Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Secret Life: A Wedding & A Fire

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

"All I know is that I kissed a girl and now I'm gay." WOW. Can we stop and think about this for a second? How do these kids think? I had an openly gay friend in the 8th grade, which was 14-15 years ago... have things not changed a bit in all that time?? Or gotten worse, even? Grace has been one of the characters continuously not understanding anything about sexuality, but I can't believe she actually believed this. Moving on...Did anyone else KNOW that Ben would get in trouble when Leo reiterated that anything that happens because of Dylan, he's on his own? Because I saw it coming. And, I suspect that he'll either kill himself or wind up in jail, so that's a juicy story coming up, for sure. Of course, they're trying to make Ashley's virginity into a big story as well, which is totally not. She'll be gone again in another few episodes, so she and her raggedy hair will be talked about and not seen again. And, speaking of talking, why is this show SO FOCUSED ON TEXTING??!? I understand that's what kids do now, but all of the adults do it, too... is this a trend that I've completely missed? Because I still talk to people on the phone...

Oh, and for all those dumb comments about getting married on the 4th of July? Cory and Topanga almost did that on Boy Meets World, too. Now, there were TONS of questionable jokes about Cory and Shawn's relationship on that show, but, all things aside, there were no comments about it being a "gay holiday" in 1999.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "Love is Love" (S04E24):
Grace tells Kathleen that she's gay because she kissed Adrian. [you know, because things are that simple, lmao.] Adrian doesn't care, and enjoyed the attention brought on by everyone at school finding out. Adrian tells her mom, who points out that it isn't fair to the LGBTQ community if she parades around using female-female kisses for attention - and Adrian doesn't believe that anyone would care or treat her differently. [interesting use of Adrian's mom to point out that standpoint. naive of Adrian, though.] Omar confronts Adrian about kissing someone else and how that's cheating, which only riles up Adrian to kiss Grace again when she asks. [and I just sit here shaking my head...] Jack witnesses. [though has surprisingly little to say about it.] Grace decides to "explore" her look "as a lesbian" by wearing a trucker hat, a denim vest, boots, etc. [we're going to have a conversation about stereotypes, right??!?] A girl at school, Fern, comes up to Adrian and says that she's gay, and tells Adrian that's it's hard to be gay in high school, so it's not cool to try and draw attention by acting like gay actions are "shocking." [while I liked this scene, I felt like it was too mature to actually be taking place.]

Amy asks Anne to help her plan the wedding, as she doesn't know anything other than that she wants about 50 people there. [I always find it fascinating how people make such different first-choice requirements on weddings!] Anne questions whether Amy is sure she wants to get married, then reiterates her own sexuality, despite what Amy wants to believe. Amy argues that their family is different enough, so she doesn't want Anne to be gay. [yeah, because other people get to make those decisions when individuals don't even have control over it.] Ricky is supportive, but Amy claims that Anne won't be happy is she's a lesbian. Amy even says "that's not the way to happiness." [... and I need to pause the episode out of shock.] Once Amy finds out that Ashley already knows about Anne, she demands Ricky get John and they leave, but not before Ashley hits on Ricky. [Anne's top was ugly.] As the topic of conversation changes, Anne is upset that George is back with Kathleen, then tells him that she's had dreams of being with women since she was a teenager, but she married and had kids because that's what "she was supposed to do." [I thought they pulled this off very well.] Anne then tells George about the woman from the shoppe and how they kissed, that she might want to get a degree in design, and that she's afraid her family won't love her anymore. George tries to reassure her, but it helps that Amy apologizes the next day. [these "metaphor" jokes are bad.]  

Leo confronts Ben about the credit card charge, and Ben talks of not wanting to disappoint his father any longer. [not believing this, though.] Ben and Dylan go to her school after hours and she wants to make s'mores in the chem lab. Of course, they start making out, and the next thing we know, Ben's home and Leo tells him that the school burned down because of an explosion in a science lab. [yeah... anyone surprised?] It seems that the security guard who let in the kids to "get Dylan's passport from her locker" was asleep in his car when it happened. Ben is panicked... so panicked, in fact, that he has sex with Alice. [say whaaaaa?] Ben wonders if he should confess, but Alice tells him not to.

Toby comes over to see Ashley, and to ask if Anne is gay. [you know, because nobody can leave that alone.] Ashley says it doesn't matter because of Anne's age. [odd way to look at it, if you ask me.] Ashley and Toby kiss, and Ashley tells him that she only flirts with Ricky to annoy Amy. [meh.]

The episode ends with Amy telling Ricky that she wants to run off and get married ASAP - there's no reason to wait.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "To Begin With..." (S05E01):
Ricky and Amy walk out of a church with a bouquet and get into a car. We see a ton of flashbacks to Bruno Mars' "Marry You." They're not sure what they want to tell people, so they decide to keep it a secret... until they check-in to a hotel and are given the honeymoon suite as an upgrade. [I get jealous of the people who cashed in on that... we didn't get any special upgrades, LoL.] The hotel employee, also thinks that Ricky's degree is in Child Psychology and that he's going to start on his Master's, so the hotel gives them complimentary champagne, which freaks out the paranoid Ricky. [ewww... coconut cake??]
George tells Anne that their family now texts only; they don't answer calls from one another. [while I like this in theory, it's not all that practical, in my opinion.] Anne is lonely and wants to see her family, but they're all busy, and Ashley just wants to be alone. [of course.] Really, though, Toby is in her room, and it seems that they are having sex for the first time. [oh boy.]

