Instant Mom: Doing Good for the World

So many of this show's episodes are exactly the same. Stephanie tries to teach the kids something, but it backfires. There was the time Stephanie insisted she knew how to camp but didn't, when she taking Gabby "bargain shopping" at a boutique that carried $200 jeans, when firing the maid backfired, teaching Aaron about death didn't work, refusing to hire a caterer when you can't cook, refusing to hire a sitter when the kids can't be trusted, giving her dad another chance though he's a crook, turning to the internet for help only for the kids to post advice, revealing how you got away with stuff and not realizing the kids will play the same angles, trying to help Aaron make friends and winding up banned from the school, forcing the kids to learn musical instruments and then being mortified when they lie about their abilities, and accidentally teaching your kids to lie. Yeah, that's 12 instances in 22 episodes... pretty high. I'm giving this my best McKayla Maroney "not impressed" face.

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Instant Mom "The Last Auction Hero" (S01E23): There was a canned food drive in the schools but none of the kids participated, upsetting Stephanie. [haha, I remember taking cans of stuff I didn't like to donate to those things... bye-bye, peas!] She tells the kids to each do something to help the world, deciding that she will volunteer to run the pediatric ward's silent auction... but it means working alongside Beverly, Charlie's boss, with whom she has a poor history. [I don't understand how Stephanie was the most qualified volunteer for this...] Stephanie thinks she'll succeed when she gets a cruise donated, but it turns out that it left before the event, so she can't auction it alongside James' painting of the Philadelphia skyline and Gabby's autographed album of angry songs (all written with just the B-flat chord). Aaron actually doesn't even contribute, not wanting to give any of his own things away. [but sharing his stuffed Ninja Turtle at the end was cute, albeit predictable.] That might be just as well, however, as Gabby's songs are annoying and James got plastic garbage bag on his painting before it dried. [James' humor makes me laugh.]

Charlie isn't helpful at the auction because he's focused on making sure he wins a vintage lunchbox, so while Stephanie tries to promote other items, James sits down in a wheelchair, causing people to think he's disabled. [omg!] He ruins the charade when he celebrate the total hitting $100k, and Stephanie has to encourage people to keep their bids for the children. [I'm surprised it works as well as it does, honestly.]

Melissa & Joey: The Calm Before the Storm...

A clip show and an episode designed entirely to be extra screen-time for some of the guest stars attending the wedding... not the greatest episodes ever, but still nice build-up for the upcoming wedding. It is a shame, though, that they went ahead and showed the clipshow now... it clearly belongs closer to the wedding, as evidenced by Gloria mentioning she was there to help for the three weeks before the wedding, but the officiant episode occurs when there's only a week left before the big day. Regardless, airing average episodes before a big one is par for the course... like the theory behind why bridesmaids' dresses are ugly so the bride's shines in comparison. Three episodes remain in the season, but there are already tons of ceremony images out on the internet, so who knows what mayhem this couple may face as they tie the knot!  

Melissa & Joey "Don't Look Back in Anger" (S03E33): Mel and Joe meet with a wedding officiant, but he has a great record of successful marriages and won't marry couples he doesn't think will last. [I didn't realize statistics like that were tracked! I wonder what rating our officiant has, LoL.] The couple begins to panic, as the wedding is a week away, so they take to lying in their responses. [standard for this couple anyway!] When it comes to their future as parents, Lennox and Ryder are asked about their role models, leaving the minister to believe the Longos would be destined for divorce. [kinda weird, huh? why finish it like that?]

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Melissa & Joey "Uninvited" (S03E34): Mel has been working hard to finish wedding preparations, which includes tasting 40 sparkling wines. [we were such champagne novices when we were married that we had no real preference. Soon aftereard, though, we learned to go for the asti, not the brut.] The bride is further stressed when Joe's mom shows up to help, but Joe mentioned that it'll be a very light wedding on family anyway. Mel repeatedly tells Joe's mom that she'll "think about" the woman's suggestions, then lets her pick the photographer from her top 5 choices. But, Gloria just books Joe's brother instead, even though he hit on Mel in the past. [I was really upset that Gloria went outside those five! how much do you have to disrespect your future daughter-in-law to do that??] Mel is okay with it, and even loves the first set of shots he does (including the engagement photo to the right). [I know she likes his work and all, but no bad blood between them??] But, he then tries to seduce her again, so Gloria sends him packing. [why bother to hide it from Joe for a quick second?]

Ryder tells Lennox that he didn't apply to any colleges, as he loves his job working at the laser tag center. [did Mel and Joe not find it odd that they didn't have to write any checks for application fees? also, didn't Ryder used to be more than one year behind Lennox in school, or am I misremembering things?] She doesn't want to freak out Mel and Joe, though, so she takes it upon herself to write his college entrance essays and try to get him in somewhere. [yay, big sister power!] Meanwhile, Ryder gets a promotion at work, prompting Lennox to leave him alone after all. [I'm wearing my McKayla Maroney face right now...]

19 Kids & Counting: Moving Along

This is a short season for 19 Kids & Counting (no doubt due in part to how many double-length episodes there have been, how many trips are being taken, and the fact that they're not doing a good job of keeping up with the press), with only one more episode to go. It's being bills as if Derick will struggle to deliver a memorable proposal for Jill, but let's face it... that girl is head-over-heels for him and it doesn't matter to her how he does it one bit! Jessa might have some expectations for Ben, but that's something different entirely. I do look forward to hearing about how the couple plans to make a living (Jill is not quite a midwife yet, after all), and where they will reside. Plus, it looks as if there will be plenty of wedding preparations, so I'm hoping that we'll get a lengthy special focusing on that before long. In case you're not aware, the couple plans to wed on June 21st, so hopefully we're not waiting around until November to see the nuptials! Here's the happy couples now:

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19 Kids & Counting "The Big Question" (S08E08): Still in Nepal, JimBob and Jill go shopping for souvenirs, and Derick orders a customized emerald heart necklace for Jill. [the conversation in the purse/scarf shop was really forced and circular. also, we don't see what souvenirs they actually get!] Then, the trio take a tuk-tuk to Monkey Temple, where JimBob enjoys passing out bananas, but misses the family.

Next, they part ways as Jill volunteers at a birthing center, using tools that are outdated in the US, and the guys enjoy a Nepali shave, which Derick finds relaxing but JimBob finds painful. But the big moment comes when Jill and JimBob go to leave, and Derick officially asks Jill to enter a courtship with him. [they were there a week?]

Back at home, James and Michelle shoot slingshots, and Michelle talks about how she has "good" and "bad" stories from her childhood. Plus, Jinger teaches Joy how to bake the family's bread, as they go through 24 mini-loaves each week. [Jinger might have learned from John-David?]

19 Kids & Counting "Something New" (S08E09): Joy teaches Michelle "Amazing Grace" on the violin, but it has been a long time since the Duggar matriarch held the stringed instrument, plus she can't read music.

Jessa spends some time with Ben's family, and his sisters teach her some of Ben's favorite recipes: chicken alfredo and apple pie. Jinger goes too, as her first chaperoning experience. [that Ben is trying too hard.]

Jana and Joseph go to visit Josh & Anna, and they head to Whitetail Resort for a day of skiing. Anna and the kids have never been before, and Jana sits out and plays with Marcus. [I don't really understand why they went to visit?] Joseph and Josh skied together.

