Wedding Farm: Erica & Kristen

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I'm still a bit confused as to what made Matt decide to use the extra land for a wedding venture. But, I'm glad that the brides have seemed happy with their events. I know that those weddings were not the type of soiree I would have wanted (my wedding was more of a semi-formal affair), and I certainly would have thumbed-down portable toilets for the guests. Still, there's a reasonable amount of "conflict" in the episodes, with something going wrong amongst the staff or with the venue. I did like Amy telling Matt that he should text her if "all hell is breaking loose." I find it a bid odd and off-putting that the couple is talking so much about their children's future weddings. I mean, I understand that they desire for the kids to marry on their estate, but Zach is the only one even close to such a milestone, and I'd hate for him to be pushed into it before he's ready. Am I reading too much into it?

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm "A Matrimonial Mess" (S01E02): They're over-budget and behind schedule on making the farm wedding-worthy when the first bride signs on for the venue. Erica's original choice became unavailable five weeks before the date, but her "rustic" theme will fit well on Roloff Farms. [I have a lot of respect for people who have complete DY weddings. the best thing I ever did for my obsessive-compulsive self was hire a wedding planner and only have to make final decisions rather than combing through oodles of information and weed out individual services myself.] Amy offers Jeremy's videographer services, so he brings along a friend to help with that. Matt thought that Zach would help host, but he'd rather do something behind-the-scenes. Jacob will be directing parking for the wedding.

Amy is increasingly paranoid that they won't finish in time as Matt keeps adding personal touches. They get lucky and the grass comes in the morning of the big day, but there are other concerns, like hornets and wind gusts. [the "country chic doors" were a little odd, I thought. hay bales for seating during the reception??] Plus, the couple receives a branding iron made with their initials as a gift from the Roloffs. [interesting, but really more of an ornamental gift than a practical one.]

Little People, Big World: Wedding Farm "Molly Moves Out" (S01E03): The grounds were a little more torn-up after the first wedding than they expected, so Matt creates a loading dock so trucks don't drive all over the lawn again. If you thought that five weeks was a short time to prepare for a wedding, meet Kristen, who has a country-western wedding for 160 people on just two weeks of notice. See, the groom is in the military and barely has time to get married, so Matt wants to make everything extra-special by using the stagecoach to transport the couple to the Western Town to take photos.

TLC

In preparation for the big day, one of Matt's handymen (Sven) points out that Matt is not an ideal manager, but it soon blows over. A big concern is whether the stagecoach will actually be able to be pulled by horses, as it had never been tried in the past. That works out okay, allowing everyone to focus on the bigger problem: the bride-and-groom cake tumbled upon arrival and Zach and Tori rush out to pick up a replacement. [Kristen had some long nails!] But, the 16" is too large, so the couple race to get another one just in time. [I don't understand why so much time elapsed between the incident and when the first cake was picked up...] 

This episode also offered some extra drama, as Molly left for college (I believe she's attending Whitworth University in Spokane, Washington) the same day as the wedding. First, we saw her, Zach, and some friends go to the beach and try a skimboard. Then, Amy takes her golfing. Everyone keeps questioning what she is choosing not to bring with her, but she's got bigger worries, like whether or not to double-major in Accounting and Spanish. 

Elementary: Family Affairs

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I actually think that this drama is getting better. I know that tons of people have been fans since the beginning, but I've been a little slow to warm-up to this adaptation of the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle classic. I was wondering how long Watson would be around as a "sober companion" before she'd need another excuse to remain around Holmes, and it looks like we'll get one shortly (unless, of course, the next few episodes take place in a short period of time). Before then, however, it's interesting to see Watson try to find a "sponsor" for Holmes, especially as he'll need one strong in patience and forgiveness to accommodate his sporadic personality. As far as the deductive reasoning used in the cases, I've been fairly impressed... I'm not so great with paying attention to multiple things and linking them together for later memory retrieval. Or, at least I didn't used to be... it's been quite a while since I've tried anything like that. What did you find most astounding about Holmes' logic in these episodes?

Elementary "One Way to Get Off" (S01E07): A masked robber kills two bound people, and the Captain believes the victims to be the work of a copycat murderer of someone he arrested in 1999. But, Holmes suspects that it's actually someone who helped the original murderer because of a missing shoe, a small detail from the original cases. [Psycho theme song as a ringtone?]

David M. Russell/CBS

Holmes pokes around in the basement of a suspect and hears someone crying - he breaks down a door behind a cabinet and finds a woman chained inside. [oh goodness!] She says that the guy slept with her the night before, so a sex slave is his alibi. [ha!] There's some deduction over where to watch Chechnyan football and what hotels are nearby and Holmes finds Victor's room, where he picks a lock and finds a loose floorboard under a torn carpet... where there's a gun. But, Holmes realizes that Victor is blind in one eye so he doesn't have the depth perception to shoot moving targets and has been framed. [eight minutes left? how are they going to solve this? sounds like a House problem.] And, the Captain calls with another incidence of a similar crime. The original killer has no records of taking reading classes, but he's gone from being illiterate to quoting Oscar Wilde in thirteen years. They figure out who that the inmate's son volunteered to teach at the prison, and that's how the inmate learned to read. His father talked him into killing, and he gives up where the shoes are, so he'll go to jail, too. [odd.]

Watson tells Holmes that her job is to overstep boundaries to help with the healing, so she goes to his rehab center and learns how uncooperative he was during his time there... except with a maintenance man who is into beekeeping. He's been holding a bunch of things that Holmes left behind, including a pile of letters from Irene. Watson turns them over to Holmes without reading them, and he eventually tells her that Irene died and he didn't take it well. [how true is this...?]

Also, we learn that the Captain's old partner is kinda dirty. Holmes does his own ballistics comparison and finds that the same gun was used in both the old and new murders, and then he realizes that in the old interrogation tapes, a mug was used to plant evidence that allowed the police to arrest the guy - they didn't have a good cause back then! [stuff like this is severely disturbing. what if it was seriously an innocent guy??] 

Elementary "The Long Fuse" (S01E08): A bomb goes off inside the air vent of an office building, and Holmes figures out that a pager was the detonator. They're able to figure out who called the pager, but that guy was just trying to call a deli that was a single digit off. Holmes then notices that the pager's battery has an old logo and finds the newspaper bits in the bomb were from 2008, suggesting that the bomb didn't go off on-purpose... it was supposed to be detonated long ago. The reason? There was no tower for that device's company at the time! [the person building the bomb couldn't have figured this out?] Holmes tracks down the new office of the company that inhabited the bombed office in 2008, and learns that they received several threatening letters around that time. Holmes recognizes the repeated wording in some of the letters and runs a fingerprint from that guy to those found on a bomb that went off in 2005. The guy admits to building and setting off five bombs and writing the letters, but he says he didn't build this particular bomb. Holmes believes him because the smell the bomb left at the office doesn't match the type of smell that an environmentalist's bomb would have, PLUS, there's indentations on the bomb's newspaper where the handwriting doesn't match the suspect's. [between things like this and the "inattention to detail" because the other suspect's fly was down are kinda iffy for me.]

