1600 Penn: Wrapping It Up

It's been thirteen episodes already, and the past four have aired within two weeks. These final two episodes received less than two million viewers each, so it's pretty safe to say that this is the end of 1600 Penn, a show that could have been so much more. However, at least the end of the season managed to give the audience a little hint of the directions that would be taken next. The first episode, "Bursting the Bubble" was pretty straight-forward, really. Although there were twists in both plots, someone just rose to the occasion and everything worked out. The second ("Marry Me, Baby"), however, couldn't have been more dramatic. In fact, when it was over I told my husband that I couldn't have written in more shenanigans if I tried! Anything you can think of to make that story crazier?

1600 Penn "Bursting the Bubble" (S01E12): The Princess of Andorra is visiting, and she wants Skip to escort her to a gala. [I love how quickly that got him out of his funk!] but, it turns out that she's a bad girl, and she drags Skip out to a rave instead of the fancy event. [didn't this happen to Will on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? he was supposed to take a girl to an opera and she wanted to hit the clubs?] Fortunately, Marshall saves the day.

Becca and DB are babysitting the younger kids for the night, and Becca wants to use it as a dry-run for parenting. [except your siblings never behave like other charges, LoL.] DB is less structured but winds up getting the kids to do their homework when Becca becomes obsessed with beating a video game that mystified Marigold and Xander. [I laughed at the fact that they just watched other people play!]

1600 Penn "Marry Me, Baby" (S01E13): [love Emily's dress!] Dale makes a joke about weddings and now there's an issue with the fact that he can't find his own marriage certificate. At first it seems that Skip never mailed it, so Dale and Emily plan a big ceremony to replace the small courthouse affair that sealed their nuptials years ago. It's a big hassle to plan, however, as it seems that every selection is potentially offensive to someone. [but it was a big too exaggerated...] Emily actually finds the original certificate but they go through with the ceremony anyway. [was I the only one not to care for Emily's gown?] It would have been a double wedding, actually, if DB had his way. When Becca turns down his proposal, the kid turns to Marshall for advice, hoping to learn what he could do for the soon-to-be mother of his child. Anyway, back to the wedding... Skip decides to sing to Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" as Stacey plays it on the harp. [I laughed at the fact that Skip is so into The Goonies that he thinks this is one of her lesser-known works!]

Byron Cohen/NBC

But, Becca's water breaks during the song so the nuptials are truncated and Emily takes Becca to the hospital as Dale, Skip, and Marshall ("just in case there's any unexpected press issues in the car") head to Old Navy to get DB. [I laughed SO HARD at Marshall's line that I cried!] Skip kisses Stacey as he leaves, and she admits that she does like him. [so, you can see that future episodes would probably see them attempting to date once again.] In the car on the way to the mall, Marshall tells the President about his year-long relationship with Becca, but Dale already knew. [I found it out-of-place for Marshall to admit to this now (it wasn't that related to DB running off), but we see why soon enough...]

At the mall, DB has quit Old Navy and has joined the real Navy. [haha that as soon as Dale says that he's proud of DB, Skip asks for a pamphlet!] Still, he heads over to the hospital with the others, and they wind of running the last ten blocks to the hospital because of the traffic. [I really laughed at how Dale realized that people must hate the messes the First Family causes!] At the hospital, Becca and Emily come to terms with their relationship. [so that tension is gone for the fictional second season.] And, when Becca goes to deliver the baby, DB acts as her hypnosis tape, despite the fact that he was skeptical of it in the first place. [that was very "DB," I thought.] When Becca's son is born, his skin is dark, and it's implied that it's actually Marshall's baby. [and this is the end of DB. and why Marshall had to admit to his relationship with Becca. and the start of a new scandal of sorts, really.]

Favorite Episodes: Firefly

It's been a while since I did a Favorites Post, and because I recently went through and watched the entire series of Firefly, I thought I'd give that an entry. Now, if you're not familiar with the cult series, it was a sci-fi western that ran only fourteen episodes before FOX canceled it. Creator Joss Whedon was notably very upset about the show not thriving, though he was able to make a film to wrap up things a little bit. Firefly has grown in followers over the years, and there was a huge to-do for it at Comic-Con last year. It was only after that, in fact, that I realized I must cave and watch this series. I liked it but didn't love it, so thankfully it was short.

wikipedia

Anyway, I thought I'd mention my favorite thing about each of the episodes today, rather than my typical routine of going through and picking the best episode from each season. I'm going with the chronological order to the story, not the order in which the episodes first appeared (a very possible reason as to why the show didn't do that well when it originally aired).

1. "Serenity" This is not one of the best episodes, in my opinion, which may be the reason FOX chose not to air it first, though it does a great job of explaining who is who and how they ended up on this particular spaceship. My favorite scene is actually the flashback to war times - you really get a sense of Zoe's commitment to Mal.

2. "The Train Job" This episode definitely embraces the "sci-fi western" theme, which is why I think it aired first. It also showcases how "weird" River can be, with her "two by two, hands of blue" repeated rhyme, which is definitely the part of the episodes that intrigued me most.

3. "Bushwhacked" I was dying to understand Reavers from the moment I began watching this series, and was surprised to learn that television viewers never really got the full effect - they'd have to wait for the movie for that! In this episode, however, we only get a sparse introduction. Never fear, though... my favorite part was actually Simon and River hiding outside the ship!

4. "Shindig" The ball is my favorite, of course! Kaylee might not have known what she was doing at such a fancy event, but I loved watching her throughout it.

5. "Safe" My problem with this episode is that it really starts getting me fired up about Shepherd, for whom we never get a full backstory. On the flip side, my favorite part of this episode is how much we learn about Simon and River's past, from the time they played as children until Simon fought with his parents, believing River was in danger.

6. "Our Mrs. Reynolds" Back to the western idea again. On a related note, it's not high up on my list. However, I really liked the idea of Inara and Mal being a couple, and this episode truly shows her caring about him when she kisses him. Rarely is a romantic scene my favorite, but he was unconscious because of poison anyway.

7. "Jaynestown" I think this is the installment that I found most odd. The idea that Jayne is worshiped in a small village and didn't know about it astonishes me to a point. My favorite part of the episode, however, takes place on the ship, where River rewrites Shepherd's Bible! It was just so unexpected and funny.

8. "Out of Gas" This episode is so incredibly that I was frozen as I watched the events proceed. It's probably my favorite, as despite all of the edge-of-your-seat drama that takes place as Mal suffers from a lack of oxygen, we get so much great detail about the other characters, particularly Kaylee. 

9. "Ariel" Another great episode, though it makes me hate Jayne a little more after he tries to sell-out River and Simon. The better storyline, however, is Mal and Zoey wheeling bodies through the hospital and then stealing drugs to sell. I came close to choosing the scene where Mal almost kills Jayne, though...

10. "War Stories" I'd be surprised if you went with something other than the scene where River demonstrates that she can shoot people without looking at them. The entire rescue mission was fairly impressive, but I think I'd be like Kaylee after experiencing it - fearful of what, exactly, River is capable of doing!

11. "Trash" I can't believe Saffron is back! And now married to someone else! I think the Robin Hood aspect appealed most to me - the gang working on an elaborate heist to steal from the rich and give to the poor. Of course, nothing is straightforward on this series, so there have to be some twists, and that's where things really get exciting - like overriding a trash chute, only to wind up with the trash pickup not going as planned.

12. "The Message" This was actually the first episode I saw, years ago when I was at my husband's family's house for the holidays. And, the one scene that stuck with me from that viewing wound up being my favorite... when Tracey wakes up from "being dead" and eventually admits that he is smuggling special organs in this body. Talk about the future of medicine!

13. "Heart of Gold" Definitely one of my least-favorite episodes (those heavy western elements kill me!), this one takes place at a brothel where there's a pregnant Companion. The title of the episode really describes Mal - he'll take on a mission for Inara, and my favorite scene is the two of them together - neither wants to admit their feelings, but they're so present it's unmistakable. 