19 Kids & Counting "Couples' Weekend" (S08E10): Jill, Jana, and Jessa go to a delivery, where Jill is the midwife under supervision, which she has done about 30 times. The client goes to the tub to relax, but winds up delivering there. [Jessa is just there to take pictures for the family.]

JimBob and Michelle go to a fertility specialist, who orders a blood test done to check if Michelle is in menopause. At her age (48), there's really only a 5% chance that a sperm will fertilize an egg. [those odds: 1 in 350 at age 35; 1 in 100 at 40; 1 in 10-15 at 45.]

Ben, Jinger, and Jessa fly to Washington, DC. [why is everyone visiting Josh and Anna again so soon?] The couple has been together seven months (official for four), so Josh really grills Ben. Ben likes to work out, so he and Josh head to the gym, though Josh hasn't been in the nine months he's lived in DC. [haha.] The group enjoys a trolley tour.

19 Kids & Counting "A Toast to Love" (S08E11): It's two months after Jill was in Nepal, and the entire Duggar clan goes to meet Derick at the airport, bringing along posters and balloons. [I loved Jill repeatedly asking at Jana to count heads! oh, and everyone commenting on the frontal hug!]

Michelle and JimBob learn that conception isn't likely, but not impossible, according to their bloodwork. But that's okay, it's time for the dinner theater. Joy gets Amy's help with the five youngest kids' song. [odd that Joy takes credit for the idea to call Amy when Jana suggested it earlier.] Derick and Ben help with the building of the stage, though Ben would prefer to assist Jessa in the kitchen. [Ben racing Derick to engagement? awkward!] Jill and Jana's harp concert opens the night, then some of the boys do a heartfelt skit, then the little kids' songs, Josh's video, and Jeremiah's poem. [the steak is a bit tough. oh, and did Joy not actually perform?] It ends with a "We're a Happy Family" chorus with all of the kids, plus the two courting men.

And, speaking of the courting Duggars, Michelle has a triple-date planned, where she, Jessa, Jill, and their respective men, go for an etiquette dinner at someone's house. [an odd event, but probably nice for everyone to get to know one another a little more in a new way.]

16 & Pregnant: Three More Girls Make Mistakes

I can't handle learning how irresponsible some people are. Throwing caution into the wind is an idea that is not compatible with my personality, so all of these "we just ran out of condoms and didn't buy more," "we had unprotected sex once and didn't get pregnant, so we figured it was okay," "I just stopped getting the shot" stuff irks me to no end. Yes, condoms only work 98% of the time and hormonal birth control can still fail even when used correctly, but rarely are the teenagers on 16 & Pregnant in their current situations because of those issues. (they're also rarely 16 anymore, but that's a different problem.) At least the series is still depicting a wide variety of outcomes to teen parenthood - (un)supportive parents, different approaches toward completing one's education, various living arrangements, and other unique factors affecting family development. Regardless, coverage of this program will continue, as the details aren't given many other places on the web, and the circumstances depicted are helpful to some, I'm sure.

16 & Pregnant "Summer" (S05E05): From Collins, GA, she met DJ online three years ago. He's going to be a welder. [though at first I thought they said realtor, LoL.] Summer has three younger half-sisters and a pill-addicted mother who was a teen mother herself. [figures.] She has stopped going to school because she's homebound, but promises DJ's mother that she'll finish her education. The couple had been using condoms, but when they ran out, they just started being careless. [really??] She doesn't believe in abortion, and never considered adoption, either.

32 weeks: She has moved in with DJ's parents, though his dad lives mainly in West Virginia, where he works. Her mom is nearly three weeks sober. [and I'm willing to bet it won't last.]

33 weeks: She tells her three sisters to get on birth control. She tries to have dinner with her mom, but the woman is high on klonopin. [yep, it didn't last.]

34 weeks: They buy a crib off Craigslist, but there were bugs on the mattress. [OMG GROSS! also, crib mattresses are one of the things that you should really shell out good money for (along with breast pumps and car seats).] She has her baby shower. DJ wants to buy a pitbull, but it causes some drama in the family. [who gets a dog when they're expecting a baby in a month??]

October, 35 weeks: DJ gets the dog. Summer's water breaks, and she's 4cm dilated when she gets to the hospital. She gives her mom a chance to be there for her, but when she and Summer's aunt arrive, they start scaring the hell out of her about labor and delivery. [what's the point now? they should have told her those stories before she got pregnant.] 12 hours in, she's crying in pain but makes it to 10cm. She's scared to deliver, but she makes it through. Peyton Daniel is born 7 lb, 8 oz on October 28th. [that baby has a really elongated head, though.]

1 day old: The baby is breathing too fast, so he's rushed to a bigger hospital in Savannah so he can be in a NICU. He's there for a week with a bacterial infection, so the couple has to borrow money to stay in Savannah. [there is a Ronald McDonald House in Savannah, but it's possible that the couple didn't get information from a hospital social worker on it because the baby's condition wasn't too serious (the average length stay is over two weeks).]

2 weeks old: Summer is getting behind in her schoolwork, and is thinking about getting a GED instead of finishing high school. [it's only been two weeks. kids with mono are out longer than that.]

3 weeks old: DJ's parents express their disappointment in Summer not wanting to finish school. To make matters worse, Summer's mom gets arrested for writing bad checks, so she faces up to two years in jail. [dang. what a terrible role model.]

16 & Pregnant "Karley" (S05E06): 17, from Tooele, Utah, near Salt Lake City. She lives with her mom, dad, younger brother and sister, and four dogs. [that's a lot! she also has an older, married sister] When her high-school-dropout boyfriend, Tony, gets her pregnant (with twins), they get married and he moves in, too. [I wonder why that part wasn't covered in the episode.] He's not comfortable living there, but he's working full-time as a mechanic to get money to move out. She's moved to homeschooling, though she was previously a good student. They had unprotected sex once, then again, then again, and she started to believe they were fine not being safe. 

September, 31 Weeks: Her mom tries to dissuade them from moving out in the next 8 months so they can make the best financial decision, but Tony keeps repeating that he doesn't worry about finances in advance.

October, 32 weeks: They meet with a realtor to learn about the costs of getting their own place, and find out that the cheapest places in town are $600-800/month, and Tony only makes about $1,000/month. [he has some huge gauges!]

October, 33 weeks: Baby shower time!

October, 34 weeks: Tony misses a doctor's appointment to get tattoo work done. [she's COVERED in stretch marks!]

October, 36 weeks: Tony says that he'll take some time off work when the babies are born, and suggests that she get a job as soon as she can. But, she talks about how the babies being in daycare isn't the best. [plus I highly doubt that she could make enough money with no education to off-set two infants in childcare.]

November, 38 weeks: She goes into labor in the middle of the night, and one of the babies is breach, causing a lot of pain. She has to have a c-sectin when the baby doesn't turn. On November 14th, Amariah Dawn is born 5 lb 9 oz with blonde hair, and Amayah Lynn is born 4 lb 14 oz with black hair. [reminds me of Leah's twins with such similar names!]

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1 day old: The babies will have to spend a few days in the NICU.

4 days old: They head home.

2 weeks old: Tony takes on more shifts, and Karley tries to keep up with schoolwork. Tony talks about buying a thousand-dollar, three-seater truck, feeling as if the money he makes for the family can be spent at his discretion. [but still, why buy a vehicle they can't all fit in??]

December, 3 weeks old: Karley asks her mom to watch the girls so she can have lunch with her friends. Tony buys the truck (for $850?), which has trouble starting, upsetting Karley. Her parents think that Tony needs to show his appreciation for the assistance he's being given. [her mom really freaked out there!] Tony realizes how big of a conflict the truck is causing, and decides to sell it.