Sherlock's new suspect is a guy who was greedy for power, inhabited the office where the bomb was planted, and disappeared in 2008, never to be found. At the home of the guy, Sherlock sends the wife out into the backyard with Watson while he checks the living room wall, as a photo of the living room has the paintings in slightly different places. He deduces that the guy is IN the wall, and his killer put up new drywall and everything to hide him. [holy crow!] The wife was in Mumbai at the time he went missing, so the guy was likely the target, not the bad guy. The body has a safety deposit box key in the pocket, which yields a VHS sex tape of the guy with his female boss, who used to be a prostitute. [small world!] The guy blackmailed her for raises, but when she wouldn't continue, she killed him. The bomb didn't work so she shot him and hid him herself, using the skills of hanging dry wall that she learned from her father, a contractor. [if this episode didn't already scream HOUSE because of the various dead-ends, Lisa Edelstein guest-starring as the murderer sure solidified that!]

Watson is leaving in three weeks and tries to set-up Holmes with a sponsor. Holmes writes off the first guy nearly immediately when the guy doesn't know chemistry. They go to a meeting and Holmes wants a young car thief-turned-druggie to be his sponsor, but he stands him up for coffee. When Holmes blows off Alfredo again, the young guy comes over with a fancy car, as he tests alarm systems now and knows Holmes is into lock-picking. [I love the idea of Sherlock Holmes having a sidekick named "Alfredo." haha! think he'll stick around, tho?]

The New Normal: Jane Tweets, Shania Sings, and It's a Boy!

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

First, a complaint. I'm kinda mad that the Halloween episode has not yet aired! That one should be episode 8 by the way, but because it hasn't aired and is not even scheduled to at this point, I'm going to bypass it, as many others are doing. Problematically, they can't just wait and air it next season because Goldie is pregnant now and shouldn't be by the time next October rolls around. Anyway, on with the episodes. Ditching Jane has done wonders for my sanity and the shows likeability, but we can't keep her away forever. I particularly love how each episode builds on the couple and their apprehensions regarding the baby while managing to include a pretty decent "other" storyline as well. Pairing Jane with Rocky was kinda different but it worked. Having Goldie reach a revelation over her seamstress skills was pretty neat as well, especially when the lead-up fit so nicely for such a short backstory thus far. Whether we'll see what Shania does during her suspension remains unknown, but hopefully it will not deter this little overachiever too much!

The New Normal "Unplugged" (S01E08): Jane goes to lunch with Rocky, who talks about how she wants to produce her own television shows. [apparently they had drinks on Halloween. another reason we should have seen that episode!] Jane wants to get her California real estate license and is going to take a class at the local annex, but Rocky says that she needs to take online classes and have an internet presence. [truth.] She's on Twitter as @NanaUrBusiness and allegedly gets 422 followers after only 32 tweets. She's "telling it like it is," but insulting celebrities in the process. She decides to post a private video of Bryan's, where he sings to David about wanting a family. [blocking Bret Easton Ellis? ooookay...]

Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC

Goldie is tired and wants Shania to entertain herself with video games, but when it comes to having dinner, Goldie wants everyone to be off their devices for the meal. [haha, busting out "the shopping cart" dance move!] They decide to try "no devices on Saturdays," but Shania decides to ditch technology altogether, turning off the lights. David cheats and uses the internet to check on his fantasy football team, and when Bryan catches him David gives him five minutes, too. [haha!] A significant portion of @MrBryanCollins' 734K followers are well aware of Jane's video, and Bryan storms over there to demand she remove it. [bleh to that suit he was wearing! and I found it odd that NBC went ahead with truly using Jane's account but not Bryan's.] David had never even seen the video, as Bryan made it for their wedding day. [awww!] When Bryan gets to work, everyone has great things to say about the video so he has everyone retweet it! [oh, technology!] After Shania wakes Goldie before dawn, she's allowed to use her tablet and phone once again. [haha.]

Oh, and Bryan and David have an infant CPR lesson. [why not also have Rocky and Goldie take the class? Surely they'll be babysitting and whatnot.]

The New Normal "The XY Factor" (S01E10): As a boy, David wanted to marry Shannen Doherty and have a son with her, so he's been collecting World Series baseballs to share with his child. [really, Brenda Walsh??] David and Bryan had decided not to find out the sex via ultrasound, but the doctor's office tells Goldie that it will be a boy, and she quickly lets it slip to Bryan. [that SUCKS. I would be so angry if someone let it slip to me! and who was that sexist doctor/technician??] Bryan tells David, though he was still hoping to be surprised. [you gotta admit, it would probably be awkward for one parent to know but not the other.] Bryan is disappointed, having been hoping for a girl. David, however, is ecstatic, and immediately volunteers to coach some pee-wee football. David also wants to start making the nursery more masculine, but Bryan feels threatened, wanting to have the same connection with their child that David will have. [that's a very realistic circus theme for a nursery!] They work it out, though, as Bryan finds his strengths in obtaining arcade games and throwing an impromptu pizza party. 

Shania wants to be a contemporary "woman of note" for a school project, so rather than choose Marie Curie or Mary Todd Lincoln, she goes with Cher. [um... what??!?] Bryan and Goldie are thrilled with the job Shania does, but the other parents are a little uncomfortable and Shania receives an "F," plus a suspension for violating the school's policy on hate speech. [I can see how her song violated the rules and am surprised that Goldie didn't take any issue with it. Maybe David should have gotten more involved, LoL.] Goldie fights it, going into the principal's office in her royal blue lawyer suit jacket with all of the legal jargon she can muster. [that was kinda sad, actually.] Still, she's told that rules are rules, and Goldie is greatly disappointed in herself. But, she realizes that she might not want to be a lawyer after all, but a costume/fashion designer!

Suburgatory: Dalia Does a Favor, Lisa Annoys Tessa

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I'm still not a fan of Dallas and George. Her "faking" was very annoying for me, as was how flippant Dalia can be from one moment to the next. It was semi-interesting to have the Ks follow around someone else for a change, but I don't think it lasted long enough to be truly intriguing. Additionally, Tessa is just too good at heart sometimes and it's driving me crazy. Oh, and Tessa has a Microsoft Surface, in case you missed it. I'm not sure how you could have, because the entire episode of "Friendship Fish" was a love-fest with the tablet. Not that I have a problem with it (I accompanied two friends to the Microsoft Store the morning they went on sale), but I thought it was so forced I was laughing at times. Did you find it as contrived as I did?

Suburgatory "Foam Finger" (S02E04): Dallas repeats a crazy entrance to impress George... including a gospel choir! After kissing, Dallas claims that she's had an orgasm and is tuckered out. [um... WHAT??] They decide to take Tessa and Dalia to Chinese to tell them about their new relationship, and though Tessa takes it well, Dalia is secretly upset. She's got a lot of issues, though, as her father and Wan'Er eloped. Dallas is so hurt, in face, that she decides to help a geek with a magic trick, but Tessa helps break that up and gets Dalia's hair back to blond from the brunette she had dyed it to match the bride's. [this was a screwy storyline that was made worse by Dalia and Tessa only getting along in a "when I need you, be there. otherwise, stay away" relationship. and what was with that Jewish ritual to Evan's picture??]

 ABC/ADAM TAYLOR

After Dallas spreads the news that George is great in bed, he tries to correct the guys in the locker room, then tells her that they need to be real... so they get to it.

 ABC/ADAM TAYLOR

While Dalia is off being emo (having told the Ks that she's going to Singapore for her father's second wedding), her posse flocks to Tessa, who pawns them off on Lisa. [all because Tessa told them not to walk in the street?? get real!]

