Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Secret Life: The Secret Lives of Pimps

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

WOW. I didn't like where the show was going with depicting a "pimp," but I certainly didn't expect Jack to wind up in the hospital with severe injuries because of the storyline! I'm not sure what this is going to mean for the future of this series, but I have a feeling that he'll pull through. I can only imagine the crazy amount of drama that Grace would create if he didn't! However, it's possible that, with all of the newer characters, the show needs to start writing off a few... and Jack ain't a bad place to start. Ben going to New York for school could ditch him, though he'd definitely be around now that he's about to have a foster sister. Ashley is pretty much gone for good, Dylan and her cohort are on the verge of extinction, and you never hear from Grant or Griffin (or half of the adults!) anymore. Problematically, we're being conditioned to hate Amy (and Adrian, to a certain extent), and I don't think we'll be ditching her. Who else do you think might be on the chopping block (or who would you LIKE to see on the chopping block!)?

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "Property Not for Sale" (S05E09): Kathy and Ethan meet Jonathan and Sonya (the folks who will be adopting Kathy's baby), and Ethan starts out pretty rude. Kathy texts Amy to get Ethan out of there, and Amy pawns off the task on Ricky. [of course she did.] Ricky is irate at Ethan, saying he doesn't know when to shut up. [hahaha, back "the freak off" was so fake! and I'm surprised that we don't go back to the fact that Ricky pretty much said that if he had to do it over again, he wouldn't...] Because of how long this all takes, Ricky stays up all night at the library to work on a paper, which angers Amy. Amy is even more upset when she learns that Ricky stopped at the coffeeshop. [girl needs to relax!] 

After this, Kathy is no longer talking to Ethan, and Margaret lectures Ethan on leaving the house without permission (he's not allowed to see Kathy now) and for ruining the nights of quite a few people. [seriously! he made a wreck of things!] She also takes away his phone. At school, Kathy goes to Ethan, calls him a jerk, then holds his hand as they walk down the halls. [teenagers!]

A creep at the bookstore bothers Adrian, and she goes to the coffeeshop so she isn't alone - Clementine identifies him as a pimp who works deals on campus. Adrian tells Omar, who is shocked at how naive she is. [um. is this a newer thing? because I'm fairly positive that, ten years ago when I was in college, we didn't have this problem at my large state university...] The creep also stops by Jack's room in the athletic residence hall, inviting him to a party. But, when the quarterback declines, the punk sends a girl to Jack's room, and she needs $50 to end her night. She explains how pimps beat you if you don't meet your quota, and he's in the process of shelling out everything he has when the police enter. The story makes the front page of the paper, but Jack is portrayed as a savior and the girl is returned to her parents, thought some football players got suspended for being caught "doing business." 
Henry tells Ben that he knows about him and Alice, and Dylan fins out, too. Ben goes to Alice to ask why she told Henry, and admits to her that he'd leave Dylan in a second for Amy. [noooo..... GET.OVER.HER!!!] Ben apologizes to Alice for taking advantage of her, then decides that he will go after Dylan alongside Henry (even though her parents won't allow her to see Ben). [how did Ben know Alice was in the restroom?] Ben then tells Amy that he needs to get over her.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "Regrets" (S05E10): Now that Kathy broke up with Ethan, her two "friends" are after him. They lie to her and say that he isn't interested in her. but he calls her later and asks to talk to the adoptive parents again. [um, any way we can add Ethan to that chopping block??] Yet, that's not the only drama at school...  Wendy's dad pulled her out of school and doesn't want her hanging out with Dylan & Co. anymore. The rest of the girls worry that their parents will move them to all-girls' schools, too. [this is a pretty basic and boring plot point...]

Henry tells Ben that he was only dating Dylan to get back at Ben for sleeping with Alice. Ben got accepted to Hudson University in New York, but he'd rather go where Amy goes. But, lo and behold, Amy is also accepted to Hudson, which is a letter Ricky can't wait to open. [why was he so obsessed with not waiting mere hours??] Amy admits to Anne that she'd like to go to school there, but it's not in the cards. [though it would "off" her for the most part...] She's pissed that Ricky opened her mail, and he's pissed when Ben calls to share his own acceptance news. [sensible.]

