NEW SHOW: Instant Mom: Stephanie Tries to be Cool

Take Trophy Wife but rather than two ex-wives with their own children, there's just one ex-wife with children. Then, change the husband from a lawyer to a doctor, swap out a BFF for a mother, and make everyone African-American. Instant Mom, otherwise, is very similar to the aforementioned comedy, with a twentysomething stepping in to help raise three kids - two sons and a daughter. Stephanie, like Kate, wants to be able to handle parenting, but starting with the 6-15-year-old crowd isn't easy. Both Kate and Stephanie try too hard to be a friend at first, and accidentally pass on ideas that young minds don't need to hear. Still, some major differences are there - Stephanie is going to have the kids on a much more regular basis than Kate, and Charlie's kids seem much more friendly to Stephanie than Pete's are to Kate. I also found the humor in this show a whole lot better, but time will tell on that one.

Bonnie Osborne/Nickelodeon©2013 Viacom, International, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Instant Mom "Pilot" (S01E01): Stephanie is excited that she only has to parent kids on the weekends, but when their grandmother breaks her hip, the kids have to stay with them for the foreseeable future. Fortunately, she has her mother to turn to for help, especially as Stephanie can't really cook, despite being a food blogger. ["Grandma Maggie" prefers to go by "Lola" to sound younger, haha!] Still, Stephanie goes from having a girls' night at a Drake concert to staying home to give fashion advice and have marshmallow gun fights. [it could be worse!] However, Stephanie agrees to let Gabby (a freshman) wear one of her dresses to a party on a school night, but Lola disagrees with the outfit and Charlie doesn't agree with parties on school nights. [I wouldn't agree with that outfit, either! and I loved Charlie's point that "who has parties on a Tuesday night? someone whose parents don't know about it."] So, Stephanie has to be the bad guy and take back her agreement. That night, Aaron, the youngest, gets sick from eating too many marshmallows, and Stephanie has to clean him up when it turns out Charlie can't handle bodily fluids. [not really buying it. not only is he a doctor, but he's been a father for over a decade!] The next day, when Aaron isn't feeling well, Stephanie gets him to drink medicine by teaching the kids to play quarters. [she's lucky that she got away with only playing a single round AND that Aaron was chosen to drink!]

Gabby decides to sneak out, using the old "going to study with a friend" excuse, and Stephanie buys it. [flashback to DJ Tanner sneaking out on Full House!] Younger brother James agrees to cover for $10, but then he realizes he could get even more money by vaguely suggesting Gabby isn't where she says she is and demanding $10 from Stephanie to divulge where the party is. Stephanie drags the other kids along to get her, and has to spray down some teens with water to find out where she is.

NEW SHOW: Bob's Burgers: Camping Antics

This one is not a new series, but TheTalkingBox did not cover it during its first three seasons. Thanks to the internet, I'm all caught up on knowing what the Belcher family is all about, and have seen all of their antics to date. The characters are written very well, and this fourth season opener demonstrates that. Louise, albeit the youngest, rules the children, while Linda and Bob realize they have different strengths when it comes to running the family. In this instance, they're all out camping for Tina, but when the plan goes awry, the family members go through different stages of panic and acceptance in order to come together again. I wouldn't say this was the series' best episode or anything, but it does illustrate the dynamics well.

Bob's Burgers "A River Runs Through Bob" (S04E01): While camping, Bob is convinced that everything they need will be available in nature, but the rest of the family is skeptical. [meshuga = crazy in Yiddish, by the way.] Linda asks the neighboring campers (survivalists) for help, and they totally mooch off them. Later that night, after the kids are asleep, Linda and Bob try out a "warm spring," only they wind up being swept away by the river. [I don't understand why Linda didn't just let Bob go to relieve himself!] When they get back on the bank, Bob covers himself in leaves while Linda wears Bob's vest as a short dress, and they begin trekking back to the campsite. [ha! good thing Bob had that vest on!]

FOX

In the morning, when they're not back, the kids steal tubes from the survivalists and head down the river to look for their parents. When they can't find them, they read their stolen survival guide to figure out what they should do - create a shelter and build a fire. The reason they didn't run across the rest of the family is because Bob and Linda realize they followed the wrong river for hours, and try to cross the hypotenuse back to camp. Meanwhile, Louise convinces Tina that an organized group like ThunderGirls are bad, and when they come across another troop, they tease them, and Tina renounces her membership. [that did seem a little out of character, but, of course, Tina isn't set in that opinion anyway...]

The next morning, Linda and Bob argue about which way camp is, so they split up. But, when Bob is in trouble, Linda goes back for him. [awww.] When they finally get back, the survivalists are upset that the Belcher kids stole their things, and try to get Linda and Bob to join their lifestyle. [that didn't really make sense... if you know the family CLEARLY isn't cut out to live on their own, why try to win them over??] Linda tries to get out the bathroom window, and when the kids see her, Tina drops a bee hive into the RV's vent to force the survivalists to let Linda and Bob go. [crazy ending, but I especially enjoyed Gene keeping Tina's ThunderGirls sash because it was satin!]

Food Trucks: Three More Cities!

Overall, this was an exciting season. The Truck Stops were less thrilling than the tricky cooking challenges of the past, but the cities offered different obstacles, and the teams were very diverse. The final two trucks coming down to Indian and Hawaiian specialties was something that I would not have predicted, and I am really curious as to how and where the Aloha Plate guys will set-up their new food truck in the future. With that, The Great Food Truck Race could really use an update on the past teams... I've read about Lime Truck online, but not sure if anyone else is "living the dream" or what they're up to now.

Remaining Trucks:
Aloha Plate, Authentic Hawaiian Cuisine. Brothers Adam and Lanai, plus friend Shawn, are from a remote Hawaiian island and want to share their food. Adam went to culinary school, thanks to a benefactor whose life he saved.

Philly's Finest Sambonis, serving Authentic Philly Cheesesteaks, Philadelphia. Childhood BFFs Erik, Joe, and Chris have come together after Erik had a bad car accident that ruined his career as an electrician.

Tikka Tikka Taco, Indian Street Food, St. Louis. Brothers Mike and Shaun (a veteran) work with their uncle, Sam.

The Great Food Truck Race "Capital Gains" (S04E07): The Speed Bump from the previous episode is still in place, forcing the trucks to have at least five menu items at all times. The Truck Stop happens Sunday morning on Kent Island, where there's a crab challenge. The teams have two hours to go crabbing and cook, but they can't buy any additional ingredients! [that's rough!] The judge will be a culinary specialist for the US Navy, who feeds thousands of people per day. The winner will receive $1500 in their totals, and when Aloha Plate wins, they are able to count that immediately, as one of the teams is booted right then and there. Tikka leads with $9,129, and with the bonus, Aloha has $8,562. If Philly's Finest had won the challenge instead, they would have had enough money to keep playing, but instead their $5,685 total from Chicago and Annapolis sends them home. [figures. that close-to-home field advantage was going to play out well for them!] The two remaining teams move on to Arlington for Sunday night, and on Monday morning, Tyler moves everyone to Washington, DC. There, they have to keep their five menu items but also add a sixth to honor the other team - Tikka must serve a teriyaki burger, and Aloha a chicken tikka taco with yogurt sauce. These dishes are specially priced at $10, and if a team can sell fifty before he calls again, they earn an extra $1,000! Aloha finishes, and the total tallies are counted at the US Capitol Building.

Philly's Finest Sambonis go into Annapolis with half the money the other two teams have, but they call in friends and family to get the word out. [good thing they did!] They want to get into the historic district, but there's a city rule about not parking there, so they stick to the outskirts and have a great day of sales, even running out of food for the first time. With the Truck Stop, they would like to do crabs with gravy (red sauce), but their inventory and time forces them to do crab bruschetta. Unfortunately, there is shell in the crab meat! The Truck Stop loss sends them packing. [one big problem with their business that I haven't addressed before is that there would be no way to compete in Philly, with all of the famous cheesesteak places. they would HAVE to sell elsewhere to be profitable. So, I'm just not sure the guys would continue down this path even if they had won.]
 