Adrian goes to the guidance office to get her diploma, but she wants a full ceremony, even though she went to the Spring ceremony. [such an attention-seeker!] She's surprised to learn that Omar is doing his student teaching there. While cleaning out her locker, however, she focuses on a photo of Ricky. [unattractive skirt on Adrian. Grace is REALLY looking like Kathleen now.] Grace tries to write-off Adrian because of the kiss, but Adrian fights it. [#GracedumpsAdrian was a funny hashtag.] Later, Ruben brings Adrian flowers, and she tells him that things have ended with Omar. [good riddance.] He asks her about Ben, and Adrian says that Dylan is crazy. [hmmmm....]

Henry goes to Ben's to ask why he's been so serious with Alice lately, and Ben says that he's having a difficult time being around Henry because he slept with Adrian. Dylan calls and tries to get Ben to hang out, as he's been avoiding her for about a week. She thinks that her dad has seen everything by now via the video footage, and because he hasn't said anything, it's not a big deal. But, Ben is worried about it, and Leo overhears. [alritey, time to get this storyline going!] Dylan is more excited that they'll be going to school together after all, due to her classes having to be held somewhere. [I don't like this idea... I think it'll be problematic to have all these kids together, yet still try to focus on the college kids on this show AND the tons of adults now with plots of their own.] Leo asks Ben again if he had anything to do with the fire, and Ben lies to his face. [oh, snap!] Later, Leo tells Camille about Ben and the fire, and Ben overhears. Ben goes to see Dylan and says that he wants to tell his dad about it, and asks her to ask her dad about it, too. He then says that they should break up because they're different, but she says that they need to stay together in order to both "get out" of this. [conniving little b!tch...]

George leaves Nora to watch John when he goes to see Kathleen (and ride a motorcycle), but before he goes, Nora suggests that maybe Amy and Ricky went to Vegas to elope. Then, Nora asks Ashley if she thinks they eloped, but Ashley doesn't know anything. George has to go home because Nora thinks that Anne might be coming up from Palm Springs (which takes 2-3 hours) because they think Amy and Ricky ran off to get married... and Tom and Jacob can't wait to start telling people. Jack comes over and Grace decides that she needs to go back to church and re-commit herself to being against pre-marital sex. [so we're going back to Grace 1.0... will she also be head cheerleader her senior year?] Jack has decided to date the girl with whom he made out at that ridiculous party, who happens to be one of Dylan's friends. When George gets home, Toby is in bed with Ashley, rendering George speechless. [why didn't he have more to say?!? His older daughter was pregnant BEFORE SHE STARTED HIGH SCHOOL!!] Toby goes to talk to George, and they realize that Nora could have called Anne and told her, and that could be why she's coming... and we find out that George not only knew that Amy and Ricky were eloping, but he also paid for the hotel.[ooooh... twist!]

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "Shotgun" (S05E02): Anne, Nora, and Margaret are at George's, all wondering what Amy and Ricky are up to. [I still don't understand why everyone is assuming that they got married just because they're spending a night together...] Margaret wonders if Anne and George's constant bickering is good for John, so she wants to babysit more often. [I could go for more Shaker and Margaret, but that probably means that Ethan will show up more, too.]

Leo goes to Dylan's parents' house and has a one-on-one with her father about the fire. Leo is direct, says what he's overheard, and expects Dylan's father to do the right thing. However, Dylan's dad says he'll talk to his daughter about it, but they should really let this blow over and say only what they must... NOT go to the police and give them reasons to pin the crime on the kids. [Leo is more concerned with honesty while Dylan's dad just wants to protect his little girl.]

Adrian goes to Ben and asks him if he asked Ruben to have her get back with him, which prompts Ben to go see Ruben. Ben hears from Ethan (who is hanging around outside George's & Ruben's houses, waiting for Margaret) that Amy and Ricky might have eloped, and when he tells Ruben, he faints. An ambulance arrives and George rides with Ben to the hospital. This gives Ruben a chance to tell Adrian about Ricky and Amy, so she calls Grace to tell her. Grace calls Jack, but he already knew from Tom, who had heard from George. By the time Leo gets to the hospital, Ben is fine but doesn't want to leave, claiming he doesn't feel well. Ben gives Leo the full run-down of the fire, but Leo tells him to shut up and they'll talk in private.

Elsewhere, Grace is "renewing her faith." Ethan texted Jacob about Ben fainting, thinking it's a heart attack or brain aneurysm, plus he tells Ricky and Amy when they arrive that it's the news of their marriage that made Ben faint. [ha!] George talks about how he's proud of Amy and Ricky and how he's glad he paid for the elopement... but then Nora and Margaret talk to Ricky about how Anne was worried that they eloped just because they didn't want her there. [and I'm starting to wonder about the whole thing...]

Finally, Anne wants to talk to Ashley about her sexual relationship with Toby, but that conversation ends when Ashley learns that she got accepted to a cooking school in Italy. [yep, gonna write her off again!] Ashley later tells Anne that she doesn't like the idea that Amy is married in high school. [somebody had to say it!]
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