RETURNING: Instant Mom: An Aaron Episode

This a returning show that we're only going to cover some episodes of, but the first episode of the new season is included! Gabby has a minimal role, which is different, and Aaron has noticeably grown since last season. Maggie's screentime was about how I liked it, but that was about the only thing I really enjoyed. I think this show really needs to come up with a good way to keep all of the characters involved, or limit itself to a solid B-story rather than B- and C- tidbits that leave audiences hanging. Still, this is a series that could make some great holiday episodes, so I look forward to checking back.

Instant Mom "Sanders Again" (S02E01): Aaron and Gabby fight over the television, but James makes a bigger deal out of wanting a 3D TV. Aaron not getting his way causes him to bring back an old imaginary friend, Sanders, who is a troublemaker. When Aaron bring him to school, it causes a disturbance and Stephanie must tell Aaron that Sanders has been suspended and can only play at home. But, he returns, and Stephanie must pick him up during lunch, which only leads to an elaborate story about where the "kid" ended up - the hospital.

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When Stephanie begins to play along too much, she winds up ending the whole charade by throwing the kid out of the house. Cue Maggie running him over after being established as a bad driver. [the fact that she managed to scratch both Stephanie and Charlie's cars was pointed out only to play up her idiocy.] 

Instant Mom: Keeping Secrets

Bribery has become commonplace on Instant Mom, and it's no longer just hush money, either. In this episode, Stephanie placates Gabby with a (false) account of a past relationship, further portraying how poor the values are on this series. The stuffed moose head was cute, but that's where the amusement ended for me. Maggie insisting that Charlie gift Stephanie diamonds was inappropriate and annoying, James being shown that there are many sneaky ways to make a buck was mortifying, and Aaron being told to keep secrets from adults made me feel icky. Being quiet about a gift until it's given is one thing, but staying mum about the details over how it's procured is something else. I find that I sigh often when I think about the messages in this family comedy, and I'm willing to bet I'm not alone...

Instant Mom "Should Old Acquaintance Be for Hire" (S01E24): It's Charlie and Stephanie's first anniversary, and Gabby is determined to figure out what they're gifting one another. Maggie is also invested in the situation, and wants to make sure Charlie's gift for her daughter includes diamonds. Well, Stephanie wants to have a sound system installed for Charlie, so she sends him on a day-long errand to bring back a stuffed moose head "for an event." Meanwhile, she hires her ex-boyfriend, Vince, to do the work for cheap. Unfortunately, it appears that he keeps hitting on her, and the kids find out over the intercom that the two used to be a couple. [intercoms are nothing but bad news on television shows!] Charlie returns with the head, though Stephanie is rushed to present the gift because the kids nearly blow the secret. 

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The plan backfires, though, when Charlie loves it so much that he wants to tweak it a bit, and calls Vince to do the work. [why didn't Stephanie just get the number of the company he works for and have them send out someone else?] Stephanie learns that all Vince is after is a new doctor client pool, so she comes clean about the situation to Charlie at dinner. He already knew, though, as Vince admitted the truth when the men first met. [Charlie gifting Stephanie the note from when she hit his car was touching, but also kinda bring.]

Instant Mom: Doing Good for the World

So many of this show's episodes are exactly the same. Stephanie tries to teach the kids something, but it backfires. There was the time Stephanie insisted she knew how to camp but didn't, when she taking Gabby "bargain shopping" at a boutique that carried $200 jeans, when firing the maid backfired, teaching Aaron about death didn't work, refusing to hire a caterer when you can't cook, refusing to hire a sitter when the kids can't be trusted, giving her dad another chance though he's a crook, turning to the internet for help only for the kids to post advice, revealing how you got away with stuff and not realizing the kids will play the same angles, trying to help Aaron make friends and winding up banned from the school, forcing the kids to learn musical instruments and then being mortified when they lie about their abilities, and accidentally teaching your kids to lie. Yeah, that's 12 instances in 22 episodes... pretty high. I'm giving this my best McKayla Maroney "not impressed" face.

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Instant Mom "The Last Auction Hero" (S01E23): There was a canned food drive in the schools but none of the kids participated, upsetting Stephanie. [haha, I remember taking cans of stuff I didn't like to donate to those things... bye-bye, peas!] She tells the kids to each do something to help the world, deciding that she will volunteer to run the pediatric ward's silent auction... but it means working alongside Beverly, Charlie's boss, with whom she has a poor history. [I don't understand how Stephanie was the most qualified volunteer for this...] Stephanie thinks she'll succeed when she gets a cruise donated, but it turns out that it left before the event, so she can't auction it alongside James' painting of the Philadelphia skyline and Gabby's autographed album of angry songs (all written with just the B-flat chord). Aaron actually doesn't even contribute, not wanting to give any of his own things away. [but sharing his stuffed Ninja Turtle at the end was cute, albeit predictable.] That might be just as well, however, as Gabby's songs are annoying and James got plastic garbage bag on his painting before it dried. [James' humor makes me laugh.]

Charlie isn't helpful at the auction because he's focused on making sure he wins a vintage lunchbox, so while Stephanie tries to promote other items, James sits down in a wheelchair, causing people to think he's disabled. [omg!] He ruins the charade when he celebrate the total hitting $100k, and Stephanie has to encourage people to keep their bids for the children. [I'm surprised it works as well as it does, honestly.]