Tikka Tikka Taco sets up by a yacht club in Annapolis, and get a huge line. They have a phenomenal day, bringing in over $5,000. For the Truck Stop, they do a grab ceviche with pita bread, which is fresh but needs more sauce. They can't get a huge crowd in Arlington, so they move to the same festival as Aloha. In DC, they head to 6th St NW, and their final tally is $11,774. Not enough to win, but Shaun's buddy who died in the line of duty is acknowledged when the show donates $2500 to the Fallen Patriot Fund. [I don't really understand how this is a consolation, but I'm sure those who knew the soldier were grateful for the recognition.]

Aloha Plate does a stuffed crab over orzo for the Truck Stop, and it has a good flavor, albeit salty. It's enough to win the Truck Stop, though! They got lucky with their spot in Virginia, and use the intersection of K Street and 17th in DC. Their version of the tikka taco does well, and their final total of $14,850 wins them the truck and $50,000! [it would have been neat to see the two teams try the other's version of their dishes!] 

©2013, Television Food Network, G.P. All Rights Reserved

Until next year!

RETURNING: Elementary - London, Baby!

A good start to the season, but lacking in the normal supplemental characters makes it a bit dry. No offense to Watson and Holmes, but the other characters add a needed reality and flavor to the duo's lives. London has spectacular sights, but the New York crime scene has it beat as the premiere setting for the show.

Elementary "Step Nine" (S02E01): Starting off in a London cemetery wacting a grenade-wielding heckler at a funeral, inspector Le Strand seems to have gone crazy. Back in the U.S., Holmes and Watson seem to be in the middle of a case where an organized crime group is murdering judges that has left Holmes tracking their communication method: pigeons. They catch their suspect as Holmes gets a call regarding trouble with Le Strand, and head off to London.

Holmes explains to Watson he and Le Strand's relationship: Holmes solved crimes and Le Strand enjoyed the spotlight for his successes. Watson inquired as to Holmes' frame of mind returning to London to which he replies, "London is always a different city."

In London, they head straight to Scotland Yard to determine Le Strand's issues. Turns out, Le Strand had shown up at the funeral of a woman whom he thought was murdered by her husband, Lawrence Pendry. Holmes and Watson head to 221B, his old place, which has been maintained by an acquaintace called Gieser Bob. Holmes finds all his things gone and replaced with 'nice things.' Holmes' exploration of the 'damage' is interrupted by the appearance of Microft, Holmes' brother.

Turns out, Holmes' father gave 221B to Microft because he owns the building. Apparently, Sherlock had a relationship with Microft's fiancee 5 years earlier because he thought she was after Microft's money. Upset, Holmes leaves Watson to sleep and goes to find Le Strand. He does and attempts to walk him into Scotland Yard. Le Strand convinces Sherlock to work with him to solve the case.

The next day, Watson discovers Holmes never came home and has a discussion about his character with Microft. Watson meets up with Holmes in an abandoned theater and introduces Le Strand. They turn their attention to the case and Holmes notices a bottle of milk out of place in crime scene photos. They devise a plan to get into Pendry's home to investigate by having Le Strand make threats against Pendry in a fake suicide note. Holmes and Watson meet with Pendry at his house and leave with Holmes confident Pendry committed the murder.

Holmes, Watson, and Le Strand meet back in Le Strand's theater hideout. Holmes explains how Pendry used a 3D-printed plastic gun to kill his wife and then dissolved it in a bottle of acetone that ended up looking like milk. The nail used as a firing pin is hanging one of the pieces of art on the wall.

Holmes and Watson head off to track the sales of 3D printers by asking for help from a 'watcher,' Langdale Pike, who watches people via all the cameras in London.

Des Willie/CBS ©2013 CBS Broadcasting, Inc. All Rights Reserved

After receiving a list of people who purchased 3D printers, Holmes heads back to Le Strand to work on the list and Watson to her date with Microft. At dinner, Microft reveals he had been very sick and had received a bone marrow transplant months earlier. He asks how to become Sherlock's friend and regrets the current state of their relationship.

Le Strand and Holmes discover an associate of Pendry's who purchased a 3D printer, but discovers the man is dead. Watson and the police show up and Watson's analysis leads Holmes to search for other clues and solve the case. Turns out, Pendry printed another plastic gun but used a 22LR bullet that caused the gun to explode, leaving gun fragments in the fruit of the dead man's apartment. Holmes asks Le Strand to not take credit for solving the case, but he does anyway.

On the way out of town, Holmes meets Microft in response to an urgent text. Microft reveals he stored all of Holmes' possessions previously in 221B, but proceeds to blow them up. He now claims their relationship is even. Watson and Holmes head out on a train, presumably to the airport.

Last Man Standing: Vanessa and Eve

It comes as no surprise that in the Baxter family, not all of the daughters bond with each parent equally. Like in many households, one gravitates more toward her father while the others seem to favor their mother. Yes, this can lead to hurt feelings, but it really is par for the course, both on television and in real life. On Tim Allen's previous show, Home Improvement, Brad definitely bonded more with Tim, while Mark and Randy both tended to turn to their mother. Over on Boy Meets World, Eric and Cory both had strong relationships with their father, but in different ways - Eric's being more buddy-buddy while Cory's was deeper and more philosophical. The big lesson that the Matthews family takes away from exposing those differences is that family relationships need balance. Bringing that back to the Baxters, Mike and Vanessa just want Eve to be able to get along with both of them, even if it is in different ways. Mike pointing out how Vanessa talks about her work in a boring way when it can actually be exciting at times was just a cherry on top to make it all come together.

Last Man Standing "Driving Lessons" (S03E02): Mandy and Kyle are headed out on a date, but Mike asks Kyle to help with a car repair. Apparently, Mike has Kyle doing all sorts of household chores, and Kyle's time being monopolized upsets Mandy. So, she tries to get her boyfriend to say "no" to Mike, but Mike also tries to get Kyle to say "no" to Mandy. The kid eventually wises up, to mixed reactions. [Kyle is rather clumsy... why would Mike want him working with his personal stuff?]

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Mike teaches Eve to drive (in a classic truck, of course), but Vanessa is lonely and wants to bond more with her youngest daughter, so Mike has Vanessa give Eve another driving lesson. But, Vanessa doesn't think Eve is taking it seriously, and their time together is cut short. [what teen has road rage?!?] Mike confronts Eve about her attitude, and says that she might need to work harder at a relationship with her mother. Eve immediately tries, accompanying her mother on a work trip. [to blow up a mine. but, baby steps. also, I hated Mandy's jacket at the very end of the episode. grey with neon pink edging?]

Oh, and so that Kristin can make an appearance, she runs into the house purely to check Boyd's backpack for his missing hamster, Snickerdoodle. It's not there. [Trophy Wife AND Last Man Standing have dead hamster storylines the same week?]

NEW SHOW: The Crazy Ones: McDonald's with Kelly Clarkson

Of all the pilots I have seen this season, this one seemed the shortest. Sometimes that can be a good thing (as in, "time flies when you are having fun"), but sometimes it's not such a good thing (like the idea that absolutely nothing happened and it was a waste of 23 minutes). In this case, I'm not sure which it was, but there were definitely some great moments in the episode. For one, the title of the series was explained with a nice reference to the 1997 Apple commercial that talked about "The Crazy Ones" being inventors throughout history. But, when you already have names like Robin Williams and Sarah Michelle Gellar on the series, do you really need Kelly Clarkson? I wonder how many celebrities will appear, and how that will affect the chemistry on the show.

Richard Cartwright/CBS ©2013 CBS Broadcasting, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

The Crazy Ones "Pilot" (S01E01): Sydney and Andrew work with kid commercial actors eating cookies, but bigger problems soon pop up, like McDonald's executives potentially dropping the ad agency. But, Simon pulls an eleventh hour idea where they update a 1972 spot's lyrics with new images and music to make it relevant today. [aren't reboots a bit overdone?] They have 24 hours to find a music icon for the commercial, and Simon gets Kelly Clarkson to agree... kinda. [Sydney constantly telling Lauren to stop laughing because it encourages Simon was amusing.] Kelly really wants to sing about sex, as she wants to re-brand herself, so Simon and Zack let her do a sex song, then try to change it into what they need. It doesn't work, however, and Sydney has to sing in a restaurant to get Kelly to agree to doing what they need: a fast food jingle.

NEW SHOW: The Michael J. Fox Show Starts with a Double!