14. "Objects in Space" The obvious and overstated favorite scene in this episode is toward the end, where River reveals that she's hiding on the enemy's ship. My favorite, however, is the fact that River goes around reading minds... I guess I had kind of figured that she could do it, but I was still surprised when she started demonstrating that ability almost continuously.

AND, BONUS, the movie Serenity: This one is really easy for me. As someone who really wanted to learn more about the Reavers, my favorite part of the film was the log that the gang watches when they're on the uninhabited planet. It explains that the Alliance had wanted to chemically induce suppressed aggression, but not only did it go too far, some people had the opposite reaction, becoming the hyper-aggressive Reavers.

Well, what were your favorite parts of Firefly?

The Middle: Sue's Middle Name; Cassidy & Cliff?

While most comedies (including this one) focus on just two storylines per episode, it's refreshing to see more work their way to the surface without shortchanging others. And, although it was interesting to see some different things going on around the house, uncovering Janet's true reason for coming over bothered me a bit... I wanted her to be there for her sister, not secretly want help because she's raised a hellion and doesn't know what to do about it! Still, it was a good episode, from Mike tearing down the banner celebrating Sue's new name to Axl learning that love isn't all peaches and cream. I think that Sue's storyline was probably initially larger, as it would make sense that she'd consult her friends and the internet over "cool" names, which we did not see her do at all. But, cutting that meant room for a guest star, so c'est la vie.

The Middle "The Name" (S04E18): Frankie's sister, Janet, shows up to run the household for a week so that Frankie can study for her finals. [but this is the Heck house, so Frankie clearly has to spend a lot of time explaining how their rigged washing machine, microwave, etc. work!] Janet helps Brick with a popsicle bridge project, but he forgets to bring it inside and it gets ruined, so he has to make another, this time preferring his mother's assistance. [haha! when Brick is whispering and goes to repeat something, he says it loudly!] Still, Janet manages to make a big difference during the week, including making meals from scratch, something to which the family is not accustomed!

facebook.com/TheMiddle

Sue fails the test for her driver's license, but, true to character, sees the bright side of the experience - if she had passed, she'd have a license that read "Sue Sue Heck." [she REALLY failed! speeding, failure to obey a sign, backing over a curb, running off the road, AND clipping the side of a building??!?] With Janet's support, Sue decides it's time for her to legally change her middle name. [I'm surprised that Frankie and Mike really didn't care much about what Sue chose!] Sue considers Bijou, Coco, Paris, Brooklyn, and Gatlinburg... but when the family doesn't seem to care for any of those, she picks some random names from a baby book, like Bertha, Gertrude, and Sylvia. Finally, she actually lands on "Sue," which she learns means "lily." [really? she never knew what her name meant? I remember looking up my name (and my friends' names!) in 8th grade.] She likes the sound of "Sue Lily" and spends the day at the courthouse filling out paperwork and waiting in lines... until she gets to the front of the final line and panics, thinking "Betsy" or "Mackenzie" would be nice, because "Sue Lily" is as redundant as "Sue Sue." [true. that was my first thought when she chose that name.] But, when the woman at the desk finds "Sue Sue" to be the most unusual name she's ever seen, Sue decides to keep it at the last minute. [I started to see that coming, but I was nearly certain she'd manage to pick SOMETHING else!]

So, while Mike loses a day with Sue at the courthouse and Frankie loses some study time helping Brick, it's Axl who has the roughest time. While at Cassidy's parents' house for dinner, Cliff, Cassidy's old boyfriend, shows up to return a book. [they sure do pick some odd names for the characters on this show!] He's invited to stay, making for an awkward meal. Then, the guy shows up at school to remind Cassidy of a volunteer commitment they made long ago. Axl volunteers to come, too, wanting to impress Cassidy... though building houses for Habitat for Humanity is not his forte. Axl begins to get jealous of Cliff, but after talking to Mike, realizes he just needs to be more assertive. [I don't think that's it...] Unfortunately, when he goes to bring Cassidy a rose, he finds her going someplace with Cliff yet again.

The New Normal: David and the Boy Scouts

I want to say that I loved this episode, but I did not. I was very moved by how David's BSA storyline played out, with how he and Bryan confronted the fathers, how David disassociated himself after learning there was hatred around him, and how the "guilty" father admitted to David that he's a great guy, but not a "normal role model." These were all important and powerful moments. Yes, it did mean that the episode ended on a sour note, but we don't yet live in a world where homosexuals and heterosexuals are equal. Someday, pop culture professors might use clips from this episode to showcase how things were in 2013. But, before I launch into a personal diatribe, I'll get back to the reason I didn't love this episode - everything else. Very little Shania, a strange and out-of-nowhere storyline for Rocky and Brice, and Goldie acting out of character as well. As the season draws to a close, I'm not too impressed with what's going on and hope that the writers don't leave too many cliffhangers... not only will it be sad if they're not closed, but I think that opening multiple cans of worms is not a great technique for a rookie series.

The New Normal "About a Boy Scout" (S01E20): David is an Eagle Scout and looks forward to his son following in those footsteps, so when one of his friends suggests David chaperone an overnight camping trip, David jumps at the chance to pull out his old uniform and dive into the wilderness. [Girl Scouts don't have these as adults. at least not that I've ever seen!] A lie of omission keeps the other fathers from finding out that David is gay, until he hosts a cub scout meeting and introduces the group to Bryan. [I was impressed with the amount of time it looked like it would have taken to put together that presentation on insects and arachnids!] One of the fathers is very happy to hear about David's life, but another takes issue with it and turns in David to the BSA, which promptly revokes his membership. [which we all saw coming.] He confronts the fathers of the troop and asks who turned him in, but nobody steps up, and David turns in his sash. [awww.] One of the scouts quits because of the discrimination, and it was that boy's father who called the national office about David. The guy doesn't want David to be his son's role model, as he wants his son to "be normal." [and this is a quintessential moment for this show, title and all.]

Trae Patton/NBC

Elsewhere, Rocky attends a Loveaholics Anonymous meeting and finds out that Brice is also a member. [see? I told you this came from out of nowhere!] He talks about how he makes women fall in love with him easily, worrying Rocky because Brice has been spending a lot of time with Goldie. Rocky confronts him, then warns Goldie, who admits to crushing on Brice. Rocky encourages Goldie to be independent and not worry about having a man in her life, and she decides to heed that advice. [plus, it's awkward to go after the same man your grandmother wants!]

Go On: Ryan and Anne Make a Play for the Same Woman...

I had forgotten that Courteney Cox was guest-starring in this episode, which led me to say "is that Monica?" as Chandler Ryan spotted her for the first time in the cemetery. Oh, and by the way, I found that to be very odd... I mean, I know that you meet people everywhere you go, but making a play for someone you met at a graveyard is a bit more extraordinary than normal, no? Even more head-tilting, however, is Yolanda walking around on a cruise with a laptop, trying to get Lauren's help to meet men. And, although I half-expected to see Steven hanging around the ship, just trying to get laid, the whole Yolanda storyline felt "wrong" to me. Did you like it? Did you find it funny? Were you disturbed by it? Oh, and on an unrelated note, do you think Sonia's parents being deaf is at all a result from the attention Switched at Birth has been getting? You know, they're making deaf culture cool...

Go On "Matchup Problems" (S01E20): Anne sets up Ryan to meet a grieving widow, Talia, but when he asks her out, he winds up inviting Anne on the date. [haha!] Talia milks the waiter for cheap drinks and free buffalo wings for the three mourners, but what's worse is that she's hitting on both of them, as she isn't sure in whom she's most interested. [...what??] She asks them both out for the following night, and the both go for it, though the waiters are pulling for Ryan. [ha!] He goes home with the woman and soon learns that Anne turned down Talia because she got the crazy vibe from her. [uh oh...] Well, Talia steals a car and runs red lights, ending things as quickly as they began. [oh well!]