Suburgatory "Friendship Fish" (S02E06): Dallas gives George a makeover, just before his friends from Manhattan show up. [at least he didn't wind up looking like Noah!] After he serves them diet grapefruit spritzers, they question what he's been up to. [yeah, I would, too.] He talks about installing skylights as his main line of work now, and they call him a "Real Housewife," so they go to dinner so George can try to act tough once more. [haha!] The guys keep talking about how fake everything is around there, and Fred and Noah show up to act like George's posse. [Grease is the best that Fred can do? mashing the male AND female roles of the 50s??] Theo and Cyrus are not impressed by Dallas, either, and George winds up leaving the dinner early. [If George went to college with Theo, wouldn't he also known Noah? or wouldn't that at least be a talking point?] Dallas suggests that George get them back by under-cutting their bid on a big upcoming project, but it doesn't work out.

Lisa and Malik's breakup was messy, and while he's willing to talk things out, she just wants her scrunchies back. [oh, Lisa!] Lisa is lonely and decides to spend time with Tessa, bringing a trunk of "sleepover essentials," like stuff to scrapbook, airbrush, and tie-dye... as well as a dead fish she got at summer macrame camp. Legend has it that if two people partake of the same fish, they'll be friends forever, and Lisa has been smoking the fish with an electric smoker in her bedroom closet for four weeks. [holy.cow.] After stalling as long as she could (carving watermelon helmets and airbrushing t-shirts),Tessa is momentarily saved from eating the fish when a caricaturist shows up and does a drawing of the girls. [I didn't get that... Lisa had arranged for a caricaturist to do random drawings??] To save herself, Tessa calls Sheila anonymously as a fire marshal, so Lisa has to leave. [hahaha!] But, Tessa comes clean the next day, and they eat some of the fish... which lands Tessa in the hospital with food poisoning. [Tessa is so sweet it's ridiculous.] When the hospital couldn't reach George, Tessa's grandmother, Helen, is called, and she's worried that Tessa needs her more than she thought. [not sure that adding her as a recurring character is going to work for me. what do you think?]

Hot in Cleveland: Meet Joy's Grandson

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I'm not sure how, but I managed to forget that there was going to be a baby-at-the-doorstep moment in this episode. Too bad it only lasted for a split-second before the situation is explained as Joy's new-found son's surprise child. Tragically, the baby's name is Wilbur Burr. Owen not being sure if he's ready to parent is perfectly understandable, but a) shouldn't he request a paternity test first? and b) Melanie is really the only one of the three girls with mothering experience, so the idea that they'll all be able to help equally is a bit absurd. Baby aside, I thought that the return of Pierre was entertaining, and Elka getting a new 'do from his brother to be different. The look (seen below) is quite different for Elka, but an intriguing change for Betty White, whose iconic look has not changed much over the past thirty years or more. Do you think Elka will keep it? How do you think it would suit Betty?

Hot in Cleveland "That Changes Everything" (S04E01): Joy's son, Owen, shows up with his infant son, Wilbur, from a one-night stand. [figures that Victoria would be more excited about Owen giving up gluten than having a child!] Joy wants to show that she could be a terrific grandmother so Owen won't put the child up for adoption, but she knows she must support whatever decision Owen makes. [Victoria's ignorance about babies was frightening.] Joy's skills, however, include mixing up tanning wipes with baby wipes, dropping a black marker in the bassinet, and getting the infant's foot stuck in cement. [yikes!]

Victoria takes Wilbur on an audition, figuring that if he had a job, he'd have to stay around. [not the worst logic she has ever used! her small issues after that with trying to figure out how to deliver lines without context for a Woody Allen movie were pretty funny.] But, she brings home the wrong infant and the girls all go with her to the studio to make the exchange. While there, Melanie talks up Cleveland to a complaining actress and lands a job promoting the city. [she's only lived there a couple of years... seems like an odd fit to me. or maybe not...] Unfortunately, she's immediately giving up her blouse and shoes so her boss can wear them to a meeting. [Melanie flirting in the elevator was disastrous.] Her next day she has to work on creating a thriving Dixieland Jazz scene, and it seems that her elevator crush is her co-boss... and the ex-husband of the woman who hired her! [figures. conflict!] He's been the most-eligible bachelor in Cleveland for five years, but Chloe isn't over him so she forbids Melanie from making any moves. [what kind of catastrophe do you think will befall her next?]

Pierre is still around, but he's starting to blow-off Elka so she has her hair done by his brother, Etienne, to make him jealous. [haha at Joy being the expert on brush-offs.] 

facebook.com/hotincleveland

Pierre winds up serving as the voice of reason when Owen tries to act like an actuary and weigh the risks without emotion, thinking that adoption would be best. Pierre points out that everyone wants to keep the baby, so Owen decides to move to Cleveland so the ladies can help raise his son. [not sure how I feel about this potential character recurring...]

Ben and Kate: Ben Tries New Careers

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

If Will and Kate are neighbors, how do their children go to the same school? We know that Kate lied and then got a waiver to have Maddie in the elementary school she goes to, but what's the situation with Will's child? That nitpick aside, I found Ben's jumping from wine merchant to golf-ball-poacher in this pair of episodes to be problematic. One on hand, it shows just how immature Ben is and how his life could go anywhere at any moment. On the other, it's a bit annoying and makes you wonder how long he'll be a gimmicky character with no steady income. I mean, who really thinks that RailMall will take off? When's the last time you even bothered to flip through SkyMall? On that note, I'd like to hear more about how Kate pays for that house on a waitress's salary. I mean, we all know it's only a matter of time (if the show lasts) until Kate decides to go back to school... she's just that "type." No?

Ben and Kate "Career Day" (S01E06): Kate flirts with the neighbor she met on Halloween and hits a car while parallel parking. [are you serious??] She tells Ben not to snoop on Will, a social worker for at-risk youth, but he does the opposite... first he talks to him at Maddie's school, then invites him over for dinner, calling it a neighborhood barbecue. [hahaha! loved Kate's purple dress, though!] Will and Kate decide to go on an actual date, and Kate admits that she spooks easily. When Ben finds out that Will left his wife a year ago, he barges over and confronts him about it, so we learn that the issues was Will's wife never put their daughter first. [kinda corny.]

Ben wants to go to Maddie's school for career day, but she doesn't think he has a career. So, Ben and Tommy talk about potential careers and think that maybe Ben could be a wine merchant, as he once dated a French woman who sent him a bunch of bottles. [and he buried them underground? what?? I did laugh pretty hard about "the quickie world of meteorology."] Tommy offers to play the race card to get them into a local restaurant, but Ben wants to wait it out, and they decide to sell wine door-to-door. [perhaps even crazier...]

Cr: Jennifer Clasen/FOX

They also host a tasting at Ben's house, complete with winesicles. [yeah, I wanna try those...] In the end, Ben goes to Maddie's class to talk about how he still doesn't know what he wants his career to be - trying is what matters! But, he also throws in some lines about not going to college and partying in Europe and loses the kids. [of course.] 

Ben and Kate "Guitar Face" (S01E08): [haha on Ben teaching Maddie "milk pong" to get her to drink milk.] BJ is upset that Kate doesn't pay that much attention to her anymore, so when she goes to find Will's wife at a support group (to tell her to come watch Will's band), she winds up staying, upset over how Kate spends all of her time with Maddie and Will. BJ (going by "Penny" in the group) even thinks that she could have a career in counseling.

Oh, yeah, the band. Will is in a ZZ Top cover band and invites Kate to see him play. Kate freaks out, and at the concert realizes that Will makes his "sex face" when playing the guitar. [anyone else flashback to how Friends' Monica makes sex noises when she gets massaged?] She couldn't stop laughing so she has to tell him, and he decides not to speak to her. [awww.] Problematically, Kate tells the others about it and they're joking around when Will walks in, making it even more difficult for him to accept her apology, but once she offers to go on-stage and make faces while the band plays, they're reconciled. [odd.]