It certainly seems as if there are too few families spending any time together anymore. The Michael J. Fox Show attempts to be the antithesis to this, with the patriarch insisting on the family sitting down to meals together, only for everyone to choose to jet off in their own directions. Instead, the other family members seem to prefer eating on the go for every meal, as pictured below.

(Photo by: K.C. Bailey/NBC)

Fortunately, with a family this difficult, it might be a great thing that Mike is returning to work, as he will be able to spend more time fixing the problems there instead of in his own home. This will, of course, wreak at least some havoc as everyone makes the transition, but that will be half the fun! 

The Michael J. Fox Show "Pilot" (S01E01): Mike Henry left the workplace five years ago due to Parkinson's and has been pouring all of his energy into his family ever since. Teen daughter Eve isn't super-serious about school and is failing English (the very subject her mother teaches) when she doesn't take a The Grapes of Wrath project seriously. [she's also rather annoying.] Younger son Graham is an average boy, interested in LEGOs and whatnot, but whose room has been invaded by older brother Ian, who failed out of Cornell. Mike and Annie don't know that Ian failed out when his Economics class was graded on a curve, as he has been claiming to be starting his own search engine, u-search.net. Also in the mix is Mike's sister, Leigh, who lives in the basement of the building (near Amsterdam and W. 72nd, so Upper West Side), thanks to Mike helping her with rent. Leigh writes 200-word tidbits for US Weekly and is desperate to marry and have a baby. [and for attention in general, really.]

On his way to take the kids to school, Mike runs into his old boss, Harris, who tells him he should return to work. After some thought, Mike decides to go for it, and the family is very excited that he'll be out of the house more. [so excited, in fact, that it was Annie who set up the whole random meet-up between her husband and Harris.] Mike does a story at City Hall, and is supposed to be promoting his comeback on Today, but breaking news interrupts. [it could also be that Matt Laurer is his nemesis, and that's how the cookie crumbles, LoL.]

The Michael J. Fox Show "Neighbor" (S01E02): Mike goes upstairs to confront a neighbor's loud television, and soon has a small crush on the new resident of the building, Kelly. [she's watching Cake Boss! HOW do you forget to turn on the oven??] To make things less awkward (he talked in his sleep about Kelly), he convinces Harris to come over when Annie invites Kelly for dinner. The two hit it off, but Mike starts cock-blocking, seemingly unable to help himself. [haha! "Who wants to see my Emmys"?!]

Eve's friend, Reese, a lesbian, is coming over, so Eve tells her parents not to be awkward. Ian is the awkward one, though, right up until Eve learns that Reese isn't actually a lesbian, she just kissed a girl at a party. [this was random and we could have done with something more interesting, especially so early in the series.]

And, in a mini-storyline, Leigh is at the playground with Graham when some women think she's a single mother. Loving attention, she goes with it and vents about her struggles. [thankfully this didn't last!]

RETURNING: Big Bang: Missing Leonard; Leonard's Return

Opening the season with two episodes can be a lot of fun, but it really just means another week without a new installment later down the line. And, when funny moments include things like Leonard showing coworkers a clip of Penny in a shower scene from a horror film, that's not great. Similar awesome tidbits that Big Bang-less weeks will miss include finding out that Sheldon owns nine pairs of pants and nine pairs of underpants, and that he is interested in creating robots OR mutants, depending on how a Kickstarter goes. Close to everything the characters talk about interests me, really, and with Stuart getting more screen time, I think that the season will be a great one, even if the audience will have to go a week without at some point. 

The Big Bang Theory "The Hofstadter Insufficiency" (S07E01): While dreaming, Sheldon calls Leonard during a storm to complain about the Back to the Future DVDs being in the wrong cases. [hahaha!] But, when Leonard gets eaten by a Kraken, Sheldon rushes to Penny, wanting to sleep in her apartment so "she" won't miss Leonard as much. [Sheldon is FUNNY, guys. is it any wonder that Jim Parsons gets the Emmy??] She sees right through him, but plays along, even though he sleeps in her bed. [he would just sleep in someone else's bed? that doesn't seem like Sheldon to me...] Another day, Sheldon tries to get Penny to play 3D chess, but he enjoys it so much he doesn't want to win and end the game. [who reads a magazine backwards??] They then call Leonard on the ship, but he's at a party, making Penny miss him more. The lonely duo talk, and Penny admits to being topless in a horror film. Sheldon not only saw the film (thanks, Howard!), but feels that an equivalent secret would be that he doesn't like the YouTube rating system. [what a real moment between he and Penny after that!]

Meanwhile, Raj sees Lucy everywhere he looks, so Howard accompanies him to a post-doc party to meet someone... but he keeps striking out, even though he is now able to talk to women without the aid of alcohol. He tries talking to the HR lady, but he insults her before actually connecting with her on a human level. [where could that really go, though? she's probably going to play by the don't-date-colleagues rule...]

Elsewhere, Amy and Bernadette are at a neuroscience conference, and two guys at the hotel bar buy them drinks. After imbibing, Bernadette suggests that Amy could do better than Sheldon, and the two later realize that they might be interested in the other's type of man. [whaaaa? also, "sweet baboo"?? like Sally Brown calls Linus??]

Photo: Michael Yarish/Warner Bros. ©2013
Warner Bros. Television. All Rights Reserved.

The Big Bang Theory "The Deception Verification" (S07E02): Sheldon wants to find a gift for Leonard, and Stuart tries to sell him an Aquaman statue. He isn't interested until Stuart talks it up of being "rare" and "for a true collector," and then he bought a $1200 statue and a $200 Batman squirt gun. [hilarious!] Leonard comes home a few days early to spend time with Penny, and the two try hard to keep Sheldon unaware, but the nosy neighbor is afraid that Penny is cheating on Leonard, and instead discovers that Penny was trying to cover up for Leonard. Sheldon then claims that Leonard is not actually his friend, but after a few days, everything goes back to normal. [Sheldon wants to be Popeye for Halloween because Leonard got him a sailor's cap, haha! This makes Amy Olive Oyl. Also, I LOVE the cardigan to the right that Amy is wearing!]

Howard has put on a few pounds and been cranky lately, but it turns out that he has been absorbing estrogen from the cream he rubs onto his mother's back. [oh goodness!] It will take weeks to wear off, and before that, he asks Raj if his breasts are larger, and the two are soon comparing in every way. [initially funny, sure, but I think it would have been better if the scene had quit while it was ahead.]

Favorite Episodes: A Different World

I've watched a lot of television series through the years that were popular, but not among my friends. A Different World is one of them. I didn't see any of the episodes during the original run (it went off the air when I was in elementary school), but I found the comedy in reruns during the summer of 1997 or 1998 and was hooked. In fact, by the time I got to college myself, I knew I wanted to be a Resident Assistant partly due to the portrayal of the position on this show! When I mentioned this a few months after being hired as one, most of my colleagues just stared... they weren't familiar with Whitley, Dwayne, Jaleesa, and the others. It wasn't until grad school that I really found friends who knew the series and how great it was.

It wasn't until a few years ago that I managed to actually see all of the episodes (it still runs a few times a day on TV1, and there's also YouTube...), so it's about time that I went through and selected some of my favorite episodes. Season four was particularly difficult for me to narrow down the winner! Note: my normal rules apply, meaning holiday episodes aren't eligible, and I try not to choose episodes that I have already covered substantially elsewhere.

Season 1: "Rudy and the Snow Queen" (S01E06): I had a lot of reservations about Jaleesa in the beginning, for the same reason everyone else did - she was a 26-year-old divorcee starting college. In this episode, this fact stands out, as Jaleesa's ex-husband starts dating her sister! But the more fun storyline is that Rudy comes to visit Denise but prefers spending her time with Whitley, really annoying the elder Huxtable, and making for some pretty funny moments.

Season 2: "Risky Business" (S02E13): I think one of the things that made this series great are the many crossovers between The Cosby Show folks and the college kids at Hillman. In this episode, Clair comes to give a seminar and brings along Vanessa and a friend, hoping to spike interest in the school. Well, Vanessa, of course, is more interested in boys and partying than academics and professors, so it's only a matter of time before she gets caught.