Justin Lubin/NBC

Yolanda's parents want to marry her off, so they're making her wear a fitted dress and fake breasts, AND they sent her on an Asian Christian Singles cruise. [apparently "marry me off" is still a term... who knew?] While cruising, she skypes the group's meeting, and Lauren tries to help her, though a guy soon starts hitting on her over the computer. She doesn't realize her flirting is harmful, however, until one guy offers up his genitals on the screen. [and Yolanda was where during this??]

2 Broke Girls: A Hole in the Floor/Ceiling

How long do you think that intrusive hole will connect the apartments? If it's still there next episode, how much do you want to bet that Sophie has a dumbwaiter system set up so she can receive freshly baked cupcakes? If it's not there, this episode didn't really serve a great purpose, in my opinion. Of course, it was just renewed, so no big deal to have a junky episode, but I don't think it did much. Unless the hole remains or we start to see Oleg's apartment more (or if he and Sophie begin to be more serious about one another), it's not a big deal, and this episode really didn't have a lot of self-contained laughs, either. Agree or disagree?

2 Broke Girls "And the Big Hole" (S02E20): Oleg and Sophie have been "getting it on" so much and so loudly that Caroline has trouble sleeping. However, the final straw breaks when the duo busts a hole through their floor and the girls' ceiling. [has anyone ever had this happen in real life? because it seems to happen on television A LOT.] A bowling ball repeatedly falls through the hole (marked with black plastic in the picture), so Caroline suggests the couple go to Oleg's.

Adam Rose/Warner Bros.

But, his place is quite the dump and he hires Caroline to give it a feminine touch. Of course, she takes it from a bad 1980s porno to an elderly woman's decor after accidentally poking a hole in the waterbed with her heels. [who walks on a bed with heels anyway?] Oleg winds up professing his love to Sophie, who just says that she likes him a little bit, though she'd much rather he live in his old place after hearing more about it. [she sure is a strange one!]

Oh. How did Caroline have the time to redecorate Oleg's? Well, after being 20 minutes late to work and insulting the food and the diner, Han fires her. [I know. you'd think that she's be a little more professional!] She doesn't want to apologize but Max scares off other applicants for the position and tries to convince Han to hire back Caroline. It takes a while, and they all wind up at Oleg's place, but he actually gives her back her job without her having to give a big apology. [I would definitely have required an apology, personally!]

Cupcakery Savings: $205.00.

The Duggars Went to Asia

If the trip was three weeks and ten days of it was in Japan, was 11 days of it in China? Something didn't add up there, but obviously a lot of the trip wasn't included in these three vacation installments. I personally found the Kyoto segment to be the best of the three, but it was pretty interesting to see the family's reactions to everything that they did over in Asia. I was as annoyed as ever at JimBob not really caring that he didn't speak the language, but his ignorance is nothing new. I was intrigued that they chose to include Anna buying and taking a pregnancy test when the result came back as negative, but maybe that was simply to play up the ending and get viewers to tune in for the new season, where she carries baby #3 as her husband and father-in-law try to work off some extra pounds. I'm curious to see what TLC can find to keep filming about this family, are you? 

19 Kids and Counting: Duggars Do Asia "Tokyo, Japan" (Special): For this trip, the family needs 250 changes of clothes (10 days worth) and 50 pairs of shoes (two per person). [haha, Grandma packs herself.] 29 suitcases and 10 carry-ons later, 25 people are out the door three minutes early. [which is probably a record for them!] However, they ended up running for the gate because it took so long to check all of the luggage. [figures!] Aya and Tomo, their guides, met them at the airport, and led them via an hour-long bus ride to the hotel. [that WAS a beautiful view! but I don't understand where these guides went for the bulk of the rest of the trip??]

The next morning they celebrate Michelle's birthday with a traditional Japanese breakfast, including miso soup, rice, fermented soy beans, dried seaweed, boiled fish, and green tea cake. Surprisingly, Jordyn was one of the more adventurous eaters.

The next stop was to exchange money, then off to the "100 yen store" for some souvenirs and to see if they could find anything that was imported from America. [they could not.] They also struggle to find someone who can speak English so they can get directions. [what happened to their guides? and have they given up dressing everyone in the same color? only some family members do it. and they didn't have any maps or anything with them??] The girls go shopping for kimonos for the little girls, and Anna and Josh take a mini-excursion to get caricatures. [I don't believe it was coincidence that the whole family showed up at the same place...] Then, they take rides on rickshaws, and Joseph even tried pulling one!

On to a "sushi academy" where they start the experience by hunting around at a fish market for the ingredients. [this was kinda boring, I thought.] Michelle's team includes Grandma, Josh, John-David, Jill, Joseph, Joy Anna, Jeremiah, Jason, Justin, Jackson, Jennifer, and Mackynzie. JimBob's team featured Anna, Jana, Jessa, Jinger, Josiah, Jedidiah, James, Johannah, Josie, and Michael. They needed to find tachiuo, iwagaki, tai, tako, and hamachi in ten minutes, and Anna managed to power through the language barrier while Michelle's team cheated and bought multiple items from the same vendor. [I love that Michelle defaulted to "si" for yes!] Still, JimBob is declared the loser and has to eat Josie's sushi. [what an odd penalty!] Anna didn't have to work with the raw fish because she was trying to get pregnant. 

19 Kids and Counting: Duggars Do Asia "Kyoto, Japan" (Special): This episode actually starts in Tokyo. The family does a live television appearance, then had a bus take them to another show. They see a huge statue, some fish cutting, try some fresh-cut tuna, and go to an indoor carnival of sorts that had a bunch of activities. They tried to catch as many goldfish as they could in one minute with paper nets - the entire family caught 30 in one minute, whereas the Japanese master caught 22. [wow!]

Then, they took a bullet train (Shinkansen) two and a half hours to get to Kyoto, 325 miles away. JimBob again struggled to get directions in English, but made sure to say "Gracias" in appreciation to gestures. [eye roll!] The next day, the older girls and Michelle tried out the traditional look of Japanese makeup and kimonos. [neat... but I bet it was overpriced.] Jinger found it disturbing, so it took her a while to say "yes." Meanwhile, the boys had Samurai lessons with fake swords. They act out a scene from a movie, which they altered to fit the Duggars a bit. [haha, "not all pickles and hairspray" instead of "peaches and cream."]

TLC

Another thing they did was check out a capsule hotel, where everyone took a nap in a pod. [I honestly never even knew these existed until a friend of mine went to Japan a couple of years ago!] Anna snuck off to buy a pregnancy test to take while they're in China. Everyone went for dinner at a place that specializes in pickled items on buffet. There were 25 different pickled dishes, and most of the kids liked the pickled cucumbers best. [haha, how boring! I personally love pickled radishes!]

19 Kids and Counting: Duggars Do Asia "Beijing, China" (Special): It was a 3.5-hour flight to Beijing from Kyoto, and the first sight there is Tiananman Square. JimBob buys 24 tickets for less than $8 (who didn't pay?), but the subway cars are so full that the family has to wait for several trains, and even then they had to split into multiple cars to have room. [it happens. not a big deal.] JimBob asks their cameraman to teach them a few Chinese phrases and some etiquette. [now?? wasn't this something they could have been working on??]

The next day, they head to the Great Wall of China and spend the night in a small village. This gives them a more authentic experience, complete with a home-cooked meal. [cool.] That night, Josh and Anna snuck off so she could take the pregnancy test she bought in Japan, which turns out to be negative. [she didn't seem too disappointed... but I guess she got used to seeing negative results when they were trying for Mackynzie.] It rained the next day, so the family goes souvenir shopping, and JimBob negotiated to pay $16 for items for the family. They see another section of the wall and then head back to Beijing.