Tommy gets Ben a job at the country club, working a snack cart. [Ben has Maddie stick her hand in the garbage disposal to look for his keys?? yikes!] His angle is to pitch golfers his start-up ideas, but he quickly jumps ship to the newest money-making idea, diving for golf balls in the lake! [RailMall?? also, remember the episode of Yes, Dear where Jimmy does the golf ball thing and immediately realizes it's a going-nowhere idea?] Tommy asks Ben not to poach the balls but he does it anyway, getting them both fired. Tommy puts Ben "in the penalty box," and Ben decides to let Tommy drive a bucket of balls at him. After the first, Ben's down and the manager comes over... the smooth-talking Fox gets them their jobs back AND an investor in RailMall. [1, 2, 3, unrealistic!]

Go On: Ryan is Ready to Date Again

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

This is not the first time we've seen a "patient" fall for their "doctor," but it's a pretty weak attempt by Ryan to snag Lauren. Though we all know that Wyatt and Lauren are a terrible couple, I can't see Ryan and Lauren being great together, either. Besides, it was kinda expected that he'd eventually make a move on her, and about half-way into the first season is a typical sitcom fit. Moving on... problematically, although this series premiered during the big Summer Sports Extravaganza, it's been quite a while now and the appearance of volleyball superstar Misty May Treanor was probably lost to many viewers. Good try, though! The even larger issue with this episode is that it's already calling back on multiple events that have taken place previously... so is it supposed to be more of a drama? I don't think a first-time viewer would have been too lost, but it certainly didn't seem like an episode that someone could just randomly watch in syndication a few years down the road... right?

Go On "Back, Back, Back... It's Gone!" (S01E10): Ryan decides that he's ready to date again and has Carrie help him get together an online profile together while he tries to meet more women. Misty May Treanor invites Ryan to play volleyball, but instead of charming girls he winds up hurting his back. BUT, the widower card does get him six emails!

Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC

The next day, Ryan decides to go for a kiss with Lauren, but she makes it clear that they are not meant to be. Ryan is paranoid that Wyatt saw him, but after he admits to his sin Wyatt just blames it on Florence Nightingale Syndrome. [we now have the Chubbies and the Saddies. I prefer "Bummer People."] Ryan starts timing when he goes outside to read the paper so he can watch a young girl jog by, and he decides to go after her, though we don't see what happens. [haha, I would totally do that!]

Now, on to the rest of the group. First, Fausta lost the group cat. Sonia and Danny are the only ones who take it seriously, and Sonia goes around "speaking cat" at trees while Fausta finds the feline in her oven. Danny decides to play the hero and discover the "missing" pet. [so a possible inter-group romance? ooookay. the bigger question, however, is HOW DID THE CAT GET IN THE OVEN??] The other group event going on is a party for George, celebrating that he has lived longer than the doctors predicted. Yolanda throws the party but George was hoping for something more "intense," and leaves to seek it out on his own. [haha about everyone talks about how he accidentally dials all of them often.]

Cake Boss: A Betty White Cake & an Update on Mama

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Surprise! I was well aware that Cake Boss: Next Great Baker was starting up again, but I didn't realize that Cake Boss was also returning to the air. It's been a few months (the most recent episode aired in July), and I was expecting some bright summer-themed cakes to bring us back. Imagine my surprise when we were able to watch the guys come up with a life-sized Betty White cake in just one day! What I found most interesting, however, was that Buddy talked of how they would prefer about four days to work on such a cake... after he gave the contestants of Next Great Baker only ten hours to create replicas of his sisters last season. Regardless, I'm glad that the series has returned and I look forward to seeing what great masterpieces will be unveiled this time around.

Cake Boss "A Golden Opportunity" (S05E17): Buddy goes to the Friar's Club where he's tasked with making a Betty White cake for her roast after-party. He wants to do a life-size replica, but the event is the next day, shocking him. When he gets back to the bakery, everyone laughs at the idea of trying to do this in a single day, but Buddy works on the body, Ralph does the head, and the end result amazes Betty. [and me! I'm with her, the dress is just lovely!]

TLC

Buddy's mother comes to the bakery to see how the renovations are going, and the whole family sits in Buddy's office as he takes a conference call with several doctors to figure out what they should do for Mama's condition. Nothing solid came about, but they've decided to make her more creamy, fattening foods. Buddy makes a meal of veal cultets with rice alfredo with his wife's help, and everyone enjoys it. [I'm not a big veal person, but between this show and Kitchen Boss, I keep thinking that maybe I should try it again!]

RETURNING: Cake Boss: Next Great Baker

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

We've given you the basics on the contestants for this season's Cake Boss: Next Great Baker, and now it's time to take a look at how they did on the premiere episode. I wasn't overly "wowed" by any single contestant, but quite a few qualify as my early favorites, and I think that everyone has something to offer. Because there's quite a bit to unpack with this baker's dozen of contestants, let's get right down to it.

Cake Boss: Next Great Baker "Game On!" (S03E01):
Baker's Challenge: Bake something to show your culinary point-of-view and deliver it to Buddy in Manhattan via ferry and on-foot. The big change from years past, however, is that Buddy will not be trying all of the items - he'll try the first one to arrive and then the four best looking and/or sounding, but the last one to arrive will be eliminated immediately. [It's a little troubling that sight and sound are preferred to taste for baked goods, in my opinion. I wonder if this will be an ongoing change for the season?]

I anticipated the time crunch to make a big difference, and was surprised when everyone made the same ferry anyway. When it comes to the footrace, however, Peter is the last to arrive, with Melissa beating him by about 90 seconds. Buddy tries Emme's (she arrives first), Ashley's, James', Chad's, and Gretel-Ann's respective dishes, with Chad's Chambord and chocolate ganache torte with pistachio crust winning. [I had a hunch that the winner would be Chad or Ashley, given Buddy's original remarks.] Chad's advantage is that he is able to wait to hear what who the teams are for the Elimination Challenge and then he will be able to choose which team to join. [sensible and predicted prize.]

Ashley made a brown sugar and bourbon pie with a cookie crust. Buddy tried it and found the flavor to be interesting. [good, because a negative review would probably make her even more scared of him!] Emme had a cinnamon roll cake that she chose to make because it's sturdy. But, Buddy found it grainy and dry. James made a bourbon chocolate pecan cake, but Buddy didn't care for the frosting. [what's with all of the bourbon?] Gretel-Ann dished out a refreshing apple-cranberry crostada with cheddar pie dough (which is now available at her shoppe). The other items included Paul's chunk-a-monk cupcakes that "didn't look inviting," Jess's Blueberry Boy Bait (blueberry and cinnamon-flavored), Garrett's peanut butter, bacon, and banana fried pie (I thought it was neat but Buddy passed), Jen's white chocolate brownie with raspberry and almond that was "boring," Chris' triple chocolate brownie, Letty's dark chocolate bark, and Melissa's lemon poundcake with fresh raspberries that "didn't look great." Peter's unseen item was chocolate salted caramel brownies. 

Elimination Challenge: Design a groom's cake for engaged celebrity clients Mario Lopez and Courtney Mazza. The couple talk about how their wedding in Mexico will be on the beach and that Mario would like the cake to embrace the culture, be festive, and be a bachelor party in itself. [even I had ideas for this one!] Gretel-Ann asks about his other interests, to which he responds his daughter, his dog, and working out. Courtney wants it elegant and classy, so no pinatas! They get 7 hours to do a three-foot-tall cake, and, as an extra incentive, the MVP of the winning team will win a 5-night trip for two to Mexico. [nice!]