16 & Pregnant "Aleah" (S05E07): She's 18 and lives near St. Louis with her mom & stepdad. She has Type 1 diabetes, and when she first found out, she rebelled and wound up meeting boyfriend of two years, Shawn, in a JDC. He has a son, Noah, of whom he has custody. Aleah had been on the shot and stopped doing that, leading to the pregnancy. She moves an hour away into his parents' house because it's closer to the plastic factory where Shawn works. [he doesn't seem to get a lot of hours, though.] He's got a lead foot and is constantly receiving speeding tickets that he doesn't pay on time. [and I'm already over this kid...] She is enrolled in college to become a medical assistant. His mother is more than willing to help them out with free childcare and a place to live. [she probably figures she's already watching her son's other kid anyway...]

October, 33 weeks: She meets with a labor coach to help her figure out how her diabetes will affect her delivering a healthy baby. [I can't tell how concerned Aleah is with her sugar...]

November, 35 weeks: Shawn gets another speeding ticket. Aleah is worried about the noise level in the house for a baby.

November, 37 weeks: time for the baby shower! Afterward, her blood sugar is really high, and gets higher. She heads to the ER, where she winds up delivering Peyton Reianne on December 13th, weighing 7 lbs 8 oz. [um, the whole timeline is wrong if 37 weeks puts her mid-December. bad job once again, MTV!] Peyton struggles to breathe and is suffering from low blood sugar. [a common issue for babies born to diabetics.]

3 days old: Peyton stabilizes, so they're out of the NICU and head home.

2 weeks old: Shawn is working more, and things are cramped at the house.

3 weeks old: They look at apartments, which will run them $550/month, but he still owes $2500 because of court fees, speeding fines, and late fees. [I was so much more pissed than she was at him!] Aleah winds up walking out, and the next day tells him that they're breaking up if he gets one more speeding ticket.

1 month old: Shawn gets another speeding ticket, so Aleah takes Peyton and heads to her mother's. [I am shocked he doesn't try at least slightly harder. going 69 in a 50??]

SEASON FINALE: The Middle: The Hecks Go to Florida

We're fresh off a five-day trip to NYC, which some might have considered rather overbooked. This is a habit of mine... if there's a way to plan out vacations in advance, I have a tendency to figure out what's going on every hour of our recreation. Well, back when I was 12, my mom had a HS friend visiting, and she took us all to Magic Kingdom for a day. It's the only time I've been to a theme park with both of my siblings, but as my sister wasn't even in kindergarten yet, she was too small to ride some of the classics. Still, we all had a great time, but I did over-research the park and tried to steer us to certain attractions at certain times, when, in hindsight, that may not have been the best way to go. Perhaps this is one of the reasons i love Sue Heck...

The Middle "Heck on a Hard Body" (S05E22): [the title is a play on "Hands on a Hard Body," the title of a 1997 documentary that was also a 2013 Broadway musical.] Mike has been helping Brick study for another spelling bee, so when a homeless Rusty shows up, they let him stay. [wow, look at that NFL crap!] The two share old stories in the car with Brick, who sadly comes in second, because Rusty had him throw it to win bets. [what the !?!?] Mike is upset that his son didn't get to win, but it doesn't bother Brick, who knew his uncle needed the money.

Axl's desk has gone missing, and he can't get his deposit back until it's found, so Frankie helps find it... being used for a beer pong game. Frankie is soon schooling the kids in the art of the game, which doesn't embarrass Axl for once. [what did Frankie go to college to do?]

Sue is determined to win a car by keeping her hand on it the longest. [hey, remember when Mad About You did that?] Brad also competes (for Sue), but he's the first one out. [you can't switch hands?? that really intensifies the situation!] Sue gets sunburned, has to stand on one foot for four hours, and winds up psyching out her final opponent to win... but the prize isn't a car. It's actually a car trip to Disney! [as much as I love Disney, I still would have wanted the car! also, that would have brought a very different population of competitors!]

The Middle "Orlando" (S05E23): Brick wants to meet his online girlfriend, who lives in North Carolina. He keeps pestering Mike and Frankie to stop on the way to Orlando, and Frankie eventually gives in after learning that Tanya has been talking to Brick for two months already and isn't turned off yet. [kinda sad that was the winning point.] Unfortunately, when they arrive, Brick announces that he dumped Tanya the night before, but they go in anyway. [the catfish suspicions were a bit much.] Brick and Tanya make up, but the families fight, so as soon as Brick gets his first kiss, the Hecks are on their way once more. [wonder if Tanya will make future mentions...]

Axl tried to pass his classes but is afraid that he'll still fail, so he turns to Sue for advice on how to accept failure. [ouch.] But, he gets all Bs and a B-, surprising himself and his parents. [and me, for what it's worth.] And, because of an earlier deal, the adult Hecks can't talk to their oldest son until September. When that doesn't work, they have to call him Sir Axl, Duke of Awesomeness. [and they stick with that??]

Sue meticulously counts down the 27 days until the Disney trip, and makes an 800-page binder of information for the trip. [in comparison, I think my notes were about 4 pages, handwritten. but this was a couple years before the average person had internet access at home.] Frankie and Mike worry about another trip with the kids, so Frankie institutes a calming word ("Orlando") to get everyone back in the vacation mindset when things get rough. [14 playlists??] The Hecks take turns driving, and everyone is worried about Sue getting behind the wheel. They decide to let her, but she scrapes up the driver's side of the car at a drive-thru. [omg, I am Sue Heck. I have also done this, thought not to the same extreme. but that's a story for another time.] She is forgiven, though, and drives the family the last leg of the drive. However, when they arrive, they learn that their tickets are for Disneyland...

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The Middle "The Wonderful World of Hecks" (S05E24) [season finale]: [spotted a goof! there's an extra wearing a blue striped shirt who uses a Magic Band to get into the park in the line to the right of the Hecks who is then immediately in the line to the left of theHecks, holding a ticket to enter.] Frankie tries to talk the cast member into letting them in without the proper tickets, and, after sitting around in Guest Relations for a while, they make it inside Magic Kingdom.

Unfortunately, their problems are only just beginning. Sue almost immediately passes out, so they swing by the infirmary. Then, Brick goes missing, having gone shopping for a Mickey Ears hat. It takes him 90 minutes to choose a font and thread color, throwing off Sue's schedule and they head for Space Mountain instead of Jungle Cruise. However, the line is unexpectedly two hours long, so they move toward The Haunted Mansion, which has only a 15-minute wait... but Brick misplaces his hat, so they leave the line. After some backtracking, they learn that it was in his backpack the entire time. [I don't think I would have been very controlled after that!] They get some turkey legs, which they wolf down to get onto Thunder Mountain... but Sue hurts herself in the process, so it's back to the infirmary! [omg.] After that, Axl takes over and gets everyone in a line... out of the park. [how did they not see that coming??]

They head to the hotel, where they're given an upgrade that excites each member of the family. [I've never stayed on Disney park property, so I would have been excited regardless, LoL!] However, they love it so much that they sleep in until 3pm! Mike is itching to get to EPCOT, so once they're all in Magic Kingdom, an argument for the ages breaks out, and each goes their own way. Mike takes Frankie to the Paris in EPCOT, and after a few moments realizing that being alone isn't any fun, the Heck kids ride Splash Mountain together, then Test Track, and The Little Mermaid. [I've never been on that last one!] They find their parents and go for Mission Space and the fireworks to end the vacation.

