with his son. ["I'll text you." so much has changed since I was eleven!] The two make personal pizzas for dinner, but Wilson is afraid that the kid would rather have peanut butter. Turns out, he shares Wilson's love for prosciutto and goat cheese! [and this is where I decide that House must have set this up.] The kid is excited about the prospect of having grandparents in his life, now, and even hugs Wilson and says "I love you" when leaving the car. [all Wilson has done is bought the kid dinner, made some pizza, and got him a handheld video game system that he already had... nothing special... how does that earn love?] The next appearance of Duncan has the kid claiming that his other is ready to move to Costa Rica to open a bird sanctuary, so, of course, Duncan asks Wilson if he could stay with him instead. Wilson agrees, as long as it's okay with Beth. [Wilson. we know that you're a softy, but don't you think you're taking on a little much?] Wilson tells House that he doesn't know what he's doing, and House brings in Wendel, a professional child actor with a recurring spot on a soap, who has been acting as Duncan. [how horrific! poor Wilson! (even though I saw it coming...) the Australian accent thing was funny! can you imagine Chase's reactions?]

Cr: Jordin Althaus/FOX

Park has been in a fight with her mother so she sleeps in her car. [are we reiterating that Park has no friends?] Chase has a spare bedroom and offers it to her, but she finds opposite-sex housemates to be an odd idea. [maybe not ideal, but certainly not odd. It's still 2012 American, Park!] She does go with it, though her grandmother is soon visiting regularly to play cribbage with Chase. Park tells House that she moved in with Chase. [hilarious thought process on not knowing the future so maybe Chase and Park will hook up.] Well, Park isn't thrilled that she didn't actually get away from her family, so she moves back home anyway. [booooooring!]

House: The Doctor as a Patient?

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

"One of the problems with working for House - you start seeing zebras everywhere." I love that quote about a circus being in town and hearing hoofbeats that turn out to be zebras instead of horses. You see one thing so often that you don't think of it meaning something different. And that was exactly the case today - House fooled the other doctors into thinking he had a failing liver by taking a well-known supplement. I actually preferred this medical mystery to the main one, but perhaps that's because I guessed the ailment fairly early on for once. It also wasn't the greatest episode for clinic cases, though both were amusing. Wilson sees a compulsive nose-picker who has developed an infection because of a cut, and House sees a kid with an intolerance for green food coloring, brought on by chugging week-old green beer. Neither were memorable, but both were a bit funny (and disturbing!).

House "Blowing the Whistle" (S08E15): A military man, Brant, returns from Iraq in handcuffs, being charged with treason (he downloaded a secure file and uploaded it to a non-secure site). At the airport, he suffers a seizure and is brought to the hospital, though Park thinks he's just faking to avoid prison. [possibly.] They suspect blood clots at first, but soon the patient experiences stomach pain and urinary bleeding, and has an enlarged spleen, so they rush him to surgery. But, the patient won't allow any more medication until he's given a live television interview, as he wants to get out "the truth." [oh boy...] After some negotiation, he agrees to take medication if he gets two pages of information about his father, also a military man. [who apparently instilled way too much importance on "honor" into his son.] Soon, his foot hurts, plus, House learns that Brant's hair suddenly went grey recently. [I never knew that going grey could happen in a matter of days!] The patient runs a fever of 104, but the papers haven't arrived yet so he continues refusing medication. Brant's brother decides to be the conservator, and it's soon revealed that the brother covered up what happened to their father, because he didn't want Brant knowing that their father was a drunk driver. [apparently this is the "only time" the brother "broke the rules."] The disease appears to be malaria for a while, but then House realizes it's typhus, which would also allow Brant to plead "not guilty." [funny, when they discounted typhus in the beginning, I turned to my husband and said "bet he used to have hair and it's typhus anyway" ... I'm never right about these things!]

Adams is concerned that House isn't being as observant as usual, but Chase shoots her theory down, as House controls what they see of him. Adams gets a new signature from House and compares it to one six months ago - they're different enough that she takes them to Wilson, who thinks that House should have an exam. [drugging a patient with sleeping pills so he could take a nap? classic House.] When

Cr: Adam Taylor/FOX

Taub beats House in a video game (playing while doing diagnostics, of course), Adams is ready to go directly to Foreman, though the others are still hesitant. [I found it funny that the "last straw" was House having a bad round in a game, LoL.] Taub secretly takes a stool sample from House, and, after examining it, the team confronts their boss, who believes the test but not the diagnosis. [to me, this signals that he's messing with them, but apparently that wasn't triggered in everyone.] House steals candy bars by putting them in a soda cup, but the team witnesses him steal one less in order to close the cup, then just use a bigger cup later on. This change in behavior alerts Chase to the fact that House is faking the problem, and House later realizes it was Chase who alerted Foreman. [I watched the scene where Chase "figures it out" twice and still don't really know if that was enough for him to go on...] As punishment, House planted baby rats under the floorboards at Chase's apartment. [talk about one of House's rougher plans!]

