SHIELD: Only a Tiny Improvement

Better than last week, sure, but there might just be too much violence for me. Of course, maybe I should have taken "front row seats to the craziest show on Earth" a little more seriously, but how can I when the promos for the series include phrases like, "their most bizarre case yet," when fewer than five episodes have aired?? I wasn't a Firefly fan right away, so out of respect for Joss Whedon, I will give this drama one more episode to get shiny! There is talent in the cast, and plenty of money in the sets, so if only the plots would be a little more interesting, because Skye as a spy sure ain't doing it... 

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. "0-8-4" (S01E02): Skye shows up with her stuff, ready to be a consultant for SHIELD. Melinda is worried that they're adding yet another person with no combat training, but they head off for an Incan archaeological site in Peru. There, they come across a 1500-year-old object in a millenium-old structure. It may be German, but before they can figure out too much, they're under fire and must make a run with it. When they get back to the plane, Fitz reveals that it is full of radiation, and they don't have the proper containment options. [the references are SO obvious they make me sick. "Stark's a consultant." the last thing we found? "a hammer."]

ABC/Richard Foreman

It becomes clear that the team has only been working together as of recently, but they're talents individuals: Ward speaks six languages, Simmons has 2 PhDs in fields Coulson can't pronounce, and Fitz is a rocket scientist. Skye tries to start over with Ward, but soon afterward, the "rescued" Peruvians attack the plane. Fitz, Simmons, Ward, Skye, and Melinda are thrown into the hold, while Coulson is kept elsewhere, to confirm flight patterns and such. [Fitz and Simmons being shocked at who Melinda is was stupid.] Melinda dislocates her wrist to get out, then knocks out a guy with her legs. [talent.] The geniuses then use a mini remote-controlled helicopter to make the gamma-radiation bomb blow a hole in the side of the plane, sucking out the bad guys before Skye inflates a raft to block the hole. [I'm pretty doubtful that would work, as the vacuum force is strong AND the placement would have to be just right.] Camilla, Coulson's friend from years ago, will be tried for the overtake. They are able to safely transfer the 0-8-4 at "The Slingshot" to send it to the sun before it becomes so unstable it explodes. 

The episode ends with Skye getting a message from another organization, to which she replies, "I'm in," noting that she might be infiltrating SHIELD. [eye roll.] Oh, but it doesn't really end there, as there's a Nicky Fury scene where he gets upset it only took Coulson six days to turn the plane into scrap metal. [was the fish tanks thing supposed to be funny?]