Then, Scott and Courtney, part of the production team, head to the hospital because her water breaks. [yikes!] Jana and Jill go to the hospital to be there for Courtney, but there are a lot of different regulations, like not allowing Courtney to move around and trying to keep Scott from the delivery room. Scott makes his way in anyway, and the baby is born within an hour of active labor. [dang!] After the baby (Leah Adee) was born, they couldn't see her for three days, as she was in the NICU on oxygen. [I don't think I could handle that. I'd be so super paranoid of what was happening to my little one without me there!] Meanwhile, the Duggars kept touring Beijing, enjoying the cuisine. After some Peking duck, they go to Snack Street and see scorpions, sparrows, and fried snake.

The family does a service project at an orphanage where they spend time with the children, bring them shoes and backpacks, and write wishes on ribbons to tie onto the trees as a blessing. [interesting...] Michelle then hints around that maybe their family will consider adopting in the future. [...ummm...?]

Anna's most memorable moments were baby Leah and going to the orphanage. [really? Things you could have done in America?] Jill talks about the Great Wall and the markets. [why not ask any of the middle-age kids what they enjoyed??]

Two days after they get home, Anna finds out that she IS pregnant, but she's waiting to announce it to the family.

Bates Motel: Suspicious Characters Around Town

A body burning in the town square? Yeah, I'm kinda freaked out about this town! Perfect title for the episode, though! The creepy factor continues to concern me, and I am still not sure if I'll make it through the entire season before I won't be able to watch any more. It was interesting to see Norman's half-brother, Dylan, make an appearance already, as I had initially found it weird he was at the TCA presentation when he was not in the pilot. His arrival certainly helped the flow of the episode, though, as we learned more and more about what secret corruption there is throughout the area and just how widespread the evil may be. I liked Norman being given another "friend," though I was surprised that he allowed Emma to take the secret journal of drawings. Who knows what will happen next! Any theories on what's going on or what will take place in the future?
 
Bates Motel  "Nice Town You Picked, Norma..." (S01E02): Norman's half-brother, Dylan, shows up and causes some trouble around the house. He's still upset that Norma drove away his father and ended up with Norman's father, Sam. Plus, he's suspicious about Sam's death. [me, too.] Dylan soon gets involved with some shady characters in town. Norman gets really upset when he finds out that Dylan has their mother in his phone as "the whore," and tries to badly injure (or even kill) his brother. Dylan catches him, though, and deflects.

Joseph Lederer

At the bus stop, Norman and some kids see Bradley's father drive by out of control. [I still forget that Bradley is a girl's name on this show.] He crashes and they go after him, only to find he's been badly burned - his warehouse was lit on fire. [yikes!] He winds up in a coma and Norman brings a potted plant to his friend. [did that not seem odd to anyone else?] In searching around after the car crash, the police find Keith's truck and search for him, too, as he hasn't been home in days. [but that not being uncommon was weird in itself.] The police later return to question Norma, who explains that Keith did come over, but nothing terrible happened. The Sheriff wants to search the place, but she knows he needs a warrant to do that. [though, let's not lie... if you don't acquiesce to the requests of authority, you're probably hiding something.] Norma tells Norman about it, then goes for coffee with Deputy Shelby, who informs her that there are some bad guys in town who take matters into their own hands. [not gonna lie, I was a little worried after that... and even more so after seeing the burning body in the square! why wasn't it at least extinguished before allowing traffic to pass it?!?]

In class, Norman has to partner up and write about why a classic poem is still relevant in today's world. [cool assignment!] His partner, Emma, who has cystic fibrosis, comes by the next day, and comes across the journal of drawings Norman has. She borrows it and later texts him to come to her father's shop, where she reveals that she has figured out part of the story - it's about Chinese sex slaves. [whaaaa???!?] She wants to figure out if it's true by going to look for a grave, and he accompanies her to the woods. They stumble upon some pot fields and are spotted, so they run back to the car and barely escape. [eerily weird.]

Secret Life: Kathy's Coming Back, but George has the BIG News!

"Took a powder" - do you know what that means? I had to look it up... apparently, it means to leave to avoid an unpleasant situation. Please tell me I'm not the only one who had never heard this phrase before! Now, the bigger question... how much longer will the happiness in this family last? 

http://beta.abcfamily.go.com/shows/secret-life-american-teenager

I'm not sure. I'm as shocked as the next person that Ben seems to be over Amy, and I'm really confused over whether he's going to make a play for Grace at this point or what his plan is. Now that we know both Ricky AND Amy have doubts about their future, I'm struggling to hypothesize what will become of them. The tagline for this final half-season is "together forever," which I would think would apply to these two characters more than anyone else. However, I don't know that they're good together, and I think that they both only really fell for one another because of the circumstances. Sure, they've each grown a lot over the past 3-4 years, but is that enough?

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "It's a Miracle" (S05E14): Ricky tells his therapist (Lauren's dad) that he thinks Amy will back out of the wedding. He says that he is in love with her, but knows that she's not in love with him, so he doesn't want to marry her - he deserves better. [that's smart.] He also admits that he's not already married. [ouch. more and more people are figuring this out...] He's also thinking about cheating on Amy, but won't actually do it. [this is new!]

Omar's student teaching is over, and he receives a million dollars to make a set of videos where the best teachers showcase their lesson plans for a year. [this sounds like a really big project he proposed to a bunch of people... how had Adrian not heard about it at all??] To celebrate, he proposes to Adrian with an heirloom ring.

Ben never made it to school and completely forgot about driving Chloe home. [how far away is this airport??] He wishes Amy a good life and moves on. See, that morning, when talking to Ethan, Ben realized that he only fell for Amy because Grace wasn't interested in him. That night, he goes to meet his parents for dinner but it was a set-up... he has dinner with Dylan instead. [this was a strange move on Leo's part, I feel.] Later, he tells Leo he doesn't think he loves Dylan, but he needs to get over Amy. 

In Texas, Ethan tries to talk to Kathy's father about her living with him in California. But, her father feels like Kathy shouldn't be "comfortable" and "having fun" but feel guilty and ashamed. [I wonder if I'd feel the same...] The housekeeper tells Ethan to act more masculine if he's going to win over Kathy's father, but Ethan's final plea is actually based on love and volunteering to be castrated. [WHOA!] Kathy she claims that she's really become more independent in California, and her parents decide to let her stay the rest of the school year in California. [meh. honestly, there are so many characters, I could really care less about little Kathy and Ethan at this point.]

Jack wants Grace to cut off his casts, but she doesn't believe that he's healed weeks ahead of time. [what's the point in having Jack act so weird??] She drives him to the hospital at Jack's father's request, and Jack decides to become a minister. [wow. another leap. going out on a crazy note, eh, Secret Life?] A psychiatrist tells him his bones can't be healed yet, but Jack doesn't believe him, of course. [plus, the whole "I gotta get back to football practice" thing doesn't mean as much if he's going into ministry, right?]

Tom wanted to have sex with Tammy, so he tells her she can move in with him and that he'd marry her. It doesn't work. In lecturing Tom, Kathleen begins to wonder if the only reason she is with George is because it's easy to go back to what you already know. [great point!] And, speaking of going back to what you know, George meets with David about Robbie's paternity... see, George took his own paternity test a while ago and knows he's NOT Robbie's biological father. But, he doesn't want David to be in control of Robbie, and that might be what's on the horizon. [dang. forget wrapping up everything neatly!]

Teen Mom 2: Two Make Strides, Two Regress

I'll hand it to MTV... once they're airing a season, they don't stop for no reason. They keep those episodes cranking on a regular basis. Unfortunately, when you run two seasons nearly back-to-back, it seems like a lot, even if those are truncated seasons in comparison to what the broadcast networks are doing. It's doing a good job of keeping viewers up-to-date as best as possible, though the lives of the girls are so publicized that the gaps are growing by the day. I can only imagine what the next check-up with Dr. Drew will be like! Jenelle still can't keep it together around her son, Chelsea is moving up in beauty school, Kailyn gets violent, and Leah plans to semi-elope.