Season 3: "Under One Roof" (S03E11): This isn't the most humorous episode, but it's a good one nonetheless. Ron allows a classmate to stay over at the apartment without telling Dwayne, but after a while they're both sick of the roommate who won't pay a dime toward anything. Plus, Whitley thinks that the Dean inviting her to co-host an annual tea will be wonderful, but the Dean seems to think Freddie has a brighter future, upsetting Whitley.

Season 4: "Sister to Sister, Sister" (S04E21): It's pledge time, and Kim and Terrence are the low men on their totem poles, with Whitley and Ron acting as pledgemasters for their respective organizations. Whitley is too rough on her group and the rebel, while Ron has to get Terrence to understand the sense of family that is created by a Greek group. There are some great jokes, a couple of step moves, and the stereotypical demands.

Season 5: "In the Eye of the Storm" (S05E05): A hurricane is headed to Hillman, and when the roads flood, a bunch of people are stuck at The Pit instead of shelters. Colonel Taylor takes charge and doesn't allow Terrence to do much, but the boy does manage to save the day in the end, which I find heartwarming. The funny part of the episode is over at the radio station, where Ron and Freddie are trapped during the storm. They wind up becoming intimate but it's not a secret... the microphone is on as they talk about it!

Season 6: "Happy Birthday to Moi" (S06E15): This episode depicts Whitley well, showing that she hasn't changed all that much over the years. She convinces Kim to let her help plan her own surprise birthday party, but when Dwayne finds out, he treats the occasion badly to teach his wife a lesson. Meanwhile, with the "new generation" of students, Charmaine and Terrell try to cheat on a French midterm, but they mix up the baby monitor receiver and recorder, getting caught.

Any favorites you want to mention?

RETURNING: The Middle: Axl Goes to College

This was very much an episode about Axl's independence, but Sue had a small line about her role models: Hermione and Sheryl Sandberg. Hermione comes as no surprise, with Sue being a bookish, out-of-place teen who probably spent nights wishing an owl would deliver her invitation to Hogwarts. Sheryl Sandberg, on the other hand, is a bit of a wild card. For those who are not aware, Sandberg published a book earlier this year to encourage women to achieve their career goals. She has the authority to write on such a subject because she holds two degrees from Harvard, is reportedly worth $1B, serves on the board for The Walt Disney Company, previously served on the board for Starbucks, was a VP at Google, and is arguably the reason Facebook is profitable. Not a bad idol, but still curious as to Sue's connection with her... perhaps it will become clearer later in the season. Now, on to Axl believing that he "owns" the family... 

ABC/Michael Ansell

The Middle "The Drop Off" (S05E01): Axl is beyond excited to move to college, and had hoped that Mike could just drop him off. However, Frankie insists on going along for the 42-minute drive, stopping to buy him some unnecessary supplies (like a mini ironing board) along the way. [haha, Axl "wasn't smart enough" to go to a school farther away.] Frankie also gets Brick a cell phone so that he can text Axl. [but really because she's craving the love of her children right now.] It's less than an hour before he drops it out of the window, and the family can't find it. Fortunately, someone does, calls Mike, and they turn around the car to pick up the phone. [he also manages to swap it with someone else's before the episode is up...]

The trip doesn't get any easier, though! Sue gets a much-anticipated call regarding her status as the Junior Peer Leadership Adviser, but finds out that Frankie never faxed the essay for the application. The Hecks now have to swing by a copy/fax place on their way to East Indiana State, as the paper is still in Frankie's purse. Unfortunately, "purse freshener" has spilled all over it, forcing Sue to re-write part where the ink bled. Axl gets so upset that he grabs a bag and an un-inflated palm tree and sets off on foot for school. His anger is further fueled when he finds out that, when he was born, his grandfather issued him a savings bond, but Frankie and Mike used it during a time of need. [that sucks. I can relate, though. I won a savings bond from a spelling bee when I was in elementary school, and I never saw a dime of that money by the time it matured.] Although Axl is convinced to get back into the car, he still feels as if the family owes him the shirts off their backs. [oh, and Sue gets the position.]

Three separate bathroom breaks later, it took them 5 hours to go that 42 minutes. Mike is happy to leave Axl to get settled in, but Frankie insists they stay, hoping to impart some last motherly wisdom to her firstborn. Axl soon takes off for a party, though, leaving the grieving mother to pass on the tips to Axl's gamer roommate, Kenny. [kind of a weird guy.]

But, the best part? Axl beats the family home because he drove back for his guitar! Plus, like a true college student, he mooches some food off his parents while there.

South Park: Private, but Not

South Park never ceases to amaze me. The minds of Matt Stone and Trey Parker are just brilliant. Butters has been painted to be such a naive character over the years that it was perfect that he would be ignorant of the NSA, then believe not only that the government DOES want what is best for one and all, but when they might not have picked up on something, that one should repent for actions that might be un-American. It came off beautifully funny, especially juxtaposed with Cartman "infiltrating" the NSA while being more public about his thoughts than everyone else (except Alec Baldwin, apparently). South Park tends to start the seasons on a high note, but the quick turnaround on subsequent episodes is hit-or-miss at times, so let's not jump the gun on this being an unparalleled season, though it still very well may be!

photo courtesy: Comedy Central

South Park "Let Go, Let Gov" (S17E01): Kyle complains about people using speakerphone in public, which Cartman does constantly. [and just who are these kids he's talking to??] Cartman is organizing an anti-NSA rally, thinking that the government shouldn't keep logs of private information. He finds out that Alec Baldwin has the newest social media - you get implants into your brain that broadcast your thoughts. [I was a little confused about "shitter" followers... it seemed that everyone could hear them, not just followers. Soon enough, Cartman manages to infiltrate the NSA, but ruins things when he realizes that he hasn't made waves in the files. [haha. because a ten-year-old would really stick out to the government!] 

Butters takes the news about the NSA following him seriously and starts confessing to the DMV about indiscretions they might have missed. He then gets some Jehovah's Witnesses to go confess at the DMV, so they, too, can be at peace with the government. [ha!] Afterward, he joins the evangelists in going door-to-door and asking people to accept the government into their hearts. [I laughed so hard!] When he even gets Cartman to confess at the DMV, things start to fall apart, as the DMV workers allegedly "have sex with young boys." The office is shut down, the repenting patriots flee to post offices, and the same things happens there. [a bit of a twisted ending...]

NEW SHOW: Trophy Wife: Fitting Together

What's this? An eleventh hour addition? Yep! While Trophy Wife didn't really blip on my radar all summer (in fact, I called the premise nothing more than a bad movie), I recently found out that one of the kids (Albert Tsai, who plays Bert) on the series lives around my area AND was "discovered" after acting in a colleague's play. So, I had to give the comedy a chance. I actually liked it much more than I was anticipating, and believe that the series could actually have a chance this season, although it may walk a fine line between being too Modern Family or The New Normal, as depicting a non-American-Dream family can be risky. It will undoubtedly take some time, but Kate could definitely fit in with this piecemeal family.

(ABC/Craig Sjodin)

Trophy Wife "Pilot" (S01E01): Kate went from singing karaoke with BFF Meg to married to Pete and being a stepmother to his three children (with two different ex-wives) in just a year. [do Kate OR Meg have any type of career?] There's surgeon Diane Buckley with teenage twins Warren and Hillary, and there's Jackie, with whom Peter adopted Ben from China. Because of the complicated family dynamics, Kate could initially only see lawyer Pete Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other weekend, but they worked it out.

Kate is trying to handle parenting responsibilities, but Diane, in particular, doesn't take her seriously. For instance, when Pete can't make an emergency parent-teacher conference, Kate and Diane go, Diane thinks that Kate is the source of Warren's inappropriate writing about Greek gods. [ha! also, Warren reminds me of what Friends' Ross might be as a kid.] Kate later discovers that Warren just has a crush on one of Hillary's friends, but before that revelation, Diane gets upset at Kate for being drunk. See, Kate had told the teens a story from her own youth that involved sneaking vodka into a concert in a water bottle. [why she'd pass on this trick, I don't know.] Hillary immediately tries this, and Kate catches her. [where did she get the vodka with which to do this?] Trying to bond with her stepdaughter, Kate keeps the incident from Diane, but has to chug the vodka when Warren is thirsty for water. [well, soda. but a mother in the medical field isn't letting Warren have cola willy-nilly.] It isn't until Diane threatens to try for full custody that Hillary admits to why Kate is drunk, getting herself grounded in the process. This frees up Warren to attend a concert with Hillary's friend. [not sure why the friend agrees to take Warren over another friend.]