Buddy doesn't explain how he decides the teams, but after he sorts the contestants, Chad chooses to join James, Emme, and Jen. [The bottom two cakes being destroyed was interesting to watch.] Now, we'll look at what each group did in the order of best finished product to worst...

Team 1: Paul (the cupcake expert who received his culinary training in the Navy and baked for a submarine of guys), Jess (a runner who gave her backstory as a rap), and Ashley (the model-turned-cake-decorator with a rolling pin tattooed on her bicep). Ashley took charge and suggested a lot of small details for their cake, like a sculpted bulldog, a cactus, antique boxes, tiles, and a pair of boxing gloves. [I didn't hear Mario mention boxing, so that shows a little extra knowledge/research on their part.] Ashley worked on the dog and impressed herself and the other - it turns out the be the best part of the cake and the reason that Mario and Courtney chose this as the winning dessert! AND, for her efforts on the dog, Jess and Paul (and Buddy!) gave her the MVP award. Additionally, Courtney loved the tiles and how the cake really fit the vision. However, Buddy thought that the details being on the base of the cake was not ideal, but it was the cleanest cake of the batch. [I thought the height wasn't great - a tip of a cactus being three feet tall to meet the requirement? weaker in that area than some of the others.] 

TLC

Team 2: Melissa (who is accustomed to doing fancy wedding cakes, not tacky, garish ones), Peter (a funny guy who isn't featured much this episode),and Chris (America's choice who learned most of his skills from watching television). Chris wanted to do a tree with a pinata, which Melissa was skeptical about but thought it pulled together in the end. Even Courtney found the pinata classy, though Mario wasn't a fan of the Italian parts of the cake (like the slice of pizza). [yeah, it's a fine line to please both people in a situation like that, but, the cake was really for Mario and I would have listened to him, as most of the teams did.] Buddy thought the cake wasn't polished and the pinata was oversized and should have hung out further, but the colors of the cake went together.

Team 3: Letty (a self-described dictator), Gretel-Ann (a small business owner on the verge of shutting down), and Garrett (the one who wants to show his old HS buddies that he's successful). Because Buddy called Letty's name first for the group, she believed that she was supposed to be the leader. He doesn't check on the teams at any point during the process, so she is not corrected until after it's over. Her idea was to have crates with things falling out, like a Mexican blankets and a pinata. Gretel-Ann didn't want to do a pinata because of Courtney's reactions, so they replace it with a dog that Garrett sculpted. [I thought it was thoughtful that Gretel-Ann spoke up to try to create a cake that both Mario and Courtney would like, but it only seemed to start off her problems with Letty!] Letty struggled with creating the structure for the cake, and when she came back after two hours in the workroom, she hated the "paint job" that Gretel-Ann was doing on the blanket so she covered it in fondant strips, afraid that Courtney would hate the blanket for being "too loud." [this made it hilarious later when Courtney didn't recognize it as a blanket at all! PLUS, calling it "ghetto" was a little much.] The crates don't have enough support and begin to give (apparently Letty is not familiar with stacked cakes), plus the dog falls over. [the dog wasn't great anyway.] None of the judges liked the blanket, and Garrett explained how Letty messed with it after the initial one was finished. Gretel-Ann explained that Letty took charge and didn't listen to ideas, but Letty claims she has standards higher than Gretel-Ann's. [yeah, neither of these ladies are my favorite at the moment!]

Team 4: James (who really just wants to make it past the first round), Emme (self-proclaimed independent woman), Jen (who watches herself because she's used to being the boss), and Chad (who probably has the most impressive resume and runs barefoot through Manhattan when his clogs become problematic). Chad took the lead and suggested that the focus be a guitar and sombrero. Chad made the guitar, James did mosaic tiles, and Emme worked on the sombrero, though she had many questions and kept asking for help. [she certainly didn't seem "independent" to me.] Jen was concerned about Emme's lack of confidence, and James ended up creating the support for the sombrero. Unfortunately, it needed more support than he planned and the hat crushed the edge of the cake. Plus, the strings wouldn't stay on the guitar, though Courtney and Mario thought that was intentional. [ha!] Buddy found the whole thing to be on an amateur level and awarded them last place, especially considering that they had an extra person. Buddy asked the group who the weakest link was, and Jen suggested James should go home because his sombrero support was what failed. Emme agreed with this assessment, but James jumped in to talk about how he bailed out Emme on the sombrero, and Chad added that Emme was weaker than James because she needed so much attention that it took him away from his own responsibilities. With that, Jen changed her mind to agree that Emme was the weakest link, so she's sent home without a fight.

Last Man Standing: Eve Drinks, Mandy Works

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I am SO glad that this season is getting better! I could still do without NewKristin and AgedBoyd, and a little more Kyle/workplace wouldn't hurt, but we're getting there. I was taken aback by some of the things that were said in "High Expectations" ...it was really dated/ignorant in places, I thought. There's a time to make jokes of politically incorrect phrases, but too many is no good. I was also not a fan of Eve surrendering to peer pressure in such a short period of time... couldn't they have her "sliding downhill" or something? With the other episode, I thought that Mandy giving her tips to Kristin was too unrealistic for the materialistic pop princess. Regardless of seeing the struggles of her older sister, it was a bit of a leap in a single day. What did you think?

Last Man Standing "High Expectations" (S02E03): Someone egged the Baxters' cars and another couple on the block. [...why?] After Mike washes his family's cars, Kristin is afraid the new neighbors (a black family) will feel singled out. Vanessa agrees, but Mike doesn't want to talk to them. [haha, remember his issues with neighbors in the past?] Vanessa decides to go over there but she quickly puts her foot in her mouth repeatedly and winds up inviting them for drinks on Friday night because there's an awkward pause. [seriously? why is inviting people over her default?] When they arrive, things are awkward until Mike decides to tell the truth and he and Chuck hit it off. [the "crackers" joke was too far.]

ABC/CARIN BAER

While the adults are entertaining, Mandy is auditioning for a solo in show choir but has to leave early to help Eve, who gets plastered at a party when she was supposed to be at soccer practice. [nice of Mandy!] Mandy covers for her sister as well as she can, but Vanessa and Mike still catch their youngest daughter falling over when she tries to get upstairs. This promptly ends Eve's attempt to quit soccer and move on to other things, as she proves that she can't make good decisions. [I'm still in disbelief that she managed to suck so much at life so quickly.] Mike initially blames Mandy but eventually believes the truth.

Last Man Standing "Ed's Twice Ex-Wife" (S02E04): Mandy complains because every swimsuit she tries on looks amazing. [insert #firstworldproblems.] She wants $2,000 to go to Cancun for her senior trip but Mike and Vanessa suggest she get a job. Mandy wants to waitress with Kristin and winds up being a real charmer, earning lots of tips on her first shift. [all of those fake Vanessa lines became ridiculous. I also wasn't happy that Mandy made Kristin make mistakes.] But, by the time she's home and exhausted, she realizes how hard Kristin's life is and gives her the $73 in tips. [still unbelievable!]