Season Finale: Bob's Burgers: Danger at the Pier

Bob's Burgers is a funny show, even though it's rather absurd at times and I can't always point my finger at why it's funny. The antics of the seaside town and its inhabitants continue to amuse me, even if they aren't amusing others. That's right... even though it has been renewed for another season, the numbers aren't great, and we'll be passing on continuing to recap and remark upon the series on a regular basis, though we do plan on doing special features on future holiday episodes. Plus, with FOX changing their scheduling strategy in the fall, I'm really curious as to how that will affect this program's viewership as well...

Bob's Burgers "Wharf Horse (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part 1)" (S04E21): The kids are out flyering the wharf and run into Mr. Fischoeder, who is also trying to get more business. Then, they find out that the carousel is being torn down, sparking Tina to attempt to save her favorite horse... and Louise to bike-lock her sister to it. It doesn't last, as one might expect. [getting on the news was cool. as was Tina still caring about horses.]

Mr. Fischoeder's brother, Felix, offers Bob an upscale bistro location as long as he keeps Calvin occupied for a while, so Bob claims it's "Take-Your-Landlord-to-Lunch Day" and they head to the island, but Linda lets the plan slip before they even reach the ferry. [Mr. Fischoeder fell for that??] Fortunately, they continue with the plans as Felix tries to get investors to agree to build condos over the amusement park. Gene, Louise, Bob, and Mr. Fishoeder ride the rollercoaster at the wharf, forcing Fischoeder to realize that he never wants to sell the place.

Bob's Burgers "World Wharf II: The Wharfening (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part 2)" (S04E22): Felix ties Bob and Fischoeder to a pole under the pier so that they'll die when the tide comes in. [really?]

FOX

They call Linda for help, but she can't hear them and thinks it's a pocket-dial. He manages to text that he's "tired yo," thanks to auto-correct. [Linda is so funny!] Louise figures out the real message, but the next text, which reveals the location, they can't decipher. They head out into town and run into Felix at the wharf, and tell him that they fear for his brother's safety. But, then they see him heading under the pier, so they take off on paddle boats to chase him. Things get even worse when but Fannie, Felix's girlfriend, threatens to kill everyone, so it's up to Linda to save them all. [Calvin covering for Felix though??] 

Season Finale: Big Bang: Changes

I'm gonna go ahead and say it... I don't know how this series will play out for three more seasons. I don't feel like the situations the characters come into are as "everyman" as Friends or Seinfeld, but there's no big gimmick to be revealed like on How I Met Your Mother, either. The close dynamic of Frasier and Happy Days isn't there, and it's not "workplace" enough to work like Cheers or M*A*S*H. But, Two and a Half Men manages to keep finding things to write about, so I suppose there's still humor to be found. One thing is for sure, though... they better find a way to write-in a multiple-part episode with the guys ACTUALLY AT COMIC-CON!

The Big Bang Theory "The Status Quo Combustion" (S07E24): Leonard and Penny share their proposal news with their friends, then their parents, but Leonard's mother already knew, courtesy of Sheldon. [ugh.] Leonard talks to Sheldon about not living together anymore, so he rants to Amy, who suggests that they live together. [basing the wedding on Penny's brother's schedule, it will be 12-18 months from now... good to know.]

Sheldon finds out that he can't change his field of study at the University, as he was hired to do String Theory. He appeals to the faculty senate, but things just start turning sour in every area of his life... and after the comic book store burns down, he heads to the train station, with the intent to ride the rails. [seriously?]

CBS

Amy is pissed that Leonard and Penny let Sheldon leave. [understandably.]

Howard's mom has gone through multiple nurses, and when Penny can't handle the job (at carte blanche), Howard and Bernadette worry that they may end up stuck caring for her... until they realize that Stuart is happy to be Debbie's caretaker, and they take to each other well. [did we previously know Howard's mom's name?]

In other news, Raj has sex with Emily.

Hot in Cleveland: The Silver Lining

Milking someone else's bad fortune for your own gain... yep, sounds like something the girls on Hot in Cleveland would do! I'm really curious as to how it was decided that Elka would only play into Victoria's plot, though, rather than have her own ways of turning Melanie's tumor into something for her own good. But, back at the bigger issue... the tumor only lasts 7 episodes?? The woman was diagnosed in the second episode of the season, doesn't pick a doctor until the end of the third, and only even mentions going to regular appointments in the seventh! I know this isn't a drama, but the fact that there is no longer a sign of a tumor that *wasn't* caught in its early stages seems a little cheap. If the story didn't poll well, at least let it fade into the background and be a passing mention for a while... or make it clear that it's months later or something!

Hot in Cleveland "Brokeback Elka" (S05E08): Victoria uses Melanie's tumor to make her fans think she's caring, and she winds up spending her evenings chatting online with a fan in Wyoming... who turns out to be Elka, catfishing. [called it, but probably only because of Elka's twitter foreshadowing.] Joy and Melanie encourage Elka to come clean, and she does, albeit by revealing she knew about conversations not made public.

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Joy uses Melanie's tumor to get a date with a guy who turns out to be a radio DJ who makes her out to be crazy on the air. When she confronts him, he uses soundbites from the conversation to prolong Joy's humiliation. [haha, I was thinking of the episode of Frasier where this is constantly happening to the title character!]

Melanie realizes that she can milk her brain tumor for stuff like free food and concert tickets, but she's soon cured and feels bad about some backstage passes coming her way. [she probably shouldn't have exaggerated in her letter.] When the artist delivers the tickets in person, Melanie sticks it out... until the musician goes on the DJ's radio show, and Joy calls in the middle to disclose that a tumor pick-up line started the whole thing. [I'm now wondering whether I'd milk something like this... and for what purpose...]

Season Finale: The Goldbergs: Murray is a Cool Guy

Murray Goldberg has not proved to be a very active guy this season. In fact, most of the time, he's hanging around the dinner table or lounging in his favorite chair, much like this:

ABC/Tony Rivetti

So, the fact that he's up and shooting hoops in public in this episode is quite the change from the usual. Similarly, Murray actually taking the time to explain one of his stories to the kids seems to be a relished moment, and I hope that more of that pops up in season two. While I wasn't overly surprised that Murray once led an enviable life (the squarest people have the curviest pasts!), I was a little taken aback by how little of a role Adam had in this episode. I was expecting a little more from the man-behind-the-camera for a season finale, but the show is named after the family, so I shouldn't be as shocked. Here's to another great season of reminiscing and laughing with our new favorite Pennsylvania family!

The Goldbergs "Livin' on a Prayer" (S01E23) [season finale]: In high school, Murray made 79 free throws in row, a record that has held some 20 years. Because a current student at the school finally bested that, Murray is invited to come to a game and be recognized, to which he is initially opposed. [of course.] Bev drags him along, though, hoping to make a fun overnight trip out of it. Murray has a great time at first, getting into the game and receiving a ball autographed by the current team, but when he's offered the chance to shoot a free throw, he fails miserably as the crowd erupts in laughter. So, he and Bev come home early... which wouldn't have been a big deal, except Barry had decided to throw a party.

