Thursday, May 8, 2014

MASSIVE ROUND-UP: Melissa & Joey: Together at Last

You probably thought I'd forgotten about this show, right? No, it just fell by the wayside as I've had other things going on, and then I couldn't decide what my stance was on it anymore... I was mad at Lennox for dating her TA, confused over Ryder's obsession with helping his teen-mother-girlfriend maintain a "normal" life, and wishy-washy over the whole Mel-and-Joe "thing." But, now I'm pretty clear on my opinions of this series, so I'm ready to give them and return to regular coverage once again. I'm still not happy with Lennox's situation - Zander never really seemed like that great of a guy to me. But, I like Ryder playing the field, even if he might have "gotten a home run" prematurely. As for Mel and Joe, we all knew that they were eventually going to get together, though they've hardly been dating and are now getting married in just a month, with the possibility of a baby probably not too far down the line. I'm definitely not getting behind the quickie wedding, but am looking forward to seeing how the writers decide to creatively construct that inevitable hilarity.
Melissa & Joey "House Broken" (S03E22): At the Farmer's Market, Mel sees a dog for adoption, and, despite Joe telling her that he isn't interested, she gets it anyway. [bad move.] Mel is convinced that she'll be able to care for Wendell on her own, with the help of a dogwalker. But, the teenager she hired gets grounded and Joe must care for the pup. [hahaha, teenagers!] Before long, Joe is using the dog to entertain his clients while they're waiting, and the dog clings to him - even coming into his room at night. [there are workout capris for guys?] But, the dog winds up belonging to someone else. [whew! glad we were able to ditch that responsibility!] Lennox helps Mel realize that she wants a baby, but Mel can't bring herself to admit it to Joe, who is intimidated by babies. [well, yeah.] 

Ryder has been caring for his girlfriend's baby more and more, and it seems that his ulterior motive is to be intimate with her. But, when he gets a one-on-one date with Stella, she promptly announces that she wants to go to college, so she will be avoiding sex. [good for her.]

Melissa & Joey "Couples Therapy" (S03E23): Mel loses a friend when the girl doesn't want to hang out with her and Joe, as they are constantly arguing. Mel thinks that they might have a problem, and wants to go to couples counseling. It turns out, the counselor dated Joe back in the day, so he listens to her suggestions. [ugh.] Mel accuses him of sucking up to his ex, and begins to wonder who broke up with whom. Both claim they were the dumper, so Mel decides they shouldn't be going to this therapist. [probably for the better!] The couple later has a heart-to-heart, where Joe admits that he was dumped but didn't want to disappoint Mel. [whatever.] 

Lennox is dating her philosophy TA, and Zander finds out online, so he comes running back to Ohio to warn Lennox that she could be making a mistake. [duh.] Lennox begins to wonder what her relationship is with the TA when he gives her an A on an assignment that she didn't even finish. [uhhh...]

Melissa & Joey "To Tell the Truth" (S03E24): Mel and Joe have not been successful in finding another couple to hang out with, so when a game night goes well, Mel is ecstatic that the other couple asks them out to dinner. [I'm kinda jealous right now, not gonna lie.] But, the guy, Nate, is thinking of breaking it off with his wife, which he confides in Joe, though Joe tells Mel. Well, Mel can't keep secrets so she blurts it out to Jillian over coffee, only to find out that it was a momentary situation, and the "d-word" got back to Jillian for no reason. [that sucks!] When Mel and Joe show up for their double-date, the other couple left two envelopes for them - each that has a secret the other couple kept. [we don't get to know what they were, though. boo. :(] 

Zander is still hanging around, and asks Ryder to hide him in the basement as he's continuing to check on Lennox. It's only a matter of time before Lennox finds him, though. [I scowled and shook my head over this ridiculous ploy.] 

Melissa & Joey "My Roof, My Rules" (S03E25): Lennox's boyfriend sleeps over, but Joe and Mel soon learn that Emerson is a TA, which is a bigger problem. Mel forbids him from coming over, which prompts Lennox to move out. [so.much.drama.with.teenagers!] Joe suggests that Mel cut her off, but Mel is afraid that taking away Lennox's tuition, credit cards, and birth control will leave her to be a college-drop-out young mother. But, the loudness and grossness at Emerson's sends her home to shower and relax, and seeing her niece leads Mel to allow Emerson over. Lennox rebels by cleaning Emerson's bathroom, but his roommate's bird flies out the window. The older guy chastises the college freshman for doing things "without his authorization," so she breaks it off and moves home. [this was getting more and more unbelievable, so good riddance!] But, she doesn't want to go crawling back, so Joe helps her stage a kicking-and-screaming situation, but Mel doesn't buy it. [ha!] 

