Secret Life: The New Couple on the Block

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Well, although Jack and Grace are back together, I'm not referring to them. And, though Ethan and Kathy are fairly together now, I'm not talking about them, either. Plus, Leo and Camille may be pseudo-engaged now, but it's another duo entirely who is on my mind... I'm talking about Dylan and Henry. While it was only meant to be a ruse, Henry decided to get serious about dating Ben's ex-girlfriend, and I think that Dylan might buy into it - even if she doesn't like him all that much, she is the attention-seeking type. Granted, as soon as things become bearable with Alice, Henry might switch his focus, but by the time that happens we'll be dealing with a better storyline elsewhere. I hope. Honestly, I'm not worried, but it's only a matter of time before I get tired of the Ricky-Amy mess with jealousy and fake marriage and half-complaining about having to raise a toddler. I mean, I know she's kinda the center of the show, but her arc is becoming garbage. Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong...

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "Girlfriends" (S05E07): [let's get back to the new couple in a bit, shall we?] Let's start with Amy... who feels alone because Madison and Lauren are kinda in a different stage of life. [preach it, sister!] Grace suggests that they do something together, but Amy claims she doesn't have time for friends. [...the exact opposite of what she just said. good job, Amy. not.] Grace suggests she come over, help with John, and bring Jack to chill with Ricky. Amy isn't thrilled but tells Ricky the plan - and he wants to invite Clementine over, too. [I think that kinda came out of nowhere, but whatever.] When Jack picks up Grace she springs the plan on him, and he's a bit hesitant. [...just why didn't she tell him at any earlier point in the day? that's the kinda plans change that would drive me up the wall!] Clementine arrives first, and tells Amy about how Ricky used to play baseball until he got kicked off a championship team for drawing naughty pictures on the bases. [the jokes of little "third base" sketches kinda disturbed me...] When Grace and Jack show up, Clementine leaves immediately, leaving Grace to deduce that she slept with Jack. [ahhhh! of course! why would this show have two characters know each other any other way??] Shortly thereafter, Adrian arrives, having found out about the "party" when Clementine busts up Adrian's flirting party at the coffeeshop. The only thing she really does is warn Amy that Clementine is after Ricky. [according to Adrian, who ISN'T after Ricky??] 

Amy isn't the only one having friend drama going on, though. Kathy doesn't really have any female friends so when two mean girls take an interest in her, she jumps at the chance to become friends, immediately inviting them to a sleepover. [the day they meet?? I call BS!] Not being accustomed to having friends, Kathy lets them tease Ethan. [while I probably allowed something similar to happen 13-14 years ago, I at least apologized to the boy. and what teenager has a ringtone that's a bunch of beeps??] Unfortunately, hours go by and Kathy's friends don't show up. [!!!] Fortunately, Kathy's grandmother calls Ethan to comfort her, but he can only stay a little while, as Margaret is in the driveway. [when are we going to find out how Margaret feels about Ethan dating a pregnant girl??] The mean girls do show up and start talking about everything they found out from googling her, and that's the end of that. [...what? I mean, I google people before I do interviews, but not when I'm becoming friends with them!]

Alright... let's move on to Ben & Co... Alice doesn't want to pretend to date Ben. [while I agree with her, I don't think that she was all that clear about her own reasoning.] Henry finds out that Alice and Ben have been intimate, so he becomes determined to actually "date" Dylan, laying out all of the maturity cards when he meets her parents. He destroys their movie plans by suggesting the family play board games, and when she questions his motives, he says that she's wasting her time on Ben and that he really does want to date her. A kiss confirms his statement... for now. 

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Ben apologized to Omar and everything got dismissed - they won't even have marks on their records. [while I didn't want to see either of them get dragged through the mud, I was disappointed that both of Ben's legal issues wrapped up off-screen and so quickly.] Omar tells Ben that he proposed to Adrian and she's been stalling. [I never see that happening... oh, and Katelyn is doing her makeup differently... makes her look older, I think.] Later, Ben tells Leo of his plans to hang with Alice (but really Dylan), but Leo puts a stop to that, claiming Dylan's dad called to find out more about Henry, so he figured out the ploy. Ben is sent to his room without his phone and Leo calls Alice... it turns out that Leo bluffed to Ben about Dylan's dad - it was Alice who told him what was going down! [doesn't it make you sick that the worst punishment these days is having your phone taken away??] Later that night, Ben tells Leo that he and Camille aren't compatible and that if she could get pregnant, she would've trapped him by now. [what a horrendous thing to say! we have no reason to believe Camille would do that!] Leo suspects Ben is drunk, but after he says that he's sober, Camille slugs him in the face and Leo laughs. Leo proposes and Camille accepts. [another wedding for Leo? ...really? I bet Betty's gonna go crazy!]