While this is going on, Wanda, Ed's first and third ex-wife, comes to the store to demand half of Ed's vineyard, which he kept off his list of property when they got divorced. Ed wants to figure out how she learned of it, and Mike realizes that Vanessa keeps in touch with her and spilled the beans. ["squeezing Ed's grapes" was funny.] Vanessa doesn't think there's anything wrong with Ed's ex-wife wanting a fair share, and when Mike tells Ed that Vanessa was the betrayer, the guy heads to Vanessa's office to seek advice in getting back Wanda! [i really didn't follow this... WHY?] The two are vastly different but give it another try anyway. Vanessa and Mike the spend the rest of the episode talking about which person of every couple they'd "get" if they (or the other couple) divorced. [kinda odd in a way, when you consider how much time they spend avoiding other couples regularly!]

Breaking Amish: The Final Interviews

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Well, this mess is finally over. I added quite a few remarks in the recap below, and I don't have much to say about it overall except for the fact that I didn't care for the moderator and I am glad that this show is over. Hopefully TLC will stop doing reality series featuring non-mainstream religious groups.

Walling McGarity/TLC

Breaking Amish "The Shunning Truth, Part 2" (Special): The first thing addressed is the internet controversy over how "true" the show is - they all say they weren't acting and that only ex-Amish are digging up dirt. [well, no. plenty of people with no Amish affiliation went searching to see if the stories of these young people were true.] The group then talks about how they had saved up money because they don't spend much on a lot of things - it certainly wasn't from the payout of this show, as Rebecca mentions that they received less than $50,000.

Jeremiah talks about how he has left the Amish multiple times and kept returning. [this is one of those fuzzy facts that could have been more clear. at this point it's become obvious that many sins don't shun you for life, but how (and why) does he keep coming back?] He explains that he has three children (ages 7, 5, and 3) with his ex-wife, Naomi Stutzman, who claimed he was abusive multiple times, though each instance was thrown out in court. He pays child support (though he didn't always do so), and, when he's in Ohio, he sees the children every other weekend; while he's living in Pennsylvania, he sees them once a month. [I'm still unclear about WHY he's living in Ohio. with Sabrina.] Naomi has left the Amish and is raising the children outside the community. He is also shocked that people believe the internet over interviews.

Sabrina talks about how her divorce is in the process of finalizing. She also explains that she's been using Sun-In forever so she hasn't been completely true to the Mennonite faith for quite some time. [holy cow! I had forgotten all about Sun-In!]

Kate says that she's in Florida now and has two more classes to take, then probation for her DUI, and she plans to return to modeling after all of that is over

Rebecca is asked about a pool party where she wore a bikini, and she says that she had snuck out. She also explains that her teeth were not pulled as punishment, but they were decayed and she had them pulled to stop the pain. [the fact that she had "no clue" how old she was when they were pulled was kinda unbelievable and disturbing. could she not figure out if the answer was "14 or 15" or "17 or 18"?] Rebecca also says that she and Abe were on Rumspringa together but she was dating someone else at the time, so they did know one another a little better than was let on during the early episodes. Abe and Rebecca are asked about whether they dated or lived together before the show, but neither gives a clear response at all. Abe even tells the host to stop asking questions about the baby and everyone but Kate jumps to the defense of Rebecca, saying she shouldn't have to answer questions about her child. Abe explains that he moved to Kentucky and did know about the baby, but he didn't know that Rebecca was married before. [just how common is it for these kids to move other places? and are there many Amish in Kentucky and North Dakota? and did Rebecca ride in a rental car or something all the way to North Dakota and back??]

Abe was arrested for underage drinking when he was 18, and his parents never knew. [the comment by the moderator that "they will now," was a bit odd... is she assuming that his AMISH parents are going to watch television?? or just that someone will write about that bit in a newspaper and they'll read about it?]

Thanksgiving Roundup: The Middle, The Neighbors, Suburgatory, Go On, Ben and Kate, The New Normal, Guys with Kids

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Happy Thanksgiving! If you're up early watching the parade, cooking, or preparing for football, we thought you'd like a nice run-down of some of this year's new Thanksgiving episodes. You can find several of them online, so if you need a break later on today (and don't want to watch more traditional holiday programming), consider giving some of these a try. First, the nutshell reviews and then the full recaps with remarks. 

The Middle: Everyone loves a great love story, and this episode has Brick enjoying a book about Love Story, Axl starting a new relationship, and Frankie's parents re-living their first date.

The Neighbors: The Weavers deal with having the Bird-Kersees over for the holiday while entertaining Marty's parents as well. In addition, Larry has to come to terms with Jackie's rebellious sisters.

Suburgatory: Tessa heads to Manhattan to see her mother and grandmother for the holiday, but her mother is nowhere to be found. When she returns home to a motley crew of recurring characters in her home, she is greeted by her long-lost mother as well.

Go On: The group decides to have Thanksgiving together, and Ryan decides to host it at the radio station because a) he's working and b) he wants to keep Steven from moving in on a potential love interest.

Ben and Kate: The night before Thanksgiving is a high school reunion for multiple grade levels, allowing Ben and Tommy to be cool kids once more while Kate (who is now on boyfriend-girlfriend level with Will) struggles to confront a bully.

The New Normal: David, Bryan, Goldie, and Rocky all have painful past experiences with Thanksgiving but decide to invite their families to celebrate together for the future of the baby. Things don't go as planned and each guest is booted from the event anyway.

Guys with Kids: Sheila wants to host for Chris and all of his friends' families while Gary is obsessed with purchasing a TV on Black Friday.

The Middle "Thanksgiving IV" (S04E08): [I thought it was funny that Frankie won't pay ten cents per bag at the grocery store so she carries everything herself.] Axl continues to flirt with his tutor, Cassidy. His foot also healed two weeks quicker than expected, so he's excited to get back on the field for the big game. But, his tutor says that football is a waste, causing Axl to wonder what he's doing. He decides to not let fear get in his way and he confesses to Cassidy that he likes her, inviting her to watch him play. [interesting... is Axl maturing?] But, her boyfriend is coming into town so she can't. He tries to cover by acting like he's inviting everyone to the game. [this reminded me of the first time my now-husband ever called me...] Meanwhile, the mascot head has been stolen by a rival school and Sue recruits Brad to help her get it back. Brad tries to have a "dance fight" but he gets beat up. [yep!] Sue tries to make a head on her own, but when that doesn't work she winds up wearing a bear head to the game. [I found it odd that nobody else really got involved with this plotline.] Axl overthinks playing and fumbles three times, so Sue gives him a pep-talk and he gets it together. [and we're supposed to believe that he listens to her now? wow, maybe he IS growing up!] Things end well for him as a scout reminds him that East Indiana really wants him AND Cassidy kisses him, telling her she broke up with her boyfriend. 

ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL

Now, the dinner-part of Thanksgiving... Frankie wants to host a couple of marines and is incredibly awkward about it, even saying the Pledge of Allegiance before Thanksgiving dinner. [ha!] Her parents make things worse when her father keeps droning on about nutrition (he lost four pounds recently). Things go so haywire at dinner that the Marines leave before dessert! 

The Neighbors "Thanksgiving is for the Bird-Kersees" (S01E08): [loved the early Marty line: "What could be more American than eating food to make room for more food?"] Jackie is profoundly depressed because she misses her sisters, who were exiled ten years ago for trying to overthrow Larry. [what was up with that crop-circle-like design??] Dick and Reggie decide to go visit the prisoners and invite them to Thanksgiving. Against his better judgment and sense of self-preservation, Larry does decide to let them be free once again. [though I hope that they're not going to be regulars!]