Meanwhile, Ryder is supposed to be on a French trip to Montreal, but he forgot his passport and must wait at a hotel near the border with his homeroom teacher. [both times I traveled overseas on school trips we had to turn in our passports to the school the school day before we left so nobody could forget it the day of, LoL.] Ryder asks Mel to find it and drive it up to him, but she and Joe can't locate it. Turns out, he had it the whole time, and got sucked into a Walking Dead marathon instead. [what?!? how was that acceptable??!?] And, as soon as he's back home, he loses track of his passport again. [serious eye roll!]

Melissa & Joey "Chaperones" (S03E26): Mel pays Lennox to babysit Stella's daughter so Ryder can go to the Prom with his girlfriend, then takes Joe to chaperone the event. But, Stella doesn't seem interested in Ryder anymore, and Joe tells him to break it off, but Mel and Lennox claim that you can't dump a girl right before a dance. [um, you can't. just like around her birthday, Valentine's Day, and Christmas. Those are all black-out dates.] He decides to stick with her, but when they go to leave for the dance, Isabelle is burning up, and they have to stay home with the baby. [liked Mel's dress. Stella's was ugly and not dance-ish.] At the dance, Joe realizes he likes to bust kids breaking the rules, but when Mel tells Joe that he's not being any fun, they mess around in a coach's office and almost get caught. [why are the dresses so much more casual than the ones we wore fifteen years ago??] Unfortunately, they confess when some teens are about to get blamed, and are thrown out. [inappropriate parent conduct seems to happen so frequently at televised school dances...] Meanwhile, Ryder and Stella have sex, and, afterward, he lets her check her email on his computer, but she sees the break-up speech he was writing. [uh oh.] 

Melissa & Joey "I'll Cut You" (S03E27): Joe gets into a fender-bender, and it turns out that the woman who hit him was Mel's hairdresser, Calista. [Mel has a back tattoo!] Mel doesn't want trouble, so she lies to Joe and says the woman will pay the $800 in two installments, but just pays it herself. Lennox catches her, and so does Joe, when he goes to thank Calista in person. [can't let a sleeping dog lie...] Mel gets banned from the salon mid-highlights, and her head is a wreck. [omg!] Lennox can't fix it, and when Mel's hair begins to break off in clumps, Lennox convinces Joe to go apologize to Calista and fix the problem, though it's Lennox's threat of spreading negative publicity that makes Calista agree to fix Mel. [oh, the power of social media!] 

Over at the high school, Ryan tries to win back Stella, making a grand gesture of a holding up cue cards during a song played on a boombox during biology class. [he seriously tried to talk to her during a class that he's not in??] She leaves the class without saying whether or not she'd forgive him, but later says that her baby eats up too much time for her to be dating. And, another girl starts hitting on Ryder. [meh. I didn't care about Stella anyway.] 

Melissa & Joey "Catch & Release" (S03E28): Lennox and Zander work on their comic, and he asks her out again. [really? we're back to that??] He's also about to move in with two women, though, and attend college in Toledo once more. When Lennox disapproves of his living arrangements, he accuses her of being jealous, which she denies. [of course.] 

One of Joe's friends is single again, so he acts as a wing-man when they're out, even though he doesn't want to. He plays obnoxious around the ladies, but still brings home a few phone numbers, which Ryder claims are his to save Joe in front of Mel. [nice play, Ryder!] Unfortunately, Joe and Mel head to a work event of hers and they run into a woman to whom he pretended to be a secret agent. [sounds like a Barney Stinson problem...] Mel is upset when Joe admits that part of him wanted to know if he "still had it," but once she blurts out that she has fantasies, they make up. [oooookay....]