It might not be long until Jackie is also upset with Kate, as Kate farmed out transporting Bert to orchestra practice so she could be at Warren's school, but Meg detoured to a bar and Bert missed his saxophone audition for a solo part. [not a big fan of Meg.] Although, on the other hand, Jackie doesn't seem to have it all together, either. When Bert's hamster at her house dies, she tries to swap it with the one at Pete's house so he'd be the one to explain what happened. [this was pretty funny!] Instead, Pete catches her, they accidentally kill the other one, and they make a mad rush to the pet store in search of more hamsters. Jackie pulling out a dead hamster from her purse (combined with a joke about how Pete also killed one of the critters) stops them from being able to buy more. [hahaha!] When they can't find twin hamsters at any other store, they resort to buying Bert a puppy to avoid telling him about the dead hamsters. [and it seems like they're just going to pretend they got lost.]

NEW SHOW: The Goldbergs: Life Lessons and Driving

The opening made me smile as I reminisced about some great 80s references. The rest of the episode, however, had me spending more time grimacing than giggling. The characters seem real enough, if a little over-the-top 80s, but they just were not very interesting. However, one installment of a series is not enough to truly judge characters, so hopefully their interests will become more intriguing in the near future. The clips at the end comparing the characters to the true Goldbergs was amusing, though. Unfortunately, this was over-balanced by the annoying captions that explained what Murray really meant as he yelled at his family... I could certainly do without that!

The Goldbergs "Circle of Driving" (S01E01): It's September 3rd, and it's obvious right away that the Goldbergs are a family that argues a lot. [I guess school is just about to start for the year?] The economic status of the family is immediately questioned when Adam has to wear his sister's old jeans, and it's Grandpa who presents Barry with an old Cadillac for his birthday. [a locket?? seriously?!?] Beverly claims that Barry is not ready to drive yet, but Grandpa is convinced that he can sway Beverly... right up until he has a major accident and has to admit that he may not be able to handle driving anymore. [ugh. we had this episode on The Wonder Years, but the youngest got the car, rather than the older sister.]

Even if Grandpa can't take Adam to the diner anymore to impart wisdom (under the guise of water aerobics), he still wants to teach his grandson about life, and that just means they trade flirting with Zoe at the diner for a new girl at Hooters. [Beverly mortified ME when she showed up at the diner and ruined Adam's Alan's chances with Zoe! that was unreal!]

There's still hope that Murray will give Barry the right to drive, but when they're out on a lesson, they get into a fight so big that neither refuses to budge and the car has to be towed! [okay, now this really HAS to be fake, right??]

ABC/Eric McCandless

Teen Mom 3: Bye, Bye, Babydaddies

With the season is well underway, the girls have all had a variety of problems, though all have had issues with their babydaddies. Joey and Matt have more in common than originally thought, with tendencies to turn to drugs over their families. Briana has decided that she doesn't need her babydaddy anymore, following in her mother's footsteps, which will almost certainly get her life off to a slower start. Mackenzie, much younger than the others, still has enough family and babydaddy support to continue living her life pretty close to that of an average teenager. However, without that support, she would be screwed, as she has no way of making money on her own, and babydaddy Josh doesn't seem to be very interested in doing so, either. In the analysis clip afterward, it was cute of the girls to say nice things about one another, as it really showed their close relationships. Alex's white lacy blouse was weird, though.

mtv.com

Teen Mom 3 "To Be Judged" (S01E06): Molli is 10 months old (born Aug 18, so it's mid-June for them), Arabella is 8 months old (born July 18th, so it's mid-March for them), and Nova is 7 months old (born September 10th, so it's mid-April for them).

Katie: After receiving multiple overdraft notices, Katie worries that Joey is spending their money on weed. He admits to being a "pothead," but claims he is not addicted. [I'll never understand these folks who don't understand how selfless you must be to parent well!] They have another appointment with their counselor, and they have to bring along Molli when the sitter doesn't come in time. Joey agrees to give up marijuana for the good of the family.

Mackenzie: She brings Gannon to tumbling practice because she can't get anyone to watch him. [I'm curious as to whether her family still pays all of her tumbling/practice fees...] She counts on Josh to win money at the rodeo, but he gets a lecture from his father first, and then winds up getting disqualified before he could win anything. To top that off, her family gets lost on the way to the event and miss seeing Josh ride. [I suppose it is possible that NONE of them mapped it in advance, but nobody has a phone they could use, even if to just call someone else for directions??] She asks him to consider getting a side job, but nothing has come of that yet.

Alex: Matt made a huge mess in the basement before he left, and Alex thinks he should come back to clean it. He eventually comes over but only takes some of his stuff, not everything. [why? I guess he simply didn't want to have to take out his own trash?] Alex thinks that supervised visitation is the only option, as Matt cannot be trusted. This theory is strengthened when Matt tests positive for drugs, and is referred to a transitional home to give him a place to live, as his mother is moving. [Alex just might need to take a note from Briana...]

Briana: Devoin comes over for ten minutes to see Nova, but says very little. She decides to ask Devoin to step off and stay away, and when she breaks the news, things are pretty civil until Briana's mother eavesdrops and freaks out, causing a huge scene and throwing out Devoin. [I couldn't believe she threw a vase at him!] They have the police serve Devoin an injunction for no contact, and he responds by tweeting out that he is a free man now. [how sad!]

19 Kids and Counting: Moving In & Moving On

Those who know me personally are probably well aware that I have moved quite a bit in my adult life, and have lived in five cities in three states since graduating from college. I don't have a problem saying goodbye to people and moving on to the newest phase of life, and sometimes struggle to understand why it bothers people to do so. For someone like Josh Duggar, though, I see where it's not simple. He has lived outside of his parents' home for five years or so, but tearing oneself away from eighteen siblings rather than one or two has got to be much more difficult. I have been on the fence about Josh and Anna's decision to move to our nation's capital, but at least they will have each other and their own offspring. Plus, I think we all know that plenty of visits will be taking place before long! 

facebook.com/19KidsandCounting

19 Kids and Counting "An Emotional Goodbye" (S07E13): The Duggars have brought along several members of the Bates family to help with the unpacking. [because 20 sets of hands just isn't enough??] JimBob and Josh struggle to move things into Josh's house, and the front door being on the second floor makes things a little complicated as well. [haha, I can relate to that one a little. If it wasn't for the garage door, there would be no way to enter my home from the side that faces the street, and moving things into a door would require a lot of angling because of the fence!] Some of the girls got a bunch of house decorations together for Josh and Anna, like framed photos and vases of flowers, and stay up overnight to decorate. [I've never seen a place look so complete 24 hours later!]

Before the family leaves and Josh has his first day on the job, they spend Anna's 25th birthday at the National Mall, ten miles away. [but why ride the carousel when they are all so prone to motion sickness?? also, has it been confirmed whether Josh's children also suffer the same condition?] 

19 Kids and Counting "Farm Fresh Duggars" (S0714): Michelle talks about dreams of more babies, and says she hopes to have more again. [who has positive things to say about this? anyone?] They're also praying about adopting, so there are multiple options on the table. [I can get on board with this idea slightly more, but still not very much.]

Jason's garden has been overtaken with weeds, so the family works on it together, inspiring JimBob to do more with their 20 acres. [barefoot preschoolers with weed whackers scare me!] He wonders if raising their own livestock would be a good idea, though Michelle is skeptical. [me, too.] JimBob sets up a farm experience day for the family at Youngblood Grassfed Farm, where they feed pigs, sheep, cows, and chickens, collect eggs, milk cows, and even examine a pregnant heifer. [the early hours were probably a downer for 90% of the family... and the inappropriate footwear grossed me out!] Everything really makes JimBob re-think running a arm, especially having to get his arm up inside an animal! [loud pigs! the dogs play with the sheep! I never thought about cows expressing colostrum like humans.] Plus, they also helped at a meat shoppe - making salad, vegetables, and pies, working the register, filling orders, wrapping meat, and butchering a cow. [that last one was a bit intense!] Not all of the family members were opposed to living a farm life, though, so who knows!