News Roundup: 5 Renewals, 2 Cancellations, & a Whole Lot More

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Renewals, Cancellations, & Scheduling:
MTV has renewed Jersey Shore for a sixth season.

Starz has gone ahead and renewed Magic City (the show that follows a hotel in Miami) for a second season before it even premieres. You may recall that they did this with Boss last fall.

IFC has renewed Portlandia for a third season and Whisker Wars for a second season. They also have a new premiere date: Comedy Bang Bang and game show Bunk on Friday, June 8th.

NBC has renewed Smash for a second season.

The upcoming fourth season of Teen Mom will be the end of the show.

IFC has cancelled Onion News Network after two seasons.

SeaWorld is behind the new ABC show Sea Rescue, which will debut on April 7th. The half-hour show will "give viewers a first-hand look at how SeaWorld works to rehabilitate wounded animals and return them to the wild."

With the upfronts coming fast now, ABCFamily has a bunch of premiere dates. Bunheads, the Vegas showgirl-turned-dance-teacher drama will premiere Monday, June 11th at 9pm ET/PT. Baby Daddy, a comedy about a teen father, begins Wednesday, June 20th at 8:30pm ET/PT. Beverly Hills Nannies, an hour-long docuseries, begins Wednesday, July 11th at 9pm ET/PT.

FOX has announced many of its season finale dates, including Glee on Tuesday, May 22nd, House on Monday, May 21st (preceded by a one-hour retrospective), Raising Hope on Tuesday, April 17th, New Girl on Tuesday, May 8th, Fringe on Friday, May 11th, Bones on Monday, May 14th, and The Simpsons on Sunday, May 20th.

CBS has also announced some season finale dates, such as The Good Wife on Sunday, April 29th, The Amazing Race on Sunday, May 6th, 2 Broke Girls on Monday, May 7th, CSI on Wednesday, May 9th, CSI: NY on Friday, May 11th, The Big Bang Theory on Thursday, May 10th, Undercover Boss on Friday, May 11th, Survivor on Sunday, May 13th, How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men on Monday, May 14th, NCIS and NCIS: LA on Tuesday, May 15th, and Rules of Engagement on Thursday, May 17th.

TBS' Men at Work will launch on Thursday, May 24th. The network's Sullivan & Son will begin Thursday, July 19th.

NBC's Best Friends Forever begins Wednesday, April 4th at 8:30pm ET/PT. This six-episode comedy showcases the friendship of two girls after one faces a sudden divorce.

If you're a WrestleMania fan, you're in luck. Before the April 1st event, a one-hour documentary, Once in a Lifetime: Rock vs. Cena, will air plenty of times. First on USA on Monday, March 26th at 8pm ET/PT, it'll also be seen on SyFy, Bravo, E!, Oxygen, G4, Style, NBC Sports, Cloo, mun2, and Universal HD before the match.

The Ricky Gervais Show returns to HBO on Friday, April 20th.


Cast & Plot Updates:
Jason O'Mara (most recently seen playing a cop father on Terra Nova) will co-star in CBS' "untitled period drama pilot based on the life of rodeo cowboy-turned-Vegas sheriff Ralph Lamb."

When Alan suffers from a cardiac event on Two and a Half Men, Charlie ghost appears... and will be played by Kathy Bates.

Although Cuddy won't be back for the series finale of House, Thirteen will be! Olivia Wilde has been confirmed to do one final episode.

Eddie Izzard will play Grandpa Munster on the new CBS comedy, Mockingbird Lane. 

Teen Mom 2 subject Jenelle Evans has had a few of the charges against her dropped. Not the drug ones, though, just "making threats and harassing phone calls."

Martha Stewart will make an appearance on the Law and Order: SVU episode "Learning Curve" in April.

Doris Roberts will guest on Desperate Housewives before the series' end.

Austin Stowell (best known for playing Jesse on The Secret Life of the American Teenager) is now part of the cast of Ned Fox is My Manny, the upcoming FOX show.

Shows in Development & Other Fun Stuff:
A sequel to Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is in the works. More information should be available this summer, but, for now, know that an outline and several songs are written!

DirecTV, DISH, Verizon FiOS, and AT&T U-verse will offer a free preview of Starz and Encore March 29th - April 2nd.

Ripper Street is BBCAmerica's newest drama, an eight-part series that just began filming.

WEtv has two docuseries coming this summer: Kendra on Top and Cyndi. The first follows Kendrea Wilinson-Baskett, of course, and the second follows Cyndi Lauper.