Anne starts planning Amy and Ricky's wedding, with seven tables of seven people, planning for both she and George to bring dates. [whether the fact about the table arrangement will matter in the future, I'm not sure.] She's upset, though, that Mimzy is emailing and texting and tweeting about Anne's sexuality. [um, yeah!] A bunch of women show up at Anne's for an AA meeting, and Nora's sponsor flirts with Anne. [I know it's hard to meet people and all, but doesn't that hit a little close to home?] And, speaking of homes, Omar is moving into Adrian's condo, but he's planning to keep his apartment for a while, just-in-case. She doesn't like that idea, but he says that he wants a commitment from her if she's serious. They realize that they've been dating for five months now, which is longer than she was married to Ben. [ha!]

Leo and Camille get married with Nora and Ben as witnesses. But, when Leo is at school waiting for Katelyn to get Ben from class, he learns (through Kathy) that everyone at school knows Ben as a kid with a crazy obsession over an old girlfriend. Ben drags Henry and Alice out of class to attend as well. [um, how did they get to leave early?] We don't see the actual ceremony, but Ben presents the couple with a pizza before they head off for a night alone. Ben and Camille make up, but Leo and Camille keep it a secret that they're "expecting a daughter." [I didn't know what to make of this at first, but just hold on!]

The episode ends as the pimp comes into Jack's room, locks the door, and wields a baseball bat. [I'm so over Jack being compared to Tim Tebow!]

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "Half Over" (S05E11) [Mid-Season Finale]: Jack was badly beaten and is in surgery, and Kathleen takes Grace to the hospital, with George and Tom following. Tom had Tammy spend the night in secret, and George tells him that if he's sneaking around, something isn't right. [I don't really like George being the "man" in Tom's life, but I don't have a better role model for him...] George sees David (remember him from a million years ago?) with two little girls, going to greet "grandma." [now what in the world was the point of re-introducing him??] Tom calls Betty, who knows the pimp but is afraid to say anything. [oh, yeah. Betty. this could be the end of her, though she hasn't been that annoying lately.] Adrian misses Mercy and reveals to Omar that she wants to both birth and adopt more children, and he draws an engagement ring with a marker. [... yeah, we'll need a miracle at this rate to ditch her!] Ben, on the other hand, isn't thinking about Mercy, his daughter... he's probably thinking about mercy, the sentiment, as Ricky threatens that he better leave the Underwoods alone. Just so I'm not leaving you hanging, the only other hospital scene occurs at the end of the episode, with Jack's parents coming into the waiting room and asking everyone to pray. [hypothesize at your own risk!]

Ethan is desperate for Ben's mentorship, but Ben still isn't interested. [how did Ethan get to school that early? I can't believe that Margaret would drop him off that far in advance...] Kathy wants the adoptive parents to be in the delivery room, but Ethan isn't a big fan of that idea. [though it's none of his business!] Kahy isn't sure if her parents will want to be in the room, but she'll be reunited with them soon enough, as she's planning to move back after she gives birth [that Ethan is getting possessive here! though he did seem sad to realize she'd be leaving before too long.] 

Amy and Ricky are having issues with lying to one another. [who did Ricky call with that weird message? George??] Amy tells Ben to leave her alone, and he tells her that he looked up marriage records online and knows that she's not really married. [yay! the truth will hopefully start to see the light soon!] He also tells her that he'll attend the second wedding but will be in the back of the church, there to catch her if she decides to run away. [oh geez. plant that foreshadowing...] It makes Amy want to get married immediately, but Ricky doesn't think it's a good idea. [you know, because it's not. also, how many people are now applying to college in the Spring semester of their Junior year instead of the Fall semester of their Senior year? is that a thing now?]

Now, the smaller stories... Willadeen, Nora's AA sponsor, slept over with Anne and they make plans to see one another again. Nora tells Anne a little of her sponsor's history, then tells her not to date the woman. [saw that coming!] Dylan and her friends decide to go to an all-girls' school together and she tells Ben that he didn't care enough about her. [eh.] Leo and Camille meet their (very grateful) foster daughter, Chloe, who is the girl Jack "saved" from the pimp.
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