Melissa & Joey: Mega Update with the Family

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

At least the house is back to normal! And, speaking of which, the whole Mel constantly lying to Joe and always getting caught has gotten old. Really old. I'm going to need this show to come up with something else to base its hijinks on, or to just get more creative in general. Props for being very 2012, though - Joe using a tablet was pretty unexpected, at least for me. Anyway, the basic summary for the most recent four episodes of Melissa & Joey is that Holly cheated on Ryder but he doesn't really care, Mel is still looking for love, Lennox almost lost her virginity, and Joe is now in charge of the household finances. Everything else that happened is kinda moot already. 

Melissa & Joey "Good to Go" (S02E03): On a Sunday morning, Mel takes a call from Aidan's mother, wondering where he is... looks like he slept in Lennox's bed with her. [oh boy...] Mel talks to Lennox, who claims that they just fell asleep watching a movie. [as DJ claimed to Danny about her and Steve...] Joe isn't happy with the situation, which only worsens when Lennox tells Mel that she's decided to have sex with Aidan. [the whole openness thing is so weird to me!] Joe keeps exercising to stop from freaking out. [I guess we could have predicted that?] Joe has Aidan's parents over to the house to try and stop the kids from getting into something that they might not be ready for, but his parents are very into communication and are accepting of Lennox and Aidan having sex. [eep!] When the kids arrive, his parents embrace them, which makes it hard for them to later psych themselves up into "doing it." The kids decide that they don't want to do it because it's so "accepted," so Aidan goes out the window to avoid a conversation, and Lennox tells Mel (hours later) that the acceptance killed the mood. [SO.AWKWARD.] Mel and Joe celebrate at first, but then realize that not knowing when Lennox will have sex is a bigger thing to worry about. [haha!] His parents come over again and want the kids to give it another try, but Joe says that he'll beat them up if they stay along this path. [LoL!]

Holly suggests that Ryder should begin shaving, even though he has a total of three hairs. She even offers to teach him how, though he was hoping that Joe would handle that. [sensible that he'd look to Joe here.] She covers his face in pink foam, and as he hyperventilates, she begins. He's quite cut when Mel and Joey see him. [a pretty "blah" story, in all honesty.]

Melissa & Joey "All Up In My Business" (S02E04): Joe takes over the bill-paying responsibilities because Mel forgot to pay the gas bill. [not exciting, except for the fact that he has to cancel all THREE of Mel's gym memberships.] Joe worries that Mel is having an affair with a married man, especially when he finds out that she's been going to a downtown hotel on a consistent basis. He goes to the hotel to see what's going on, and it seems that she just takes time for herself there weekly, enjoying the jacuzzi, the soft robes, the fancy chocolate, etc. [I can appreciate time to yourself as well as the next person, but is this really the most economical way to do so?] Joe buys her a soft robe, a great set of sheets, some special chocolate, and a rom-com DVD, so she can have the "hotel experience" in her room in the future. [awwww!]

Lennox's friend, Scarlet, is dating a boy who acts really strange around Lennox, so she invites them both over to hang out. [Lennox is becoming less and less believable as a teenager, IMO.] He mentions that she has a cute neck (he sits behind her in a class), and that heightens the tension. [what boy says that??!?] With Mel sneaking off all the time, she has to ask Joe for advice, and he tells her to talk to Scarlet about it, even if she'll take it poorly. Scarlet doesn't believe it, and even manages to insult Lennox for suggesting that Haskell could even be into someone as non-hott as Lennox. [b!tch!] Well, Scarlet and Haskell break up because he accidentally started dating Scarlet when he wanted to date Lennox. [hahaha!] She tells him to wait two months before they can get together. [LoL... things have changed! When I was 14, you could break up with one girl and start dating her friend the same night, with no issues.] 

Ryder doesn't know what to get Holly for her birthday, so he goes with a tanktop that Lennox calls "cute." [Mel's suggestion of an edible fruit bouquet was odd.] Well, Holly comes over wearing the same shirt, so Ryder scrambles for an excuse not to fork over his gift, but she's happy that he got her that shirt, as it proves that he knows "exactly what she likes." [good enough for me!]

Melissa & Joey "The Knockout" (S02E05): The family is at the movies and a guy sitting behind them keeps taking phone calls. [omg annoying.] Joe wants to deck him, but Mel asks him to get an usher instead. While he's gone, Lennox tells the guy that he's causing a problem, and when he touches Ryder, she punches him. [whoa!] Someone records it and it goes viral, but Mel wants it to stay under wraps. [totally believable, being a politician and all!] At the office, however, Harper spins it so Mel fights for the "little people," so she confesses to it all and they start putting it into a positive light.

http://abcfamily.go.com

There's a new girl, Hester, at school that Lennox tries to befriend, even inviting her to hand after school. Well, Lennox's notebook goes missing shortly thereafter, but Lennox doesn't want to believe that Hester would do that. Still, Joe insists they search her bag... after three glasses of iced tea. So, Lennox asks her about it, then tells her stealing is wrong. [this storyline was SOOO "high and mighty" !!]

Ryder gets picked on at school because his aunt defended him, so he asks Joe to teach him how to fight. [do we all know where this is headed?] Joe gives him some boxing tips, and, the next thing you know, Ryder gets a fat lip in a fight. The other boy's mother comes over and Mel decides that fighting is wrong and they can't keep promoting it. [and, we're back to status quo. BORING!]

Melissa & Joey "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" (S02E06): [blech. abbreviated theme song.] Mel is "dressing defensively" because she's going to break up with a guy on a date. [her thinking aloud about what to order for a quick getaway was too much, though.] Mel nearly lets it slip several times that she's going to be leaving him, but things change after he reveals that he just lost his job unexpectedly. [flashback to Friends' "The One with Rachel's Date," where Phoebe and Monica can't both break up with a guy and fire him at the same time.] Mel asks Joe to find the guy a job so she can dump him quicker... preferably before she has to put out. [...and, we're getting adult.] A week later, he has new glasses, two job offers, and renewed confidence. Mel tries to break up with him, but after he gets Mel a meal that isn't even on the menu, she changes her mind. The next time they see one another, he's not even wearing glasses and is flirting with everyone. [yeah, yeah, I get it. But, this isn't high school... makeovers don't actually change your lives, guys.]

Holly comes over to talk to Lennox to ask what she should do - she kissed another boy at a party. [really? someone else is interested in CrazyHolly?] Lennox tells her to be truthful with Ryder, or she'll tell her brother instead. ["I know how much you like to accidentally make out with people." ha!] A week later, Lennox realizes that Holly hasn't told Ryder the truth yet, and she asks Joe to do it. [chickening out is so annoying. BUT, "you're so good at everything." "only everything I've ever tried" even worse.] He doesn't want to but does it anyway... turns out, Ryder already knew, but he's been milking Holly's niceness. [love it!] Holly finally confesses when they watch a zombie movie, and Ryder blows it by revealing he already knew. [stupid boy. he could've done better!]