Instant Mom: Mothers Help Each Other Out

I'm very curious as to how the guest stars [Meredith Baxter (Family Ties), Jackee Harry (Sister, Sister), Florence Henderson (The Brady Bunch), Marion Ross (Happy Days), Tempestt Bledsoe (The Cosby Show)] were selected for this episode... did the producers see who was available and then have the writers craft the jokes from there? I mean, Jackee Harry is perfect for this, but Meredith Baxter and Marion Ross in particular are very interchangeable with the dozens of other sitcom mothers over the years. Tempestt Bledsoe seemed like a fill-in... like maybe Phylicia Rashad was supposed to be there but then they re-wrote it for whichever Cosby kid they could manage, and Tempestt is the most sitcom-oriented these days? Regardless, I loved the catchphrases ("jump the shark"!!) and jokes (haha, younger, cuter kids), particularly Tempestt's about how perfect Cliff and Clair were as parents... a doctor and a lawyer with unlimited time to teach their children lessons in the most creative ways! This series is gonna be fine... and might even pick up a larger audience now that Trophy Wife has been cancelled! 

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Instant Mom "Not Your Mother's Day" (S01E22): Stephanie expects the full Mother's Day treatment from the kids, but they didn't really get anything for her, so they cover by claiming that Stepmother's Day is the following Sunday. [I looked it up... apparently it's not really a thing.] She takes her own mother to a day at a spa to celebrate the day but they wind up arguing over who is a better mother, but Maggie's anger is actually stemming from the fact that Stephanie didn't write a mushy message in her card. [I'm doing my "not impressed" face over Maggie's issue here.] Stephanie gets some advice from other mothers (the guest stars), but she and Maggie still wind up slinging mud at one another. All is made well again when Stephanie says something that would be sweet in a card, and Maggie forgives her. [is Maggie really the type of mother who will read a card over and over?] 

Meanwhile, back at the house, Charlie and the kids put together a hodgepodge Mother's Day for Stephanie, including someone else's cake, off-holiday balloons, a solution of various perfumes, and a poorly constructed poem. [you win some, you lose some.]

Instant Mom: Parenting Choices

I'm well aware that parents hate to hear non-parents' perspectives on parenting, but Charlie REALLY got on my nerves in this episode! I have no problem with him helping Aaron unconventionally getting merit badges, but I can't come up with an excuse I'd accept as to why he is so unwilling to try new things. 

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 What kind of example does it show his children when he isn't even willing to TRY the pizza Stephanie ordered from a new place?? And, speaking of Stephanie, why was she trying to be uber-fashionable on a family camping trip? I could try to understand if it was a trip with friends or other moms (I mean, let's not lie... I have very color-coordinated athletic outfits for group hikes but I wear old tees and too-short sweatpants to the gym!), but I just kept shaking my head at Stephanie's wardrobe choices for this episode. ESPECIALLY if she was trying to convince Charlie that she knew what she was doing! Okay, I'm wrapping up my rant now, and hoping for better moving forward.

Instant Mom "Camp Fear" (S01E21): Aaron and a few of his friends are camping inside, so Stephanie offers to take them on a real camping trip, along with the whole family. James and Charlie aren't interested in "voluntary homelessness," but Gabby, surprisingly, gets really into it. [haha, I remember Kate Gosselin using similar terminology regarding camping.] Maggie shows up in an RV, undermining her daughter and letting the family know that Stephanie isn't actually an expert. Of course, this becomes apparent soon afterward when she can't put up the tent and forgot to apply insect repellent. [tents are tricky your first time.] One by one, the family heads into the RV, but when they laugh at Stephanie, she locks them out and throws the keys into the woods. Then, a storm rolls in. [of course!] They can't find the keys, it gets dark, but Charlie finally manages to get everyone to help with the tent. [multiple people really helps with tents, LoL. and campfires, if you're me, ha!] The food is up in a tree to keep it away from bears, but raccoons get it. The kids still have a good time, however, and Aaron admits the next day that he found the keys but wanted the full experience. [I'm glad that the kid didn't get into trouble for that, at least!] 

Instant Mom: The Kids are Here to Stay

Can you believe that this show is 20 episodes in already? It was definitely time to re-visit how the premise came to be (Charlie's ex-wife, Kim, got wrapped up in caring for her mother and couldn't watch the kids full-time), and why it will continue (Kim is moving to Africa). The kids sure seem to have adjusted remarkably well to not having their mother in their lives, after primarily living with her after the divorce. In fact, not one of the three seems to have much emotional attachment (which could be a sign of the times) to her, so it would be easy to write off the idea of the kids ever having to reunite with her again, except maybe a trip or two down the line. But, now that the status quo for the show has been settled, I'm a bit less inclined to keep tuning in - there could have been a lot of drama surrounding the Stephanie-Kim power struggle, but it doesn't look that way now. 