Dads: Acting Immaturely

I got that "Noble Eskimo" song stuck in my head for a few minutes, so the show can't be all bad. And, when Martin accidentally ate Niles's pot brownie on Frasier, the episode was hilarious, so maybe I was expecting something similar. Instead, Dads took the drugging to an annoying level, definitely making me question what future merit the comedy might have. This just might be the first show I cut for the season, if it doesn't turn around quickly. I still hold fast to the idea that there is potential in the premise and the actors could do great things, but the writing just might not link the two together as well as I had hoped.

Jennifer Clasen/FOX

Dads "Heckuva Job, Brownie" (S01E02): The guys begin to worry that they have no good ideas for the company right now, and Warner and Veronica wind up having a mini-intervention to get Eli on weed again, to spark ideas. [weird see-through top on Veronica.] He brings home a pot brownie, but decides to give it to David, to make him more tolerable. [a jack on the counter in the kitchen?] Warner decides to drug his father, too, and after a few days, Camilla catches on, angry that he brought drugs into their home, where they have kids. [they have kids?? guess they won't be a major part of the series!] 

Both men apparently knew they were getting stoned, and though the sons say that they're cut off, the fathers propose a pot-off. Warner fights it, but eventually gives in, with the rules stating that you cannot jump out a window, close your eyes for more than a minute, or vomit. [so glad I was never a drug kid. this sounds ridiculous.] They pass a brownie around, each taking a bite at a time. Warner gets drowsy quickly, then builds a fort and hides in the fridge. [I'm no expert, but isn't behavior like that generally associated with synthetic drugs?] In the end, Warner isn't allowed to see Eli over lunch, as his wife has really shortened the leash.

Crawford's Idea of the Week: cornering the market on penguin meat. [this reminds me of the time my husband pitched making camel milk into a nationwide thing. no, seriously, he made it to a national pitch competition back in grad school with this idea!]

NEW SHOW: Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

I'm a superhero fan. Although X-Men are my favorite, I've enjoyed the various other comic book films and adaptations that have been released over the past decade or so, even the less popular ones like Daredevil. Therefore, I had high expectations for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., though I feel like most people did, with the names attached to it and the hugely positive reception for the Avengers and Iron Man films in particular. So, it could be that the pilot was decent, but it did not excite me and I wasn't particularly taken with it or most of the characters. I'm sad to say that this show is already looking to get cut, but, on the other hand, I've seen many pilots that I hated only for the series itself to become a favorite, so only time will tell.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. "Pilot" (S01E01): A S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, Ward, uses a handprint on a glass to get into an apartment, where he uses an x-ray device to look through the walls. After some fighting, Ward joins Fitz and Simmon on a plane, piloted by Melinda. [black matte plane... interesting.]

Mike is a single father in East Los Angeles. His wife left him when he lost his job after injury, for which he did not receive workman's compensation. [a story we've all heard a hundred times.] However, he saw a doctor afterward who gave him experimental super strength, which he uses to save people from burning buildings. A bystander gets his face on her phone and follows him for a few days before confronting him, specifically to suggest he try to avoid SHIELD. [but she doesn't really have a reason to hide from them over any other government entity.] She steals his driver's license, then goes to record a podcast when SHIELD shows up and kidnaps her, wanting to know who "the hooded hero" is. [she hacked the SHIELD database from her van??] When she won't talk, she is threatened with a truth drug. But, Coulson gives it to Ward and lets Skye interrogate him. [I didn't find this as funny as it was supposed to be. and, it's creepy to know that such tactics will be employed on this series.] Meanwhile, Fitz and Simmons search the bomb site, and eventually put together enough clues to determine that someone who underwent the same procedure of Mike WAS the bomb! [dang!] Mike will also explode before long, so Fitz and Simmons work on an antidote, based on knowing that the centipede-like thing on Mike's arm seems to use a serum used years ago on SuperSoldiers. [hmmm...]

Skye is allowed to return to civilization, and after Mike tries to get his job back and winds up beating up his boss, he turns to get to help him disappear. ["no, it's an origin story" was so cliche!] She deletes his identity from various databases, then signals Fitz and Simmons to their location - Union Station. [so she's like a super-hacker?]

Credit: ABC/Justin Lubin

But, the doctor has an assistant who also goes after Mike, for the kill. Coulson tries to talk to Mike, but Ward winds up having to shoot him, though he isn't dead. [so shooting was the plan all along? is there corruption to the system? not a fan...] Coulson drops off Mike's son in the country with a family, saying that his father will return. Then, Coulson offers Skye a job. [so she'll go from anti-establishment to working for an undercover agency in a matter of days? annoying.]

NEW SHOW: Lucky 7: How it Happened

Another series told in flashback. From the beginning of the pilot, we know that "present day" is seven months later than when the group of coworkers win the Empire State Lottery, but it is not clear how long the series will be in the past. It is even suggested that the drama will delve further into the past, in order to uncover the reasons behind the various characters' struggles. Still, $145M (obviously less after taxes) split six ways is a nice chunk of change. Plus, the fact that one of the Gold Star employees did not participate in the pool definitely puts an interesting perspective out there. All said and done, the pilot had me on the edge of my seat wanting more, and I hope that the next several episodes can live up to that.

Lucky 7 "Pilot" (S01E01): First, the characters and their backgrounds...
Denise, an overweight woman with a cheating husband, Ted. They have no children, but they tried for several years, only resulting in a miscarriage. They hadn't had sex in five years when he disappears, only to resurface after Denise wins big.
Matt has a pregnant wife, Mary, and a son and they're living at his mother's, as is his ex-con brother, Nicky. Things there are hectic, and Mary winds up going into premature labor, but fortunately births a healthy daughter. Mary even threatens to head to her sister's place with the kids if they can't get a place of their own. [this sort of attitude bothers me. How uninformed is Mary that she isn't aware of what their household can and cannot afford?]
Nicky is six months out of the slammer, and owes money to several different people. He is also trying to date Samira.
Samira wants to play the violin at Julliard, but her parents want her to settle down, trying to arrange a marriage for her with a local doctor.
Leanne is a single mother with a young daughter who dances. Leanne also has a past, but how deep it goes has yet to be revealed. [identity theft, anyone?]
Antonio is a mechanic at the gas station who stopped playing the pool at work to save money, but didn't tell his family, including wife Bianca.
Bob is the boss, who is worried that Gold Star might be sold to a chain, which could affect everyone's jobs.

Now, the story in the pilot. Matt, desperate to find a place to live, asks Bob for a raise. When he's turned down, Nicky tries to convince his brother to steal from the safe at work, which could benefit them both. After some hesitation, Matt agrees to help, but when Bob shows up in the middle of the robbery, Nicky hits him over the head and he's rushed to the hospital. [I was surprised that Nicky and Matt didn't go over "the plan" a little more, as it came off very strange.] Matt wants to come clean, but Nicky just wants to split the $9,000 and move on. When the numbers are pulled and the group finds out they won, everyone is excited except for Bianca, who immediately starts spending the money, unaware that her family isn't entitled to any of it. [everyone just memorizes the numbers to look for? for one set of numbers, sure, but for a bunch??] Antonio calls in sick the next day, avoiding the excitement as lottery official comes to go over the rules, talk about a press conference, and have the group vote on whether to include Matt, who didn't technically pay in that week.

(ABC/John Medland)

The blind vote is 2-2 (though Matt suspects Samira and Denise were the ones trying to keep him out), so once Bob is coherent, he breaks the tie by including Matt. [awww. how sweet. but why did anyone vote to keep him out? If they covered his portion, they knew he'd pay!] Meanwhile, Nicky gets interrogated about being a con working at the gas station. A day later, Antonio has no hard feelings and hopes that they all will still spend New Year's together. [that's sweet.]

RETURNING: 2 Broke Girls: The New Location

I hate-watch a lot of things, but I legitimately enjoy this show, one which it seems everyone else hate-watches. I like the characters, I think the plots (both one-episode and ongoing) are amusing, and the tone is unique. It did take a little while to become accustomed to the language used in this comedy, but I take it in stride now. So, it shouldn't really be surprising that I enjoyed this episode quite a bit and think that it will set up some nice moments for the season. The focus will be less split with the girls working out of the diner rather than in a location across town, and the other characters will probably be helping more than once. I predict Max will be the one with the lover this season (if they keep trading off, anyway), and that it won't take long for Oleg and Sophie to reunite, either. Han getting lucky would also be a fun side story. Oh, and this show continuously makes me want to bake/decorate/eat cupcakes, so I might have to have a cupcake party at some point to coincide with a big episode...