Pops doesn't oppose the gathering, and when only nerds show up, he asks Erica to help out her brother by inviting some of her friends. [television grandparents are the best!] But, things get out of hand, and everyone raids Beverly's closet for sweaters. [I can't even begin to understand how that happens!] Pops wants to be cool, so he asks Erica to get everything under control.[seriously??!?] Fortunately, Murray and Bev come home to disperse the rager, but Barry is able to talk his father into giving him ten more minutes to live it up, explaining that he isn't the popular kid that Murray was. Barry has the time of his life dancing away those precious few moments, and Erica's friend even helps make his crush jealous by kissing him. Of course, Barry gets grounded for the entire summer, but he seems to believe it was worth it. [I got goosebumps as the credits rolled, LoL.]

Trophy Wife: Mother's Day, Indeed

This series has been cancelled, and I have lukewarm feelings about that. I have mentioned on and off all season that the concept behind the show was different, the characters were somewhat appealing, and the kids were downright lovable... though it also tried too hard and didn't always act like a rookie comedy. There are folks out there with hope that ABC Family or Hulu might revive the family program, but I'm gonna go ahead and doubt them... though I do hope that Bradley Whitford is able to score another series, because I miss him on television. Of course, that would ideally be reincarnating Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, but that's even more ridiculous. :-P  Still, isn't the below a cute way to catch up viewers on who's who?

facebook.com/TrophyWifeABC

Trophy Wife "Mother's Day" (S01E22): Kate wants to be thought of as a mom, so she's thrilled when Jackie and Diane decide to let her spend Mother's Day with the kids, though she tries to get thoughtful gifts for the others as well. This leads to a chicken for Jackie and a recreation of a Flemish still-life for Diane. [how amusing! I wonder how the chicken would have played out for another season...] But, neither are home on Sunday morning, as they took off for Laguna Beach. [haha! Hillary: "they dumped the kids and Kate on me"] Bert gets the location out of Sad Steve, so they head down there and Kate gets into it with the other women. [a bit roughly, I might add!] However, everyone comes together when they learn that Pete had a heart attack. But, it was just indigestion from eating random food while under pressure from being the lead counsel representing a company that spilled oil. ["what else can we blame this on?" made me laugh.] Still, he wants to do something different in the future. [between that and the jokes about Kate being pregnant, this series could have had some intriguing storylines going forward!] 

The 2014 FOX Fanfront Event

Today, as I was already in New York, I attended the FOX Fanfront. It's similar to the official Upfront presentation because it takes place a little earlier/at the same time, is held adjacent to the Beacon Theater where the advertisers and press journalists were watching, and showcased much of the same talent.

Jonathan Bredemeyer

But, it's also a very different experience. Rather than a cushy theater, you're under a tent in the heat.

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Jonathan Bredemeyer

The bulk of the time, it's just the "red carpet" portion before any event - actors answer questions for reporters as they make their way in, cast by cast. But, it's 2014, so each celebrity was encouraged to tweet about being there, and they were also taking selfies with audience members and signing autographs for the fans. There were a few special presentations, including a three-song concert performed by American Idol contestant Jessica Meuse (who came in 4th in the currently-running season).

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Then, another triple treat from Glee's Darren Criss. 

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Pitbull was also around, and although we cheered for him, it seems he just went straight to the "real" event. Honestly, the best pre-event part was actually watching an episode of Riot, which was really pretty amusing. But, more on that another time.

If you weren't in the first couple of rows, or even in the first section of bleachers (which was mainly filled with those who camped out overnight or were waiting since at least 6:30am), you couldn't really interact with the talent, nor even see them that well, as FOX wasn't utilizing their screens to help others see what was going on in the very warm room. At least we were kept happy with bottled water and snacks, including a soft pretzel that was just perfect. Others were busy going gaga over the various actors coming in...

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Jonathan Bredemeyer

One surprising negative was that the room didn't even quiet down when trailers for the new series were shown. Now, I'm more of a Marvel fan than DC, but I would have appreciated being able to hear the Gotham trailer. A plus, though, is that this is the second time FOX has let the public attend such an event - the Upfronts are so advertiser-focused that TCA members don't even get invitations. Actually, I'm kinda intrigued with how a single journalist might cover the Upfronts when two networks present on the same day, as this morning's NBC presentation was at the Javits Center was two miles from the Beacon. In LA you just drive it, but in NYC, that's either a multiple-subway trip, a 40-minute walk, or a cab ride that could potentially take 15 minutes, given how traffic seemed this morning. But, I digress. All in all, it was interesting to attend, and I'm glad I have some pictures to share with all of you. I mean, where else would you see this guy?

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Jonathan Bredemeyer

We'll actually weigh in on the new series of FOX and the other broadcast networks in the near future, so look forward to that as well.

Oh, and a random bonus shot... walking back to the hotel we came across this taking place...

Jonathan Bredemeyer

Big Bang: Choices

Sometimes, I try pretty hard to avoid spoilers, what with being on the West Coast and seeing a lot of television a few hours after millions of people watch it air live. It's been less and less of a problem in recent years because of the number of households watching delayed television, but every once in a while I still get slammed with a spoiler that I wish I didn't know about... and this was one of those times. I knew that Penny and Leonard were going to get engaged, but at least I didn't know how, or what the climactic part would be. And, now that I know how it all went down (and laughed profusely at the idea that Leonard has been carrying around a diamond ring IN HIS WALLET FOR YEARS), I wonder if I actually would have been more surprised if I didn't know it was coming. I mean, it was only last episode that they discussed marriage for what must have been the tenth time. So, I'm curious... did you see it coming? Did you know (via spoilers) that it was coming? Were you any more/less surprised given your circumstances?

The Big Bang Theory "The Gorilla Dissolution" (S07E23): Leonard goes to the set of Penny and Wil's movie, and both actors wind up getting fired for no good reason. [I was hard-pressed to believe that Wil would stand up for Penny like that...]

Darren Michaels/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. © 2014 WBEI. All rights reserved

Wil heads off to audition for Sharknado 2, and Penny tells Leonard that she wants to marry him because he's a "smart choice." [I cringed.] He wants to be something more than that, but once she says that he is all she needs to be happy, he responds, "I guess I'm in," and then admits he feels their engagement was anti-climactic. Fortunately, he then pulls out a ring and makes it official. [yes, I'm one of "those people" who needs to see jewelry to believe it's serious. :-P]

When Howard was dragging a treadmill upstairs for his mother, it accidentally slips down the stairs and injures the woman, laying her up for 6-8 weeks. Howard wants to hire a nurse but Bernadette thinks they should care for her themselves, saying that it will be similar to what they might face as parents. Well, they get on one another's nerves and hire a nurse anyway. [is that effectively tabling babies for them?]

Sheldon and Raj go to a movie and see Emily there with another guy, upsetting Raj enough that they head home early. [I'm surprised that Sheldon was up for that!] Sheldon makes Raj some tea (English Breakfast, not Cardamom), then tells him that he can't think every woman he dates will be a perfect companion. [for the record, Raj has dated 11 women, apparently.] But, things may be looking up when Emily not only goes to see Raj, but it is implied that they became physical as well. [I liked that he asked for ten minutes, and then admitted he was going to use it to do crunches, LoL.]