Teen Mom 2 "Fall to Pieces" (S04E06): 
Jenelle: It's been a week since her surgery, and she asks Gary if he likes her breasts better now. He plays it safe and says he likes them both ways. [remember, she wasn't with him when she decided to get the procedure.] She invites Barbara and Jace over for dinner, but Gary does all of the cooking. [I really laughed at how Gary acts when Barbara's around. extra laughs, overly agreeable.] She plans to spend the night at her mother's so she can watch Jace early the next morning, but Barbara upsets her so she leaves. [the way those two fought over a bottle was disturbing.] She winds up not going back, and Barbara asks Gary to care for Jace the next morning. [Barbara has Gary's number??] Barbara tells Jenelle that she's doing nothing but gaining weight and being a pothead. [haha!]

MTV

Chelsea: She has started working the floor at the salon school, with real clients, and has her first up-do. [I was a bit shocked that she's be asked to do a hairstyle on a person before she's done it on a wig!] She's found a new place to live. She learns that Adam has a new girlfriend, and he sends her a letter about taking her to court. [I like that they spell out A-D-A-M around Aubree now.]

Kailyn: Javi brought his dog when he moved in, so now there are multiple dogs and cats running around the house and making messes. [that sucks.] Kailyn and Javi argue over the dogs, because there's a hole in the fence and he wants them to stay in the house, but she has friends over. The argument turns physical, and he talks about breaking up. [I would, too.] She calls Javi later and apologizes for putting her hands on him, and he agrees to work with her through her issues. They go swim with some sharks together. [even if it's something she's always wanted to do, I thought it was a strange activity to do right after a physical fight.] She thinks about taking boxing to help release her anger. [hahaha!]

Leah: She's overwhelmed with planning a wedding and finding a new place to live, so her mother hires a wedding planner to handle that part. [was Leah really giving her kids coffee??] She wanted a beach wedding, but because it can't be private enough, they'll have it at a pond instead. [SO not the same!] She and Jeremy put in an offer on the house and put both names on the mortgage, but because they're not married, they're less likely to get approved. So, even though the real wedding is in June, they plan to go to the courthouse and put it on paper to speed up the home-buying process. [I know that a lot of people do this (at least in Florida!), but I've never really understood it.] It's time for Ali's annual evaluations, and her social/emotional skills are on-par. Her cognitive skills are at age level, and her verbal skills are wonderful. Her hip and leg strength has improved but she's not using her calf muscles, plus her hands are weak. [her hands?] Her gross motor skills are at 11-12 months, so she's behind but improving. Her weekly appointments will continue to focus on getting her to walk, and Leah and Corey must pay attention to the latest exercises.

HIMYM: The Countdown is On!

A lot happened, you guys. I'm not 100% sure I understood everything I saw, either. It's quite clear that this episode is actually set in April 2013, exactly 45 days from Barney's wedding, and the day Ted meets the woman who will be "the Mother," whose degree will be in economics. And, Ted lives on West 82nd Street while the Mother lives on West 115th. Aside from those facts, much of the episode is actually speculation, as the events seemed to be memories Ted had of a years-prior event. (how prior may be up in the air. In the original Robots Vs. Wrestlers episode, the gang mentions that they later made it a yearly event, and which year Ted is remembering is not clear.) It was quite the throwback to see the coat-check girl again, and although I really liked Robin's space-dyed grey dress, the stand-out moment for me was NOT when Ted went to the Mother's doorstep in a vision but when the three Teds and three Barneys sang a lovely, harmonized, "For the Longest Time." Of course, I'm a sucker for that song and Neil Patrick Harris's singing, but still. (I even made it into a ringtone! yay, technology!)

facebook.com/HowIMetYourMotherCBS

How I Met Your Mother "The Time Travelers" (S08E20): At MacLaren's, Barney and Ted have tickets to Robots Vs. Wrestlers Legends - elderly wrestlers and old-time robots - but Ted doesn't want to go. Barney brings 20-years-from-now Ted and Barney to convince Ted, but then 20-hours-from-now Ted shows up to spoil the fun. [haha!] Present Ted (but really still years-ago Ted) then thinks he should go but not drink too much... but future-Barney thinks the drinking has to happen for the memories. [I like the idea that you should ask yourself "what would make the best memory 20 years from now?"] 20-minutes-from-now Barney arrives, and soon enough, a coat-check girl from seven years earlier shows up. [the time travel is pretty fancy, I gotta admit!] Ted goes over to talk to her, but future coat-check girls come to tell him that it's going to end in misery, 20 months down the road, so he lets the present girl leave the bar. 

While this is going on (and only Ted and Barney can see these time travelers, by the way), Marshall is upset that "his drink" at the bar is known as "The Robin Scherbatsky," rather than "The Minnesota Tidal Wave." [for posterity, the drink contains Coconut Rum, Peach Schnapps, Strawberry Creme Liqueur, Cranberry Juice, 5 T sugar, a whisper of vanilla vodka, and a handful of maraschino cherries.] Marshall wants to face Robin with a dance-off, but when Lily won't let him dance, he just writes Robin's number in the men's bathroom. She retaliates by writing a diatribe in the ladies' room purely to embarrass Marshal when it's so long that a woman enters while he's reading. [funny, but only in the context of this particular show and these particular characters, I thought.] He ends up being a creepster when he leaves the restroom, and he and Robin end up having a dance-off after all. [should've seen that coming!]

Monday Mornings: Military Medicine, Mix-Ups, Mistakes

I can't remember if I knew if the hospital was in Portland, Oregon, but that's interesting. Not as interesting as the remote medicine found in "One Fine Day," but still different. I found that episode significantly better than the one that followed it, "Truth or Consequence." In the first, we saw three very dangerous cases, and I'm glad it wasn't a happily-ever-after for all, as that would have been implausible. I also found the final scene in that episode very telling... Napur looking at Wilson looking at Ridgeway looking at baby Chloe. Obviously, that choice was made so viewers could learn Ridgeway's desire to be a mother, and the timing couldn't be worse - just after she's served with divorce papers. The second episode made me almost wish I had stopped watching this show again... I didn't care about Delaney - we had hardly met him. We all know Park needs to work on his bedside manner, but the "English lessons" on the computer were annoying. The jumper-turned-victim was fairly intriguing, but I felt that particular storyline was dragged out. Also, although I found the non-medical stuff with the deposition to be different, I don't want to watch a segment about it every single episode until it's resolved. How is everyone else feeling about this series?

Monday Mornings "One Fine Day" (S01E07): Wilson and Ridgeway were being intimate when his computer goes off and they have to help a field medic in Afghanistan who has very little to work with. [fascinating! I didn't realize military doctors consulted like this!] See, Wilson freelances some military medicine, thanks to robotic technology, among other things. The situation is serious and Wilson must walk the twenty-year-old medic through a craniotomy. [I had a rough time looking at all those holes!] Wilson is called into the M&M over his robot, and Hooten questions whether dating a colleague would compromise a doctor's work. He also gets into trouble for not following up - but the patient is doing fine.

Doug Hyun

Napur sees a ten-week-old infant who constantly laughs, and it turns out to be a brain tumor that was causing seizures. [awwww!] Operating is very risky on a child this young, but they can't wait because it could be affecting development. As soon as Wilson gets into the hospital, he's put on this operation, which is successful and little Chloe will only need to stay a few days in the hospital as a precaution.

[and, if the first two made it, you know this guy won't...] A 32-year-old man has a ruptured artery that caused a severe stroke. Park says that surgery would be a long shot, and the guy's husband and sister argue over what he would have wanted. The husband doesn't want him to suffer, but the sister thinks that they should give him every chance to fight to live. [it's a hard call!] Same-sex marriages are not recognized across state lines, so the sister has the final say. The hospital needs to minimize liability if the "losing" party decides to sue, and Hooten decides in the end to operate. But, mid-way through the procedure, Park decides he won't continue, as it would be futile. He's called into the M&M, and basically just told to read more pamphlets from Risk Management. [ha!]