2 Broke Girls "And the Soft Opening" (S03E01): Max starts with a recap of what happened in popular culture over the summer,then the girls begin to prepare for their new location's soft opening. They plan to hit the 2-4am post-bar demographic, and are quickly greeted with a couple of Brits who want buy a dozen cupcakes. This is great news until one of them is so drunk that he falls down and hits his head on the window before choking on a cupcake! [OF COURSE the actual cause of death is the cupcake! LoL.] However, it turns out that the deceased was a rock star of sorts, Roland Glass, so people flock to the window to pay tribute, buying cupcakes while there. The girls profit when they charge $7/cupcake and say that "Roland would have wanted it that way," but this makes Han want rent money now, even though he initially said the girls could do whatever they wanted with the space. [that sucks.] He goes from $200/month to $195/month when Caroline shows him some rat bite marks she got while preparing the place, but Han gets upset and decides to move the memorial so that the mourners go into the diner instead. [ha!] The girls move the shrine back, and when Max stops the crowd from beating up Han, he offers them a rent-free situation until they hit $250,000 sales. [ooook...]

facebook.com/2BrokeGirls/

Also, Oleg cheated on Sophie, so they broke up and she trashed his stuff. [and, in true mafia style, messed with everyone he knows.]

Cupcakery Savings Total: $725.00. [they ended last season with $1540.00, though maybe that all went to prepping the new space?]

RETURNING: HIMYM: Transportation Troubles

The final season of How I Met Your Mother will be difficult to predict because of the short timetable in which all of the episodes will take place. Speculations are high that at least one episode will run in real-time, and other big questions loom over whether eight-hour-blocks of the long weekend will be "eaten" by sleeping characters. I personally suspect that while the others are sleeping, The Mother and Ted will spend the night talking, and that's when viewers will be able to see all of the clues finally put together, as the two reminisce about crossing paths here and there in the past. One big downside to the format for the season will be that character development is shot... nothing can change for anyone in three days. Barney no longer using "legen - wait for it - dary" was sad, even if his reasoning was "I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore." Still, cheers all around, as the time has come to start the goodbyes to this sitcom.

Photo: Cliff Lipson/CBS © 2013 CBS Broadcasting, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Oh, and because I feel like we might add to it later, I'm starting a list of the Wild Cards: 13 from Barney, not counting "Ring Bear," and their names are: Uncle Vic, Casual Racist; Aunt Shelly, Braless Dance Machine; Uncle Jacques, Brings Own Accordion.

How I Met Your Mother "The Locket" (S09E01): Friday, 11am; 55 hours before the wedding. [this puts the ceremony at 6pm Sunday. interesting choice.] Ted wears driving gloves as he and Lily head to Long Island for the wedding. But, he annoys her too much and she decides to take a train instead. [haha, lonely unicorn.] Lily and The Mother bond  instantly, and from the beginning it seems that The Mother has a lot in common with Ted. [Lady Tedwina Slowsby, ha!] There's a suggested idea that Ted flew to LA to uncover Robin's locket in Stella's storage unit. [why, exactly, was it there?]

Meanwhile, Ranjit drives Barney and Robin to Farhampton, as the two discuss the crazy relatives who will be at the wedding. They realize that they have a common cousin, but it later turns out that he was adopted on Robin's side, so no DNA is shared. [I rather enjoy James' over-the-top performance possibility at the wedding...]

Elsewhere, as Marshall tries to get his mother to delete an online photo that reveals he will be a NYC judge, he winds up being removed from the plane from Minnesota, as he freaks out and his seatmate gets involved. The baby manages to delete it, but the chances of Marshall getting to New York are threatened when there is only one remaining seat on the next flight to New York. [I was disappointed that Marshall couldn't beat her there, even with baby in tow. remember all the "Marshall versus The Machine" references of seasons past?] 

How I Met Your Mother "Coming Back" (S09E02): Friday, 12pm; 54 hours before the wedding. When Marshall might not make it, Lily strikes a deal with a bartender to keep her drinking. [I kinda love this and think it'll work well all weekend/season.] Marshall and his former seatmate wind up without a plane when a storm threatens, so they head to rental car row. [LOVED how the cars were doled out!] He gets luckier than she does and gets a Monstrosity, but there are no babyseats left. [haha to Marshall's environmentalist side.] The woman offers to help him out, and his shucksy-doodles attitude almost gets the better of him, but she does return for the Erickson men, provided that Marshall will pay for gas and she will pick the music. [anyone else thrilled for what THIS part of the season will be like??!?]

Tom and James are splitting up because James repeatedly cheated on him. [boo!] But, Barney doesn't know and Robin is afraid that it will spook him. [haha, Lily and Marshall not counting as a successful couple.] DrunkLily lets it slip, but Barney doesn't freak out. Instead, he feels bad that he did a lot for James and Tom's anniversary, and he has to take it all down. [anyone else think it was weird that the brothers acted as if they had not previously realized that they would share an anniversary?] The decorations get moved to Ted's room. [I actually wasn't a big fan of the "year later" scene where Ted and The Mother are back at the inn, but I understand why it was included.] 

Food Truck Race: No Elimination!

The finale starting a city early and with three teams was a nice change from seasons past. It brings a lot of trickery to a table where it seemed that Aloha Plate would be a shoo-in for the win. Tikka Tikka taking a nice lead with cash AND the next city gives them quite the edge, so it may very well be them and Aloha vying for the win as Philly continues to flounder about with small yet noticeable mistakes. I am actually really looking forward to the finale, as the demographics of Annapolis and the strengths and weaknesses of the remaining competitors all come together/clash. I don't think I'm really rooting for anyone in particular, though it certainly seems that Tikka and Aloha tried harder and are more deserving than Philly at this point, as sad as that is. 

Remaining Trucks:
Aloha Plate, Authentic Hawaiian Cuisine. Brothers Adam and Lanai, plus friend Shawn, are from a remote Hawaiian island and want to share their food. Adam went to culinary school, thanks to a benefactor whose life he saved.

Philly's Finest Sambonis, serving Authentic Philly Cheesesteaks, Philadelphia. Childhood BFFs Erik, Joe, and Chris have come together after Erik had a bad car accident that ruined his career as an electrician.

Tikka Tikka Taco, Indian Street Food, St. Louis. Brothers Mike and Shaun (a veteran) work with their uncle, Sam. 

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The Great Food Truck Race "A Food Truck Kind of Town, Chicago Is" (S04E06): The teams receive $500 in seed money, but the Truck Stop happens before they can shop. They are given two hours to create a deep-dish, Chicago-style pizza, which will be judged by mayor Rahm Emanuel. Tikka wins for uniqueness, and receive $1,000 toward their earnings. Then, it is announced that this IS the finale, and that a Speed Bump will be in effect requiring the trucks offer at least five different dishes at all times. [I was confused on how Philly counted fries... maybe they were loaded fries?] To make the final round even more complicated, the next part of it will be six states away! [I was amazed that Tikka and Aloha were $311 apart when Sunday started!] There's a second Truck Stop where the teams must add a special sixth item to the menu: a $7 hot beef polish sausage sandwich cooked authentically Chicago-style. [sounded good, though I've never heard of "sport peppers."] And not just any sausage, either. Mike Ditka offers up 300 sausages to each team, and the first truck to sell all of theirs will get a five-hour head-start to the next city: Annapolis, MD!. [724 miles is FAR!] The losing two teams will get stuck on kitchen duty for four hours at Ditka's restaurant. [that sucks. what a way to wear out someone before a long drive!] 

Aloha Plate goes with a three-meat, three-cheese pizza, with egg in the sauce to help it bind. [I've never heard of such an idea!] It had a great crust, but there is too much sauce. They sell to a large crowd at a Hawaiian event, and offer a teriyaki burger, chicken lettuce wrap, sesame chicken sandwich, SPAM sandwich, and chicken chopped salad. [diverse.] To make their sausage sales, they up the other prices to $25 to get the sausages moving, then drop all prices to $5 to act like everything is on sale. [that huge of a price disparity is a bit difficult to chew!] They head to Wicker Park, but they only sell 238 sausages before time runs out. [and yet they couldn't even hit 300 if they combined with Philly...]