Instant Mom: Mothers Help Each Other Out

I'm very curious as to how the guest stars [Meredith Baxter (Family Ties), Jackee Harry (Sister, Sister), Florence Henderson (The Brady Bunch), Marion Ross (Happy Days), Tempestt Bledsoe (The Cosby Show)] were selected for this episode... did the producers see who was available and then have the writers craft the jokes from there? I mean, Jackee Harry is perfect for this, but Meredith Baxter and Marion Ross in particular are very interchangeable with the dozens of other sitcom mothers over the years. Tempestt Bledsoe seemed like a fill-in... like maybe Phylicia Rashad was supposed to be there but then they re-wrote it for whichever Cosby kid they could manage, and Tempestt is the most sitcom-oriented these days? Regardless, I loved the catchphrases ("jump the shark"!!) and jokes (haha, younger, cuter kids), particularly Tempestt's about how perfect Cliff and Clair were as parents... a doctor and a lawyer with unlimited time to teach their children lessons in the most creative ways! This series is gonna be fine... and might even pick up a larger audience now that Trophy Wife has been cancelled! 

facebook.com/InstantMom

Instant Mom "Not Your Mother's Day" (S01E22): Stephanie expects the full Mother's Day treatment from the kids, but they didn't really get anything for her, so they cover by claiming that Stepmother's Day is the following Sunday. [I looked it up... apparently it's not really a thing.] She takes her own mother to a day at a spa to celebrate the day but they wind up arguing over who is a better mother, but Maggie's anger is actually stemming from the fact that Stephanie didn't write a mushy message in her card. [I'm doing my "not impressed" face over Maggie's issue here.] Stephanie gets some advice from other mothers (the guest stars), but she and Maggie still wind up slinging mud at one another. All is made well again when Stephanie says something that would be sweet in a card, and Maggie forgives her. [is Maggie really the type of mother who will read a card over and over?] 

Meanwhile, back at the house, Charlie and the kids put together a hodgepodge Mother's Day for Stephanie, including someone else's cake, off-holiday balloons, a solution of various perfumes, and a poorly constructed poem. [you win some, you lose some.]

RETURNING: Hot in Cleveland: The Girls' Busy Lives

It seems weird to me that this sitcom has already aired 87 episodes... I feel like it only premiered a year and a half ago (the pilot debuted 4 years ago next month!), when in reality they're already doing a second live show, and really getting into tougher topics like cancer while maintaining the light and snobby humor that is unique to this series. Don't know what I mean? Take a look at this:

facebook.com/hotincleveland

Can you think of another comedy airing these days telling joked like that? While the overall appeal for the program is dwindling for me (faked deaths, long-lost relatives, and revolving recurring characters aren't my thing), I have to seriously wonder how much longer Betty White can keep going... and if the show will move on without her if it comes to it. Her mobility seems to be getting worse, judging by the staging we're seeing in the first batch of episodes this season, and as much as I adore her, her comedic timing also seems a tad off... it still works for her, but will it bother audiences?

Hot in Cleveland "Stayin' Alive" (S05E01): [Be aware that this is a live episode that chronologically doesn't fit the ongoing stories. and, for some reason, Alex Trebek is popping in and out...] The group heads out to one of Elka's old hideouts, but there are already two criminals on the run there with Mamie - Mr. & Mrs. Robinson. [see the mics at the top of the screen here and there?] Lily grabs all the phones, and the felons announce that they'll be there for a while - a plastic surgeon is coming to alter Chester's appearance. [yeah, I'm shaking my head on this one!] The surgeon is obsessed with Victoria... from her Ladypants commercials! A marriage counselor also shows up, to keep a standing appointment with the troubled couple. [jaw drop on the Rue McClanahan joke! also, LOVED how everyone was trying to convey to the counselor that they're in danger, and Mamie didn't understand how to grow the conversation.] Joy tries to go out the kitchen window while Mamie and Elka make smoke signals with the fireplace, and Victoria winds up at gunpoint when she admits that she's not going to be making more LadyPants commercials. [yeah, this all got a bit ridiculous...] The smoke leads a boy scout their way, but at least Park Ranger Trebek also sees them and comes to save the day. [his puns got to be too much, though.]

Hot in Cleveland "Surprise!" (S05E02): Back to the storyline, the episode uses a polygraph to get viewers caught up on the lives of Victoria, Melanie, and Joy. When Melanie finally tells Alec about her pregnancy, it winds up being in a room full of his friends due to a surprise party. [omg that's awful!] He wants to be supportive, as does his new girlfriend, but it turns out that Melanie actually has a pituitary tumor masking itself as a pregnancy. [I totally didn't know that could happen!] She'll be going through radiation treatment and potentially surgery, and Alec offers to stand by her, though she says she's got her own support group. 

The girls are also trying to track down Emmet using the pair of rare and expensive heels that he was wearing. [he broke out of prison and wore Victoria's clothes to get away.] They wind up tracing him to a community theater in Newark, and Victoria tries to get more information out of an FBI agent by flattering him, though he sees through her. Emmet sends a note inside the shoes, which Melanie buys over eBay. [meh.]

Hot in Cleveland "Dr. Who?" (S05E03): Wilbur has been wait-listed for an exclusive preschool, and he's also entering beauty pageants, courtesy of Victoria. When a slot becomes available and the interview is scheduled, the whole family is supposed to take part, despite the fact that Joy's son will have to rush from the airport to sit in a meeting with the father he's never met, who just arrived. [yep, it's about as awkward as it sounds!] The dynamics in the room are off, and when Wilbur arrives, he's dressed as a prince, so that doesn't really help matters. Victoria stays, playing the kid's aunt, and Joy winds up admitting the truth, which boots them from the school. The truth about Owen meeting Joy comes out to Simon as well. 

Elka goes with Melanie to find a doctor, as she's looking for someone ugly, because that must mean he only dated a little and focused on his studies during medical school. [haha, nice logic!] Ten doctors later, Melanie is obsessed with trying to get a doctor who isn't taking on new patients... so she joins J-date to try meeting him, but that immediately fails. [her Jewish act was amusing, though!] 

Hot in Cleveland "The Undead" (S05E04): Victoria learns that Emmet died in a plane crash, but he actually faked his death and hopes Victoria will do the same so they can live happily ever after in the mountains of another country. [seriously??] She immediately feels she must do it, though her friends disagree. [well, yeah!] Melanie handles the press, but Simon thinks he could become famous by releasing the truth, so Joy threatens to end the relationship if he does. Victoria's children can't make the memorial service, but Victoria sits among the mourners to see what people are saying. [eh, we've seen this before.] Susan Lucci says rude things, steals Victoria's Emmy award, and shocks her longtime rival. [Lucci's speech wouldn't work if the body wasn't found!] Victoria decides that she can't leave, but that's an easy fix because both the press and the service were fake-faked! [I think this was WAY over-the-top!] The whole situation forces Simon to decide to stop working in the tabloids and become a documentarian. [that'll take him away again!]

Hot in Cleveland "Elka Takes a Lover" (S05E05): The girls talk about who they are bringing to the Cleveland Rhapsody Premiere. Joy tries to text a model, Stone, but she winds up texting Melanie's dentist, so now she's stuck with him. [a chronic status updater? am I just too young for the demographic this show is going for?] Joy's hopeful date winds up to be Bob, who has brought his parents (deaf Canadians) to meet her. [what kind of shenanigan are they going for here?] Elka has taken a younger man, Luke, as a lover. Emmy arrives as Victoria's guest, and she's eight months pregnant AND married. [she couldn't make it to her mother's funeral in the previous episode, though?] The father is a teacher, which confuses Victoria, as she's used to actresses getting pregnant by directors or co-stars. [haha.] Emmy plans to name her baby Melon, and quit her series to raise the child. Victoria becomes more and more estranged, but when Emmy goes into labor on the way to the Premiere, Bob delivers the baby in the limo, and Victoria goes to the hospital with Emmy over attending the Premiere. [I bet the audience is supposed to go "awwww!" here, but not me. I was like, "seriously? another kid on this show??] 