Monday Mornings "Truth or Consequence" (S01E08): Starting in an M&M where a patient died after initially just having scar tissue on her ear because of a small dog bite. The patient received a lethal dose of pure epinephrine due a mix-up. However, although it was the fault of a nurse, all negligence falls to the surgeon (Delaney) in the OR. Hooten fires the guy, but Buck and Robidaux question that choice.

A patient comes in, impaled by a tree he fell on from a roof. He suffers severe injuries, and some of the doctors don't have good things to say about trying to save a guy who has no will to live. Similarly, a religious man does not want his wife's organs to be put into a guy who sinned so greatly. Before organs are transplanted into him, however, he writes that he didn't jump - he was pushed! [wow.] By his deadbeat dad! Buck becomes determined to save the kid, but he, Napur, and Villanueva end up in an M&M because they tried much harder after they found out the guy was a college graduate who was almost killed then when they thought he was a homeless bum committing suicide. [I thought this was a very moving segment, actually.]

Also, Wilson goes through a deposition for committing adultery with Ridgeway. It's intense, and it turns out that Ridgeway's husband's lawyer is going after the hospital for not stopping interpersonal relationships between married staff. [whoa. this could get interesting!]

Archer - Coyote Who?

Archer "Coyote Lovely" (S04E08): 

From the Diary of Archer Sterling...

Yeah yeah, I'm behind on my diary entries... but who can keep up with writing when there's an abundance of liquor to be consumed? Anyway, I'll try to recount my awesomeness posthaste so you have something to look forward to in life...

So there we were, capturing Moreno (the most infamous illegal smuggler on the border) with Lana and Cyril, laying in scorpion piss in Texas when Lana intentionally hurts my feelings. Of course, I saved the day along with Lana and Cyril's lives via some perfect sniper shots, when Moreno turns out to be a smokin' brunette.

Apparently, Moreno knew we were with ISIS. Anyway, so I accidentally knocked out Lana and purposely shot Cyril to continue to build my relationship with Moreno, which meant taking all the illegals she was shepherding across the border with us.  On the plus side, Mother was having a helluva time finding me.

FX Network

Moreno started worrying about getting caught by the border patrol...which we did. They shot me twice, but then we had to bring them along because it was the middle of nowhere. I kissed Moreno though, so totally worth it. At least Mother was yelling at Lana for not babysitting me. After surgery by an unlicensed vet to pull out the bullets, the border patrol air-lifts me out. Moreno slips me a note that explains she's a fake and how Mother paid her to clear us out of the way for the real Moreno's new, massive operation. Can't win em all...

Archer - Yes, Boom! Bumper.

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Last Man Standing: Mandy Is Bound for College!

I had so many problems with this episode. Let's start with the guest star, Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Now, you absolutely could have classified me as a fan in the 90s (remember my crushes list?), and it was great to see him again, but his character did only one thing - provide Kristin with a better waitressing opportunity. Otherwise, he existed purely for old Home Improvement jokes once again. [though, I'll admit, I laughed at the "more power" grunt!] Next, starting with older kids does make it difficult to keep a family comedy running, so the prospect of two children being out of the house kills that quite quickly. Keeping Kristin nearby but out of the house is fine, but having Mandy decide to go to a local college for a year to keep her around seems forced. I mean, how much do you want to bet that Mandy will end up on academic probation (as a fashion major, let's not forget) and not be able to transfer, thus keeping her around another year? Of course, that's only if the series lives that long, and I'm not sure it should. The second season has been markedly inferior to the first, even if they have added some fun characters like Chuck. Speaking of whom, Ryan trying to not be racist around him was pretty funny! If the series gets renewed, I'll tune in - but I don't know if I'll last another season.

Last Man Standing "College Girl" (S02E18): Mandy gets accepted to Laguna Beach University in California and University of Colorado - Denver.

ABC/Craig Sjodin

The price of LBU is $30k/semester, and Mike is upset that Ed helped her get into such an expensive place. However, Mike doesn't want to be the one to crush his daughter's dreams, so he tries to make Kyle jealous and convince her not to go so far away. [OF COURSE that's how he'd handle the situation... ::eye roll::] Kyle and Mandy decide that he'll move to California with her, leading Vanessa and Mike to talk to Mandy about college preparation. After a while, she begins to change her mind about going at all, but eventually decides to go to UC - Denver for a year to prove that she can handle college, then transfer for LBU. [aside from the fact that I think this is a contrived solution, I would have liked more from Mandy about why LBU.]

Kristin meets Ryan for dinner at a nice restaurant, which turned out to be owned by an old coworker of hers, John. [ouch! but, my husband and I both immediately knew this meant she'd be working there now.] Ryan invites her to move in, but she wants to think about it... right up until Mandy tells her how lousy her life is because she still lives at home. [if the show hadn't aged Kristin between seasons, it wouldn't seem so extreme.] Kristin quits her job and decides to waitress for John's restaurant, which means she'll be able to afford a place in LoDo. AND, although she initially wanted to be on her own, she asks Ryan to move in with her and Boyd. [I think those two are really rushing things...]

Mini-stories: Mike teaches Boyd the old diner trick of unscrewing the sugar, but Eve is wise to the prank and doesn't fall for it. Vanessa, however, falls for it on the salt container. [haha!] Mike later pulls the bucket-of-water-over-the-door one on Boyd. And, Chuck comes over to act like a stereotypical drill sergeant to help Eve with her rifle-handling skills.

1600 Penn: Finishing School, Fake Identity, Date Nights

I actually found a commonality with Skip! We both clean when we procrastinate!We also both have a wide variety of interests and will take classes in anything - his Bachelor's in General Studies features minors in critical film theory, Latin dance, political cartooning, landscape architecture, math, and Judaic studies. I don't have tons of minors, but I did take classes in wheel-throwing, multicultural film, piano, music history, art history, Signed English, clothing and textile history, astronomy, and, of course, the variety of courses required for my Bachelor's degrees in Theatre and Religion, and my minor in Child Development. But, enough about me. Can we notice that Neither Dale nor Skip go by their given name of "Standrich" ?? I am not one to be stringent about using one's given name, but if you don't use yours, why would you pass on the same name to your offspring? So they don't use it either? What's the point? Still, I liked these two episodes, but I'm not sad that NBC is seeming to burn off this series by airing the final two next week. Hey, at least we were treated to something pretty funny - Marshall putting a name on a door and winding up with a secret identity!

Byron Cohen/NBC

1600 Penn "The Short Happy Life of Reba Cadbury" (S01E10): After seven years at the University of Nevada - Reno, Skip is missing just a single paper from a single class before he can graduate. Emily makes it her business to get Skip to write a 25-page sociology paper, but it's Marigold who inspires Skip to actually sit down and finish the assignment. [and because he convinced her to read Dune, he realizes that he wants to be a teacher. love his spirit.]

Becca is put on a task force but is largely ignored, so she takes on a persona Marshall created (to give himself free time) to make her points heard. [I love that she had Xander make up a Wikipedia page for the woman!] But, when the Senator in charge of the committee likes the ideas AND Dale wants to meet with the woman, Becca needs to come clean. Marshall writes a press release that Reba has died, but Dale knows the truth and covers for his daughter so that her voice will be heard. [touching but not too sappy - I like it.] 

1600 Penn "Dinner, Bath, Puzzle" (S01E11): Skip interrupts Dale's meeting with the Postmaster General when his boots are late arriving. Turns out, Xander intercepted them and won't give them back. [why Dale or Emily don't enforce the respect for the property of others is beyond me.] Skip's got bigger things to deal with, however, when his parents ask him to watch the younger kids for an evening so they can have some private time. He manages to get out of fielding Xander's questions about Cosmo but does have a short heart-to-heart with Marigold upon learning of his sister's sexuality.

