Archer - Both Columns

Archer "The Honeymooners" (S04E09): 

From the Diary of Archer Sterling...

Lana had some issues getting into character as my shiny new bride while undercover going after some uranium... her butt is getting massive by the way. Pam got to torture Cyril about us staying in the honeymoon suite alone together, so totally worth it right off the bat...

While Cheryl tried to convince Pam and Cyril to swing by the zoo for tranquilizers on the way to spy on us, Lana was being a stick in the mud and wouldn't help order room service. PS: The room rocks... hot tub in one corner and a wall-sized aquarium opposite it, but no, Lana kept focused on that 'nation-state equivalent of the short bus.' (We all know what country I mean...) Mother started flipping out because the charge for the room went on her credit card, which I stole.

FX Network

Lana was so impatient she went and tried to climb the outside of the building without me... but then, I got my bonus... my little bonus. I rushed out and climbed up the side of the hotel to catch Lana because she wouldn't freakin' check her bonus on her phone, and guess what: she got a DOUBLE BONUS, mine included. Mother is a vindictive psycho, because then she also put her agent in charge.

Moving on... Cheryl, Pam, and Cyril crash in a room with a view of all our action, as we then get tied up in the North Koreans' room. I save Lana's life for the second time in 10 minutes, and eventually Cyril shows up and creates a lot of smoke in their room somehow. Seriously, I have no idea where the smoke came from! Mission completed, but then Mother takes both our bonuses to pay the hotel bill because Cheryl won't use her amazing owner powers to make it disappear.  And we didn't even catch the madman with the uranium... yea for Lana in charge! Not.