Marty is excited about Thanksgiving because he thinks he'll be able to impress his parents for once, but Debbie is stressed because she always gets criticized over her cooking. Marty suggests that they un-invite his parents and do things their way, and he makes up a lie about how the oven is broken. [...really?] But, as his parents begin to think that his new house is too small, he decides to let them come to show that he's doing well. [I'm surprised that Debbie isn't more upset about Marty's cowardice there!] But, they'll still be doing a deep-fried turkey. When the duo arrive, Marty's father doesn't even want a tour of the house while his mother gives the children hand-knit sweaters. [yeesh!] After Marty's mother starts in on everything about Debbie, her house, and her children, she stands up for herself and Marty defends her as well, sending his mother to sulk in the car. Dick decides to help by talking to Marty's mother about "changing the game" and not forcing mothers-in-law to keep their daughters-in-law "on their toes." [odd coming from Dick.] When she comes in, she actually compliments Debbie on her turkey, though everyone else dislikes it. 

ABC/PETER "HOPPER" STONE

Suburgatory "The Wishbone" (S02E05): Tessa wants to spend Thanksgiving with her mother in Manhattan. But, George plans to go to Dallas's for Thanksgiving this year, though without costumes. Dalia wants a Caribbean theme, but after Dallas finds out that Tessa won't be there, she decides to fire the chef and cook herself to "rally around" George. [um, I smell disaster!] But, George tries to cook and ruins potatoes trying not to have to pay "guest Alan" for advice. [I did think that $8 was a bit steep for a small pinch of advice! and, Carmen took the baby to see a witch doctor??]

Over at Lisa's, she's freaking out over how close Malik is getting to the family when Sheila invites him for Thanksgiving. Malik played touch-football with his family so he takes a shower when he gets there, but Sheila winds up seeing him naked, distressing Lisa more. 

ABC/ADAM TAYLOR

In Manhattan, Alex, Tessa's mother, is a no-show. She was supposed to bring the main course, so Tessa leaves early. When she gets home, Alex is there, initially thinking that Dalia is Tessa. [ha!] George is pretty upset that Alex didn't do what she was supposed to, but after some initial shock, Tessa and Alex talk. [the fake-snoring thing was awkward.]

Go On "Dinner Takes All" (S01E09): The group decides to have Thanksgiving together. ["Peter? sweetie, that's low self-esteem!" was hilarious! and cute The Brady Bunch moment with the heads!] Amy, a girl Ryan and Steven knew in college, is in town for a job interview and is staying with Ryan. [can we keep Lauren Graham, please? love her!] Amy and Ryan try to joke with Steven about how he doesn't know sports. But, Steven and Ryan both have feelings for her, and because of a broken fold-out couch, they share Ryan's bed, which makes him uncomfortable. [I bet!] So, when Steven announces that he's going to take Amy to Santa Barbara for Thanksgiving, Ryan decides that he should host Thanksgiving at the office and make his assistant do the cooking. [I thought that was rude, even for him!]

Ryan orders the group to create a de-sexualized atmosphere, but things get awkward quickly when Lauren offends Owen's mother and several of the others start bothering Amy. [Ann's two adopted children adoring Ryan wasn't as funny as I think it should have been.] Ryan decides to confront Steven, asking him to step aside because he might want to make a move in the future. So, they go to a bar and play an old game of see-how-many-sips-of-other-people's-drinks-you-can-take-before-getting-punched. [seriously? has anyone heard of anything like this before?] Ryan wins, almost breaking the ten-drink barrier. Ryan admits to Amy what's going on, and she tells him he has no chance with her right now - she won't be the first one after Janie, though she's always had feelings for him. [meh. I thought that was a weak way to end it... some far-off-future nonsense?]

(Photo by: Colleen Hayes/NBC)

Ben and Kate "Reunion" (S01E07): Ben and Tommy rescue a live turkey from the mall (people were bidding on it to eat for Thanksgiving) and Kate decides to let them keep it, though they later drop it off at a preserve.

Kate and Ben's high school reunion is the night before Thanksgiving, and Kate isn't looking forward to it because there was a girl who made her life miserable. [such an informal reunion! and I'll never understand how the multiple-grades thing plays on TV, with the exception of teeny schools like on Wings.] Will decides to go and help Kate "slay the dragon." [Kate AND Ben played Jesus Christ in Jesus Christ Superstar? how often did their school do that musical??] It's been eight years and Kate isn't thrilled with where she is in life, so she's not thrilled when the mean girl plays innocent.

Cr: Jennifer Clasen/FOX

Will tries to get the girls to do a sing-off, but Kate doesn't think she needs to prove anything. [um, okay?] She decides to brag about her awesome boyfriend, and that's the end of it. Plus, Tommy wants to make an entrance at the reunion, and resorts to asking Maddie for ideas. [not sure why this happened.] She suggests that he "lose the fro." Luckily, he doesn't go through with it.

Perhaps the bigger story, however, is that Ben and BJ got married seven years ago and kate doesn't know. Ben wants to tell because mail is coming to her house addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Ben Fox," but BJ thinks that the appropriate window has passed and they should just keep it a secret forever. Well, BJ decides to break the news during Kate's Thanksgiving toast... being even more honest than Ben expected. He thought it was a green-card-marriage when really BJ has dual citizenship but made Ben marry her so that he'd be around if Kate needed him, as he was going to head to Indonesia right when Kate became  pregnant. [I understand how this is supposed to be sweet, but it's a bit too odd.] 

The New Normal "Pardon Me" (S01E09): Goldie, Rocky, and the guys dish about how they don't like their family Thanksgivings so they decide to start their own traditions. [haha, Rocky wants to charge for the time spent having Thanksgiving with them!] Bryan and Shania go to get a turkey but didn't know that they'd have to choose a live one and kill it themselves, so they buy them all to liberate them, keeping them as pets. [what kind of theme is this??] After David's mother gives him a guilt trip, Shania suggests that everyone bury the hatchets and invite their families, including Goldie's grandmother, Shania's dad, Rocky's half-brother, and David's parents. [nobody for Bryan? I laughed at Jane as "the last real American, along with Newt Gingrich."] David's parents get through a fight and then get wild with one another. Then, Clay goes to hit Rocky's brother when he realizes that the guy has had a relationship going with Goldie for some time now.

(Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC)

Plus, Jane flips at the idea of a meatless Thanksgiving (they're having tofurkey at Shania's request) and goes hunting the backyard turkeys with a cleaver. [seriously??] All of the extra folks get kicked out, the tofurkey is terrible, and the core group orders pizza, deciding that they'll deal with families on Christmas but keep Thanksgiving sane in the future.  

Guys with Kids "Thanksgiving" (S01E09): Gary has decided that six months is too long to go without a television, so he plans to spend three days in line to get a Black Friday ultra-deal: a $4,000 television for $100. [say WHAT?? also, my brother will be spending the holiday in a similar situation, so I don't fault people who choose to do so.] Marny isn't upset that he could miss Thanksgiving with the family because she thinks he'll quickly wimp out. He starts out as the second person in line, but nobody will huddle with him and he gets upset. Marny tries to reason with him after one night on the street, but no dice. By Thursday, Gary has made peace with the cold by swapping spots with someone to be on top of a heating event - still keeping him sixth in line. Still, there's some fierce competition. 