Dale and Emily are supposed to see a play for a date night, but he manages to get out of it by suggesting they take the advice of a visiting French dignitary and his wife: have an intimate dinner, take a bath, and put together a puzzle. [the French don't mean a jigsaw puzzle, but the First Family does not know that.] The evening starts out poorly but ends with fireworks so all is well. [they made excellent time on a 1500-piece puzzle!]

DB brings over a buddy comedy to watch with Becca, but she'd rather watch a French film with Marshall. [what was with him speaking French in a press conference?] She doesn't want to hide anything, so she awkwardly tells DB that she and Marshall were an item at one point. [eek!] The guys bond over what they dislike about Becca, but then slug one another. [haha!] Marshall leaves and Becca realizes that she is into DB, even if he wasn't what she was looking for.

The New Normal: Questioning Everything

I would have liked more attention to be paid to Goldie's storyline this episode, rather than just have her ask Brice to help her find a commercial space, and he does.It was a little too quick-and-easy, and although it does give her something to do once the baby is born, it doesn't help lock in her character's interaction with those of Bryan and David, so the show will need more anyway. We're staying Jane-light, which I like, but I feel like the episodes as a whole are starting to bumble a bit. Goldie seems to have no more fears about what she can accomplish. Rocky feeling inadequate makes perfect sense for her character, but the visions of her mother are a bit much. Bryan and David's rocky path to parenthood continues to be interesting, but sometimes it seems so far from realism that it's hard to laugh - you can write funny and then you can write believably funny... which one is this show going for?

The New Normal "Blood, Sweat, and Fears" (S01E19): Rocky has Shania watch Nikki for an hour, but when Shania does a great job and even figures out how to do black hair from a youtube video, Rocky feels insecure about her maternal abilities. [Nikki is so cute!] The next day, she won't accept help from Shania, but eventually apologizes to the grade schooler, who boosts her confidence.

Photo by: Trae Patton/NBC

David is upset that Bryan isn't concerned about the baby, relying on David's medical background to take care of anything. [So, David acts like a dad, not a doctor, and has Bryan answer their doctor's questions. This causes Bryan to research alternative birthing methods, and he, David, and Goldie attend a class. [David pretending to be a firefighter was hilarious for me!] Bryan winds up fainting, and a few other dads come by the next day to see how he is. They admit that they don't really want crazy natural births, either, and Bryan encourages them to be honest with their wives. [this was an incredibly weird scene, I thought.] However, Brice talks about missing out on being in the delivery room, so Bryan re-thinks things. [BRICE is the wisdom? what is this show coming to?] Next thing you know, one of the women in the class goes into labor, and David has to step up and deliver the baby when they don't make it to the hospital. [who saw this coming?]

Go On: SITATAWYD

Stay in there and think about what you did! Not gonna lie, I wondered what the acronym stood for from the moment that it was first mentioned, and although I did figure it out seconds before the characters, I wasn't that intrigued. In fact, this might be the only show I watch that has a large ensemble cast that I don't really care about. I tend to love ten different plotlines going on, but with this series it's difficult to get into the various stories... maybe the fact that the bulk of the group is WEIRD affects it just a little too much. And the absence of Carrie has been strange, too. I am a fan of Terrell Owens, but more as an athlete than a secretary. With a few episodes left in the season, I really can't make up my mind on if or how this show should continue - what are your thoughts?

Go On "Go for the Gold Watch" (S02E19): Danny is back on the market but still uses elementary-school flirting techniques, which don't work on Sonia. [hahaha!] Mr. K. has developed a love algorithm that can find perfect matches. Mr. K. thinks that Danny and Sonia would get a 98% using his system. Wyatt and Fausta score a 78%... and Lauren and Wyatt score a 23%. Steven and Lauren get a 99%. [as interesting as these facts are, they're still kinda dull.] Owen has been trying to figure out some info about Mr. K. and worries that Anne will blow his cover, so they work together.

Ryan has been yearning for better ratings and has finally moved up from #3 to #1, so the office throws him a party. [I loved the gatorade being spilled on him!] Then, Steven takes him out for a steak dinner to gloat. Ryan also becomes the newest caricature on the restaurant's walls, but this just causes him to realize that he might not ever be happy. He calls Lauren for help and eats his dinner in the restroom, and she suggests that he try helping others to make himself happier. [this whole thing was really weird for me... I just didn't believe Ryan's character would make those choices.] He signs up to be a Big Brother, but he soon hates the kid with whom he's matched. So, Ryan decides to help Danny get with Sonia. [I loved that he just took the clothes off of other people to dress Danny.] Anne gets Mr. K. to host a party, and she and Owen find a room with a dummy of Mr. Belvedere. See, Mr. K. played Wesley in the pilot. [how do they come up with this stuff??]

Colleen Hayes/NBC

Little People, Big World: Climbing Mount St. Helens

Longtime readers know that I'm a big fan of the Roloff family. I've enjoyed many of their episodes and specials, and, without being cheesy, I can honestly say that they HAVE affected the way I think about ableness and judgment. However, I thought that this installment fell a little flat. Maybe because Molly, Jeremy, and Jacob weren't in it, and maybe because all Matt did was build yet another structure for the farm. The hour-long update really just focused on Amy looking for a goal and then achieving it. While it was cool to see someone actually climb Mount St. Helens (I didn't know you could), I don't think it was the best use of an hour. Maybe Amy could have at least talked about the campfire food and how she'd improve it, now that she has a cookbook (Short and Simple Family Recipes) and all? Or perhaps Zach could have shared more about ANYTHING ELSE going on in his life besides doing this climb with his mother?

Little People, Big World "Conquering Mount St. Helens" (Special): Now that three of the kids are out of the house, Amy decides to step up her training and do a mountain climb on Mt. St. Helens for two days. [props to her - that's ambitious!] Zach decides to join in on the 8,000+ ft hike, though Matt doesn't think it's a good idea. Amy even wears a weighted backpack around the farm to train. She and Zach also do some park trails for practice, and Amy continues to push herself. On the big day, they get started at 1pm with a little over two miles to hike. They break at 1.5 miles to have a snack, and Amy worries that she won't be able to make it. [weird little "I don't know but I've been told" thing Amy was chanting.]

facebook.com/LittlePeopleBigWorld

They build their tents around 5pm, then work on a little practice part of the boulders. Her knees begin to bother her, and Zach starts to worry about his mother. They cook over a fire and have dehydrated food for dinner, then bed by 8pm so they're ready for a 6:30am breakfast. [they seriously showed Zach pulling up his pants zipper??] At 12:30pm they have 1200 feet left to climb, but it's through the boulders and ash. They finish and love the view. [it's nice that they didn't have to carry their large packs all the way up!] Matt is still in disbelief when they return. [that was odd to me.]

Matt wants to fill the hole where the old church was before it was moved to the wedding part of the property. He thinks that a little red schoolhouse would be a good idea, as Amy used to love teaching preschool. The big problem is moving it from their toolhouse, as it's taller than the doorway. They have to re-shingle a little, and then add a working bell tower, but in the end, Amy really likes it, feeling like she's on Little House on the Prairie. [I was smiling, too.]

RETURNING: Secret Life: Amy's Got a Dress...