GSN will have Jeff Foxworthy host a new game show, The American Bible Challenge, to begin shooting later this month.

MTV has four new shows in the making, including The Heights (hour-long docuseries about a group of friends living in Washington Heights), Epic Fail (half-hour panel show to re-enact "cringe-worthy moments"), Totally Clueless (a hidden camera game show), and This is How I Made It (lessons in how to succeed from two celebrities each half-hour).

With SOAPnet disappearing on Friday (March 23rd), be ready for Disney Junior to take its place! It'll be geared toward kids ages 2-7.

OWN isn't doing so hot. They've had to let go of 20% of their staff (though they had a larger staff than typical cable channels) and their numbers aren't as high as they had hoped.

If ABC doesn't renew The River, Netflix might pick it up.

House: Evil Patient, Stoned Doctor, House's Father

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Remember that episode a while back where the kid had lyme disease but they couldn't see the bull's eye because it was under his giant tumor on his head? This episode reminded me of that, as the patient was blind so they didn't consider optical symptoms. Except in the first episode, the kid ends up better than when he started. In this one, the guy ends up worse, having also lost his hearing (or most of it, anyway). They really made out the patient to be an evil guy, too, what with having desires to marry one woman but inviting the other to the hospital, then later proposing to her instead! Was it worse than the Park-gets-high storyline? yes, I think so. Was it worse than House's mother finally admitting who House's biological father is? I'm not entirely sure, but it's close. Speaking of which, part of me wonders if that storyline was included because they're running out of time with this show, or if it was originally scheduled to be revealed at this point.... what do you think?

House "Love is Blind" (S08E14): A blind guy buys an engagement ring. He begins to hear noise hypersensitively and wanders into the street. At the hospital we meet his old girlfriend (they went "on a break" five months prior). They think he might have epilepsy... until he chokes on his own teeth, which came loose because he doesn't practice good dental hygiene. [kids, take note. brush & floss daily.] Another seizure happens, they find some potential brain damage, and then a blood clot occurs. His eyes have dying tissue and it seems that the kid just has a bad infection, but it's so bad that they need to give him a medication that would leave him deaf. He'd rather die than be both blind and deaf, so he refuses treatment. [yeah, I know it's not nice, but I'd probably feel the same way. At that point I'd feel as if I were a vegetable, and I don't want to be kept alive in that state, so why in this one?] His non-girlfriend returns and they say that they love one another, regardless of what comes their way. He undergoes the treatment and loses most of his hearing. Through a squeeze system of "once for yes" and "twice for no," he proposes. She pulls away her hands and verbally says "yes," which he realizes. [we'll pretend they live happily ever after, however unlikely it seems.] 

[Patient's done, let's look at House's drama...] House fakes being out of town when his mother, Blythe, arrives. She knows him all too well, however, and tricks Wilson into believing that she has terminal cancer so that House will agree to see her. [wasn't thrilled that it worked out this way, but I also totally believed it.] House pays kids in the hospital to draw pictures of him in Africa, as that's where he told his mother he was while he was imprisoned. [I don't know why she'd believe that, but okay.] House goes to his mother's hotel and sees her with a man - a friend of the family whom House believes is his biological father. [well, that'd sure be a shock when I was expecting to find my depressed and cancer-stricken mother!] Blythe says that they're engaged and later tells a story of how the two of them used to boycott the war, while House's father fought in it. [wow. I was speechless there. how do you take that?] House, his wife, and Wilson go to dinner with Blythe and her fiance. House explains his wife and is surprised that Blythe's fiance agrees with what they're doing, as he doesn't like the immigration policy, either. [haha!] House then comes clean about jail, but Blythe had known all along - she reads the papers. [figures.] Blythe then admits that she's not freshly engaged... she got married two months after her first husband died. [yikes! I'd still be writing notes of thanks to those who donated food and flowers!] This prompts House to question who his biological father is, and after revealing a genetic birthmark, his mother comes cleans. His father is upset that he was never told. [well, YEAH!!!]

[on to a mini-drama that took place throughout the episode...] The patient had the engagement ring with him when he was brought in, so he asks the doctors to hide it at his apartment. Taub and Park take the opportunity to search the place while they're there. Park had some ice cream and gummi bears (she's bitter because she once lost a boyfriend in college who slept with her friends... she turned to food and gained 82 pounds over it) and later starts tripping. [out of nowhere... so weird.] Taub goes back to find the drugs while Adams and Chase find out where he bought them. The patient wanted to use LSD to try "seeing," and got the drugs from the girl to whom he's planning to propose - but she's on a family vacation. Park is freaking out, and House's mother's fiance helps Park calm down. [creepy. and where was Foreman during all of this??]

Cr: Adam Taylor/FOX