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Instant Mom "Distant Mom" (S01E20): Kim took the kids on a two-week vacation to Mozambique, where she is offered a year-long position. [I would have liked to hear more about what the kids did during their time there!] She plans to move in two weeks and take the kids with her, though none want to go. [calling up the new job in Mozambique to pretend to quit made no sense!] Charlie and Stephanie were looking forward to becoming weekend parents once more, but the thought of not having the kids for an extended period distresses them greatly. [yeah!] Charlie starts recording all the little things that the kids do, and Stephanie throws herself into a new job so she won't get bored. But, the videos just make Charlie miss the kids before they've left, and when Stephanie alienates the local Philadelphia clowns, she has to dress as one herself for a party, forcing her to miss the kids' send-off. This leads to Stephanie running through the airport to catch the kids, getting thrown into a security hold... where the kids are also, because they stuffed their mother's bag with large knives. [holy cow!] The truth comes out, and Kim feels bad asking Stephanie to take the kids for another year, but everyone would prefer that scenario, so it's the new plan.

Instant Mom: Is Gabby a "Good Kid" ??

One thing that bothers me about Instant Mom is the lack of press material available. The official site only ever had photos of the first few episodes, and even the facebook page doesn't have a great selection. The image below is clearly from a rehearsal, for crying aloud!

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Rant aside, this was a decently funny episode, with Stephanie remembering her own teenage years and seeing them in Gabby, despite the two not having a lot in common. I had a similar problem growing up - my mom was convinced that I (and my sister) was a bad kid who was out doing drugs and having sex, when I was going to Bible studies and playing board games at parties. On the converse, my husband is convinced that our potential future children won't be good kids like we were, and already doesn't trust them in various situations. I guess everyone has their own paranoid thoughts in one way or another... 

Instant Mom "Buy Any Jeans Necessary" (S01E19): James has started selling unopened gifts that Charlie and Stephanie received for their wedding, and enlists Aaron to help. Gabby finds out and blackmails James for $200 because Stephanie won't buy her jeans that expensive. [if Stephanie was trying to teach Gabby about bargain shopping, why were they even in a store that sells apparel that excessive?] But, the security tag is still on the pants, and Gabby destroyed the receipt so she wouldn't get into trouble. So, when she brings them back to the mall to have the tag removed, she's busted for shoplifting. [seriously? those cameras aren't real?? isn't that how DJ and Stephanie got caught on Full House?]

Charlie believes that Gabby didn't steal the jeans, but Stephanie doesn't. [who would have guessed that Stephanie was a real wild child??] When asked where she got the money, Gabby says a friend loaned it to her, so Stephanie grills the friend. [omg!] James then comes clean because he's feeling guilty, but neither Stephanie nor Charlie believe his story. [ha!] In the end, Stephanie sells the pants online, and Gabby just re-buys them! [what sort of resolution was that??]

RETURNING: Instant Mom: A Concert, Cleaning, and a Pet

Well, let's start by saying that my age is showing... I have never heard of Cody Simpson before, and was completely lost as to how badly anyone would want to go to his concert. In fact, the last time I was that lost about a musician on television, I think it was Stephanie fawning over Tommy Page on Full House! On another note, a great way to have a pet-friendly episode and not have to continue writing in rabbits, snakes, and mice is to have them all die and run away at the same time... interesting way to go! I did like that they weren't the standard cats, dogs, and hamsters, though, as I had the weirdo pets growing up, too - it was turtles, birds, and lizards for my family! Lastly, I feel like a lot of shows tried to do the kids-on-strike storyline in the late 80s/early 90s (when family shows were all the rage), but it's been a while, so it was interesting to see how it would play out now. Except, really, the additions of modern technology and changing priorities didn't really factor in, and I kinda liked that. Which of the latest three episodes of Instant Mom did you enjoy most?

Instant Mom "A Kid's Choice" (S01E16): The kids all make music videos to win tickets to a Cody Simpson concert, and it's Aaron who winds up winning! [but we don't see his video! :(] Stephanie thought that James and Gabby's videos were terrible, so she had already talked Charlie into letting whoever wins choose their company - adult or not. Aaron is game to take whichever sibling knows him better, but neither of them (nor Stephanie and Charlie) manages to get a single question correct. [loved that Garfield question!] Aaron doesn't know what he should do, but when Cody hears about it, he brings extra tickets for the whole family! [oh. like when the Beach Boys helped out Stephanie in the same dilemma on Full House.] BUT, when Cody delivers them, he accidentally falls for one of James' pranks on Gabby, and he helps the kids cover it up so they'll still be allowed to go to the concert. So, despite being glued to a chair, Cody manages to keep Charlie and Stephanie from knowing what's going on, even if it means that he gets carried out of the house! [the stolen chair kinda gave something away, though!] 

Instant Mom "Chore Money, Chore Problems" (S01E17): The kids take advantage of their weekly cleaning service, so Stephanie fires the maid and tries to get the kids to help out some more. [haha, I remember the first time my parents tried to crack down and get us to help clean the house. it failed because we were smart asses. we only had to "clean on the commercials," so we watched nothing but PBS. :-P] The kids decide to revolt unless they get paid, but Stephanie and Charlie decide to re-hire the cleaning service anyway. But, when the kids start talking back, the ante gets upped, and Charlie re-cancels the cleaning service, and the kids wind up sleeping in the backyard. [we couldn't do that - coyotes and all.] Furthermore, Charlie insists the kids can't wear clothes that he purchased, so the kids have to wear grandparents' gifts to school... and the humiliation breaks Gabby. TMNT breaks Aaron, but James maintains his stance, even after Charlie hires another kid to play James. It's Stephanie hiring a clown that brings James and Charlie back together. [Maggie was strangely absent.]  

