Melissa & Joey: Mel's Five-Year Plan

When teenage girls sit around at slumber parties gossiping over boys, things can turn serious and they might start setting goals for themselves regarding when they want to be married and have children. But once a woman is 20, she should probably mature and go with the flow. Sure, Rachel on Friends had a timeline that got skewed when she turned 30 (and then again when she became pregnant), but Mel having one at 35 seems so problematic. Take a look:

Stage 1: get to know each other, 6 months.
Stage 2: talk about moving in, 6 months.
Stage 3: move in together, talk about marriage, get a dog (and name it something funny like Gary or Beans), 12 months.
Stage 4: get married, talk about kids.
Stage 5: Have Mason, Braydon, and little baby Tucker. [those are Melissa Joan Hart's actual children's names, by the way.]

It's not the worst timeline in the world, but Joe was absolutely correct in noting that she might be spending too much time with a guy before they start discussing marriage and children. It might not be first date material, but surely people must discuss what they want out of life within the first couple of months! If your ideals clash, why move forward? Of course, this all seems to exist merely to drive Joe and Mel together, as she recently ended a relationship over differences of opinion on child-rearing. Has it been long enough that Mel and Joe could actually get together and the series wouldn't fall apart? Perhaps another half-season would be safer...

Melissa & Joey "Fast Times" (S03E11): Mel is seeing Noah, a public defender, and thinks that they're a perfect match. [the "expert at getting people off" line was a bit raunchy!] Noah's place floods so he has to stay elsewhere for a week, so Mel offers her place. [Noah is played by Justin Hartley! hello, Emily Owens hottie!] This means that she has to act like she has luxurious breakfasts and doesn't drink coffee to impress the guy, but she can only compromise for so long.

facebook.com/MelissaandJoey

For instance, she can handle his bathmat placement and his disdain for her lotion scene, but not that he doesn't like her sleeping with a bunch of blankets and an open window. [I also like cool air on my face and generally prefer a low temperature with a snuggly comforter, so I can relate.] So, she sleeps in Joe's room instead, keeping in mind that it's only a few days. However, Noah finds out that there is mold in his apartment and he will now be misplaced for a couple months, but Mel lies and says that they're having duct work done the next week so there won't be room for him to stay. [awkward!] Joe tries to bust up the relationship by reading the couple a magazine quiz to see if they're meant to be. They do great, right up until the "are you in love with someone else?" question. She hesitates, but gets away with not answering when Noah admits that he still has feelings for an old girlfriend, ending the relationship. [jaw drop!]

Elsewhere in the house... Lennox is an unpaid intern for the Toledo Blade, but the hours are 6-8am and she can't force herself to get up at 4:30am. She's five minutes late her first day and gets a warning. [what's with that coat with tails??] The next day, she keeps hitting snooze, and Joe and Ryder purposely let her sleep, resulting in her losing the position. She blames them for not waking her, and Joe even calls her boss to try helping out, but no dice. [if she was really that excited about the internship, she could have handled the time. just saying.]