Where to start? Well, I know that I'm going to miss this show when it finishes airing in a few months. I can't believe I ever got attached to this teen drama, but I think I just love the obscene number of characters who have more drama than I could ever imagine. And, speaking of drama, I really wonder what the point of having Amy buy that dress was... part of me wonders if it was for the simple reason that "#AmysDress" would surely get twitter in a twist? I'm struggling to think of another good reason - what do you think? And, more on Amy - I laughed pretty hard that she forgot she had a sister. I mean, can you really blame her? I think that Ashley was intended to be a popular character (remember when they released The Secret Diary of Ashley Juergens?), and it just didn't pan out... or India Eisley didn't love the work. Regardless, I anticipate seeing her return for an episode in this final stretch. Who I DIDN'T expect to see, however, was Chaz Bono. That cameo wasn't highly publicized, and I wasn't quite sure it was him at first, but I liked his appearance on this series, where every person has had a struggle in discovering who they are.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager "To Each Her Own" (S05E13): Amy buys a $25 wedding dress at a thrift store that she loves, but Ricky doesn't like it, finding it dirty, ill-fitting, and ridiculous. [I liked the neckline. Also, this takes me back. I had a friend buy a wedding dress at a thrift store years ago, though it was for a joke-wedding.] Ricky offers to buy her a new dress, but Amy claims that's a waste of money. He begins wondering if Amy only bought it to try backing out of the wedding (Adrian thinks this, too). Amy stands up for it, saying it just needs to be cleaned and altered, but almost everyone else has a negative reaction. George and Willadeen like it, but Anne isn't so sure. Jack tells her that maybe she should choose something different and Grace calls it unique. Adrian says that re-wearing her dress would be better, and Omar actually recognizes the designer and thinks it'll work well. [whoa. I was pretty surprised that Omar knew the label!] Ricky and Chloe look at a cell picture of the dress, and Chloe questions whether Amy is actually already married. [hmmm...]

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Kathy is struggling to return to her hometown, but her parents don't want her to stay with her grandmother because she'll be around "bad influences" like Amy and Ethan. [I can see that.] Ethan wants to talk to Kathy's parents about it, so he asks Ricky for advice on how to play Margaret and Shaker. Shaker is much more open to it than Margaret, and he decides to let Ethan fly to Texas as a learning experience. [I was a bit dumbfounded on this one...] Kathy doesn't want him to, tho, but Ben supports the idea and drives Ethan to the airport at the last minute, telling him to fight for the love of his life. [more foreshadowing?] Ben even springs for a first-class upgrade for the two. [oh, that Sausage money. always helping out!]

And, speaking of Ben, Leo and Camille worry about Chloe, who hasn't been able to sleep much for years. [awww.] She's pretty worried about school as she's gotten two or three years behind, and she tells Leo that she doesn't believe Amy's married. Leo tries to get Ben out of the country after graduation, but he wants to be there for that wedding. [of course.]

Anne finds out that George ran into David a while back, and begins to wonder if Robbie is David's son, as David now has twins. David is curious, too, and wants a DNA test. [what's the point of this? I think there's already enough happening in Anne and George's lives!] 

Robbie returns a trophy to Clementine, as all it does is make Amy mad. [Clementine being in love with Ricky is funny to me. I guess not to her.]

Teen Mom 2: Boys Come and Go

Well, Jenelle and Kieffer are back apart, so maybe we've actually seen the last of him this time. I laugh so hard at the idea that Chelsea wants to be like Farrah and move someplace else to get a fresh start... she's seen as so incredibly dependent on both of her parents (especially her father) that I don't think she would be at her best without that support system. And, speaking of new living situations, I really have a lot of doubts about Javi and Kailyn, even if we didn't already know that she's going to wind up with someone else. Of course, it would be much easier to move out on a boyfriend than a husband, which makes me worry for Leah. I know that she and Jeremy last, at least for a little while, but I still don't feel like the viewers are seeing the connection that the two of them must share. Or am I just missing something?

Teen Mom 2 "So Hard to Say Goodbye" (S04E05):
Jenelle: She has the breast enlargement and struggles to get around afterward. [she looked a little heavier than normal as she was going in for surgery.] She's been secretly texting with Gary, who sends her flowers. Her roommate is hiding the pain medicine so Kieffer doesn't help himself. [huge eye rolls. though, in all honesty, years ago I had a friend who was on pain meds for his back, and he had to keep them hidden whenever another friend's brother was around.] Kieffer isn't really being supportive so Jenelle goes to stay with her mother while she heals. Kieffer heads back to New Jersey, and Gary returns to her life. [who are we kidding here? her love life is hilarious.] 

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Chelsea: Because she has to move, she's considering going farther away than across town - she's sick of seeing and hearing about Adam. [I can relate to the idea of leaving your hometown, but a few months into school is not the ideal time!] Her mom thinks that the timing is bad and helps her look at local places. She isn't in love with any but might have to move into one anyway. She takes an exam at school where she has 45 minutes to cut the hair of a mannequin to seven inches. She gets a 90 on the test, with points taken off for stray hairs and blending. [interesting. I wonder how many mannequin heads you have to buy!?!]

Kailyn: She's out of school for the summer but is still working. She dreams of marrying and settling down, so she invites Javi to move in. She's never lived with a guy before but thinks it will work. [oh... this should be extra interesting then!] She doesn't really move around anything to make room for him before he brings his stuff over. [I found this totally odd... couldn't she at least have made some space for his clothes??] She suspects a proposal is in the works, and she starts hinting around the day he moves in. [I can't believe how awkward that was!] She suggests he pay for groceries and electricity. [I've never understood roommates who handle bills that way... is the math just too hard for them to divvy up the household bills each month?]

Leah: She decides that Corey isn't serious enough about working things out, so she asks Jeremy to move back in again. She wants to set a date for the wedding[

2 Broke Girls: A New Job?

It's back to the drawing board for the girls, but this time it's Max who wants to fight for their cupcake dream. I was impressed by that, though I was a bit surprised that Caroline didn't come up with a job better than a diner waitress as soon as she gave up on the cupcakes. What shocked me the most, however, is that Max doesn't let Caroline quit - she refuses to allow Caroline a different life, wanting her help with the cupcakes at all costs, even if they're just back to selling a dozen a day at the bakery. I admire Max's dedication... I don't know if I could have a shoppe and then be content to return to baking just a single batch each day. Of course, having Sophie around to pick up a couple here and there definitely helps!

2 Broke Girls "And the Temporary Distraction" (S02E19): Caroline is still upset about how things ended at the cupcake shoppe so she refuses to help Max with the small batches she prepares to sell at the diner each shift. The girls decide to temp for more money, but at the office, Caroline works hard while Max surfs the internet. [anybody surprised?] Caroline is soon told that she should apply for an executive position, which she gets. [seriously??]

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Caroline gets Max a full-time position as her assistant, but she wants to stick with her cupcake dream. [how are they the only ones in the office??] The girls argue about their futures, and Max takes charge by complaining to HR that Caroline sexually harassed her. [the photocopies were a great touch!] That's the end of Caroline's job. [her boss has been through four sexual harassment suits but Caroline's isn't even fully investigated before she's fired?] Back to the diner and cupcakes!

Cupcakery Savings Total: $5.00. [I guess they sold that one to Sophie for four bucks.]

HIMYM: Time and Space

I thought the bed gimmick was kinda stupid but laughed at the welcome mat scale. Similarly, I liked the window but not the sprinklers or the kitchen floor chute (especially with the repeated visuals of that one!). Or the Oz face thing. Of course, I found a lot of other flaws in this episode as well, like how quick the overwhelming number of Downton Abbey-esque jokes got old. And, while I'm still excited about Robin and Barney getting married (I think...), I'm intrigued that she has fallen hard enough for him that his quirks don't bother her any more. Getting past the Playbook was one thing, but loving his souped-up apartment just because it's his was something else. Now, if only we could have some classic Lily-and-Marshall instead of the current relationship we're seeing...

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How I Met Your Mother "The Fortress" (S08E19): Barney and Robin are weeks away from tying the knot and haven't decided where they're going to live. [haha. having gotten married while still in graduate school, this wasn't a problem for me... and I guess it's never occurred to me that others might argue about this!] Robin wants to find a new place instead of living in one of their apartments, but Barney is reluctant to sell his bachelor pad. After Ted isn't interested in the special features of the place, Robin takes charge and hosts an open house. [I don't think I could do that without my husband's blessing!] It doesn't look good, but they do wind up selling the place... until Robin finds out that the buyers want to change everything about it so she chases them off. 

Other than this, Lily has been working a lot because the Captain calls her at all hours. Marshall is left to spend his time with Marvin and Ted, and the two even pretend to be married at Robin's open house. [it didn't come off as funny as it could have, though.]