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Instant Mom "Requiem for Mr. Floppity" (S01E18): Aaron watches his class rabbit for the weekend, but it dies when it pops a balloon. [why would Stephanie have it playing with a balloon anyway?] The teacher just replaces it, but Stephanie takes the opportunity to explain death to Aaron, so he's freaked out on Monday at school when the rabbit "returns because it missed the class." [wow that's a rough situation! and the "zombie rabbit" theory wasn't any better!] But, Stephanie insists on a funeral, even though they can't find the original rabbit's body and she has to stuff a plush rabbit with rocks. Of course, the room of eight-year-olds catches her, confusing them even more.

Even having the rabbit around for a few minutes reignites Gabby's desire for a pet, and Charlie lets her get a mouse. Of course, James decides to trade a friend a comic book for a snake, which spells out nothing but trouble for both the rabbit and the mouse!  

Instant Mom: Kids on Valentine's Day

When it comes to comedies, I think that children have the best Valentine's Day storylines. Remember the sweater DJ got on Full House that led Stephanie to shoplift? What about when The Brady Bunch's Greg tries to help Peter get the girl, but the girl thinks Greg is crushing on her? With those only being the tip of the iceberg, Instant Mom came through with funny plotlines for James, and especially Aaron. Having him now be dating his bully was precious, and learning that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in the Hoover family was even better. Gabby's flashes on the screen fell flat, Maggie might as well have been absent from the episode, and the vows situation was a bit horrific, so it was nice to have cute kids experiencing first love for Valentine's.

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Instant Mom "True Romance" (S01E13): It's Valentine's Day, and Gabby protests not being able to date by dressing all in black. [I didn't realize this was set in Philly, but that's what the newspaper suggests!] Later, she gets invited on a group date to the movies, so it all works out. [though her dress was hideous!]

Charlie forgot about the holiday and rushes off to the jewelry store while Stephanie prepares a nice dinner and plans to watch their wedding video together. [they haven't seen it yet?? did they just receive it in the mail??] However, when Maggie comes over and wants to preview it, they learn that it's the DVD of his first wedding, and Charlie used the same vows! [jaw drop!] He claims that he lost the vows he wrote for Stephanie, and had to come up with something on the spot, and knew these ones because his ex-wife used to make him watch the video annually. [haha!] She asks him for new vows, but he just memorizes something from the internet, upsetting her further. [sidenote, she was a Tri-Delt.] The couple start listing complaints about one another,but wind up realizing that they're deeply in love. [this was pretty realistic.]

James gets a mystery card from Dana, a girl he likes, but bitter Gabby tries to scare him by making it look like he's being stalked. [that was kinda awful of her, really.] Eventually she succeeds in freaking him out, but when Dana comes over, all is resolved promptly. He even gets kissed, so all is well with the world. Aaron, on the other hand, gave all of Stephanie's jewelry to give to Sam, who passed it on to her grandmother. [wearing every piece at the same time was too on-the-nose for me.] Stephanie goes to collect it back, and gets multiple sob stories from the woman, but Aaron convinces Sam to make her grandmother return it. [so the kid even bosses around her family? figures.] 

Instant Mom: Bribery all Around

I've always been in awe of people who hire a caterer for any event hosting fewer than twenty people - something that happened on more than one occasion on Frasier. I'm glad that Stephanie attempted to do everything she could on her own, and it probably would have worked if other people hadn't meddled in her plans. It was also nice to have the focus on the adults and their adult problems, rather than on the kids, which is typical for this show. That said, I was a bit taken aback by the amount of bribery going on... if there had been a chance, I'm sure someone would have just slipped Charlie's boss the moolah to lock him in for the promotion, though it would take more than forty bucks! I'm not sure if Maggie demanding extra or the kids getting any money at all bothers me more...

Instant Mom "Dine Hard" (S01E12): James keeps taking Gabby's things, including some energy drinks she wasn't supposed to have in the first place. [he takes a TON of stuff! I've never seen anything like it!] He's been hiding her possessions around the house for years, but it's an issue Stephanie doesn't have time to deal with at the moment because Charlie has invited his boss over for dinner. He had initially hired a caterer, but Stephanie gets a cooking app and sets out to do it all, including bribe the older children to stay upstairs all evening. [I thought it was funny that Stephanie knew James would ask for $20. also, if that app could handle giving you steps for a whole meal and telling you when to take out the butter to soften, I could've used it for Thanksgiving!] Maggie brings over a back-up dinner of chicken marsala, which Charlie secretly requested, and then while Stephanie and Charlie struggle with extending (and break) the dining room table, Maggie drinks the expensive wine Stephanie was decanting and replaces it with sherry. [gross! as was Maggie needing $40 to stay quiet about what she did to help.] Then, James salts the pate, thinking it's the squab for which the app is calling out directions.

So, when the boss arrives, there are no appetizers, and she starts saying terrible things about Stephanie being the "second wife and mother." [couldn't she see him come to the door and then wait to answer?] Charlie panics and invites the children to join them for dinner, even though there is not enough food. [then give the kids some spaghetti, no?] It gets worse when Aaron consumed one of the energy drinks and is bouncing off the walls, but still goes downhill when the squab is burned because James and Aaron accidentally tossed some of Gabby's stuff into the mix when they were hiding it. [and Charlie didn't even seem to make them apologize!] They eat Maggie's chicken, but the dinner is ruined anyway when the kids start a war while eating creme brulee, as the boss is spilled on multiple times. She insults the kids, forcing Stephanie to stand up to her. By the time the able breaks, the evening had been sufficiently ruined.

