Two and a Half Men: Jake's Future

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Did you even realize it was time for the season finale of Two and a Half Men? Because, although I was looking forward to it, I had forgotten. It seems that the writers may have as well, as they pull out a Jake storyline after ignoring him for most of the year. He and Eldridge graduate from high school with no future plans. Alan suckers Walden's partner into giving them a job, but, of course, they foul things up in a matter of hours. They're threatened to get jobs immediately, but rather than try for something in the food court, they're quickly roped into joining the army, as they want to fly remote-controlled planes and whatnot like in the video games. Nobody is really thrilled, and some characters are downright scared for the future of the country, but at least we didn't have to deal with another Zoey-hates-Alan storyline. When this show returns in the fall, I will tune in, but if they're largely writing off Jake, I'll be the first one to switch the channel and never look back.

Two and a Half Men "Oh Look Al-Qaeda!" (S09E24): Alan tells Jake to get his life together. ["I will if you will." hahaha] It's clear that Jake still doesn't pay much attention in school, as he believes that "Harvard" is the capital of Connecticut. [a better joke than many they give poor Jake. His exchange with Eldridge - "I don't know why I hang out with you." "You're gay." "What does that make you?" "Attractive." was a little off, though.]

Judith and Lyndsey pressure Alan into asking Walden about giving jobs to Jake and Eldridge, but Walden knows better. His partner, however, isn't the most trusting of Walden at this point (after all, who pays $480 to remove the adjustable feature from an office chair?), so he'll let the boys work for them. [love how Alan only passed on $50 to Jake of the $100 from Walden!] The boys have a simple job to do, but when they start downloading p0rn, a virus hits the servers and disaster strikes, activating a Halon system of sorts. 

Photo: Richard Cartwright/CBS

They're fired and have to find new jobs... they talk about starting a company of making food on sticks when they're greeted by a military recruiter. The boys then announce that they've joined the army, leading Alan to hunt down the recruiter and explain that Jake shouldn't be allowed near weapons. [haha!] The episode ends with the boys going through boot camp, completely unaware of how long it'll be before they're doing "the fun stuff."