Philly's Finest Sambonis knows that Chicago is known for pizza, hot dogs, and Mike Ditka, and they become really full of themselves regarding their pizza-making prowess. They talk about making their own sauce, but time isn't on their side. [that's the northeast for ya! love it!] Three cheeses and five meats later (including salami, cappy, prosciutto, and bacon), the pizza is a little "wet in the middle." Time continues to be against them as they hunt down specialty ingredients out-of-town, then struggle with traffic getting back into the city. [fun that they ran into someone one of the guys knew!] They partner with a tavern on Saturday, selling cheesesteak, chicken cheesesteak, a ranch wrap, a buffalo wrap, and steak fries. [I still think that it's a limited menu, which is going to result in fewer customers.] It takes them a long time to get orders out. On Sunday they start at a flea market, thinking it was a farmer's market. [ouch! huge mistake!] Then, they head to the beach, but there's no parking, so they wind up in an uncrowded area. They move again to Humboldt Park where there's a festival, but at this point there is only 30 minutes left, and they sell a measly ten sausages. [so sad. :(]

Tikka Tikka Taco does a unique pizza with chicken tikka, garlic, ginger, black pepper, cilantro, feta, mozzarella, spinach, and yogurt. The market they hit doesn't have the yogurt they want, their crust burns, and the spinach wilts and releases water, but their creation still wins. [I'm not convinced I would like it, but that's okay.] Their big menu consists of tacos, nachos, tacquitos, a salad, and a veggie wrap. They hit up a brewery for a while, and the next day they start outside a cathedral. [interesting choice.] They don't have any quarters for the meter, and they get a parking ticket. [ha!] They go to a tavern to sell their sausages, and make the rest of their menu $5 off if you buy a sausage. [must have worked!] They make it there first, and get three Ditka-autographed footballs on top of the early departure time. [nice!]

RETURNING: Last Man Standing - It's All About Education

I have a huge problem with overcrowded classrooms. Not only does it make it tougher to teach (more papers to grade, more students to track, more phone calls to make, more work to keep everyone's attention), it is more draining on the students (everything takes longer, less individual attention, less space and supplies per students). But before I launch into a tirade on teacher:student ratio, let me just say that I am not a fan of how the Baxters "solved" this problem. Boyd using his grandparents' address is not an uncommon trick, and the fact that not one character had an ethical dilemma with it bothered me. Ben and Kate had a small storyline with the same issue last year, and Kate got caught helping Maddie by using another address. It is probably only a matter of time before the same happens with the Baxters. Okay, enough politics... time for the actual facts...

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Last Man Standing "Back to School" (S03E01): Boyd is learning Spanish in first grade, as the school uses bilingual education. Vanessa is concerned with the class sizes and thinks a charter school might have been a better choice, so they suggest that Boyd use their address and go to a "better" school. Mike complains about bilingual schooling in his vlog, but Ed isn't a big fan of Mike's attitude. Kristin fights for multiculturalism, but Ryan thinks that Boyd should go to the best school, so the switch will be made. [I'm glad that Mike admitted to being attached to Boyd.]

Mandy is loving college, especially her philosophy class. Kyle is still in the picture, and enjoys listening to Mandy discuss her courses. Kyle also still works at the store, where he gets some sage advice from two customers wanting hunting supplies. [Duck Dynasty stars.]

As a side note, Blanca studies for and passes her citizenship test. [that kinda fit in, I guess.]

Where We Left Off...

As we did just before the 2012 fall season began, I thought it would be a good idea to refresh myself and our readers with what was going on at the end of last season with each of the regular-season series we cover. Now, many of the programs we tried last year wound up canceled (like Guys with Kids or The New Normal), and others we've given up on (like Elementary and Revolution), but several are sticking around, so let's get right to it... after all, they're coming back soon, starting Last Man Standing tonight!

Last Man Standing (ABC) Kristin gets a better waitressing job from an old friend (guest star Jonathan Taylor Thomas), and decides to get in apartment in LoDo with Ryan and Boyd. Mandy decides to go to University of Colorado-Denver, as a fashion major, with plans to later transfer to Long Beach University. Returns Friday, September 20th.

How I Met Your Mother (CBS) Marshall and Marvin head to Minnesota for a week before moving to Italy for Lily's job. Marshall is offered a position as a judge in New York. Ted has decided to sell his house and move to Chicago right after Barney and Robin's wedding, a mere 56 hours away. Special Note: the entire upcoming season of HIMYM will take place over a three-day period. Returns Monday, September 23rd.

2 Broke Girls (CBS) After discovering an extra room as part of the diner's property, Han hires Caroline to clean it. She and Max discover that there's a nice window, which they might be able to use to sell cupcakes once again. Plus, Sophie thinks that Oleg is getting too clingy. The current savings total is $1540.00. Returns Monday, September 23rd.

The Middle (ABC) Axl graduated from high school and received a car, Sue passed her driving test, and Brick finished elementary school. Returns Wednesday, September 25th.

The Big Bang Theory (CBS) Raj is now able to talk to women without drinking, but Lucy dumps him after he introduces her to Amy, a step in meeting his friends. Leonard will be working with Stephen Hawking in the North Sea for four months. Returns Thursday, September 26th.

...and, a new one! We're now going to be covering Bob's Burgers, which I caught up on during the past year thanks to Netflix, and really enjoy the non-MacFarlane FOX Animation Domination mainstay. Because the series doesn't really have an ongoing dialogue, there is no real "where we left off," however the last season did end with Tina becoming an espresso addict and Louise realizing she is starting to fall for boys. Returns Sunday, September 29th.

The sad news? This means that, of the 15 network pilots we tried out last year, 0 are on this list. Of course, of those, the only ones even returning are The Neighbors, Revolution, and Elementary, so that's not actually too bad. At the same time, however, it reminds us all of just how precarious it is for the new programs.

RETURNING: 19 Kids and Counting Goes to Washington

The second half of the season begins with a new opening, showcasing updates photos of the family. While Josie (who turns FOUR is December!) was supposed to be seen as the biggest change, Jordyn actually appeared to age the most, as well as some of the now-teenage boys. Michelle also has a new look, and it certainly is not doing anything for her! Not sure if she can really be blamed, though, as she seems content with playing the grandmotherly role, choosing to spend time with Mackenzie and Marcus (and Michael, though not pictures below) over helping with the packing the household. The Duggars being split between two states will certainly change the balance of the series, and Josh might finally get the spin-off many have been suspecting he wants...

TLC

19 Kids and Counting "Big Changes" (S07E12): After Marcus has his one-week checkup, Josh, Anna, and the kids fly to Washington, DC to finish house-hunting. [they were just there two weeks ago? That math doesn't work if they traveled when Anna was 33 weeks pregnant but Marcus was born on his due date...] It's tough, as they weight closeness to the metro, community, space, and price, but they go with a 3,000 sq ft five-bedroom home. Josh was trying to avoid driving to work, but it'll have to happen in this situation.

Back in Arkansas, the family helps pack up the house, and even JimBob and Josh's trainer shows up to assist. A six-vehicle caravan takes off the next morning, including a motorhome, the bus, two moving trucks, an SUV, and a pickup truck. [I'm not sure why the breakdowns for the vehicles happened the way they did...] Two cars are also being towed, as well as a trailer. [why is Josh bringing a second truck of stuff from the car lot? and did he sell it off or who is running it now? also, glad that H3 is gone!] About halfway to Josh's new place, the Duggars decide to drop in on the Bates family, giving them three hours of notice. Still, the Bateses make the most out of the time and whip up dinner, decorations, and even some baby gifts for Anna. [love that family!] Josh is concerned that they'll get behind schedule, and, sure enough, they wind up spending the night there. Josh wakes up early the next day and gets his family on the road... good thing, as the rest of the Duggars wind up spending an extra day in Tennessee!

Josh, Anna, and the kids make it to the new house, which has plenty of space and a yard for the kids to run around. They'll be spending that first night in the motorhome, however, and without Marcus's vibrating seat, which accidentally got loaded onto a moving truck! [ouch!]