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Instant Mom: Snorkeling in the Living Room, Striking a Deal

The dynamics of this family really ring clearly to me. When siblings are forced to spend time together, they're not that interested, but when they're given the chance to come up with a scheme, they're all about it. These two episodes epitomize that idea, and definitely remind me of my own childhood, making me all the more excited to see what else will be in store. They're going to need to re-address where the children's biological mother is again, or at least make them miss her, as she was their primary caretaker until rather recently. Any thoughts on how the writers will handle that? Don't forget, one of the writer's fathers is credited with some of the best Frasier, Becker, Cheers, and M*A*S*H episodes ever written!

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Instant Mom "Staycation" (S01E10): The family is headed on a cruise, leaving Maggie behind to water the plants, as she had no interest in being stuck together in a small area for a period of time. [how random of her!] Stephanie and Maggie never had a family vacation, so Stephanie has high hopes for this one. But, Gabby isn't interested in fun in the sun because she'd rather go skiing with a friend's family. [sounds like a typical teenager totally believable.] When the airport closes because of the storm, the taxi had already arrived, so the driver stays with the family when the roads close. [I found that hard to believe. he couldn't have gotten anywhere more appropriate?] Stephanie decides to create a staycation, but Charlie soon hurts his back and struggles to hide it from the family. The boys dress up to go snorkeling with fish hanging from the ceiling, then there's a family limbo contest, but that forces Charlie to admit to his back problems. [haha at Charlie saying he couldn't pick up the boys for a mock-swim because they ate less than half an hour earlier!]

Karaoke is next, but the power goes out, so they set up a tent in the living room and gather around the fireplace and continue to try finding something to do together. [awww.] But, nobody wants to play charades or tell stories, until the cabbie convinces Maggie that family matters. Apparently, he has been apart from his family in Moldova for six years, and that makes Gabby realize that she loves her family. She apologizes to Stephanie, and the family tries storytime for a hot minute... until the power returns! [I kinda they didn't turn the power on.]

Instant Mom "Babysit This" (S01E11): Charlie is asked to give a lecture on surgeons and the "God complex," but that means they'll need a babysitter, because the kids can't be left together alone. [James staining Stephanie's "cuddly" (snuggie) was more weird than funny.] James wants to impress the new babysitter with cookies, while Gabby decides to act like James is a monster so that she'll scare her off and have to babysit. [though we all know that she'll get grounded when Charlie calls the agency to find out what happened!] Stephanie doesn't want to miss the event, so she lets Gabby watch the others, which upsets Charlie. [just how bad did he think things were gonna get? glue isn't the end of the world.] Back at home, James and Gabby butt heads and start texting both Charlie and Stephanie, distracting the doctor during his speech. [The elderly couple at the banquet table made me laugh, though they did have annoying moments.] Stephanie then brings up their issues during the Q&A of the speech, while the kids realize that they can just split the money and get along. [haha!]

Instant Mom: Christmas with Grandpa

This episode is not a great one to showcase the family aspect of the series. At Christmas, sure there are Scrooges, but to depict an estranged grandfather as a miser who dominates women sends the wrong message. Maggie has been seen as a strong and independent woman since the pilot, so seeing her cower under the presence of her ex-husband was sad. The greed of the children is a typical holiday television theme, but they don't really ever learn anything about how it's wrong, which was a missed opportunity in my opinion. Franklin may not be absent forever, but the comedy is certainly not bringing him back anytime soon! Let's hope that the new year will find this show returning to pleasant and family-friendly storylines!

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Instant Mom "The Gift of the Maggies" (S01E09): Stephanie can't seem to get a hot toy for Aaron, but Maggie handles it. [the 12 desserts of Christmas?] Stephanie invites her father for Christmas, deeply bothering Maggie. [haha, "who art in heaven!"] James is excited for extra presents from an extra grandparent, but Franklin's gifts are nickels, which mean nothing to the youngster. Maggie tries to avoid her ex, though when she does see him, she gets excited and they begin to reconnect. [Charlie worrying that he is old when Franklin is only a few years older than him was a weak plotline that could have been dropped.] Before long, Franklin proposes to Maggie, she accepts, and Stephanie is worried that it's her fault. She is determined to break them up so her mother stops acting like a doormat. Stephanie decides to prey on Franklin's love for bargains and sets him up to sell the hot toy to pay for a trip to Vegas to marry Maggie. Maggie can't believe that he would deprive one of the grandkids, so she stands up to him. [nice that Stephanie has these alleged friends to help in these tricks!]

In a second storyline, Gabby got a sound effects box from a class secret Santa, but it turns out to be from a guy who likes her. He had called the house for ideas, but James was only thinking of himself when he said to get her the box instead of a necklace. [why would anyone trust a sibling, LoL??]

Instant Mom: Crowd-Sourcing Advice

Stephanie: "I know a lot of what I'm doing is unorthodox."
Maggie: "Is that the new word for stupid?"