Hot in Cleveland "Rusty Banks Rides Again" (S05E06): Victoria has each of her friends track down an Oscar voter who lives in the Cleveland area, with varying results. Elka's charge was a child actor who doesn't vote anymore because he doesn't act anymore. [yay, John Mahoney is back! and I'm laughing that he's an actor who became a waiter instead of the other way around!] Victoria offers to bankroll a dream movie for the guy, hoping to sway him into voting (for her). Joy's is a young lady in therapy who hardly speaks, so it's difficult to persuade her. Victoria infiltrates the situation to get the girl to give up acting and withdraw from being a nominee. [a bit too far, no?] Melanie was obsessed with hers as a teen and winds up being issued a restraining order to keep away from the man. 

Hot in Cleveland "The One With George Clooney" (S05E07): Joy has a relationship end, Victoria is forgetting things, and Melanie is going crazy with all of her doctor's appointments, so the girls decide to adopt a dog. An inspector comes by to see if they're "dog-ready," and the girls don't know how to answer most of his questions. [kinda funny.] He then hits on Melanie, Victoria, and Joy individually, playing to their weaknesses. After sleeping with each, he hits them up for money "for the animal shelter," and it's only hours before the girls realize they've been duped. He stole the shelter's database, but tries to get them to let him go by saying that they've probably all paid more for things that meant less. [what a con artist!] He gets arrested, the girls identify him, and a dog named George Clooney joins the household. [what, exactly, is this going to add to the show?]

Elsewhere, Elka and Mamie Sue learn that they're both dating Rusty, and the age-old conversation about sharing him happens before they decide to make him choose. [jigsaw puzzle innuendo.]  However, he's a mama's boy and wants her to pick for him, leaving the ladies to both leave him.  

MASSIVE ROUND-UP: Melissa & Joey: Together at Last

You probably thought I'd forgotten about this show, right? No, it just fell by the wayside as I've had other things going on, and then I couldn't decide what my stance was on it anymore... I was mad at Lennox for dating her TA, confused over Ryder's obsession with helping his teen-mother-girlfriend maintain a "normal" life, and wishy-washy over the whole Mel-and-Joe "thing." But, now I'm pretty clear on my opinions of this series, so I'm ready to give them and return to regular coverage once again. I'm still not happy with Lennox's situation - Zander never really seemed like that great of a guy to me. But, I like Ryder playing the field, even if he might have "gotten a home run" prematurely. As for Mel and Joe, we all knew that they were eventually going to get together, though they've hardly been dating and are now getting married in just a month, with the possibility of a baby probably not too far down the line. I'm definitely not getting behind the quickie wedding, but am looking forward to seeing how the writers decide to creatively construct that inevitable hilarity. 

facebook.com/MelissaandJoey

Melissa & Joey "House Broken" (S03E22): At the Farmer's Market, Mel sees a dog for adoption, and, despite Joe telling her that he isn't interested, she gets it anyway. [bad move.] Mel is convinced that she'll be able to care for Wendell on her own, with the help of a dogwalker. But, the teenager she hired gets grounded and Joe must care for the pup. [hahaha, teenagers!] Before long, Joe is using the dog to entertain his clients while they're waiting, and the dog clings to him - even coming into his room at night. [there are workout capris for guys?] But, the dog winds up belonging to someone else. [whew! glad we were able to ditch that responsibility!] Lennox helps Mel realize that she wants a baby, but Mel can't bring herself to admit it to Joe, who is intimidated by babies. [well, yeah.] 

Ryder has been caring for his girlfriend's baby more and more, and it seems that his ulterior motive is to be intimate with her. But, when he gets a one-on-one date with Stella, she promptly announces that she wants to go to college, so she will be avoiding sex. [good for her.]

Melissa & Joey "Couples Therapy" (S03E23): Mel loses a friend when the girl doesn't want to hang out with her and Joe, as they are constantly arguing. Mel thinks that they might have a problem, and wants to go to couples counseling. It turns out, the counselor dated Joe back in the day, so he listens to her suggestions. [ugh.] Mel accuses him of sucking up to his ex, and begins to wonder who broke up with whom. Both claim they were the dumper, so Mel decides they shouldn't be going to this therapist. [probably for the better!] The couple later has a heart-to-heart, where Joe admits that he was dumped but didn't want to disappoint Mel. [whatever.] 

Lennox is dating her philosophy TA, and Zander finds out online, so he comes running back to Ohio to warn Lennox that she could be making a mistake. [duh.] Lennox begins to wonder what her relationship is with the TA when he gives her an A on an assignment that she didn't even finish. [uhhh...]

Melissa & Joey "To Tell the Truth" (S03E24): Mel and Joe have not been successful in finding another couple to hang out with, so when a game night goes well, Mel is ecstatic that the other couple asks them out to dinner. [I'm kinda jealous right now, not gonna lie.] But, the guy, Nate, is thinking of breaking it off with his wife, which he confides in Joe, though Joe tells Mel. Well, Mel can't keep secrets so she blurts it out to Jillian over coffee, only to find out that it was a momentary situation, and the "d-word" got back to Jillian for no reason. [that sucks!] When Mel and Joe show up for their double-date, the other couple left two envelopes for them - each that has a secret the other couple kept. [we don't get to know what they were, though. boo. :(] 

Zander is still hanging around, and asks Ryder to hide him in the basement as he's continuing to check on Lennox. It's only a matter of time before Lennox finds him, though. [I scowled and shook my head over this ridiculous ploy.] 

Melissa & Joey "My Roof, My Rules" (S03E25): Lennox's boyfriend sleeps over, but Joe and Mel soon learn that Emerson is a TA, which is a bigger problem. Mel forbids him from coming over, which prompts Lennox to move out. [so.much.drama.with.teenagers!] Joe suggests that Mel cut her off, but Mel is afraid that taking away Lennox's tuition, credit cards, and birth control will leave her to be a college-drop-out young mother. But, the loudness and grossness at Emerson's sends her home to shower and relax, and seeing her niece leads Mel to allow Emerson over. Lennox rebels by cleaning Emerson's bathroom, but his roommate's bird flies out the window. The older guy chastises the college freshman for doing things "without his authorization," so she breaks it off and moves home. [this was getting more and more unbelievable, so good riddance!] But, she doesn't want to go crawling back, so Joe helps her stage a kicking-and-screaming situation, but Mel doesn't buy it. [ha!] 

Meanwhile, Ryder is supposed to be on a French trip to Montreal, but he forgot his passport and must wait at a hotel near the border with his homeroom teacher. [both times I traveled overseas on school trips we had to turn in our passports to the school the school day before we left so nobody could forget it the day of, LoL.] Ryder asks Mel to find it and drive it up to him, but she and Joe can't locate it. Turns out, he had it the whole time, and got sucked into a Walking Dead marathon instead. [what?!? how was that acceptable??!?] And, as soon as he's back home, he loses track of his passport again. [serious eye roll!]