Photo by: NBC

It's Ernie's first Thanksgiving so Sheila and Chris decide to celebrate together, at her place. [um, his birthday has already happened, so how is this his first one? perhaps he was in the NICU or something and didn't celebrate out of the hospital? or maybe the episodes were meant to be aired in a different order?] To make things less awkward, Chris invites Gary, Nick, and their families, having to cash-in a favor to get Nick and Emily to change their plans. Sheila wants to make a big fuss and theme everything, choosing to go for "historically accurate," complete with a boiled cod instead of turkey, no alcohol, no Oreo pie, and maple sap-soaked hickory nuts. [wow. that's worse than the Pilgrim-inspired meal on Everybody Loves Raymond! and what was Emily's outfit??] Yoda and Clark give the adults advice on how to get rid of the host's food and eat something else, but Sheila catches them snacking on stuffing in Emily's bag. [I didn't understand why the adults couldn't come up with a plan themselves... hiding food isn't new!!] Sheila freaks out and throws everything from the table out the window before she realizes that this group is so casual that she doesn't need to impress them. [her insults during this process were pretty intense.] Marny decides that they should all join Gary, and Sheila brings Subway sandwiches for everyone. [seriously, she wants them to pay her back??] When the doors open, Gary sicks his older kids on slowing down others, allowing him to actually get the big-screen!

Secret Life: Christmas Eve with Everyone

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

It's not even Thanksgiving and we're already having a Christmas episode? I find this particularly weird because the show hasn't been on since August and will not be on again until March. That said, it's a typical television Christmas episode. They somehow manage to get all of the main characters in, plus just about everyone else you can think of - except for Ashley, Jack and Adrian's parents, and Margaret and Shaker. Some characters have to get only a split-second of screentime, like Nora, Alice, Henry, and Mimzi, but everyone else is weaved in, and Kathy's baby's adoptive parents even turn out to be related to the woman who originally started leaving the toy store unlocked on Christmas Eve for "social services kids." It was all a bit too neat and tidy (Jack wakes up as a "Christmas miracle"), plus unbelievably timed (the power goes out just as Kathy arrives at the hospital ON CHRISTMAS EVE VIA DONKEY), but it was cute. Not worth adding to the yearly rotation or anything, but worth watching once. Actually, the more that I think about it, the biggest problem is that you probably won't fully understand the bulk of the episode if you don't already know the characters and their relationships. So, for a "Christmas special" of a television show that's airing completely outside of that show's season, I'm not sure if this was a great idea... there's certainly not a huge audience for that.  

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "Hedy's Happy Holiday House" (S05E12): It's Christmas Eve and Ricky and Amy talk about their traditions. Ricky talks about how he and others in juvie used to "break-in" to a toy store every Christmas Eve to play with the toys and take something. The owners knew and would leave the doors unlocked. [this seems like the weirdest tradition EVER.] Ricky and Amy decide to drive down there with John, and Ricky convinces Amy to go inside, though she's afraid that they'll be arrested.

http://beta.abcfamily.go.com

Ricky calls Ethan to ask him to come on down in a Santa suit for John, and he brings Kathy, who is now nine months pregnant. Ethan can't get Kathy up onto the loading dock, so he calls Ben to get Dylan's number, as she might be able to help with the security system. But, Chloe (remember, Ben now has a foster sister) overhears and gets on the phone, talking about a hidden door on the side of the building. Leo comes in and hears Chloe talking about Hedy's, so he suggests she and Ben go down there so they can finish decorating the house and set-up some presents. [that seemed REALLY odd. what was Leo's plan to get them out of the house otherwise? I did like the truth about Camille's midnight dinner tradition coming out, though.]

Meanwhile, over at the hospital, Grace is hoping that Jack will wake up for Christmas. She invites his friends to stop by, but only Clementine, Adrian, and Omar come. Clementine is heading over to Hedy's before the younger kids show up, and invites the others to come along. Adrian is interested only because it will get her out of seeing Omar's family on Christmas Eve for a bit longer. [who wants to blow off EVERYONE for Christmas??] They try to take Jack for a trip but are caught by a police officer who is interested in Clementine. When they get to Hedy's, Madison and lauren are also there, as per Amy's invitation. [I think this is awkward... NONE of these people have family obligations at 7pm on Christmas Eve??] But, Kathy announces that she's in labor, throwing everyone for a loop. Because the parking lot has those things that prick your tires if you go the wrong way, none of the cars can get out of the lot, and the ambulance can't find the location, as apparently there's no listing. [no listing AND nobody knows a nearby corner? I don't think so. Lauren and Madison had to get directions from Amy, so she must have paid attention to where they were!] So, they find a donkey in a stockyard and bring Kathy to the hospital on it... but the power is out when they arrive. [again, this is where television coincidences just become too unbelievable.]

When Chloe and Ben get home, Leo and Camille send them on treasure hunts to find their presents: Chloe gets a rescue kitten she names "Patches," and Ben gets a Mercedes that Alice and Henry picked out for him. PLUS, Alice and Henry get surprise cars from Leo and Camille, too. [I totally thought we were about to have a dream sequence or something... I know the man is loaded and that the trio have been friends for ages, but cars as Christmas gifts??] Over at the hospital, as midnight closes in, Jack wakes up. At first, nobody but Tom believes it, but later, when he offers Jack cookies, he comes to life again. [yeah, yeah. bet you could've guessed this!]  

Elsewhere, Anne, Mimzi, and Robbie show up at George's, where he and Kathleen had been romping around. Over at the butcher shop apartment, Ricky gets Amy a blue bicycle. Kathy gives birth and it seems that the baby will be named Hedy, after the adoptive father's aunt who owned the toy store.

Bonus: we see young pictures of the cast at Christmas. AND, we are left to ponder just how much time will pass on the show before we pick it back up again!

2 Broke Girls: The Amish Come to Brooklyn

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

This is a pretty rough episode for sexual innuendos. I don't generally fault this comedy with that theme, but I would have felt awkward watching it with the older crowd, whereas I don't really hesitate with some of the other episodes. I should have guessed from the title that it was going to be raunchy, but throughout the episode I was stuck on the random Amish guys hanging around and the fact that everyone wanted to jump their bones. I mean, Sophie and Max are kinda slutty to begin with, but this was ridiculous, don't ya think? At least Chestnut got something lasting out of it!

2 Broke Girls “And the Three Boys with Wood” (S02E07): [“autumn coming” is gross. “If I had 9 lives I wouldn’t wear a condom” was funny.] Two Amish guys on Rumspringa walk into the bar and the girls decide to give them a place to stay in exchange for building a barn for Chestnut. ["ironic Amish" as a new hipster strain was funny. when they’re talking about what the Amish are known for, I did NOT come up with “barns” until like the eighth thing.]

Photo: Monty Brinton/CBS

Jacob and Jebidiah get turned on by anything and everything. [I laughed pretty hard at them thinking the ladies are rich and Max goes with it.] When Sophie comes over for a late-night cupcake, she wants the boys (calling them “puppies” for some reason). And, she's not the only one - Max stares at them while they work shirtless in the backyard.

Caroline and Andy are going out and he becomes intimidated when he learns that she was once rich. [I liked the exchange between Andy and Max-as-Caroline’s-father and I LOVED the jokes with the candies - whatchamacallit, sno caps, butterfinger, ha! oh, and "why do you think we don’t serve bagels anymore?” was insane!] Caroline is afraid that Andy isn’t that into her, so she takes him to a cheap bar during the day. [is this a thing??] She wonders if he’s gay, but Max assures them that he's not, as he "hasn’t said one mean thing about strangers." [ha!] Max goes down there and brings the Amish boys, then tells Caroline that she’s gotta act unrefined to get Andy… so she booty-dances on one of the boys. [and I guess that solves things?]

Cupcakery Savings Total: $1328.00. [where did they get $200??]