This show has been interesting to watch, partly because seeing Tia as a parent is just so strange to me (despite the fact that I have seen several episodes of the reality show she shares with her sister), and partly because the scenarios, while humorous, are just a tad too unrealistic. Or, maybe I'm just out-of-touch with today's youth, though let's hope that's not the case. Regardless, the reiteration of the kids' mom being out-of-town to care for a relative is certainly foreshadowing some sort of major upheaval - how long could she realistically be gone that the kids would be with Charlie and Stephanie full-time? I guess we'll find out, as the series has been renewed for a second season, and the first has already been extended twice!

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Instant Mom "In Blog We Trust" (S01E08): There's a formal mother-daughter tea coming up, and Gabby invites Stephanie because her biological mother is still away. Stephanie gets overly excited, as she has been trying to bond more with Charlie's oldest. In fact, she had recently started an anonymous parenting blog to ask for advice on raising the kids. [punishments for spit-takes? I would've laughed and told the kids to take it outside, LoL.] However, James soon finds it, and begins acting as 38 different parents, giving advice to fit what he and Aaron want. ["How Not to Be an Evil Stepmother" wasn't taken??] Before long, Gabby catches on to James' activities, and gets upset that Stephanie crowd-sourced leg-shaving information. [Gabby thinking that blogging about the family is the same as talking about them behind their backs was an interesting perspective...] Gabby asks Maggie to take her to the tea instead, crushing Stephanie. But, Stephanoe and Charlie figure out that the boys created fake accounts, and Stephanie pretends the "Federal Internet Agency" is after them. [cute basketball desk chair.] They believe that she can cut them a deal so they don't go to jail, but they have to clean the house. [terrible that neither parent would get out of bed to tell the kids to go to sleep!]

Instant Mom: Stephanie and James at the Dance

Gabby not being included in the main plot of this episode was fine by me, as the teen has gotten some great storylines on this series so far (and is arguably the main character). But, having her video chats with a friend on an African safari, then leave the phone around so her friend unintentionally eavesdrops on the family was a bit odd. I understand that maybe that actually happens in this day and age, but it was weird and didn't add anything to the comedy. Similarly, James having never talked to the girl with whom he was "going to the dance" was a bit odd to me - folks with preteens, is that the standard these days??

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Instant Mom "Dances with She-Wolves" (S01E07): Stephanie gets home from Aaron's soccer game and is upset that the other mothers don't include her, but she's determined to make mom-friends, so she puts together some idea for James' 6th grade dance planning committee. [dang! we had 4 middle school dances each year, none with themes!] Stephanie tries pretty hard, but the four other moms have been planning all of the events since their kids were in kindergarten. [but maybe not? later it is revealed that one of the moms moved to town later?] Stephanie tries to pitch some ideas, and the women take them as their own. [omg horrible!] She's eventually told that her ideas aren't wanted, so she quits. But, when James is looking forward to her cool twist on it, she has to go crawling back. [awww. James bragging to his friends that his stepmom is "dope" was adorable.] She's still not very welcome, and is made parking lot monitor, so she cries to Maggie. [wow. the last time I cried to my mom I was 22 and my first car had just gotten totaled. I can't imagine whining about stuff at this stage in life!]

James is worried that Dana won't go with him to the dance, so he asks his dad for help in asking her out. He winds up doing it over text, so then he's worried about actually talking to her at the dance. [how did he have her number to text if he has never spoken to her??] At the dance, Stephanie brings in a chocolate fountain, which gets the boys and girls mingling, impressing some of the moms. She's just starting to get along with them when Maggie shows up and yells at the girls to include Stephanie. [this is why you don't tell your mom things, LoL.]

Instant Mom: Stephanie Singing

A couple weeks ago, my husband and I were at the liquor store to pick up a couple bottles of wine for a housewarming dinner. He was in front of me, so it appeared that he was going to pay, only he went to look at a display and I pulled out my wallet instead. The cashier said, "oh, you're paying? I need to see your ID." To me, this said that I looked young enough to have to card, but my husband didn't, despite the fact that he's only five weeks older than I am. It was an interesting moment, as we usually either both get carded or neither of us does. Therefore, I was thoroughly amused at Stephanie's reaction when the person in front of her gets carded but she does not. Regardless, this was a pretty enjoyable episode, with James' trickery being the primary laugh force, am I right?

Instant Mom "Rock Mom" (S01E06): When Stephanie doesn't get carded at a club, she makes a scene, afraid that she looks over 30. Gabby wants to audition for a local band and asks Stephanie for help preparing.

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But, Gabby thinks Stephanie's style and dance moves are outdated. [um, they were. especially if Stephanie regularly hits the clubs.] When they get to the audition, the band hears Stephanie helping Gabby and decide to hire the almost-30-year-old, who is shocked to sing in a band of college kids. Gabby and Maggie are both jealous, but when Stephanie gets to the first gig, the band wants her to dress like an old lady, so she quits... but only momentarily. [it was completely outrageous how jealous Stephanie's mother and stepdaughter were, as well as how Stephanie instantly became so as well when someone else will fill in for her.]

The boys talk to a friend who gets money from his grandmother, so they can figure out ways to milk Maggie for cash. [haha!] Maggie catches on and starts getting the boys to do things for her, everything from give her a massage to fold her laundry. After they pumice her feet, they get $50, and that's about the end of their service to her.