Melissa & Joey "Chaperones" (S03E26): Mel pays Lennox to babysit Stella's daughter so Ryder can go to the Prom with his girlfriend, then takes Joe to chaperone the event. But, Stella doesn't seem interested in Ryder anymore, and Joe tells him to break it off, but Mel and Lennox claim that you can't dump a girl right before a dance. [um, you can't. just like around her birthday, Valentine's Day, and Christmas. Those are all black-out dates.] He decides to stick with her, but when they go to leave for the dance, Isabelle is burning up, and they have to stay home with the baby. [liked Mel's dress. Stella's was ugly and not dance-ish.] At the dance, Joe realizes he likes to bust kids breaking the rules, but when Mel tells Joe that he's not being any fun, they mess around in a coach's office and almost get caught. [why are the dresses so much more casual than the ones we wore fifteen years ago??] Unfortunately, they confess when some teens are about to get blamed, and are thrown out. [inappropriate parent conduct seems to happen so frequently at televised school dances...] Meanwhile, Ryder and Stella have sex, and, afterward, he lets her check her email on his computer, but she sees the break-up speech he was writing. [uh oh.] 

Melissa & Joey "I'll Cut You" (S03E27): Joe gets into a fender-bender, and it turns out that the woman who hit him was Mel's hairdresser, Calista. [Mel has a back tattoo!] Mel doesn't want trouble, so she lies to Joe and says the woman will pay the $800 in two installments, but just pays it herself. Lennox catches her, and so does Joe, when he goes to thank Calista in person. [can't let a sleeping dog lie...] Mel gets banned from the salon mid-highlights, and her head is a wreck. [omg!] Lennox can't fix it, and when Mel's hair begins to break off in clumps, Lennox convinces Joe to go apologize to Calista and fix the problem, though it's Lennox's threat of spreading negative publicity that makes Calista agree to fix Mel. [oh, the power of social media!] 

Over at the high school, Ryan tries to win back Stella, making a grand gesture of a holding up cue cards during a song played on a boombox during biology class. [he seriously tried to talk to her during a class that he's not in??] She leaves the class without saying whether or not she'd forgive him, but later says that her baby eats up too much time for her to be dating. And, another girl starts hitting on Ryder. [meh. I didn't care about Stella anyway.] 

Melissa & Joey "Catch & Release" (S03E28): Lennox and Zander work on their comic, and he asks her out again. [really? we're back to that??] He's also about to move in with two women, though, and attend college in Toledo once more. When Lennox disapproves of his living arrangements, he accuses her of being jealous, which she denies. [of course.] 

One of Joe's friends is single again, so he acts as a wing-man when they're out, even though he doesn't want to. He plays obnoxious around the ladies, but still brings home a few phone numbers, which Ryder claims are his to save Joe in front of Mel. [nice play, Ryder!] Unfortunately, Joe and Mel head to a work event of hers and they run into a woman to whom he pretended to be a secret agent. [sounds like a Barney Stinson problem...] Mel is upset when Joe admits that part of him wanted to know if he "still had it," but once she blurts out that she has fantasies, they make up. [oooookay....]

Melissa & Joey "Born to Run" (S03E29): Mel's father visits, and he's not surprised that she's dating Joe. In fact, he thought they were intimate since Joe became the nanny. [I hate when parents assume things about relationships!] Joe gets the man his first smartphone, but he winds up spamming out his private parts. Because of this, Mel is worried that her run for State Senate is over, and the Governor pulls his support. Mel questions if she should run, but her reasoning might have more to do with the fact that it would put her away from Joe five days each week. [because Joe couldn't move across the state because....??] As soon as things turn around in the public, but Joe suggests that she wait a year and run for Congress instead, which she decides to do. [too bad; I was looking forward to the campaigning episodes!] Meanwhile, Ryder decides to make money on the scandal by having shirts made, though Lennox guilts him out of selling them. Fortunately, Grandpa actually loves the shirts and buys them from Ryder, thus giving him a successful entrepreneurial endeavor to put on his resume. [the luck!] 

Melissa & Joey "More than Roommates" (S03E30): Joe's mother sends him his grandmother's chair, but Mel isn't a fan. [I hate Joe's shirt.] She's having an in-house interview in a few days, so she tries to manipulate Joe into moving the chair, but he sees through her. However, when Mel dreams of seeing Nona's ghost, she heeds the spirit's advice that she must accept the chair to accept Joe. [so weird!] Mel tries to get accustomed to the piece of furniture, but accidentally spills red wine on it and Joe thinks it was done purposefully. They fight over the chair, and find $10,000 inside from Nona! [this is a little too early 90s TV here, don't ya think?] 

Ryder helps Zander's roommates move some furniture, and he pretends to be a college senior, which quickly gets him "lucky." But, Ryder is hung up on her, despite the fact that she moves on immediately... to Zander. [awkward!]

Melissa & Joey "Accidents Will Happen" (S03E31): Joe asks Mel to leave him alone for 48 hours so he can focus on a presentation to secure a loan, so when she realizes she's pregnant (first by learning it's been six weeks since she yelled at Ryder for a math test, then taking an old home pregnancy test) she keeps it a secret while trying to gauge what Joe's reaction will be. [these types of storylines are really icky to me... if the answer isn't "happy," then maybe you're not making the best choices.] Lennox learns of the truth, but must then pretend she's the one expecting when Joe finds the test in the trash. [she was incredibly unconvincing, but Joe didn't want to see that, LoL.] Joe thinks Zander is the father, so he confronts the teen... who says they haven't had sex in 8 months. [some great acting from Joey Lawrence when Mel's talking about Lennox's car accident but he thinks she's talking about Lennox's pregnancy! reminiscent of the Frasier when Roz's little secret slips out!] Zander starts to tell Lennox that he'll be there for her, and they wind up getting back together. [THIS is what does it??] To top it all off, Joe doesn't get the loan, because of his history with Scanlon. [that sucks.] Mel goes to see her doctor and learns that it was a false positive, leaving her with mixed emotions. [small Sabrina, The Teenage Witch reunion with her doctor!]

Elsewhere in the house Ryder starts taking math seriously because of Mel's lecture, though he seems to spend more time helping his tutor, Preston, look good in front of Layla, another tutored student. 

Melissa & Joey "Right Time, Right Place" (S03E32): Mel's friend is getting married at her dream venue, so Mel is gushing about the location, even if it has a two-year waiting list. [I don't know if there even IS a venue with such a wait where I got married, LoL!] The bride and groom to-be break up because he had a secret second family, and there are four weeks before the big day, so Mel decides to try using the reservations to marry Joe. [between the large chair in the dining room and the round table near the bay window, the decor in the house is a little weird now.] He's hesitant, but Lennox thinks it's because he wants to pull off a romantic one-of-a-kind proposal first. [I guess that's a reasonable way of looking at it?] Ryder sees Joe at a jewelry store, then hears him confirming reservations at a nice restaurant, so Lennox and Mel think "it's the night." [love how they went to pick out an "engagement dress" like on Legally Blonde!] But, although Joe is acting strange, the biggest step he takes at dinner is asking Mel if he can share her bedroom. Then, back at home, Joe pulls out a Tiffany's bag and gifts Ryder a nice watch, leading Mel to flip out on Joe. [thank God my husband proposed when I didn't even know engagement was on the horizon yet! I don't think I could handle the anxiety of these situations!] Then, Joe pulls out a ring box, says they'll use the reservation of her friend's, and leads Mel to a candlelit backyard with a live band. Unfortunately, she flips out that the wedding is four weeks away, as there's a lot to be done.
While all of that drama is occurring, Ryder tries to get a job, so Lennox tells him to lie on his resume and pretend he has experience. [um, he has SOME experience. remember that entrepreneurial shirt business only a few episodes ago??]