by Amy K. Bredemeyer
I wasn't a big fan of either of TVLand's original comedies this week, plus, they didn't make images available, so I'm condensing them into one post. Now, first off, I was really looking forward to this particular episode of Hot in Cleveland because the first and second instances of "collective birthdays" where the ladies set up one another were pretty good. This one, however... notsomuch. The Santa was too much like "the Jesus," and the intrigue of Joy's date faded pretty quickly. Maybe the writers were trying to make the tail to be like the conjoined twins, but there was just nothing re-watchable in the episode. Similarly, the fact that Fran and Peter have never had a child and the prime window has passed is a great subject for an episode. You could go really funny with that. The push for Peter to help out another woman on her fertility quest had potential, but everything just fizzled out and we were left with a whole bunch of junk. I thought Judy could have had a larger role this time, for instance. Or maybe Cesar could have given some comforting-in-that-savant-way words. Either way, both were misses this week.
Hot in Cleveland "Claus, Tails & High-Pitched Males: Birthdates 3" (S03E17): After seeing her priest for confession, Melanie learns that he's leaving the brotherhood... so she sets him up with Joy. As a man of the cloth, he's never really dated... so he shows up with a wrist corsage for Joy - as that's what he did for his last date - Junior Prom. [hahaha. I love it.] Joy figures that she should be able to get him to do anything, so she tells him that "good" men listen to everything a woman says, do what she wants, and never look at another woman for more than three seconds. Things were kinda hit-or-miss until that last tidbit of advice... which causes him to realize that he lusts for many women, which is why he leaves her. [LoL at "I think I might be a bad man."]
Joy sets up Victoria with the French cruise captain... who, apparently, has a tail. [...?] Victoria manages to get past it until he asks her to pay her portion of the bill. [yep, knew that would be a deal-breaker for her!]
Elka wants another billionaire, but the one Victoria was trying for can't make it at the last minute - he was involved in a drug cartel. [meh.] Victoria picks a random 80-year-old for her... and it sure seems to be Santa. See, he is tired of being Santa and wants to open a Chipotle in Cleveland. Elka thanks him for a specific childhood Christmas, then finds out that he was just a crazy homeless guy. [boring ending to that date!]
Elka strips Melanie when she's asleep to send a naked photo to an actor from Jersey Boys. [somewhat amusing.] He has a really high-pitched voice, but seems to be a great guy otherwise - what with volunteering in Namibia and all. Victoria suggests that she bite the inside of her mouth to stop from laughing at the guy. [not the worst advice, but it's not good for the long run, either.] The voice does in the date anyway.
Happily Divorced "Swimmers and Losers" (S02E05): Fran's friend and old neighbor, Donna, needs some flowers for her granddaughter's christening. This gets Fran thinking about the fact that she never had children. Peter tells Fran that there are pros to being childless - they can travel whenever they want and she doesn't have stretch marks. [lmao. I found it funny that they couldn't think of other benefits!] Peter then decides to donate sperm to another woman (his "work-wife"), which pisses off Fran. She goes to her mother, who is about to get busy with her father, but takes the time to suggest she make sure the other woman knows how much work being a single mother would be. [yeah, that's probably something that would drive her off!] But, she winds up being happy for the other woman. [only Fran!] Fran goes to the sperm clinic to tell Peter that she longed for his child, but she's happy for him. [awkward place to say so, but whatever.] Just after Peter "makes his donation," the woman arrives and says that she's changed her mind. [of course...] Fran gets her way in the end and gets the dog she has always wanted... although it's much daintier than Peter had hoped. [will this dog be a regular character now? Because I can't see it adding all that much...]
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