Instant Mom: The Gabby Show

So, while Instant Mom isn't a bad show, it's definitely really only about Stephanie butting heads with her mother and husband over how to raise young teen Gabby. Of the now-five episodes, there's only been one where Gabby's behavior wasn't a main aspect of the storyline. The other kids are neglected, and the relationship between Charlie and Stephanie also falls to the side to feature her constantly. She's a believable actress, but teens aren't the only children who can be difficult to parent. Besides, I'm over the idea that none of the kids defy Stephanie at all.

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Instant Mom "Not a Date" (S01E05): Gabby cozies up to Charlie, hoping that she'll be allowed to date before she turns 16. When he won't budge, she turns to Stephanie, who  would sign up for charity work with boys she liked when she couldn't date. [Stephanie really doesn't know when to shut up.] Stephanie tries to talk to Charlie about letting Gabby group-date, as long as there are 6+ kids, an even number of boys and girls, and a curfew of 9:30pm, but when she learns that Gabby pulled her same trick, she almost pulls back. [I don't understand why Stephanie keeps confiding in Maggie, either.] Stephanie tells Gabby to stay quiet about it all, but Owen shows up at the house. He cries for Gabby, who isn't interested after she sees him with another girl. [omg eighth grade drama. I remember that junk and am glad I only had to live through it once!] Gabby gets James to tell Owen things about her to scare him off, but he's only more infatuated. [weirdo!] Stephanie tells Gabby to handle it herself, but when she isn't ready, she runs out of time and Charlie catches her. [I'll admit that it's not easy to break up with boys, especially on the spot, but when the kid is in your house and it's threatening your future social life, you do it!] She now has to volunteer at the hospital after school.

While this is going on, James convinces Aaron to give him his toy bow, as he has already stolen the arrows. [haha, hiding them in his sleep!] He then trades them back for a stuffed ninja turtle, and trades that back for the whole room they share. [how would ANYONE fall for that??] Aaron moves to the closet, but James is immediately bored without his brother. [boring. they could have milked this a little more, I think.]

Instant Mom: Overcoming Bullies

When I was about to start ninth grade, my mom's boss's daughter (her name was Stephanie, actually) came over because she wanted to try out for cheerleading and our neighbor had done gymnastics in her youth. I remember watching the two work on various moves and chants. Stephanie didn't make the cheerleading squad, and she wound up finishing at a different high school, so I have no idea whatever happened to her. With Gabby, though, I don't really think that cheerleading is her thing, as much as Maggie wants it to be. But, as piano wasn't her thing, either, I'm sure she'll come up with a hobby that sticks before long.

Instant Mom "Forty-Two Inches of Pure Evil" (S01E04): Gabby is trying out for cheerleadering, and Maggie is excited to help her. James crushes on one of his sister's friends, and even asks his dad how much dating costs. [haha.] The girls wind up quitting cheerleading because of all the work it entails, but James considers doing it to be closer to the ladies. [hehe, that's like the girls who join marching band purely to be near-ish to the football players. was that too dated?]

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Aaron having special handshakes with everyone but Stephanie bothers her, so she decides to volunteer in Aaron's class to help with a bully and get closer to him. [what was that weird dragon card game, and why was wagering involved??] Except, she tells Aaron to use his humor... so he starts doing "you're so ugly..." jokes, getting Stephanie in trouble. [haha, when I was a kid, it was "yo' mama so ugly..." jokes.] The girl then cons Stephanie and then gets her banned from the campus for a year, before making Aaron her boyfriend. [what a little cheat!]

Instant Mom: Keyboard, Harp, and Drums

There was less Grandma Maggie in this episode, which was definitely a plus. Charlie also didn't have a large role, really allowing Stephanie and the kids to illustrate their relationships. James definitely stands out as a character (and Tylen Jacob Williams as an actor), and has certainly become an early favorite. Aaron reminds me of Michelle Tanner on the midyears of Full House... doesn't say too much but gets humorous lines straight out of the mouths of babes. Gabby being written as a real teen continues to make this series feel more real than others on television, and although the family comedy is not at the top of the list for my favorite new shows this fall, I hope the subsequent episodes continue to make this cable show shine.

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Instant Mom "Harp & Soul" (S01E03): Singer Stephanie is concerned that James is only good at Guitar Hero, not playing an actual guitar, so she convinces Charlie to get the kids playing instruments: Aaron chooses drums, Gabby picks keyboard, and James goes with the harp. [I knew a girl who played the harp growing up. It sure sounded beautiful, but she had to drive like 2 hours each way for her weekly lessons!] James figures that Stephanie won't be able to get one and he'll get out of it. [ha!] Then, when she procures a catalog, he goes with a $24,000 one. Stephanie buys a small practice harp, and James practices strumming to build calluses before his real lessons begin. [this brings me back to my violin callus days... ouch!] He gets one lesson but is beyond bored... but, he's decent at the harmonica! Aaron is tired of the drums after one session. [just like a six-year-old, LoL.]