Melissa & Joey "Born to Run" (S03E29): Mel's father visits, and he's not surprised that she's dating Joe. In fact, he thought they were intimate since Joe became the nanny. [I hate when parents assume things about relationships!] Joe gets the man his first smartphone, but he winds up spamming out his private parts. Because of this, Mel is worried that her run for State Senate is over, and the Governor pulls his support. Mel questions if she should run, but her reasoning might have more to do with the fact that it would put her away from Joe five days each week. [because Joe couldn't move across the state because....??] As soon as things turn around in the public, but Joe suggests that she wait a year and run for Congress instead, which she decides to do. [too bad; I was looking forward to the campaigning episodes!] Meanwhile, Ryder decides to make money on the scandal by having shirts made, though Lennox guilts him out of selling them. Fortunately, Grandpa actually loves the shirts and buys them from Ryder, thus giving him a successful entrepreneurial endeavor to put on his resume. [the luck!] 

Melissa & Joey "More than Roommates" (S03E30): Joe's mother sends him his grandmother's chair, but Mel isn't a fan. [I hate Joe's shirt.] She's having an in-house interview in a few days, so she tries to manipulate Joe into moving the chair, but he sees through her. However, when Mel dreams of seeing Nona's ghost, she heeds the spirit's advice that she must accept the chair to accept Joe. [so weird!] Mel tries to get accustomed to the piece of furniture, but accidentally spills red wine on it and Joe thinks it was done purposefully. They fight over the chair, and find $10,000 inside from Nona! [this is a little too early 90s TV here, don't ya think?] 

Ryder helps Zander's roommates move some furniture, and he pretends to be a college senior, which quickly gets him "lucky." But, Ryder is hung up on her, despite the fact that she moves on immediately... to Zander. [awkward!]

Melissa & Joey "Accidents Will Happen" (S03E31): Joe asks Mel to leave him alone for 48 hours so he can focus on a presentation to secure a loan, so when she realizes she's pregnant (first by learning it's been six weeks since she yelled at Ryder for a math test, then taking an old home pregnancy test) she keeps it a secret while trying to gauge what Joe's reaction will be. [these types of storylines are really icky to me... if the answer isn't "happy," then maybe you're not making the best choices.] Lennox learns of the truth, but must then pretend she's the one expecting when Joe finds the test in the trash. [she was incredibly unconvincing, but Joe didn't want to see that, LoL.] Joe thinks Zander is the father, so he confronts the teen... who says they haven't had sex in 8 months. [some great acting from Joey Lawrence when Mel's talking about Lennox's car accident but he thinks she's talking about Lennox's pregnancy! reminiscent of the Frasier when Roz's little secret slips out!] Zander starts to tell Lennox that he'll be there for her, and they wind up getting back together. [THIS is what does it??] To top it all off, Joe doesn't get the loan, because of his history with Scanlon. [that sucks.] Mel goes to see her doctor and learns that it was a false positive, leaving her with mixed emotions. [small Sabrina, The Teenage Witch reunion with her doctor!]

Elsewhere in the house Ryder starts taking math seriously because of Mel's lecture, though he seems to spend more time helping his tutor, Preston, look good in front of Layla, another tutored student. 

Melissa & Joey "Right Time, Right Place" (S03E32): Mel's friend is getting married at her dream venue, so Mel is gushing about the location, even if it has a two-year waiting list. [I don't know if there even IS a venue with such a wait where I got married, LoL!] The bride and groom to-be break up because he had a secret second family, and there are four weeks before the big day, so Mel decides to try using the reservations to marry Joe. [between the large chair in the dining room and the round table near the bay window, the decor in the house is a little weird now.] He's hesitant, but Lennox thinks it's because he wants to pull off a romantic one-of-a-kind proposal first. [I guess that's a reasonable way of looking at it?] Ryder sees Joe at a jewelry store, then hears him confirming reservations at a nice restaurant, so Lennox and Mel think "it's the night." [love how they went to pick out an "engagement dress" like on Legally Blonde!] But, although Joe is acting strange, the biggest step he takes at dinner is asking Mel if he can share her bedroom. Then, back at home, Joe pulls out a Tiffany's bag and gifts Ryder a nice watch, leading Mel to flip out on Joe. [thank God my husband proposed when I didn't even know engagement was on the horizon yet! I don't think I could handle the anxiety of these situations!] Then, Joe pulls out a ring box, says they'll use the reservation of her friend's, and leads Mel to a candlelit backyard with a live band. Unfortunately, she flips out that the wedding is four weeks away, as there's a lot to be done.
While all of that drama is occurring, Ryder tries to get a job, so Lennox tells him to lie on his resume and pretend he has experience. [um, he has SOME experience. remember that entrepreneurial shirt business only a few episodes ago??] 
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