Gabby allegedly practices every afternoon, but it turns out that she just turns they keyboard on auto-play and reads magazines. [piano without a teacher?? also, who believes that she was banging out "The Entertainer" and "Fur Elise" after just a week??] She is discovered when an emergency organist is needed at church, and James removes the memory card from her keyboard that has "Amazing Grace" programmed. Stephanie is actually more embarrassed because the song was to accompany her solo, which Maggie has been hassling her about all week. Gabby apologizes but also demands an apology from Stephanie for forcing her to play an instrument in the first place. [and that's the end of that!]

Instant Mom: Honesty is the Best Policy

Stephanie's point to Charlie that you lie to kids about things like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy has always been a valid one. I've heard more than one person talk about how they won't be encouraging those images in their families because of fear that their children will then believe Jesus was fictional as well. However, lies quickly get out of hand, seen as both Stephanie and James have to keep adding to their stories in this episode. That, combined with the mature undertones in Charlie and Stephanie's discussion, really point out how not-for-kids this series is. And it's not even as if they let it go over the kids' heads... the children discuss what THEY think it meant! Not a dealbreaker, but definitely not a tick in the "pro" column, either.

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Instant Mom "The Lying Game" (S01E02): It's Grandma Maggie's birthday, and she spent the night at the family's house, even waking up early to make pancakes. [I don't really understand WHY she spends so much time over there... is she lonely?] Aaron gives her a "turtle" rock, for her "collection," James gets her a life alert pendant on a chain, Gabby gets her a mani/pedi gift certificate from a cheap salon, and Stephanie and Charlie give her a tablet. [the kids had to spend their own money on gifts for their step-grandmother??] The tablet was so Maggie would stay busy at her own house, but as she doesn't have WiFi, she still spends quite a bit of time over there instead. [if they're already struggling to figure out how to keep her in the picture, that's a bad sign.] 

Stephanie is supposed to help Aaron's school with a roadside clean-up project, but when she feels over-run with parenting duties, Maggie tells her to just lie to Aaron and get out of it. [Maggie is kind of a terrible person, apparently.] She doesn't want to, but decides to pretend that she lost the house keys and can't leave because she can't lock the door. [MAGGIE IS THERE! Why didn't Aaron just ask Maggie to stay until they return??] She then lies to Gabby about a burned hand to get out of making a sandwich. When she lies to a solicitor, James catches her, so she has to tell him that lying is sometimes an act of kindness to get people through the day. [this is one of those "does this dress make my butt look big?" lies, and it's annoying.] He then lies at school about why he didn't do his homework, and when it's an outrageous stretch of the truth, he not only gets a lunch detention but Charlie and Stephanie are called to the school. James had ratted out Stephanie's rationalization about lying, so Charlie has a conversation with the family about being honest. Of course, Stephanie calls him out on dating lies, and the situation isn't actually fully resolved. [that WAS low of Stephanie. she really should have saved that for a private conversation.] 

NEW SHOW: Instant Mom: Stephanie Tries to be Cool

Take Trophy Wife but rather than two ex-wives with their own children, there's just one ex-wife with children. Then, change the husband from a lawyer to a doctor, swap out a BFF for a mother, and make everyone African-American. Instant Mom, otherwise, is very similar to the aforementioned comedy, with a twentysomething stepping in to help raise three kids - two sons and a daughter. Stephanie, like Kate, wants to be able to handle parenting, but starting with the 6-15-year-old crowd isn't easy. Both Kate and Stephanie try too hard to be a friend at first, and accidentally pass on ideas that young minds don't need to hear. Still, some major differences are there - Stephanie is going to have the kids on a much more regular basis than Kate, and Charlie's kids seem much more friendly to Stephanie than Pete's are to Kate. I also found the humor in this show a whole lot better, but time will tell on that one.

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Instant Mom "Pilot" (S01E01): Stephanie is excited that she only has to parent kids on the weekends, but when their grandmother breaks her hip, the kids have to stay with them for the foreseeable future. Fortunately, she has her mother to turn to for help, especially as Stephanie can't really cook, despite being a food blogger. ["Grandma Maggie" prefers to go by "Lola" to sound younger, haha!] Still, Stephanie goes from having a girls' night at a Drake concert to staying home to give fashion advice and have marshmallow gun fights. [it could be worse!] However, Stephanie agrees to let Gabby (a freshman) wear one of her dresses to a party on a school night, but Lola disagrees with the outfit and Charlie doesn't agree with parties on school nights. [I wouldn't agree with that outfit, either! and I loved Charlie's point that "who has parties on a Tuesday night? someone whose parents don't know about it."] So, Stephanie has to be the bad guy and take back her agreement. That night, Aaron, the youngest, gets sick from eating too many marshmallows, and Stephanie has to clean him up when it turns out Charlie can't handle bodily fluids. [not really buying it. not only is he a doctor, but he's been a father for over a decade!] The next day, when Aaron isn't feeling well, Stephanie gets him to drink medicine by teaching the kids to play quarters. [she's lucky that she got away with only playing a single round AND that Aaron was chosen to drink!]

Gabby decides to sneak out, using the old "going to study with a friend" excuse, and Stephanie buys it. [flashback to DJ Tanner sneaking out on Full House!] Younger brother James agrees to cover for $10, but then he realizes he could get even more money by vaguely suggesting Gabby isn't where she says she is and demanding $10 from Stephanie to divulge where the party is. Stephanie drags the other kids along to get her, and has to spray down some teens with water to find out where she is.